1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/dearsakura-18.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,469 @@
     1.4 +Dear Sakura
     1.5 +Darlest Before the Dawn
     1.6 +by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
     1.7 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.8 +pearsong1954@yahoo.com
     1.9 +
    1.10 +	Like a dolphin emerging from crystal blue water, Sakura exited a
    1.11 +small changing room with her usual energetic spirit. She smiled
    1.12 +beautifully into the camcorder capturing her image, looking only
    1.13 +mildly embarrassed. Her cheeks reddened ever so slightly as she
    1.14 +twirled with all of the grace that years of athletics had granted
    1.15 +her, her pumpkin colored pleated skirt twirling with her. Like a
    1.16 +professional dancer, her movement was smooth and captivating. The
    1.17 +camera angle remained constant, a memory frozen in time. Sakura
    1.18 +paused at last, smiling once again into the camera. Diamond tears
    1.19 +sparkled nearly imperceptibly at the corners of her emerald eyes.
    1.20 +After curtsying cutely, the brunette excused herself back into the
    1.21 +cramped changing room. The camcorder fell to the side as its owner
    1.22 +hurried near the small room concernedly. It had only been for a brief
    1.23 +second, possibly nothing more than a trick of the mind. But if there
    1.24 +was a single thing that Tomoyo could claim to be an expert in, it was
    1.25 +the usually genki brunette on the other end of the door.
    1.26 +	“Sakura-chan, are you all right?” the camcorder’s owner asked
    1.27 +worriedly, only a short distance from the door that separated them.
    1.28 +Pale fingers moved in front of the camera’s line of sight, touching
    1.29 +briefly on the wood frame, wishing that she could dismiss it to get
    1.30 +to the girl inside. No, the woman inside. They weren’t children
    1.31 +anymore. And she was no longer the one to share in Sakura’s feelings.
    1.32 +If Sakura didn’t wish to tell her, then she had no right to pry.
    1.33 +	“Hai,” a shaky voice replied from inside, one obviously trying to
    1.34 +cover recent tears. “I’ll be out in just a minute.”
    1.35 +	
    1.36 +	With a touch of a button, the images before her dispersed into
    1.37 +darkness. Tomoyo sat in her dimly lit room, still staring at the now
    1.38 +blank screen that had held the vision of her darling Sakura. It was
    1.39 +from one of her last tapes, one she had taken during her trip to Hong
    1.40 +Kong. And one of the most disturbing. What had gotten to Sakura? What
    1.41 +had brought her sudden tears? It had only been the second day of
    1.42 +Tomoyo’s visit and they had spent many hours talking the night before
    1.43 +so it could very well have been a mixture of sleep deprivation and
    1.44 +the shock of finally being with her best friend again. But Tomoyo had
    1.45 +slowly begun to suspect something else as the cause of the tears. It
    1.46 +had to do with her videotaping Sakura again, of that she was certain.
    1.47 +Sakura had always been embarrassed when she would videotape her, but
    1.48 +this time there had been something else as well. Almost a sense of
    1.49 +relief from the gorgeous brunette, as if she was glad to be the focus
    1.50 +of Tomoyo’s camcorder once more. The tears had looked so sad, so
    1.51 +lonely. It tore at Tomoyo’s heart to know that they had to grace the
    1.52 +Cardmistress at all. So what did this mean? On it’s own, perhaps
    1.53 +nothing. But adding to it what had happened since and the sense of
    1.54 +longing that had been present in Sakura’s letters as of late, Tomoyo
    1.55 +could begin to make assumptions. She was on the verge of ruining
    1.56 +Sakura’s life. And she had to jump ship before that happened or she
    1.57 +would drag Sakura under with her. 
    1.58 +	Sakura’s understanding of her feelings for Tomoyo had always been
    1.59 +simple. Tomoyo was a good friend, someone she could trust with
    1.60 +anything, someone she could always count on, someone who would always
    1.61 +be there for her. In a way, she had never really seen Tomoyo. She
    1.62 +hadn’t looked at her, seen her for who she really was. Tomoyo had
    1.63 +always been behind the camera, and because of it, Sakura had never
    1.64 +truly understood her eccentric best friend or the feelings that went
    1.65 +along with her. But now it looked like Sakura was dangerously close
    1.66 +to understanding those feelings in an entirely new light. Tomoyo had
    1.67 +been dragged out from behind the camera by Sakura and could no longer
    1.68 +hide. Sakura had finally seen Tomoyo, had finally really looked at
    1.69 +her. That thought was deliciously exiting to Tomoyo, but it also set
    1.70 +her on the verge of tears because she knew what deeper meaning it
    1.71 +held. If Sakura began to see the love Tomoyo had held for her all
    1.72 +these years, or worse, in some way returned these feelings, it would
    1.73 +ruin her beautiful marriage and the wonderful new life she had begun.
    1.74 +She would never be able to simply reject Tomoyo. Sakura could never
    1.75 +bear to hurt her like that. It would slowly tear apart everything
    1.76 +Tomoyo had prayed for in Sakura’s life. And so Tomoyo had decided
    1.77 +long ago that it was best not to tell Sakura, that despite that
    1.78 +promise from years long past, she would not explain to Sakura when
    1.79 +they were older. It would only burden the brunette and cause
    1.80 +difficulty for her, even more so now that she was married. 
    1.81 +	Darkness surrounded Tomoyo, deep and all encompassing. She honestly
    1.82 +didn’t know whether or not her eyes were open, only that they stung
    1.83 +with fresh tears. A huge dilemma lay before her, and it had taken all
    1.84 +of her strength to try and come to a decision. Her heart and soul
    1.85 +argued over which course of action to take, about where her path
    1.86 +should take her. For a time, she had found it nearly impossible, lost
    1.87 +in the possibilities, surrounded by bittersweet memories that
    1.88 +beckoned her to join them. Slowly, shakily, she had reached out and
    1.89 +finally grasped onto her decision. Now all that was left was to see
    1.90 +it through to the end. In the end, it came down to the most important
    1.91 +thing in her life: Sakura’s happiness. And Tomoyo would gladly die
    1.92 +for it. She would suffer whatever was necessary to safeguard the
    1.93 +happiness of the one she loved. 
    1.94 +But this was the most difficult thing she had ever done in her life.
    1.95 +Helping to get Sakura with Syaoran in the first place had offered her
    1.96 +a momentary distraction from the depth of her own feelings, allowing
    1.97 +her to concentrate on Sakura’s best interests alone. The marriage had
    1.98 +been incredibly painful for her, but it had been tinged with the
    1.99 +knowledge that Sakura would be embarking on a new life with the one
   1.100 +she loved, and that had eased her pain. But this offered no solace.
   1.101 +There was no escape from the pain this time. She merely knew that it
   1.102 +had to be done. For Sakura’s sake, and for her own. Her gingerly
   1.103 +crafted masks were beginning to betray her. Cracks had begun to
   1.104 +spiderweb through her many masks after her recent contact with
   1.105 +Sakura. They were slowly becoming undone right in front of her eyes.
   1.106 +When Sakura had seen her, had actually looked at the girl that hid
   1.107 +behind the normally smiling portrait of Tomoyo Daidouji, the masks
   1.108 +she had hidden herself behind had slowly but surely begun to shatter,
   1.109 +leaving her defenseless to the unbridled passion of her own love and
   1.110 +unable to hide it from Sakura’s curious eyes. She could no longer
   1.111 +handle the pain of watching the woman she loved happily married.
   1.112 +Sakura’s happiness meant the world to her, but watching Sakura’s
   1.113 +marriage was beginning to take its toll on the pale ghost of a woman.
   1.114 +How could she have fooled herself into thinking she could sit by and
   1.115 +watch it? Had she really thought she could quell the feelings in her
   1.116 +own heart? It would have been easier to still her heart from beating
   1.117 +than to keep the love inside at bay. She had been a fool to think
   1.118 +that her masks would be able to hide her from the pain, to think that
   1.119 +she could remain simply Sakura’s friend in a far off land as Sakura’s
   1.120 +new life took her further and further away. Not just physical
   1.121 +distance either. The dark haired girl was simply no longer necessary.
   1.122 +At one point in time, Sakura had always come to her no matter what
   1.123 +the circumstances. She had trusted Tomoyo with her fragile heart and
   1.124 +Tomoyo had done her best to take good care of it, trying to set it on
   1.125 +the right path. But now she had another to go to when she ever wanted
   1.126 +for something. Her husband was now the most important person in
   1.127 +Sakura’s life. Even then, Sakura still came to Tomoyo with surprising
   1.128 +frequency. It was yet another reason for Tomoyo’s decision. She was
   1.129 +standing in the way of Sakura’s marriage. She was an unnecessary link
   1.130 +to Sakura’s past, holding the brunette back in the face of her own
   1.131 +marriage. Syaoran was the one she should go to now. He was the one
   1.132 +that should share her pain and heal her heart. It was no longer
   1.133 +Tomoyo’s right to do so. 
   1.134 +Walking through the nearly pitch black room, Tomoyo hardly noticed
   1.135 +the fire that shot through her hip as she struck something in the
   1.136 +dark while walking. Ignoring it, the pale girl moved forward through
   1.137 +the shadows. Had anyone seen her then, they may very well have
   1.138 +mistaken her for a phantom, her pale features and tear streaked face
   1.139 +appearing almost translucent in the dim moonlight. Her room,
   1.140 +practically a shrine to her darling Sakura, now felt more like a
   1.141 +tomb. Her delicate hands finally found what she was searching for,
   1.142 +settling on the desk that had served her so well in the past. Whether
   1.143 +making costumes, labeling videotapes, or simply practicing for choir,
   1.144 +it had been a patient companion. These days, there were no more
   1.145 +costumes to be made, no more videotapes to label, and no more choir
   1.146 +to practice for. It held several slips of paper and a picture frame
   1.147 +on it vast expanses.
   1.148 +Collapsing weakly into the chair, Tomoyo burst into fresh tears,
   1.149 +sobbing quietly in the darkness as she was assaulted by a fresh wave
   1.150 +of agony. Was this the only way? Could she possibly find another
   1.151 +solution? No, this was her last option. She had to go through with
   1.152 +it. She couldn’t risk Sakura’s future any longer through her own
   1.153 +selfishness. If she truly loved the other woman, she would have to
   1.154 +see this through. That finally slowed her aching sobs, though it did
   1.155 +nothing for her shredded heart. With intentional care, Tomoyo slowly
   1.156 +continued to write the address on the envelope that lay before her,
   1.157 +concentrating as best she could on each and every character. Sakura
   1.158 +had told her that her writing was beautiful. She had to make sure
   1.159 +that it was lovely for Sakura’s sake. Because Sakura deserved no less
   1.160 +and she needed to make sure that Sakura didn’t think anything was
   1.161 +wrong. If she was going to succeed, then she had to make sure that
   1.162 +the letter didn’t worry her dear friend.
   1.163 +Memories are such fragile things. They lay tentatively on the edge
   1.164 +of one’s mind. Sometimes they would fade to protect their owner.
   1.165 +Other times, time itself would take its toll on them, wearing them
   1.166 +down into nothing. But there was something that existed beyond
   1.167 +memories, not simply the images and feelings that were conjured about
   1.168 +things from the past, but a deeper flame that could never be
   1.169 +extinguished. Memories of the heart. Tomoyo knew that she could never
   1.170 +forget Sakura, that the love in her heart would never fade away. But
   1.171 +in many ways, that made it so much harder to continue forward. Even
   1.172 +then, she would never want any of it to disappear. Her tapes of
   1.173 +Sakura left her with a wonderful look back at the past, crystalline
   1.174 +moments that she could treasure. They were an extensive documentary
   1.175 +on the beautiful brunette spanning nine glorious years. Tomoyo was
   1.176 +only sorry that they had to end now. She watched her tapes over and
   1.177 +over, reliving the time spent with her beloved Sakura. And for an all
   1.178 +too brief moment, they would be together again. 
   1.179 +Picking up an old costume design that she had never finished, Tomoyo
   1.180 +began to write on the back, the words gushing forth as a dam inside
   1.181 +of her finally burst open.
   1.182 +
   1.183 +‘Dear Sakura-chan,
   1.184 +As I sit here writing this, I see your beautiful face in my mind’s
   1.185 +eye, your sweet smile sending ripples throughout the stormy ocean of
   1.186 +my soul. I know that you may hate me for this, and though I could
   1.187 +hardly bear the thought of you ever hating me, I know that I must go
   1.188 +through with this. I’m not sure if I can explain why, but it doesn’t
   1.189 +really matter. Please know that you have always been the most
   1.190 +treasured thing in my life. I would never wish to hurt you. That’s
   1.191 +why I have to say goodbye.
   1.192 +Our time together in Hong Kong was like a gorgeous dream that I
   1.193 +never wished to wake up from. Even though I must finally awaken, I
   1.194 +will carry that dream with me always. Being with you was more magical
   1.195 +than any of the Cards you have in your possession. Your true power
   1.196 +doesn’t come from your magic or the Sakura Cards. It comes from the
   1.197 +indomitable force in your heart. That power has always pushed you
   1.198 +forward in life, and I was happy to be pulled along in its wake.
   1.199 +Nurturing it and helping it grow inside of you always brought a smile
   1.200 +to my lips. But now you have outgrown me. You no longer need my
   1.201 +helpful hand in the way. Like a mother watching her child venture out
   1.202 +into the world, it’s time that I let you go forth on your own. Please
   1.203 +don’t worry. I know that you must be thinking it isn’t so, that
   1.204 +there’s still some use for me. But I have seen you grow and mature
   1.205 +into a beautiful woman. Strong, confident, courageous. Sweet,
   1.206 +innocent, gentle. All of the qualities that so enamored me with you
   1.207 +for all of these years. You no longer need my love and support to go
   1.208 +forward. These are now within your own heart. When you need that
   1.209 +extra bit of love and encouragement, I know you will be able to find
   1.210 +it in your husband. So though tears dot this letter, please know that
   1.211 +I leave you in capable hands. I have always trusted you with all my
   1.212 +heart. I know that wherever your path in life leads, you will be able
   1.213 +to handle the roads ahead with ease. Nothing can hold back the lovely
   1.214 +and unstoppable Sakura-chan!
   1.215 +I know that I promised you long ago that I would explain what I
   1.216 +meant about the differences in our love when you were older. I’m
   1.217 +sorry that I never did. I thought that it would only interfere with
   1.218 +your life, with your feelings for Syaoran. I knew that you wouldn’t
   1.219 +be able to reject me outright. Your heart is too kind for that. And
   1.220 +in doing so, you may have ruined your chances at the marriage you now
   1.221 +find yourself in. So I will explain right here, where there is no
   1.222 +fear of the rejection you wouldn’t have put me through or the damage
   1.223 +it could have caused. All is already said and done, so this is merely
   1.224 +an afterthought, an explanation so perhaps you may understand your
   1.225 +best friend a little better and why I acted the way I did for all of
   1.226 +the years you’ve known me. Years ago, you were only a child of ten at
   1.227 +the time, I told you that I loved you. You said that you loved me,
   1.228 +too. It was so cute to hear you say that. You always were an
   1.229 +extremely sweet girl, Sakura-chan. My heart swelled to hear your
   1.230 +words, even though I knew you didn’t understand what I meant. I told
   1.231 +you that our love was different, that I would explain when you were
   1.232 +older. I’m sorry for taking so long to deliver my promise to you.
   1.233 +Love is such a vast and varied thing. There are so many depths and
   1.234 +intricacies that sometimes make it almost impossible to discern. I
   1.235 +know that you yourself have had difficulty understanding the
   1.236 +different forms of love in the past. Our love is very different from
   1.237 +each other’s love. You love Syaoran as your prince, your one True
   1.238 +Love, as your other half. You love me as your friend, your confidant,
   1.239 +and as a sister. I love you as my prince, my one True Love, my other
   1.240 +half. That is why I always wanted you to know how much I cared about
   1.241 +you, why I tried to show my love for you in everything I did, even if
   1.242 +you loved another. You are my special someone, Sakura-chan, the one
   1.243 +who captured my heart so long ago. Videotaping you, designing
   1.244 +costumes for you, even simply watching you filled my heart with joy.
   1.245 +Love can be an extremely strong force and it has had me in its grasp
   1.246 +for quite a long time now. I am lost to it, but I would never wish to
   1.247 +be found if it meant giving up the warmth and delight that it offers
   1.248 +me. Being in love with you has always been my fondest wish come true.
   1.249 +To love someone so charming, so enchanting, is something that most
   1.250 +people can only dream about. The way I looked at you, the way I
   1.251 +fawned over you, it was always with love in my eyes. It never once
   1.252 +mattered to me that you were a girl, though I know you didn’t
   1.253 +understand such things with the puzzled look you gave me when I tried
   1.254 +to explain my mother’s preferences. Sakura-chan is Sakura-chan.
   1.255 +Brave, beautiful, generous, genki. I love you for who you are. I
   1.256 +would never want to change you in the least. Images of you fill my
   1.257 +mind, swirling like pictures in a kaleidoscope. I love you, Sakura-
   1.258 +chan.
   1.259 +Everyone loved Sakura-chan, so I was not at all surprised that
   1.260 +someone else would eventually win your heart. I told you that I
   1.261 +wanted my special someone to be happy even if they couldn’t be with
   1.262 +me and I meant that. Your happiness means everything to me. If you
   1.263 +truly love someone, if your heart belongs completely to them, then
   1.264 +their happiness is truly your heart’s desire. Because you want the
   1.265 +person you love to be filled with joy, to live a life that will be
   1.266 +thrilling and fulfilling to them. I told you that I would be happy if
   1.267 +my special someone returned my feelings, but that their happiness was
   1.268 +what I wanted above all else. And that’s exactly how I feel. If you
   1.269 +could be happier with someone else, if someone else could bring out
   1.270 +the love in your heart, then that’s what I wanted for you. Even
   1.271 +mother feels this way, though she doesn’t entirely understand it.
   1.272 +When you were here, she explained that your father made your mother
   1.273 +happy. Mother has strong feelings against your father because he took
   1.274 +Nadeshiko-san away from her, but when she looks at you, she truly
   1.275 +knows that Nadeshiko-san was happy and that calms her spirits.
   1.276 +Because she loved Nadeshiko-san as much as I love you. Which is why I
   1.277 +know she understands my feelings for you. What she didn’t understand
   1.278 +is why I tried to push you towards Li-kun. I don’t know if you
   1.279 +understand that or not, so I will try to explain. I wanted you to be
   1.280 +happy above all else. I wanted you to fall in love with your prince,
   1.281 +to have a happy marriage, to have beautiful children, to live your
   1.282 +life to the fullest. I could tell that Li-kun was falling in love
   1.283 +with you and that the two of you got along very well. You really were
   1.284 +cute together. I wanted him to tell you and I tried to help him
   1.285 +along, to get him to express his feelings to you. I know it wasn’t
   1.286 +fair that I told him to tell you his feelings while I was silent
   1.287 +about my own, but I thought that you could be happy with him. I
   1.288 +thought he could be your one true love. As Kero-chan has said before,
   1.289 +there’s no such thing as coincidence. He was your partner, your
   1.290 +helper in Cardcapting. He protected you and was there alongside you
   1.291 +while I was hidden away behind a camera, watching it all happen. He
   1.292 +could give you a child, protect you, and love you. I thought that you
   1.293 +felt something for him as well, so I tried my hardest to help the two
   1.294 +of you along. My goal was to see Sakura-chan happily in love. I’m
   1.295 +glad that I managed to help see that come to pass. Perhaps that was
   1.296 +my part in Clow Reed’s grand plan, to help your heart grow and mature
   1.297 +and to find the love you so deserved. You’re now the most powerful
   1.298 +magician on the planet with a loving husband and an exciting new
   1.299 +life. That makes me happy. I knew my wonderful Sakura-chan could
   1.300 +accomplish anything.
   1.301 +So now I must fade away from your life, my mission finally complete.
   1.302 +Please know that I will always love you, Sakura-chan. That love will
   1.303 +never fade. I will always be by your side, my heart and soul yours to
   1.304 +command. They will always offer you their love and support. Please
   1.305 +don’t cry for me. It makes me sad when Sakura-chan’s sad. Please
   1.306 +smile and greet the new day knowing that your best friend got her
   1.307 +dearest wish in just watching you. As long as you’re happy, I will
   1.308 +be, too. Thank you so much for being my best friend, for letting me
   1.309 +into your life. Leaving it is the hardest thing I have ever done, but
   1.310 +I do so content in the knowledge that my sweet Sakura-chan is well
   1.311 +taken care of.
   1.312 +
   1.313 +Farewell,
   1.314 +Daidouji Tomoyo
   1.315 +
   1.316 +I’ll miss you so much, Sakura-chan.’
   1.317 +
   1.318 +	
   1.319 +	Stars sprinkled into Tomoyo’s room with barely visible pinpricks of
   1.320 +light, vaguely illuminating the half finished costume design on the
   1.321 +paper she had used to write her letter to Sakura. “Sakura-chan...”
   1.322 +her broken voice choked out, another sob wracking her small body. Her
   1.323 +hands went to her face, dark hair draping around her like a death
   1.324 +shroud as strangled sobs escaped her lips. Her heart felt like broken
   1.325 +glass, an antique accidentally knocked off a table by an overzealous
   1.326 +child, unsalvageable except for several jagged fragments. Despair
   1.327 +brushed its fingers through her hair, bringing its chilling shadow
   1.328 +across her heart. “Sakura-chan...” she whimpered again, tears falling
   1.329 +unheeded to the desk and the letter it held. What was she to do? How
   1.330 +could she live without Sakura? A midnight black thought entered her
   1.331 +mind in reply; how could she live her life with Sakura? She was close
   1.332 +to shattering completely, the cracks in her façade already becoming
   1.333 +evident. If she stayed in Sakura’s life, watched her love in her new
   1.334 +life and marriage, it would undoubtedly kill her. She hadn’t
   1.335 +understood how painful it would be as a child, hope still clinging
   1.336 +desperately to her heart at the time. ‘I knew that Sakura-chan would
   1.337 +come and rescue me,’ she had once said. No, this wasn’t her fairy
   1.338 +tale. It was Sakura’s. Which is why she had to leave it so that
   1.339 +Sakura could have her fairy tale ending and live happily ever after.
   1.340 +No matter how much it hurt her to do so, she had to go through with
   1.341 +it.  For Sakura to live, she had to die. Her stormy blue eyes fought
   1.342 +back another wave of tears as her body shook painfully. Her heart
   1.343 +ached for Sakura, images of the brunette appearing vividly in her
   1.344 +mind. “Don’t you make me happy,” her musical voice got out weakly
   1.345 +before it broke. 
   1.346 +	Numb fingers reached out slowly, grasping the letter in shaking
   1.347 +hands. “No... I can’t send this to Sakura-chan. I can’t send this to
   1.348 +her,” her gentle voice, no more than a whisper, seemed to disappear
   1.349 +before it even reached the young heiress’s ears. She held it up in
   1.350 +the dim light, barely able to make out the picture of Sakura in a
   1.351 +costume or the painstakingly crafted characters in her letter. It was
   1.352 +too sad. It would worry Sakura. She had to fade away from Sakura’s
   1.353 +life painlessly, leaving the brunette as simply as a dream that
   1.354 +disappeared when one tried to recall it. She held the letter tightly
   1.355 +to her chest as she choked back another sob. Leaving the now crumpled
   1.356 +letter on the side of her desk, Tomoyo pulled out a fresh piece of
   1.357 +paper and began to start all over again. 
   1.358 +	The thought that she would never see Sakura again cut into her
   1.359 +heart like a knife, each breath burning her further. She had known
   1.360 +this time would come for years now, but now that it was finally
   1.361 +happening, its crushing weight made any step forward seem impossible.
   1.362 +“I’ll never forget you, Sakura-chan,” she whispered, placing a soft
   1.363 +kiss on a picture frame that graced her desk. The picture of Sakura
   1.364 +smiled back happily, frozen forever in her expression of joy. With a
   1.365 +swift movement that almost scared Tomoyo, she shattered the picture
   1.366 +frame against the side of the desk. Glass fell quietly to the carpet,
   1.367 +Sakura’s picture fluttering free to lay atop them. Tomoyo reached
   1.368 +down, picking up the memory from years long past. She set it gingerly
   1.369 +on the desk, her fingers trailing Sakura’s features in the
   1.370 +photograph. How she wished she could step into the picture, to turn
   1.371 +back all these years so she could spend them with Sakura once more.
   1.372 +Even if things had to turn out this way, she would love to spend even
   1.373 +one slim moment with Sakura before she slipped away forever. Her hand
   1.374 +reached down again, picking up the biggest shard of glass off of the
   1.375 +floor. She barely noticed as it cut into her palm, the warm blood
   1.376 +trickling out over it seeming to be nothing more than a daydream. She
   1.377 +had to leave Sakura’s life, she knew that. But how could she just
   1.378 +tell Sakura that she was leaving her? How could she possibly write
   1.379 +Sakura a farewell letter? The warmth of her blood slipping through
   1.380 +her fingers felt so much nicer than the bitter cold that was wrapped
   1.381 +tightly around her heart. She had to escape Sakura’s life for both of
   1.382 +their sakes. She had to. Shaky fingers clutched the shard of glass
   1.383 +tighter, it’s sharp edge driving deeper into the soft flesh of her
   1.384 +hand. “Sakura-chan...” she whispered miserably. She couldn’t write
   1.385 +the letter. She could never tell Sakura goodbye like that. It was too
   1.386 +painful. She would just escape Sakura’s life now. It would be less
   1.387 +painful for them both that way. Sakura would forget about her soon
   1.388 +enough. She would be able to watch Sakura as her guardian angel,
   1.389 +could keep an eye on her beautiful life from up above. 
   1.390 +	“Forgive me, Sakura-chan. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”
   1.391 +Her stormy blue eyes shut tightly, Tomoyo brought the jagged glass to
   1.392 +her wrist and concentrated on the brunette as she felt the wet shard
   1.393 +press against soft skin. Tendrils of darkness and despair snaked out,
   1.394 +wrapping tightly around her heart. This was the only way. Sakura
   1.395 +would wake up from her dream named Tomoyo soon enough. And she would
   1.396 +be happy in her new life. If she didn’t do this, Sakura’s beautiful
   1.397 +life would come tumbling down, crushing the girl that Tomoyo loved so
   1.398 +dearly. Her pain was almost over. Just another few minutes...
   1.399 +	The shard of glass fell silently to the floor, a small trail of
   1.400 +blood following it. Some crimson ran down Tomoyo’s wrist, pooling on
   1.401 +her desktop. Her head slumped to the desk as she began to cry again.
   1.402 +She couldn’t. Not yet. The thought of her mother finding her, cold
   1.403 +and dead had hit her like a shockwave. She couldn’t put her mother
   1.404 +through that. Sonomi had already lost so much. That would be terribly
   1.405 +cruel to her loving mother. Even worse, the knowledge that Sonomi
   1.406 +would call Sakura to the funeral sent a terrible chill through her.
   1.407 +She wanted to die to protect Sakura, to escape this pain, but that
   1.408 +would only serve to hurt Sakura even more. No, she had to wait. She
   1.409 +would be moving out in several days. She would go someplace far away
   1.410 +and disappear from Sakura’s life forever. 
   1.411 +
   1.412 +	“So there you are, Tomoyo-chan. I was beginning to think you’d
   1.413 +fallen asleep in front of another of your videos again,” Sonomi
   1.414 +teased, smiling at her lavender haired daughter. Tomoyo looked paler
   1.415 +than usual this morning for some reason. Her stormy blue eyes looked
   1.416 +distant, their normal sparkle gone. The head of the Daidouji
   1.417 +household gasped when she saw the bandage around Tomoyo’s right hand
   1.418 +and left wrist. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan! What happened?” Bolting up, the
   1.419 +normally overcautious mother hurried to her daughter’s side. Patches
   1.420 +of red shown through the bandages covering her daughter’s delicate
   1.421 +hand. Tomoyo was still a little shorter than Sonomi but it took all
   1.422 +of the older woman’s self-restraint not to kneel down as she had when
   1.423 +Tomoyo had been a little girl. 
   1.424 +	Tomoyo smiled softly, but the smile didn’t meet her eyes. The dark,
   1.425 +stormy eyes looked dead, their depths dark and unyielding. Part of
   1.426 +that frightened Sonomi. Her daughter hid so much but she had always
   1.427 +managed to see past her masks and into those very emotional blue
   1.428 +eyes. They were the same as Sonomi’s own eyes, part of the reason she
   1.429 +suspected that she could see through to her daughter’s true feelings.
   1.430 +But this time it was as if there was nothing behind them or as if
   1.431 +they were completely cut off to her. “It’s all right, okaa-sama. I
   1.432 +just hurt myself last night. I was trying to clean up some glass
   1.433 +after I accidentally knocked over a picture frame in my room. I
   1.434 +shouldn’t stay up so late watching my Sakura-chan videos. I get so
   1.435 +tired that I have a hard time concentrating.” 
   1.436 +	Inspecting the hand, Sonomi bit her lower lip. There was something
   1.437 +about all of this that worried her, but she couldn’t quite put her
   1.438 +finger on it. Sighing, she let go of Tomoyo’s injured hand at last.
   1.439 +Her fingers brushed back some of Tomoyo’s lavender hair. “All right,
   1.440 +but I want you to go see a doctor about that later. I don’t want
   1.441 +anything bad to happen to your lovely hand because of some glass.”
   1.442 +	Nodding in agreement, Tomoyo held the letter in her other hand
   1.443 +tighter. “Hai, okaa-sama. I’ll go to the doctor later today then.” 
   1.444 +	Sonomi watched with growing unease as Tomoyo walked out to the
   1.445 +mailbox with the strange letter held tightly in her other hand. It
   1.446 +didn’t seem like Tomoyo to be so out of it. Her eyes usually had a
   1.447 +beautiful sparkle in them, her beautiful smile an entrancing quality
   1.448 +to it. Just what had happened to her little girl? 
   1.449 +	Tomoyo stood in front of the mailbox with the letter half in. Her
   1.450 +pale fingers refused to let go of the letter they held. Her heart
   1.451 +argued painfully against her still unsure mind. This was it. This was
   1.452 +the last contact she and Sakura would ever share. After this, she
   1.453 +would be all alone. Forever. “Goodbye, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo
   1.454 +whispered. Her heart screamed out in agony as the letter fell in.
   1.455 +Closing her eyes, the dark haired heiress held herself tightly. Her
   1.456 +body shook lightly as she stood there. The midmorning sun should have
   1.457 +felt refreshing, but her body felt like it was encased in ice. She
   1.458 +had to wonder if she had done the right thing. As long as Sakura was
   1.459 +happy, it wouldn’t matter. Arms wrapped around her cold body gently,
   1.460 +pulling her tightly into a hug. “Okaa-sama...?” she asked weakly. It
   1.461 +wasn’t until she felt Sonomi’s fingers brushing away her tears that
   1.462 +she realized she was crying again. “Mother..!” She grabbed onto
   1.463 +Sonomi with all of her strength, breaking down in tears in the
   1.464 +embrace of her mother. 
   1.465 +Sonomi held Tomoyo, whispering soothingly as she patted the younger
   1.466 +woman’s back. “Oh, my baby girl... My poor baby girl,” the
   1.467 +heartbroken mother whispered. She held Tomoyo’s head on her shoulder,
   1.468 +closing her eyes as she continued to rub the lavender haired girl’s
   1.469 +back. Tomoyo’s body shook against her as her daughter was wracked
   1.470 +with sobs. ‘Oh, Nadeshiko-chan... This can’t be how things have to
   1.471 +turn out. This can’t be. Why my baby girl? Please... Please give me
   1.472 +an answer, Nadeshiko-chan...’
   1.473 \ No newline at end of file