1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
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     1.4 +Dear Sakura
     1.5 +by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
     1.6 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.7 +pearsong1954@yahoo.com
     1.8 +
     1.9 +
    1.10 +Dear Tomoyo-chan,
    1.11 +
    1.12 +Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you
    1.13 +again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to
    1.14 +places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being
    1.15 +with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content,
    1.16 +as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost
    1.17 +as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete
    1.18 +without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re
    1.19 +so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I
    1.20 +guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a
    1.21 +help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things
    1.22 +better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and
    1.23 +for all the years you have been my very best friend.
    1.24 +
    1.25 +The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from
    1.26 +Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I
    1.27 +just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There
    1.28 +really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy.
    1.29 +But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So,
    1.30 +the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be
    1.31 +patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you
    1.32 +have gone.
    1.33 +
    1.34 +Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It
    1.35 +seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up
    1.36 +talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when
    1.37 +we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our
    1.38 +adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on,
    1.39 +and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about
    1.40 +all we went through together, it really is quite amazing.  I tried to
    1.41 +find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me,
    1.42 +or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if
    1.43 +you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be
    1.44 +happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them
    1.45 +myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who
    1.46 +could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her
    1.47 +about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit.
    1.48 +I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping
    1.49 +it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to
    1.50 +be Tomoyo-chan's true love!
    1.51 +
    1.52 +I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very
    1.53 +quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It
    1.54 +really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of
    1.55 +you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering
    1.56 +her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was
    1.57 +cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too.
    1.58 +At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had
    1.59 +never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She
    1.60 +looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes
    1.61 +we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very
    1.62 +angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the
    1.63 +kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also
    1.64 +baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled
    1.65 +at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo-
    1.66 +chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is
    1.67 +unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she
    1.68 +dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But
    1.69 +Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would
    1.70 +you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not
    1.71 +as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan.
    1.72 +You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't
    1.73 +been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like
    1.74 +this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't
    1.75 +think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that
    1.76 +a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it
    1.77 +out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai.   
    1.78 +
    1.79 +I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is
    1.80 +so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are
    1.81 +lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to
    1.82 +look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to
    1.83 +figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so
    1.84 +complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season
    1.85 +starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this
    1.86 +fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure
    1.87 +out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy.
    1.88 +Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays
    1.89 +from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright
    1.90 +little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant.  
    1.91 +
    1.92 +I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you.
    1.93 +But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really
    1.94 +upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you
    1.95 +left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that
    1.96 +when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and
    1.97 +moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble
    1.98 +expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we
    1.99 +sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that,
   1.100 +especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but
   1.101 +it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help
   1.102 +it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a
   1.103 +stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out.
   1.104 +
   1.105 + I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying.
   1.106 +Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to
   1.107 +calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the
   1.108 +beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were
   1.109 +still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there,
   1.110 +comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart
   1.111 +still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You
   1.112 +are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan
   1.113 +left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right
   1.114 +away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not
   1.115 +finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I
   1.116 +realized it was a costume for me. 
   1.117 +
   1.118 +Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it,
   1.119 +because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so
   1.120 +carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered
   1.121 +all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger,
   1.122 +and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really
   1.123 +didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my
   1.124 +precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful
   1.125 +present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I
   1.126 +have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so
   1.127 +close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I
   1.128 +understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the
   1.129 +Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being
   1.130 +with you.
   1.131 +
   1.132 +I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt
   1.133 +better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if
   1.134 +you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long.
   1.135 +Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I
   1.136 +feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last
   1.137 +night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess
   1.138 +this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me,
   1.139 +even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.
   1.140 +
   1.141 + 
   1.142 +  
   1.143 +With all my love,
   1.144 +
   1.145 +
   1.146 +
   1.147 +Kinomoto Sakura
   1.148 +
   1.149 +
   1.150 +Dear Sakura-chan,
   1.151 +	I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail.
   1.152 +Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you
   1.153 +even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always
   1.154 +such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I
   1.155 +can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you
   1.156 +were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to
   1.157 +look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed
   1.158 +carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s
   1.159 +bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger
   1.160 +box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I
   1.161 +reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They
   1.162 +have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to
   1.163 +entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl.
   1.164 +Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep
   1.165 +myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would
   1.166 +never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was
   1.167 +the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world
   1.168 +that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life,
   1.169 +granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so
   1.170 +very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful
   1.171 +to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life
   1.172 +again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I
   1.173 +wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that
   1.174 +really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga,
   1.175 +Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of
   1.176 +everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always
   1.177 +thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy
   1.178 +that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful
   1.179 +life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing
   1.180 +than the pieces I have in my VCR. 
   1.181 +	Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by
   1.182 +far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places
   1.183 +to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan.
   1.184 +It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you
   1.185 +for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me
   1.186 +with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be
   1.187 +able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a
   1.188 +short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were
   1.189 +pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely
   1.190 +experience. I will carry it with me always.
   1.191 +	Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling
   1.192 +face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be,
   1.193 +so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit
   1.194 +and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of
   1.195 +the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some
   1.196 +videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was
   1.197 +there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take
   1.198 +quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran-
   1.199 +sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy
   1.200 +about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother
   1.201 +didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a
   1.202 +bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the
   1.203 +pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been
   1.204 +switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my
   1.205 +heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just
   1.206 +Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but
   1.207 +you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I
   1.208 +could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever
   1.209 +says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been
   1.210 +through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always
   1.211 +agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I
   1.212 +shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other
   1.213 +again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well
   1.214 +as my own. 
   1.215 +	Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s
   1.216 +very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me
   1.217 +will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong
   1.218 +to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left
   1.219 +it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other
   1.220 +purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a
   1.221 +while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you
   1.222 +found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what
   1.223 +to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s
   1.224 +so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I
   1.225 +always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when
   1.226 +you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to
   1.227 +see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or
   1.228 +another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery
   1.229 +determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your
   1.230 +beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set
   1.231 +your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura-
   1.232 +chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked
   1.233 +on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout
   1.234 +it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your
   1.235 +life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest
   1.236 +wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing
   1.237 +more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart
   1.238 +into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even
   1.239 +this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad. 
   1.240 +	But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish
   1.241 +it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for
   1.242 +you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you
   1.243 +with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as
   1.244 +a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor.
   1.245 +You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what
   1.246 +brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them.
   1.247 +You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an
   1.248 +accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t
   1.249 +finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan.  
   1.250 +	I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to
   1.251 +help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more
   1.252 +complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could
   1.253 +in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just
   1.254 +remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of
   1.255 +your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination
   1.256 +I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste
   1.257 +exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because
   1.258 +Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but
   1.259 +she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it.
   1.260 +I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out
   1.261 +that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had
   1.262 +some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased
   1.263 +me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick
   1.264 +with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much
   1.265 +more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of
   1.266 +and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind
   1.267 +the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing,
   1.268 +the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able
   1.269 +to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing
   1.270 +to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you
   1.271 +and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded
   1.272 +me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the
   1.273 +one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were
   1.274 +so adorable in it!
   1.275 +	I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very
   1.276 +straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t
   1.277 +tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and
   1.278 +my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind
   1.279 +woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going
   1.280 +to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break.
   1.281 +Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her
   1.282 +cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot
   1.283 +to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even
   1.284 +if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister
   1.285 +I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t
   1.286 +exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk
   1.287 +while I was there. 
   1.288 +	Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very
   1.289 +happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few
   1.290 +difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them
   1.291 +anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is
   1.292 +almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in
   1.293 +love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy
   1.294 +for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I
   1.295 +stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think
   1.296 +I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will
   1.297 +ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So
   1.298 +I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them
   1.299 +with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any
   1.300 +longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do
   1.301 +now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one
   1.302 +day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as
   1.303 +they continue forward in their life. 
   1.304 +	I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times,
   1.305 +but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family
   1.306 +and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended
   1.307 +for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li
   1.308 +Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And
   1.309 +aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for
   1.310 +a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she
   1.311 +doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever
   1.312 +hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by,
   1.313 +I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun
   1.314 +was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very
   1.315 +differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar
   1.316 +position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you
   1.317 +will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship
   1.318 +with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one
   1.319 +of them. 	By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen
   1.320 +of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She
   1.321 +must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I
   1.322 +took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a
   1.323 +bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong,
   1.324 +outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also
   1.325 +worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with
   1.326 +your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you. 
   1.327 +	The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll
   1.328 +be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very
   1.329 +excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura-
   1.330 +chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart.
   1.331 +I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little
   1.332 +cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The
   1.333 +little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of
   1.334 +all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my
   1.335 +videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with
   1.336 +Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer
   1.337 +is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was
   1.338 +based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her
   1.339 +friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura-
   1.340 +chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that
   1.341 +you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it,
   1.342 +especially as time goes by. 
   1.343 +	Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with
   1.344 +Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m
   1.345 +afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very
   1.346 +jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to
   1.347 +Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of
   1.348 +you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun
   1.349 +everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite
   1.350 +some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he
   1.351 +must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I
   1.352 +was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never
   1.353 +wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an
   1.354 +apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as
   1.355 +possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful
   1.356 +marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there.
   1.357 +You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my
   1.358 +thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you,
   1.359 +holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there
   1.360 +instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and
   1.361 +care. 
   1.362 +	I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you
   1.363 +have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm
   1.364 +inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best
   1.365 +thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my
   1.366 +life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could
   1.367 +never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you
   1.368 +have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my
   1.369 +life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream
   1.370 +about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart,
   1.371 +even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you.
   1.372 +Because my heart will always call out to you. 
   1.373 +
   1.374 +You friend forever,
   1.375 +Daidouji Tomoyo
   1.376 +
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   1.379 +