1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/dearsakura-16.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,259 @@
     1.4 +Dear Sakura
     1.5 +by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
     1.6 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.7 +pearsong1954@yahoo.com
     1.8 +
     1.9 +
    1.10 +Dear Tomoyo-chan,
    1.11 +
    1.12 +
    1.13 +Thank you for the beautiful letter. It means so much to me when you
    1.14 +write. I wanted to tell you about your letters. I guess that sounds
    1.15 +sort of silly, because you write them and know all about them. But
    1.16 +what I mean to say is, let me tell you why they are so special to me.
    1.17 +When I am expecting one, everyday I rush to the mailbox, or to the
    1.18 +little whicker basket where the servants deposit the mail, hoping it
    1.19 +has come. It was like this waiting for Syaoran-chan's letters all
    1.20 +those times he was away in Hong Kong. Except his letters were pretty
    1.21 +short now that I think about it, and were mainly special because he
    1.22 +wrote them. Anyhow, when I do see one of your letters I know it right
    1.23 +away. The envelopes are very distinctive, with a heavy paper and
    1.24 +creamy color. When I see one, my heart dances with joy, because I
    1.25 +know that your precious thoughts and feelings are sealed inside.
    1.26 +Sometimes I am so excited I read it there in the hallway, or outside
    1.27 +by the little black mailbox. But sometimes it is like Christmas Eve,
    1.28 +when it is more exciting to wait and unwrap the beautiful presents at
    1.29 +just the right time. So, sometimes I wait for a special moment when I
    1.30 +am alone and can read in silence. I read the last letter you wrote at
    1.31 +midnight, in the garden, by moonlight. 
    1.32 +
    1.33 +When I open the envelope I feel all excited, and sometimes have to
    1.34 +calm down before reading. Tomoyo-chan, your letters have a wonderful
    1.35 +scent, like lilacs. I am not sure if you use scented stationary, or
    1.36 +if it is just you. Sometimes if I close my eyes it is like having you
    1.37 +with me again, so close. Then I start to read. Your calligraphy is
    1.38 +exquisite. Your scriot always amazed me when we were going to school.
    1.39 +I was just happy to get the strokes right, but your writing flowed
    1.40 +like a shimmering river. But what you write to me is even lovelier
    1.41 +than the beautiful characters. When I am sad, you cheer me up, and
    1.42 +when I am confused about something, you help me understand. You know
    1.43 +and understand so much. All of my life you have been there to help me
    1.44 +along. When I thought about this, I realized your letters are just
    1.45 +like you. They are beautiful, and kind, and brimming with love.
    1.46 +Gomenesai, Tomoyo-chan. For all the years we were together, I don't
    1.47 +think I quite understood. About you, I mean. Because you were always
    1.48 +with me, and were so close, I don't think I understood how important
    1.49 +you are to me. Lately there is an odd, empty feeling I have, as if
    1.50 +something is missing from my body. Something I long for, something to
    1.51 +fill and complete me. I never felt this way before. Even all the
    1.52 +times Syaoran was gone, I missed him, but not like this. When I read
    1.53 +your letters, for a few golden moments I feel whole again. When you
    1.54 +were here for your visit, I was happier than I have been since
    1.55 +leaving home. Because you were with me. 
    1.56 +
    1.57 +Your letters are like little whispers from far away. When they come,
    1.58 +I listen with all my heart. They mean so very much to me. I keep them
    1.59 +in a little folder close to the bed, although your last letter is
    1.60 +under my pillow when I sleep. Sometimes I take them to school, and re-
    1.61 +read them during the day. Once my sensei-friend, Jun-sama, found me
    1.62 +reading them during lunch. She says she called my name several times
    1.63 +before I noticed her standing there. I bowed and apologized for my
    1.64 +rudeness, but she laughed and said it was charming that a married
    1.65 +woman was still receiving love letters. That made me blush terribly,
    1.66 +and she laughed even more when she found out the letter was from you.
    1.67 +We talked after that, and I told her how much I miss you. She said
    1.68 +that you probably miss me just as much, which was amazing because
    1.69 +I've never thought of it like that. She said friends and lovers are
    1.70 +both sad when they are separated. The difference is that friends can
    1.71 +gradually become used to distance, but that the hearts of lovers
    1.72 +always suffer when they are apart. I told her this seemed odd,
    1.73 +because it was the opposite with me. When Syaoran-chan was gone all
    1.74 +those years, I eventually got used to things. But I told her that
    1.75 +with you, my friend, it has gotten worse everyday. She looked sort of
    1.76 +sad and sighed when I said this. I told her it must have been very
    1.77 +difficult for her, losing her love the way she did. Jun-sama said her
    1.78 +heart has never healed, and never will. Tomoyo-chan, I felt so sad
    1.79 +for her because her love is gone from the world. I started to cry.
    1.80 +She hugged me, like a mother would to reassure a child. But she
    1.81 +didn't tell me everything would be all right, because she was crying,
    1.82 +too. And it won't ever be all right for her, because her love is dead.
    1.83 +
    1.84 +Gomenesai, I'm crying again. I'm crying a lot lately, and I'm not
    1.85 +sure why. I feel awful for Jun-sama, and your Mother, and my Father.
    1.86 +Their hearts must be so lonely all the time. I feel like this because
    1.87 +you are gone, and we are best friends. How can they live when their
    1.88 +true love has left them forever? And I know I will see you again, and
    1.89 +soon I hope. But they will never be with the one they love. That's
    1.90 +why it makes me so sad when you wrote that you will never see your
    1.91 +special someone again. I am so very sorry I never knew how much pain
    1.92 +not being with your true love has brought you. Gomenesai, until that
    1.93 +night in the garden, I never knew. In my heart it feels like this is
    1.94 +all my fault. Maybe if I had understood, I could have helped. Why
    1.95 +didn’t I know when we were so close? I was so caught up in the Cards,
    1.96 +and Li-kun, and so many trivial things while my best friend needed
    1.97 +me. How could I have been so stupid?  I was your best friend, and I
    1.98 +failed you.Gomenesai.Gomenesai, Tomoyo-chan.
    1.99 +
   1.100 +It's morning now and I'm writing this on the bus to work. I couldn’t
   1.101 +write anymore last night. I was still sad when I woke up, but now
   1.102 +know what to do now. I can never make up for all the pain in your
   1.103 +heart. I am more sorry than I can say, yet all the apologies that can
   1.104 +be made won't fix things. But I will. I swear it. I am certain that
   1.105 +anyone would be blessed and honored by your love. I know I would!
   1.106 +Even if they are married, or with someone else, there has to be room
   1.107 +in their heart for your love. There has to be. It's just too horrible
   1.108 +if they don't know about you.  If they never know of your love, it is
   1.109 +almost as if they were dead. Please don’t worry, Tomoyo-chan, because
   1.110 +everything will be all right. I cannot live and be happy if you are
   1.111 +sad.
   1.112 +
   1.113 +Now, as for the rest of your wonderful letter. Thank you so much for
   1.114 +the beautiful photographs! Your Mother is right. You would make a
   1.115 +delightful model. I am looking at one of the pictures now, the one
   1.116 +where you are in the blue sundress, with your hand holding onto your
   1.117 +hat. It reminds me of our trip to the beach. I get very hanyaan when
   1.118 +I see you in this picture. It was so incredible to swim with you, to
   1.119 +hold you close in the warm water. Aiyaaa! Tomoyo-chan, sometimes I am
   1.120 +surprised at how I feel about you. It's funny, because we are both
   1.121 +girls and all, but when we kissed I was in another world, another
   1.122 +place that I wanted to be in forever. Just remembering the garden
   1.123 +makes me dizzy and faint and filled with joy. Oniichan said once that
   1.124 +a kiss is how two souls meet. He doesn't usually say such nice
   1.125 +things, but I think it is true. I never felt so close to you as that
   1.126 +night. 
   1.127 +
   1.128 +I hope no one sees me blushing like this on the bus. Thinking about
   1.129 +people seeing me blush is making it worse. But anyway, thank you
   1.130 +again for the pictures. Oh, and Fanren says thank you, too. She was
   1.131 +very excited to get the photographs. She really likes you. I also
   1.132 +love my Tomoyo-chan cooking video. I was going to make the recipe
   1.133 +yesterday afternoon, but I couldn't stop watching you. Tomoyo-chan is
   1.134 +like a pretty ballerina in the kitchen, so cute and fun to watch. I
   1.135 +will try and concentrate on the recipe this weekend. 
   1.136 +
   1.137 +Thank you for talking about Syoaran-chanand me. It really helps so
   1.138 +much. You are so perceptive, and it is always wonderful to be able to
   1.139 +talk about things. I have never been very good about understanding
   1.140 +people. So often they say one thing, and mean something else. So,
   1.141 +hearts are very mysterious to me. I thought I knew all about Syaoran-
   1.142 +chan, but I didn't. Oniichan says that you only begin to know someone
   1.143 +when you are living together. Sugoi, another thing Oniichan said that
   1.144 +isn't stupid! Anyway, I wonder sometimes if Syaoran is the same
   1.145 +person I married. When I told him this he just got more angry, and
   1.146 +said I was imagining things. But maybe it is true. He says things to
   1.147 +me now that he never did before. And he seems distant, somehow. I
   1.148 +know he loves me, and I still love him with all my heart, of course.
   1.149 +Well. Anyway, please do not think that you are the reason for certain
   1.150 +things between Syaoran and me lately. Tomoyo-chan, we don't see each
   1.151 +other a lot anyway, because he is so busy. Our being together cannot
   1.152 +have bothered him all that much. I really don't think our being
   1.153 +together was what upset him. I guess he has a lot on his mind with
   1.154 +work and all. 
   1.155 +
   1.156 +I do feel bad about Meiling-chan. I don't think she wants to see me,
   1.157 +or I would have talked to her before. Not long ago I asked Fanren-san
   1.158 +about it, and she said that Meiling-chan has always been quick to
   1.159 +anger and slow to forget. She said that Syaoran-chan and Meiling-chan
   1.160 +had been matched at birth as a most propitious couple by her
   1.161 +grandfather, who was a revered Master of the Chinese magic concerned
   1.162 +with beginnings and endings. I thought I should apologize to him, so
   1.163 +I visited his grave at the family cemetery. The cemeteries in Hong
   1.164 +Kong are even more crowded than those in Tokyo. Most of the graves
   1.165 +are very small, but his was large and quite elaborate, which is no
   1.166 +doubt a mark of great respect. I left flowers, and said prayers of
   1.167 +apology. But I did not feel good afterwards, and came down with quite
   1.168 +a cold. When Ieran-sama found out how I came to be sick, she said
   1.169 +this was what happens to those who meddle with angry ghosts. I was so
   1.170 +scared by what she said that it was hard to sleep that night. Do you
   1.171 +think I should try and talk to Meiling-chan? 
   1.172 +
   1.173 +Tomoyo-chan, I miss you so much. I wish I had back all the time we
   1.174 +were together, to live again knowing what I know now. I wonder if
   1.175 +things would different? I pray we can be together soon. It’s so hard
   1.176 +not to be with you.
   1.177 +
   1.178 +Love,
   1.179 +
   1.180 +Kinomoto Sakura
   1.181 +
   1.182 +PS Please give my best wishes to your Mother. I have been thinking a
   1.183 +lot about her lately.
   1.184 +
   1.185 +
   1.186 +  
   1.187 +
   1.188 +
   1.189 +Dear Sakura-chan,
   1.190 +	I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you are curled up with
   1.191 +your husband, happy and loved, content with the wonders that life has
   1.192 +bestowed upon you. My one wish for you is that you will spend the
   1.193 +rest of your days in endless joy. That your laugh will echo through
   1.194 +the Li home, that your smile will light up the lives of everyone who
   1.195 +is blessed with your presence. That you and your husband can forever
   1.196 +travel the moonlit seas of eternity. If I know that you are happy, it
   1.197 +will always bring a smile to my face. What would make me happiest
   1.198 +would be to know that my darling Sakura-chan is shining brightly. If
   1.199 +you could grant me a single wish, Sakura-chan, that is what I would
   1.200 +like the most. You don't need to find my True Love or even grant me
   1.201 +the boundless thrill of your presence. All I want is to know that you
   1.202 +will always be happy, that you will face this life with a beautiful
   1.203 +smile. If I know that, then I can smile as well. I'll forever watch
   1.204 +over your beautiful emerald eyes and you pretty smiling lips. And
   1.205 +that will be my greatest joy. I'm sure you will have a gorgeous life,
   1.206 +Sakura-chan. Your story isn't over yet. I want Sakura-chan to have
   1.207 +the happiest ending. 
   1.208 +	Sakura-chan, thank you so much for being my best friend for all of
   1.209 +these years. You befriended me when no one else would, showing me
   1.210 +from the start how kind and sweet you are. I will always love you for
   1.211 +that. You were always so cute and genki. Being around you always made
   1.212 +my days a little taste of the heavens. I will forever treasure the
   1.213 +beautiful gift of friendship that you have given me. You will never
   1.214 +know how much it meant to me. Having a best friend like you was
   1.215 +almost too much to bear at times. It was like a lovely dream that I
   1.216 +never wanted to wake up from. Just like the eraser you gave me my
   1.217 +first day of school, I'll keep your friendship in a little locked
   1.218 +box, this one deep inside my heart. It was the most precious gift
   1.219 +anyone has ever given me. 
   1.220 +	You were an amazing girl and you've grown up to be an even more
   1.221 +amazing woman. All of the videotape in the world couldn't catch every
   1.222 +bit of you. I can only settle for the slivers that I've managed to
   1.223 +capture on tape, beautiful moments suspended forever. Time has been
   1.224 +very generous to you, Sakura-chan. I'm glad that I've been able to
   1.225 +see its affect. But time also leaves many endings in it's wake. It's
   1.226 +not something to fear, though. With endings come new beginnings.
   1.227 +Those whose stories have ended can watch those whose stories are just
   1.228 +beginning. In time, I'm sure that you will have a beautiful child. I
   1.229 +can already see her. Very cute, and very energetic, just like her
   1.230 +mother. I know you'll make an excellent mother. You have so much love
   1.231 +in your heart. I know she will never be left wanting.
   1.232 +	Sakura-chan, I'm very sorry, but I'll be going away soon. I don't
   1.233 +know where yet. I just think that there are things I should do with
   1.234 +my life now. I'll be leaving Tomoeda shortly, though I haven't
   1.235 +decided on a destination. Mother doesn't want me to leave, but I
   1.236 +think she understands that it's for the best. I want her to be happy,
   1.237 +too, but like you said about Jun-san, I'm not sure if she ever can be
   1.238 +without Nadeshiko-san. That has always broken my heart because I know
   1.239 +mother sees some of Nadeshiko-san in me and it must be painful for
   1.240 +her. She has been hurt quite a bit, but she has always moved forward.
   1.241 +She is a very strong woman. She really did think you were a wonderful
   1.242 +girl, Sakura-chan. She still does, I know it. 
   1.243 +	I'm sorry. I spilled some droplets of water on the paper again. I
   1.244 +must be getting clumsy these days. Sakura-chan, it's so hard to say
   1.245 +goodbye. I never understood how difficult it would be. Even when you
   1.246 +left for Hong Kong in the first place it wasn't this bad. I think
   1.247 +it's because I knew that you would still be there, in some small way.
   1.248 +That tiny hope flickered in my heart, shining in the darkest of
   1.249 +nights. But now, I don't have that lighting my path. But that's all
   1.250 +right. Because I'll always be with you. My heart will always look
   1.251 +back to yours. Thank you so much for being the best friend I could
   1.252 +ever have dreamed for. Thank you for letting me dress you up in
   1.253 +costumes and for letting me videotape you and for just letting me
   1.254 +stay by your side. Thank you for the beautiful memories you have
   1.255 +granted me. And thank you for the warmth in my heart that I would
   1.256 +never have found if I hadn't met you. Please remember that even if
   1.257 +I'm far away, even if you don't hear from me, I will always be right
   1.258 +by your side. You will never be far from my thoughts or my heart.
   1.259 +Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Please smile for me.
   1.260 +
   1.261 +Your friend for all time,
   1.262 +Daidouji Tomoyo
   1.263 \ No newline at end of file