1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/dearsakura-06.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,872 @@
     1.4 +Dear Sakura:
     1.5 +Together Again
     1.6 +by The Amazoness Duo
     1.7 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.8 +
     1.9 +	“Damn it!” Sonomi screamed into the empty expanses of the vacation
    1.10 +home up in the mountains. It was supposed to be a retreat from the
    1.11 +pain of everyday life, a place of refuge that she could take her
    1.12 +darling daughter to and escape for a few days. It was a comfortable
    1.13 +little place up in the mountains that she had picked out with Tomoyo
    1.14 +years earlier. But this visit was anything but relaxing. Her retreat
    1.15 +had betrayed her, leaving her just as pained as if she were right in
    1.16 +the middle of things. It offered little escape this time, the
    1.17 +knowledge that Tomoyo was off in Hong Kong with the woman that had
    1.18 +broken her heart firmly in Sonomi’s overworked mind. Yet even with
    1.19 +that knowledge, she still expected to see her dark haired daughter
    1.20 +out in the garden, videotaping the beautiful flowers and butterflies
    1.21 +or on the balcony watching Sakura-shaped clouds in the sky. And each
    1.22 +time, she was profoundly disappointed to find her little girl absent
    1.23 +from her usual charming activities. 
    1.24 +	Puffing on her cigarette, Sonomi leaned against the balcony
    1.25 +railing, watching the garden where she and Tomoyo would have picnics
    1.26 +on their visits. Normally, smoking wasn’t a habit she kept up with.
    1.27 +Back when she had first picked it up in high school, it was rather
    1.28 +short lived after Nadeshiko’s insistence that she stop. And she had.
    1.29 +Despite it’s ability to help her relax when things were too
    1.30 +stressful, she would do anything for her gentle goddess. Who needed
    1.31 +such a thing when they had a sweet cousin like Nadeshiko by their
    1.32 +side? It would be bad for her running, after all, just like Nadeshiko
    1.33 +had said. Even if HE could beat her at track. But he was the only one
    1.34 +who could beat her. He always was. But somehow, he managed to beat
    1.35 +her at everything. At racing and at love. He had stolen her beloved
    1.36 +Nadeshiko’s heart away from her, even though she had promised
    1.37 +Nadeshiko that she would protect her from people like him. Part of
    1.38 +Sonomi had died that day, at the wedding. More of her had died after
    1.39 +Nadeshiko’s death some years later. Sometimes she thought that the
    1.40 +only reason any of her was still alive at all was because of Tomoyo.
    1.41 +Her darling daughter was another sweet angel in her life. And Tomoyo
    1.42 +didn’t like it when she smoked either, telling her that it made her
    1.43 +sad to see Sonomi doing such things to herself. So she had quit again
    1.44 +for the sake of her little daughter, deciding that she was worth any
    1.45 +sacrifice. 
    1.46 +	But right now, neither Nadeshiko nor Tomoyo were there with her.
    1.47 +And she was feeling self-destructive. She wanted to breathe smoke.
    1.48 +She wanted to throw away all of her professional success in the past
    1.49 +few years. She wanted to destroy every one of her racing trophies.
    1.50 +What did any of it mean anymore? She had been twice blessed to have
    1.51 +angels come into her life, but one had left it painfully and the
    1.52 +other was being torn apart in front of her eyes. And as always,
    1.53 +Sonomi, the brash and protective woman that she had always been, was
    1.54 +completely helpless to stop it. That made this all the more painful.
    1.55 +The memory of watching Nadeshiko during her dying days haunted her.
    1.56 +She had promised to protect her little cousin and she had been
    1.57 +powerless to hold back death’s embrace from whisking her away. And
    1.58 +now it was all happening again. Her angelic daughter was dying in her
    1.59 +own way. And once again she was forced to watch. She couldn’t force
    1.60 +that pain away with a glance, hold her daughter close and protect her
    1.61 +from the cold knives of pain the world was intent on throwing at her.
    1.62 +Yet Tomoyo smiled through it all. An angel to the bitter end, she
    1.63 +tried so hard to keep her mother happy while her own soul was being
    1.64 +cut into. 
    1.65 +	“Agh!!” Sonomi hit the railing she was leaning against fiercely
    1.66 +with her right hand. The pain that shot through her clenched fist
    1.67 +just sought to anger her even more. “Nadeshiko-chan, why does it have
    1.68 +to be this way? Why does she have to get hurt as well? Am I cursed?
    1.69 +Is she destined to relive my pain?” The business woman’s voice
    1.70 +lowered as her blue eyes closed, imagining her darling cousin’s image
    1.71 +in her mind's eye, speaking directly to her as she often did when she
    1.72 +was hurting. “Please tell me, Nadeshiko-chan. I don’t understand.” 
    1.73 +	The wind whispered in her ear, blowing about Sonomi’s short
    1.74 +brunette hair as if in answer, but she was still left all alone. A
    1.75 +slender hand went to her mouth, deep breaths escaping her lips as she
    1.76 +tried to calm herself. The breaths were shaky at best, barely holding
    1.77 +back the onslaught of rage and loss that threatened to overcome her.
    1.78 +But Sonomi was a strong woman. She had survived this long.
    1.79 +Unfortunately, the waves always seemed to get higher in her life,
    1.80 +threatening to drown her in sorrow. She could almost hear Nadeshiko
    1.81 +chiding her about the cigarette. A small, pained laugh left her as
    1.82 +she put it out. “She’s so very much like you, Nadeshiko-chan. I could
    1.83 +never stand to see you suffer at all. I promised I’d always protect
    1.84 +you. Why do I have to watch her follow the same path I went through?
    1.85 +Why can’t I take away her pain?” Her eyes opened slowly, looking out
    1.86 +across the garden. Her heart dropped when what she thought was either
    1.87 +Nadeshiko or her daughter’s lovely gray hair happened to be nothing
    1.88 +more than some dust being thrown around by the wind. “Sometimes I
    1.89 +swear our daughters must have gotten switched at birth, Nadeshiko-
    1.90 +chan. She’s so kind and gentle like you. And she has such a loving
    1.91 +heart. She holds in so much pain and it’s killing me to watch her in
    1.92 +it, pretending it’s not even there. Please... Please, Nadeshiko-chan.
    1.93 +Don’t let this happen again. Don’t let what happened to us happen to
    1.94 +our daughters. I love you so much. I can’t stand to see my little
    1.95 +girl go through the same pain.” 
    1.96 +	Sonomi slumped to her knees on the balcony, her body feeling weak
    1.97 +beyond its years. Her memories of Nadeshiko were all too vivid, all
    1.98 +too painful in her mind. Every glimpse, every touch, it all came back
    1.99 +with surprising force. Her heart longed for her dearly departed
   1.100 +cousin, missing her more and more with each passing day. Not a day
   1.101 +went by when her thoughts weren’t consumed with the woman she loved.
   1.102 +Her death had only served to separate them even farther. And if it
   1.103 +hadn’t been for Tomoyo, Sonomi would have been quick to join her.
   1.104 +“Nadeshiko-chan, I need you. Why did you leave me? You’re everything
   1.105 +to me.” Even with her eyes open, she could still see the haunting
   1.106 +afterimage of Nadeshiko, her smile tugging at the business woman’s
   1.107 +heart. “You always said I was strong. But damnit, Nadeshiko-chan, I
   1.108 +was strong for you. Because I wanted to protect you. Because I wanted
   1.109 +to make you happy. If I couldn’t do that for you and if I can’t for
   1.110 +Tomoyo-chan, then what good is any of it? Why does my pain have to
   1.111 +live on through my daughter? This can’t happen.” She sighed weakly,
   1.112 +running her hands through her hair. Her jumbled emotions were all
   1.113 +calling for attention, leaving her feeling burnt out inside. She felt
   1.114 +so weak and helpless, unable to change anything. The river of life
   1.115 +had her caught tragically in it’s current and she could cause little
   1.116 +more than ripples in the water. 
   1.117 +“I’m sorry for being angry with your Sakura-chan, but I can’t help
   1.118 +it. Tomoyo-chan’s so much like you and seeing the pain in her eyes
   1.119 +that Sakura-chan causes in her is unbearable for me. I can’t help but
   1.120 +see some of Fujitaka-sensei in her now that I see her hurting Tomoyo-
   1.121 +chan so much. And I’m sorry about that. I know she’s your little
   1.122 +girl, but seeing my daughter in pain...” She sighed, shaking her head
   1.123 +as Tomoyo came to mind. What was happening to her over in Hong Kong
   1.124 +right now? Why couldn’t she have come with her? It would have been
   1.125 +better for the both of them. “But Tomoyo-chan wouldn’t want me mad at
   1.126 +Sakura-chan either. She would say it wasn’t her fault and that she
   1.127 +was happy for her. But I can see underneath those words at the pain
   1.128 +underneath and it tears me up inside. She’s so sad and she won’t let
   1.129 +it out. Because she doesn’t want me to worry about her. I guess I
   1.130 +shouldn’t be mad at Sakura-chan. It’s the same thing that happened
   1.131 +with you. You went off and got married, too. But that just makes this
   1.132 +even worse because I know exactly what hell Tomoyo-chan is going
   1.133 +through. And I can’t tell her it will get any better because I still
   1.134 +miss you.”
   1.135 +	Her blue eyes falling closed again, Sonomi could swear she felt
   1.136 +Nadeshiko’s gentle fingers brush past her cheek reassuringly. “Please
   1.137 +don’t let this happen, Nadeshiko-chan...”
   1.138 +
   1.139 +	An exhausted pale woman plopped down onto a guestroom’s futon bed
   1.140 +in a flurry of dark hair. The day had been long for Daidouji Tomoyo
   1.141 +and she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. But all of that
   1.142 +hardly mattered to the young heiress. Smiling to herself, Tomoyo
   1.143 +brought a hand up to her mouth and yawned. She had almost forgotten
   1.144 +how much energy it took to keep up with Sakura. The brunette seemed
   1.145 +to be nearly inexhaustible in whatever she did. And that mixture of
   1.146 +determination, enthusiasm, and pure loveable spirit always managed to
   1.147 +draw Tomoyo along afterward in awe. Never having been as energetic as
   1.148 +Sakura, the other woman’s presence managed to revitalize her. 
   1.149 +	Being with Sakura again was like a beautiful dream. But like all
   1.150 +dreams, she knew that she would eventually have to awaken from it.
   1.151 +That thought brought her back to reality, her hand instinctively
   1.152 +reaching for her camcorder. If she had to leave her beloved Sakura,
   1.153 +she needed to have every precious second on videotape. Checking to
   1.154 +make sure that it had new film, she gently placed it on the large
   1.155 +Victorian style desk. Those memories of Sakura might be the last she
   1.156 +would have after this visit. She would slowly allow herself to fade
   1.157 +from Sakura’s life completely after returning home. It would make
   1.158 +things easier for Sakura who had already started a new life that she
   1.159 +couldn’t be a part of. Eventually, Sakura would forget about her,
   1.160 +happily living out her new life in wedded bliss. 
   1.161 +	“Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered sadly as she sat back on the bed.
   1.162 +Her stormy blue eyes clouded over, tears threatening to break through
   1.163 +her carefully orchestrated masks, ready to spill past her ivory
   1.164 +cheeks. How can you give up the one you love? How can you let
   1.165 +yourself become nothing more than a memory? Because you love them.
   1.166 +Because you must set them free to live their life without you. Tomoyo
   1.167 +knew that she would forever be bound to her love for Sakura, but the
   1.168 +emerald eyed woman would soon have no need for her. Staying in her
   1.169 +life would just be painful for the both of them. She had told Sakura
   1.170 +that the most important thing in her life was that her beloved was
   1.171 +happy. Even if they couldn’t be together. “I know you don’t
   1.172 +understand, Sakura-chan. And hopefully you’ll never have to. When I’m
   1.173 +gone, I’ll be happy knowing that you’re smiling.” 
   1.174 +	So if this was going to be her last time with Sakura, every single
   1.175 +moment had to be treasured fully in Tomoyo’s heart. The dark haired
   1.176 +designer smiled a bit, wiping the tears from her eyes. That part was
   1.177 +easy, Sakura’s warm aura lifting her heart up. To be with Sakura
   1.178 +again was truly a vacation from the loneliness and sleepless nights
   1.179 +that she had been dealing with since the wedding. Her aching heart
   1.180 +felt like it would burst to be near the Cardmistress again. Sakura
   1.181 +was just as cute and sweet as always. She was becoming a gorgeous
   1.182 +young woman. Sakura truly was the perfect bride. Li-kun was very
   1.183 +lucky to be blessed with Sakura’s presence. Though curiously enough,
   1.184 +Tomoyo hadn’t seen an awful lot of him. She would have thought that
   1.185 +he would be there near Sakura during the entire visit, bathing in her
   1.186 +glorious nature the same way Tomoyo herself did. Yet she’d barely
   1.187 +seen the Chinese Sorcerer at all. That coupled with Sakura’s
   1.188 +increased outpouring of affection had her confused. If Sakura’s
   1.189 +letters were any indication, she really had missed the company of her
   1.190 +best friend. And Tomoyo could agree with that notion wholeheartedly.
   1.191 +She missed Sakura terribly every day that she was without her. So she
   1.192 +would be happy to be by Sakura’s side for the duration of the visit.
   1.193 +This one day alone had been worth all of the months of loneliness and
   1.194 +pain to be able to enjoy the beauty of Hong Kong right alongside her
   1.195 +gorgeous Sakura.
   1.196 +	Wincing slightly at the weariness in her body, Tomoyo began looking
   1.197 +through the cedar chest in her room for a nightgown. Memories of the
   1.198 +day and her time with Sakura kept racing through her mind, bringing a
   1.199 +smile to her lips. Sakura really hadn’t changed much during her time
   1.200 +in Hong Kong. She was still the same wonderful woman that Tomoyo had
   1.201 +fallen in love with years before. And her presence still made
   1.202 +Tomoyo’s heart flare up with love for the brunette. Sakura’s sweet
   1.203 +voice still rang in her ears like a beautiful song, making her feel
   1.204 +peaceful and calm. 
   1.205 +Singing softly to herself, Tomoyo finally picked out a cyan
   1.206 +nightgown and set it down gently on the bed. She didn’t sing in front
   1.207 +of people the way she had back when she was on the choir club, but
   1.208 +she still sang often when she was alone. It was something she had
   1.209 +always enjoyed doing. It was a way of letting herself drift, letting
   1.210 +her thoughts flow free. Her mind could wander along to the rhythm of
   1.211 +the music, but it always invariably settled on one thing in
   1.212 +particular; Sakura.  And that’s where her mind had settled now as she
   1.213 +let her hair down from the ponytail it had been in all day, long dark
   1.214 +hair pooling about her shoulders. Her clothes were laid neatly on the
   1.215 +bed before she pulled the nightgown over her head. Getting ready for
   1.216 +bed in Hong Kong again brought back memories of her first trip there
   1.217 +with Sakura. She had even spent the night at this very house while
   1.218 +she had been there, though that time she had shared a bed with
   1.219 +Sakura. This time Sakura would be sharing a bed with her husband. So
   1.220 +some things had changed since her last visit. Her heart wavered for a
   1.221 +moment, but she forced the saddening thought away. At least Sakura
   1.222 +was here. That’s why she had returned to this house, after all.
   1.223 +Because Sakura had gotten married. And other than a few moments that
   1.224 +day when Sakura had been rather emotional, she seemed to be happy. So
   1.225 +she should be glad for her. The only reason Sakura was overemotional
   1.226 +was because of her visit anyway. Sakura wouldn’t need to hide her
   1.227 +tears in dressing rooms after she was gone. 
   1.228 +	Tomoyo closed her eyes, taking an unsteady breath. “Sakura-chan...”
   1.229 +
   1.230 +	Meanwhile, the subject of Tomoyo’s thoughts was getting ready for
   1.231 +bed herself. Sakura had already changed into her pajamas and was
   1.232 +sitting next to Syaoran on the bed. Her poor husband looked so tired.
   1.233 +She had been talking about her day with Tomoyo ever since she had
   1.234 +gotten back home and he had quietly listened the whole time. He was
   1.235 +lying on the bed, his eyes half open. Sakura giggled softly and
   1.236 +brushed some hair from her eyes. “Gomen, Syaoran-chan.” She leaned
   1.237 +forward and gave her husband a brief kiss. “Work must have been tough
   1.238 +today. Maybe we can talk about it later.”
   1.239 +	Syaoran nodded, his eyes half closed as he suppressed a yawn.
   1.240 +“Sure.” He stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep his eyes open.
   1.241 +“It was a long day. We should get some sleep.” His eyes opened after
   1.242 +slipping closed for a second when he felt Sakura’s head on his chest.
   1.243 +	Sakura sighed softly. Even after all that she had done that day,
   1.244 +she still wasn’t feeling tired. She was too excited to be tired.
   1.245 +After being Tomoyo-less for months and months, her best friend was
   1.246 +only a few rooms away. Her mind wouldn’t shut off long enough for her
   1.247 +to sleep. Tomoyo stirred so many feelings inside of her. It was
   1.248 +difficult to comprehend. “Hai, you’re right. I think I’m going to go
   1.249 +check on Tomoyo-chan first before I go to sleep,” she said
   1.250 +thoughtfully.
   1.251 +	“Daidouji’s like Meiling,” Syaoran stated matter-of-factly, his
   1.252 +concentration blurring as sleep began to prey on his mind.
   1.253 +	“Hoe?”
   1.254 +	Syaoran yawned again, resting his head back. “Yeah. They both like
   1.255 +to say embarrassing things.” 
   1.256 +	A giggle escaped Sakura’s lips at that. “I guess that’s true. I
   1.257 +never really thought about it. But it’s nice when she says them.”
   1.258 +Kissing Syaoran’s cheek, she sat back up. Tomoyo might already be
   1.259 +asleep, but she thought it would be okay if she just peeked in to
   1.260 +check up on her. Or to at least catch a glimpse of her best friend.
   1.261 +She felt like a little girl trying to get a last glimpse at the
   1.262 +Christmas Tree before being forced off to bed. “I’ll be back in a
   1.263 +little bit. Go ahead and go to sleep. I’ll join you soon.” She smiled
   1.264 +sweetly at her husband as she slid off the bed. He watched her for a
   1.265 +moment, offering a half smile of his own before rolling over and
   1.266 +closing his eyes. 
   1.267 +	Padding silently out of the room, Sakura made her way down the hall
   1.268 +towards Tomoyo’s guestroom. Tomoyo had nearly fallen asleep with her
   1.269 +head on Sakura’s shoulder earlier, so Sakura doubted she would still
   1.270 +be awake. But it would be nice to see her again before going to sleep
   1.271 +herself.  The door opened slowly after she grasped the doorknob. 
   1.272 +	“Hello, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said warmly from inside. 
   1.273 +	Sakura sweatdropped as she entered, closing the door quietly behind
   1.274 +her. “Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. I thought you were asleep. I hope you
   1.275 +don’t mind.” She returned the pale woman’s warm smile. “I just wanted
   1.276 +to see you again.”
   1.277 +	Tomoyo shook her head, her dark hair swaying with the motion. “No,
   1.278 +I’m glad you came, Sakura-chan. I was hoping you would. I’m always
   1.279 +happy to see you.” Patting the bed next to her, Tomoyo made room for
   1.280 +her hostess. Thoughts of seeing Sakura again had filled her mind for
   1.281 +the last few minutes, but she hadn’t actually thought that Sakura
   1.282 +would stop by before the morning. Seeing Sakura now got rid of the
   1.283 +sadness tinged thoughts associated with the visit. It really was
   1.284 +great to see her. There was the same sparkle in Sakura’s emerald eyes
   1.285 +that had always sent a thrill through her heart and the same smile
   1.286 +that always warmed her. Tomoyo giggled softly and tilted her head to
   1.287 +the side. “No matter how much you change, you’re still my cute Sakura-
   1.288 +chan.”
   1.289 +	Accepting the proffered seat, Sakura looked back at Tomoyo
   1.290 +thoughtfully. She was glad that Tomoyo was awake. It was much better
   1.291 +than just catching a glimpse of her sleeping friend. Tomoyo’s musical
   1.292 +voice and the  sweet things she said still embarrassed her at times,
   1.293 +but she was happy to hear them. For so long she had been missing
   1.294 +those little remarks of Tomoyo’s, reading them over and over in her
   1.295 +letters and waiting for every Sunday to hear her on the phone. It
   1.296 +really did make her feel good inside. “I hope I can always be your
   1.297 +cute Sakura-chan,” she replied, blushing slightly. Tomoyo always had
   1.298 +a way of getting to her that way. 
   1.299 +	“You will. Because I’ll always have my memories of you. And I have
   1.300 +a lot of it down on videotape, captured moments of your youth ready
   1.301 +to be watched again and again and again as I reminisce about my days
   1.302 +with Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo explained, still smiling sweetly. Her
   1.303 +clasped hands were in her lap. She had always known that one day
   1.304 +Sakura would have to leave her and that she would be left with
   1.305 +nothing but her memories. So she had videotaped everything she could,
   1.306 +wanting to capture as much of Sakura as she could. There was so much
   1.307 +more to the brunette, but all she had was a library of videotape now
   1.308 +that Sakura was in Hong Kong. And she was glad for it. Now that she
   1.309 +couldn’t spend time with Sakura anymore outside this little trip, the
   1.310 +videos were all she had left. There would be no more new moments with
   1.311 +her, no more happy times spent together. But all of the old ones were
   1.312 +ready for her to replay when she was lonely or to watch through when
   1.313 +she was sad. 
   1.314 +	Sakura reached out slowly, her fingers gently brushing through
   1.315 +Tomoyo’s long lavender hair. She had let it grow from the last time
   1.316 +Sakura had seen her, now reaching well past her waist. She always had
   1.317 +the most gorgeous hair, trying it in all sorts of styles. It was
   1.318 +always a wonder to Sakura how she managed to be so creative with it.
   1.319 +The soft hair felt wonderful underneath her fingers. “Umm... Tomoyo-
   1.320 +chan? Would you mind if I fixed your hair again? Like when we were
   1.321 +younger?” Sakura sweatdropped a bit and looked down. She felt
   1.322 +childish for asking such a thing. Tomoyo was a full grown woman now,
   1.323 +no longer the delicate child she remembered. It seemed awkward to be
   1.324 +asking it, but after the dream she had, she longed for the old days.
   1.325 +Tomoyo’s captivating smile dissipated her worries.
   1.326 +	Tomoyo’s heart had stopped when Sakura’s fingers began playing with
   1.327 +her hair. Sakura’s magic touch entranced her more than any of her
   1.328 +Cards could. It took her a moment to reply to Sakura’s request for
   1.329 +fear of reacting at all and breaking the moment. “I’d like that very
   1.330 +much, Sakura-chan. I always loved when you would be the one to fix my
   1.331 +hair.” Her voice had almost gotten caught in her throat, her cheeks
   1.332 +darkening slightly as Sakura’s fingers continued through her hair.
   1.333 +Oh, it was perfect! Her hands were so gentle as they continued on
   1.334 +their path. Tomoyo felt so peaceful, so complete inside. Yes, this
   1.335 +was love. Having her hair fixed by Sakura. Even if it was just
   1.336 +reliving old times for Sakura, she would play this over and over
   1.337 +again in her mind for years to come. For a brief moment, she could
   1.338 +even pretend this was the way things were. That after a long day at
   1.339 +work, she had come home to her dearest Sakura and that she had
   1.340 +offered to fix her hair for her, lovingly teasing with her fingers.
   1.341 +Even if the illusion didn’t last long, the warm feelings in her heart
   1.342 +grew considerably. If this was to be her last visit with Sakura, it
   1.343 +certainly was turning out well at this rate.
   1.344 +	Giggling happily, Sakura crawled up onto the bed behind Tomoyo, her
   1.345 +fingers still running through the lavender trusses. “Arigato, Tomoyo-
   1.346 +chan! It’s kind of like with Hanako-chan. Whenever I fix her hair, I
   1.347 +think about you. It was always so beautiful, no matter what style you
   1.348 +had it in.” For a brief moment, the woman in front of her was a
   1.349 +blushing girl of ten again, sitting in barely hidden anticipation.
   1.350 +Sakura shook the mental image off, but she smiled in spite of
   1.351 +herself. Gathering up Tomoyo’s hair, she looked at it thoughtfully.
   1.352 +Tomoyo scarcely moved an inch aside from a blissful sigh. Nodding to
   1.353 +herself, Sakura began braiding Tomoyo’s hair, enjoying the feel of
   1.354 +the silky strands between her fingers. For the moment, her only
   1.355 +concern was how to fix Tomoyo’s hair. And she found that simple task
   1.356 +relaxed her in ways that she hadn’t been able to in months. The sweet
   1.357 +scent of Tomoyo’s lavender hair was lovely. She leaned closer,
   1.358 +burying her face into the hair for a moment. It really was wonderful.
   1.359 +Just like Tomoyo, it was sweet and calming. She couldn’t see the
   1.360 +deepening blush on Tomoyo’s pale cheeks as she finally continued
   1.361 +braiding. 
   1.362 +	“I have some ribbons if you would like to use them, Sakura-chan,”
   1.363 +Tomoyo offered helpfully, scooting back so that she could be closer
   1.364 +to the Cardmistress. This had to be a glimpse of what Heaven was
   1.365 +like. Her heart skipped a beat as Sakura’s fingers brushed some hair
   1.366 +past her shoulder, the fingers lingering there for a brief second
   1.367 +before moving on. If only this one moment could last for an eternity.
   1.368 +Her heart sang out to Sakura, reaching out for her, bursting with her
   1.369 +love for the brunette. But she sat still as Sakura’s fingers fixed
   1.370 +her hair, content in this moment. ‘I love you, Sakura-chan. And
   1.371 +moments like these just remind me of how eternally grateful I am to
   1.372 +have met you,’ she thought to herself. 
   1.373 +	“Oh, right! Those ones you bought during the shopping trip. They
   1.374 +should be around here somewhere.” Sakura looked around thoughtfully
   1.375 +before Tomoyo handed a bag to Sakura. Inside were several deep green
   1.376 +silk ribbons. She ran her fingers over them as she pulled them out,
   1.377 +looking back at Tomoyo’s hair for where to place them. They were
   1.378 +beautiful and soft to the touch, but she found herself enjoying the
   1.379 +feeling of Tomoyo’s hair much more. Her fingers went back to work,
   1.380 +tying them in with careful movements. “You look so pretty, Tomoyo-
   1.381 +chan.”
   1.382 +	Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes fluttered open slowly, smiling happily.
   1.383 +The past few months seemed insignificant and far away. They didn’t
   1.384 +matter. All that mattered was this moment alone with Sakura. It was
   1.385 +perfect. “Thank you so much, Sakura-chan. You don’t know how happy
   1.386 +that makes me. Being here with you like this, hearing your voice and
   1.387 +knowing you’re right here with me, I don’t think I could be happier.
   1.388 +I’m so lucky to be here with you. I’ll always remember this trip,”
   1.389 +she said cheerfully. 
   1.390 +	Sakura giggled. She could almost see the stars in Tomoyo’s eyes. It
   1.391 +was just the way she remembered her. This trip had been exactly what
   1.392 +she needed. She didn’t feel so lonely or out of place anymore now
   1.393 +that Tomoyo was back with her. Her heart swelled to hear the sweet
   1.394 +remarks Tomoyo always showered her with. Their time together had
   1.395 +always been important to her, but it wasn’t until recently that she
   1.396 +had realized just how important. Not having Tomoyo with her was like
   1.397 +losing a part of herself. She didn’t feel as confident or as sure
   1.398 +about herself without the dark haired woman’s love and support.  Now
   1.399 +that the heiress was here, she felt even more sure of it. That’s what
   1.400 +had been missing in her life since she had moved to Hong Kong. But it
   1.401 +confused her because she didn’t quite understand what it was that she
   1.402 +had been missing. She missed Touya and her father, too, but it wasn’t
   1.403 +the same. She knew that was just homesickness, but this... This she
   1.404 +wasn’t so sure of. Tomoyo had been her best friend for so long and
   1.405 +she’d always made her feel like everything would turn out for the
   1.406 +best, that life really was an exciting and wonderful journey. And
   1.407 +with Tomoyo by her side, it always had been. Now she was continuing
   1.408 +that journey without Tomoyo, but with her husband by her side. That
   1.409 +thought hurt her. Because she missed the pale woman’s impact on her
   1.410 +life. The way she was always there for her no matter her problems or
   1.411 +what was going on in. The way she made her feel so warm and special.
   1.412 +The way she gave her all of her attention even if she didn’t need it.
   1.413 +But it didn’t make sense. She had her husband now and a new life.
   1.414 +Tomoyo was very important to her, but her priority now was her
   1.415 +husband and her new family. “I’m really happy to have you here, too,
   1.416 +Tomoyo-chan.”
   1.417 +	Tomoyo sensed the uneasiness in Sakura’s voice, as if she was
   1.418 +confused about something. She had heard that tone in her so often
   1.419 +before, on the phone or when they were together. It was usually when
   1.420 +Sakura was trying to understand something, to make sense out of
   1.421 +things with her innocent determination. Tomoyo leaned back against
   1.422 +her, her bare feet touching Sakura’s knees. Sakura’s fingers paused
   1.423 +for a brief moment before returning to the task of braiding her hair.
   1.424 +“Sakura-chan, you’re happy here in your new life, aren’t you?” her
   1.425 +musical voice asked softly.
   1.426 +	“Hmm?” Sakura asked distractedly. It took her a moment to shake off
   1.427 +her thoughts and return to the here and now. It had been so hypnotic,
   1.428 +the action of fixing Tomoyo’s hair, the wonderful scent, the warmth
   1.429 +in her heart at being here with her best friend. She had gotten
   1.430 +caught up in her thoughts. A smile crossed her lips. She didn’t even
   1.431 +have to think about that one. What a silly question! “Of course I am,
   1.432 +Tomoyo-chan. I’m very happy here. Syaoran-chan’s sisters are all very
   1.433 +nice and I finally get to be with my husband. It’s wonderful here.
   1.434 +The city’s beautiful. Though sometimes I get a little homesick. And I
   1.435 +really don’t think Ieran-sama likes me very much. And I really do
   1.436 +miss you a lot, Tomoyo-chan.” Her fingers grasped more of Tomoyo’s
   1.437 +hair as she leaned closer to the dark haired woman. Letters and phone
   1.438 +calls just weren’t a good enough substitute for actually being with
   1.439 +her best friend. She brushed past Tomoyo’s neck, playing with the
   1.440 +silky strands in her grasp. 
   1.441 +	“I’ll always be there for you, Sakura-chan. For as long as you need
   1.442 +me. So please don’t feel lonely. It makes me feel sad that I would
   1.443 +lessen your happiness here in your new life. You have so much here to
   1.444 +be happy about. You have Li-kun now to make you happy. You don’t ever
   1.445 +have to feel lonely because my heart is always with you. My thoughts
   1.446 +are always filled with you.” Tomoyo was sure glad that Sakura
   1.447 +couldn’t see her face because she barely had the will to put up her
   1.448 +mask this time. Her stormy blue eyes were downcast, looking at the
   1.449 +clasped hands in her lap. She was glad that Sakura missed her, but it
   1.450 +just made it hurt all the more that she would have to fade out of her
   1.451 +life. She no longer had a part in Sakura’s life and she was trying to
   1.452 +come to grips with that. Sakura was happy in her new life. She didn’t
   1.453 +need Tomoyo anymore.
   1.454 +	Frowning, Sakura shook her head. She felt a little frightened at
   1.455 +the way Tomoyo put that. It was as if Tomoyo thought that there would
   1.456 +come a time when she wouldn’t need her anymore. “But I’ll always need
   1.457 +you, Tomoyo-chan. You’re my best friend. You always help me so much.”
   1.458 +Her arms wrapped around her second cousin’s waist, pulling her into a
   1.459 +warm hug. She felt Tomoyo relax slowly into it. Sakura let her eyes
   1.460 +fall closed, trying to understand the tumultuous feelings inside of
   1.461 +her. Part of her wanted to break down and cry and to ask Tomoyo never
   1.462 +to leave her side again while the other part knew that she had to let
   1.463 +her go when the time came. Their lives were going down different
   1.464 +paths now. She held Tomoyo tighter, unsure of what to say. 
   1.465 +	Tomoyo let her eyes fall closed as she leaned back into Sakura’s
   1.466 +embrace. She felt safe in Sakura’s arms, like nothing could come to
   1.467 +pull her away. This was where she wanted to be, more than anywhere
   1.468 +else in the world. But she knew that Sakura was wrong. One day, the
   1.469 +brunette would no longer need her anymore. And she would silently
   1.470 +fade from her life, until all that was left was a memory. The thought
   1.471 +felt like a jagged icicle through her heart, but her love for Sakura
   1.472 +slowly melted it. She had to. For Sakura’s sake. All she could do was
   1.473 +love her from afar. “Arigato gozimasu, Sakura-chan,” she whispered
   1.474 +softly, forgetting her worries as she lost herself in Sakura’s arms.
   1.475 +Out of all of their contact, holding hands and even Sakura fixing her
   1.476 +hair, what she loved the most was when Sakura would hug her. Her
   1.477 +gentle yet strong arms always gripped her so warmly, even when Sakura
   1.478 +would hug her seeking comfort. It was a wonderful sensation, being
   1.479 +able to get so close to Sakura, to feel her heart beating against
   1.480 +her. It was times like this that she almost feared her own heart
   1.481 +would give her away as it pounded in her chest. 
   1.482 +	Resting her head against Tomoyo’s back, Sakura’s cheek pressed
   1.483 +against the silky hair that fell past Tomoyo’s shoulders. It tickled
   1.484 +her cheek , causing her to shift more against the fragile woman in
   1.485 +her arms. The rest of the world seemed far away whenever they hugged,
   1.486 +gaining in distance for as long as they did. Her husband wasn’t much
   1.487 +for emotional displays, but she knew that Tomoyo would always shower
   1.488 +her with warmth, comfort, support, and love. Her soul always felt so
   1.489 +soothed when they were together, like Tomoyo’s gentle fingers were
   1.490 +stroking through her soul, making everything all right. She really
   1.491 +couldn't ask for a better best friend. Pulling Tomoyo closer, her
   1.492 +mind spun. There was so much she wanted to say to her, so much she
   1.493 +wanted to do, but she couldn’t make sense of any of it. She couldn’t
   1.494 +phrase any of what she wanted to say. It felt like it was all pure
   1.495 +emotion, swirling in her heart. For a moment, she forgot where she
   1.496 +was. The feelings inside her were so strong, urging to be let out.
   1.497 +Tomoyo’s soft hair against her, the rhythmic movement of her
   1.498 +breathing, the scent of her hair and the delightful little movements
   1.499 +she made all made her feel so... hanyaan. Her eyes blinked rapidly a
   1.500 +few times as she tried to sort out the thoughts that were attached to
   1.501 +that. “I.. umm... Tomoyo-chan, would you like to go out to the
   1.502 +garden? It’s really nice at night,” she asked quietly after a moment.
   1.503 +She felt Tomoyo’s hair brush against her as the dark haired woman
   1.504 +nodded.
   1.505 +	“Hai, I’d like that, Sakura-chan. I’m sure it’s gorgeous,” Tomoyo
   1.506 +said sweetly. She made no attempt to move, remaining in Sakura’s
   1.507 +embrace for several long seconds until the brunette finally pulled
   1.508 +away and slipped off the bed. Her stormy blue eyes followed Sakura’s
   1.509 +movements, brimming with love for the Cardmistress. Sakura blushed a
   1.510 +bit at the look in her eyes and looked away. Tomoyo smiled gingerly
   1.511 +and took Sakura’s hand after joining her near the doorway. She held
   1.512 +it between both of her own hands for a minute, savoring the feeling.
   1.513 +Her fingers slowly intertwined with Sakura’s. Of course, she would go
   1.514 +anywhere with Sakura. She was far more gorgeous than any garden could
   1.515 +ever be. But if Sakura wanted to see the flowers, she would be happy
   1.516 +to watch her Sakura. 
   1.517 +
   1.518 +	The two women tiptoed outside, not wanting to wake any of the
   1.519 +occupants in the large mansion as they made their way outside. The
   1.520 +beautiful moonshine cast them both in a dim glow as they stepped out
   1.521 +into the garden. The garden itself was stunning, as befitting the
   1.522 +House of Li. A large fountain sat in the center, water cascading down
   1.523 +into it like a tropical waterfall. Wonderfully scented exotic flowers
   1.524 +were placed all around the spacious garden, making it seem like a
   1.525 +magical place in the moonlight. The sight reminded Tomoyo of helping
   1.526 +to pick out the flowers for her mother’s garden back home and felt a
   1.527 +sliver of homesickness wash over her at the thought. But her mother
   1.528 +was probably fine. Sonomi always managed to handle things. “It’s very
   1.529 +pretty Sakura-chan. Do you come out here often?”
   1.530 +	Sakura nodded, smiling over at the pale woman. She seemed to
   1.531 +shimmer in the moonlight, convincing Sakura even further that her
   1.532 +best friend had to be some angelic visitor. “Sometimes. I like to
   1.533 +come out here when I have the time. It kind of reminds me of when we
   1.534 +all used to go for picnics in the park. It’s not a lot like the park
   1.535 +but it’s just really nice out here.” Her emerald eyes flashed for a
   1.536 +second as they reflected the moonlight before falling closed. It was
   1.537 +still warm out, despite a slight breeze and she found the peaceful
   1.538 +serenity of the garden to be overwhelming. 
   1.539 +	Giggling softly, Tomoyo brought her free hand up to her cheek. “You
   1.540 +look so cute when you’re being nostalgic. I should loan you some of
   1.541 +my videos and watch you watching them.” Had they been apart at all?
   1.542 +It felt like they had been back home in Tomoeda just the day before,
   1.543 +like they had never been apart in the first place. It felt so nice to
   1.544 +be together again. Tomoyo had to remind herself to be careful. Sakura
   1.545 +was a married woman now. And this visit would probably be their last
   1.546 +time together. So she had to keep her displays in check. She couldn’t
   1.547 +just pour out her feelings for Sakura the way she used to. 
   1.548 +	Blushing despite Tomoyo’s attempt at controlling her usual
   1.549 +energetic love of Sakura, Sakura looked back at her old friend. “As
   1.550 +long as you keep sending the cooking videos. They’ve been a great
   1.551 +help. It feels like you’re right there with me when I’m watching
   1.552 +them. And it’s great to be able to see you after reading your
   1.553 +letters. I miss you so much sometimes that I can sit and watch them
   1.554 +over and over. You always look so pretty in them. Each time I see
   1.555 +them, it’s breathtaking.”
   1.556 +	Tomoyo looked back at Sakura, her stormy blue eyes, looking deep
   1.557 +into her in the cool night air. Her soul sang out to her, but she
   1.558 +knew it went unanswered. She wanted so much to tell her how she felt,
   1.559 +to let her know how much that meant to her. That she dressed as
   1.560 +prettily as she could for Sakura in her videos. That she wanted to be
   1.561 +there with her while she was cooking. That she longed for her with
   1.562 +all her heart and soul. But all she could do was smile. “Thank you
   1.563 +very much, Sakura-chan. That makes me very happy.” The two walked in
   1.564 +silence for a moment as Tomoyo tried desperately to get a hold of the
   1.565 +runaway feelings burgeoning inside of her. Sakura was everything to
   1.566 +her, but she couldn’t let out her feelings. She had to keep them
   1.567 +locked up in her heart. Sakura had the key, but Tomoyo couldn’t tell
   1.568 +her. Sakura could never use the key. Her own heart already belonged
   1.569 +to another. So Tomoyo continued to smile, wanting so much to lose
   1.570 +herself once more in Sakura’s arms. 
   1.571 +	Sighing softly, Sakura fidgeted, trying to force her thoughts into
   1.572 +coherency. She wouldn’t have the lavender haired woman in Hong Kong
   1.573 +much longer and there was still so much left unsaid. But try as she
   1.574 +might, her feelings refused to clarify themselves to her. It was
   1.575 +frustrating, being here with her best friend and unable to voice the
   1.576 +emotions that were playing with her. Tomoyo slowly sat down on a
   1.577 +bench near the fountain, drawing Sakura down next to her. Sakura
   1.578 +looked into the stormy blue eyes greeting her and quickly looked
   1.579 +away. She couldn’t meet them. They held so much within their depths
   1.580 +that it almost scared her. It was like they could see deep inside of
   1.581 +her, at the feelings that even she couldn’t understand. And yet they
   1.582 +were extremely warm and gentle, filling her with strength. But they
   1.583 +held a touch of pain in them that she had never noticed in Tomoyo
   1.584 +before. It brought a dark cloud over her heart. What could hurt her
   1.585 +like that? Behind Tomoyo’s smile, there was something exquisitely
   1.586 +painful dwelling in her heart. Now that she looked closer, the
   1.587 +smiling stormy blue eyes had cracks in them, painful shards that only
   1.588 +hinted at the torment of the girl they belonged to. Which all served
   1.589 +to confuse Sakura even more. “Tomoyo-chan, are you still happy with
   1.590 +your decision? With not telling the person you like? I mean, when you
   1.591 +told me about it, I was so sure that you were right. That the person
   1.592 +you liked must be really happy so that should make you happy. But
   1.593 +now...” She took a breath, looking up to gaze directly into Tomoyo’s
   1.594 +eyes. “Tomoyo-chan, I’m not sure anymore. It can’t be right. You said
   1.595 +you would be happy about it, but you never said anything about it
   1.596 +hurting you. I should have known earlier. But you must be so lonely,
   1.597 +watching your special someone happy with someone else. It’s not fair.
   1.598 +You can’t be alone. You just can’t. You’re too important to me to be
   1.599 +alone forever. I can’t let you. You will have your wedding. I
   1.600 +promise. Because it’s too sad if Tomoyo-chan never gets to be a
   1.601 +blushing bride.” She shook her head, trying to focus through her
   1.602 +tears. She hadn’t even noticed them until then. Her heart broke at
   1.603 +the look in Tomoyo’s blue eyes. She looked scared and hurt, the mask
   1.604 +that had been covering them slipping off. For a brief second, Sakura
   1.605 +could see the true extent of the pain that Tomoyo was in. It ran deep
   1.606 +through her soul, like a deep ravine. She was colder and more alone
   1.607 +than Sakura could ever truly realize. But before she could comment,
   1.608 +it was covered up as if it had never been there at all. And Tomoyo
   1.609 +was smiling again.
   1.610 +	“You’re so sweet, Sakura-chan. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful
   1.611 +best friend. I’m glad you’re worried, but you really shouldn’t be,”
   1.612 +Tomoyo said softly, her delicate fingers brushing away Sakura’s
   1.613 +tears. The brunette looked on in confusion. Had it just been the
   1.614 +lighting? Tomoyo seemed completely fine now. Her smile still strong
   1.615 +and bright, her eyes covering over the cracks she had seen in
   1.616 +Tomoyo’s soul. Had she been mistaken? “I’m sure. I would live my
   1.617 +whole life alone if it would make my special person happy. When you
   1.618 +love someone enough that their own happiness means so much more to
   1.619 +you than your own, then you know that it truly is love. I know I love
   1.620 +my special person with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for
   1.621 +them. I would be happy to be with them, but if I can’t make them
   1.622 +happy, doesn’t it make sense that they should be with whoever can
   1.623 +make them happy? It would be selfish to try to keep them all to
   1.624 +myself. I won’t weigh them down. For me, it’s a joy to see them
   1.625 +soaring in the air, happy and free. I could never deprive them of
   1.626 +their happiness. So in a way, I am making them happy. And that brings
   1.627 +a song to my heart. If I could keep them all to myself or give them
   1.628 +up to be with whoever would make them happy, I would let them go.
   1.629 +Because I love her so much that I would do anything, sacrifice
   1.630 +anything, to make sure that she lives a happy life. And if I can’t be
   1.631 +a part of it, then that’s okay. Because my heart will always belong
   1.632 +to my special person.” The sweet musical voice had begun to falter
   1.633 +near the end, her stormy blue eyes shimmering wetly in the moonlight,
   1.634 +yet her smile remained constant. They remained focussed on Sakura’s
   1.635 +emerald orbs, as if whispering ‘I love you’. 
   1.636 +	“But Tomoyo-chan, doesn’t it feel lonely that way? Don’t you feel
   1.637 +sad?” Sakura asked, grabbing Tomoyo’s hands with her own. She had to
   1.638 +know. She knew that she couldn’t do the same thing if she were in
   1.639 +Tomoyo’s position. It sounded too painful, too sad. How could she be
   1.640 +happy like that?
   1.641 +	Tomoyo nodded slowly, the wind playing with her long hair. “Hai, it
   1.642 +can get lonely sometimes. And I do feel sad, too. But Sakura-chan,
   1.643 +you have to understand. Sometimes you love something so much that you
   1.644 +have to set it free. Like a child. You love your child so much but
   1.645 +one day they have to leave you. But you love them so much that you
   1.646 +have to let them. I love my special person with all my heart. But I
   1.647 +can’t hold on because I can’t interfere with their happiness. So I
   1.648 +have to let them go out and live their own beautiful life. Because I
   1.649 +love them.”
   1.650 +	Shaking her head, Sakura held onto Tomoyo’s hands tightly. What
   1.651 +Tomoyo said was sounding suspiciously familiar with what she had
   1.652 +often said about Sakura herself. “I still don’t understand. It’s just
   1.653 +too sad. I don’t see why you can’t make your special person happy.
   1.654 +Anyone would be lucky to have you, Tomoyo-chan. It’s not right for
   1.655 +you to be alone like this. I don’t want you to be alone. You make me
   1.656 +so happy that I can’t imagine any man who's heart you couldn't win.
   1.657 +Seeing you alone hurts me, Tomoyo-chan.”
   1.658 +	Biting back tears, Tomoyo tried in vain to hold herself together.
   1.659 +“No, please don’t say that, Sakura-chan. It shouldn’t make you sad.
   1.660 +I’m fine. I’ll always be fine as long as my special person is happy.
   1.661 +Please, Sakura-chan... I have to be alone. My special person already
   1.662 +has someone. They’re already happy. I can’t interfere with that. And
   1.663 +I wouldn’t. I need you to be happy, Sakura-chan. Please be happy or
   1.664 +it’s all been for nothing. I know I can’t have my special person.
   1.665 +I’ve known that for years. But I can’t stop loving them because my
   1.666 +heart belongs to them, even if they’ll never know. You have to be
   1.667 +happy for me, Sakura-chan. I don’t think I can hold on if you take
   1.668 +that away from me.” Her voice was strained, tears streaking her pale
   1.669 +cheeks. Her mother had warned her about this trip and now she wished
   1.670 +she had agreed to call it off. Sonomi had been through the same
   1.671 +thing, after all. But she had thought that she had to come. Her
   1.672 +carefully orchestrated masks had finally proven worthless,
   1.673 +splintering into pieces at Sakura’s words. It was a paradox that
   1.674 +Sakura couldn’t see. She loved Sakura, but Sakura couldn’t love her.
   1.675 +And Sakura wanted her to be with her true love so that she could be
   1.676 +happy. Which brought her back to the beginning, where Sakura couldn’t
   1.677 +love her. It would ruin everything. But she couldn’t explain it to
   1.678 +Sakura, couldn’t make her realize that she had to be happy for her
   1.679 +even if she was alone. She dimly felt Sakura pulling her into her
   1.680 +arms, holding onto her dearly. Tomoyo let herself collapse in
   1.681 +Sakura’s embrace. She had tried so hard to keep her pain hidden from
   1.682 +Sakura for all these years but the past few moments had ruined all of
   1.683 +it. 
   1.684 +	Sakura was amazed at the sudden change in Tomoyo’s behavior, from
   1.685 +smiling and calm to wracked with sobs. So she hadn’t been mistaken
   1.686 +after all. She stroked Tomoyo’s back gently, the same way Tomoyo used
   1.687 +to whenever she would cry in her arms. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan,” she
   1.688 +whispered softly. The dark haired woman was more hurt by her special
   1.689 +person than she had ever let on. Sakura’s heart felt ready to break
   1.690 +as she pulled her pale best friend closer. She didn’t know what to
   1.691 +say. But a new resolve grew within her. She would find a way to make
   1.692 +Tomoyo happy. Somehow. She couldn’t let Tomoyo stay in so much pain. 
   1.693 +	The two woman stayed that way for a long time. Neither were sure of
   1.694 +how much time had finally passed when Tomoyo stopped crying on
   1.695 +Sakura’s shoulder. “Gomen nasai, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said weakly.
   1.696 +“I’ve been so tired lately with working on Hanako-chan and all and I
   1.697 +haven’t really slept much since I got here.” She felt horrible. How
   1.698 +much damage had she caused? She had never meant for Sakura to see her
   1.699 +like that. Crying like that, thinking that way was only for when she
   1.700 +was all alone. She never wanted to hurt Sakura, especially with the
   1.701 +burden of her own terrible loneliness. And what if this spurred her
   1.702 +on to find out who her special person was? A shiver went through her
   1.703 +body at the thought. It suddenly felt very cold.
   1.704 +	Smiling softly, Sakura shook her head. “No, it’s okay, Tomoyo-chan.
   1.705 +I’m glad. I really don’t think I’ve seen you cry often. I’m your best
   1.706 +friend. I want to help you. And if you feel bad about this, then I
   1.707 +want to know about it.”
   1.708 +	Resting her head against Sakura’s shoulder, Tomoyo tried to calm
   1.709 +herself. In Sakura’s embrace, she found it remarkably easy to do.
   1.710 +“No, I don’t feel bad about it, Sakura-chan. Sometimes I just wish
   1.711 +that I could be with my special person. But I know it can’t be. I
   1.712 +hope you understand. It truly does mean everything to me that they’re
   1.713 +happy. I love them dearly and to see them delighted means that I’ve
   1.714 +helped to make sure that their life will be a joyous one. It hurts
   1.715 +sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And being with you
   1.716 +makes me happy, Sakura-chan. In your arms, I feel like it’s all
   1.717 +perfectly fine. Being with Sakura-chan makes it all worthwhile.” She
   1.718 +sighed softly, her nose brushing past Sakura’s neck. “I’m so happy to
   1.719 +be with you, I don’t need anything else. Hearing your warm, joyous
   1.720 +heartbeat makes my heart want to beat in rhythm with it.” Her eyes
   1.721 +closed as she held onto Sakura. “Treasured moments like these
   1.722 +reassure me that what I did was the right thing. Because I know that
   1.723 +I had to make sure my true love was the happiest.”
   1.724 +	Sakura sat in silence, feeling the rise and fall of Tomoyo’s
   1.725 +breathing. Her own eyes were closed, listening to the toy designer’s
   1.726 +beautiful voice. “Tomoyo-chan,” the brunette finally spoke at last.
   1.727 +“I don’t ever want you to go. I want to be with you always. I want to
   1.728 +know that my best friend is always close by when I need her. I do
   1.729 +need you. You act like one day I’ll just stop needing you and that’s
   1.730 +not true at all. Tomoyo-chan, I can’t imagine life without you. From
   1.731 +the day we’ve met, you’ve always been so wonderful to me. And I want
   1.732 +you to have the same happiness I have. I want you to be married and
   1.733 +happy.”
   1.734 +	Giggling softly, Tomoyo sat up against Sakura, looking into her
   1.735 +jade eyes. “But Sakura-chan, I am happy. You make me happy. All of
   1.736 +the time I’ve spent with you, all of the memories you have given me,
   1.737 +I treasure them close to my heart.” Taking Sakura’s hand, she placed
   1.738 +it gently over her heart, which was still beating rapidly. “You’re
   1.739 +why I know that I can do this. Because you make me so happy that I
   1.740 +know it’s worth making my special person as happy as they can be,
   1.741 +even if we can’t be together. Seeing you smile, hearing about you
   1.742 +being in love with your new husband, it all makes me think ‘Sakura-
   1.743 +chan is so happy. I know that no matter what happens, Sakura-chan
   1.744 +will live a wonderful life’. Everything has a price, Sakura-chan. But
   1.745 +I know that my special person’s happiness is worth any sacrifice. I
   1.746 +would do anything for them. Because I love them so much that I want
   1.747 +to give them all of the happiness of the world. And if I can’t give
   1.748 +it to them, at least I know someone else can.” Her stormy blue eyes
   1.749 +never left Sakura’s, her heart still pounding against Sakura’s palm.
   1.750 +	Blushing deeply, Sakura nodded slowly. “But still... I.. I want to
   1.751 +make you happy, Tomoyo-chan. I want to..” She trailed off, unsure of
   1.752 +what she wanted to say. It almost sounded like Tomoyo was talking
   1.753 +about her. But that was silly. How could she be Tomoyo’s special
   1.754 +person? “If I was your special person,” she began softly, the blush
   1.755 +tinting her cheeks crimson, “I would want so much to make my Tomoyo-
   1.756 +chan the happiest person in the world.” Glistening like an angel in
   1.757 +the pale light, Sakura was rewarded with a genuine smile from Tomoyo.
   1.758 +She was gorgeous, her heart so earnest with the happiness of her true
   1.759 +love. It was awe-inspiring. Tomoyo had such a loving soul that it
   1.760 +surprised Sakura sometimes with the strength of the love Tomoyo could
   1.761 +pour out. That, too, was something she had missed.
   1.762 +	“Then Sakura-chan understands,” Tomoyo said quietly, her eyes
   1.763 +finally closing. She felt relief wash through her at that. Sakura
   1.764 +finally understood. After all this time. She didn’t let go of
   1.765 +Sakura’s hand at first, still holding it to her heart, wanting to
   1.766 +convey that the beating was for her alone. When she finally let go,
   1.767 +Sakura’s hand stayed on it’s own. Her stormy blue eyes opened to
   1.768 +Sakura’s still looking into their depths. 
   1.769 +	“You’re heart’s beating so fast,” Sakura whispered after a moment.
   1.770 +Her feelings weren’t confusing her so much anymore. She did
   1.771 +understand, like Tomoyo had said. So that was true love, wanting more
   1.772 +than anything for your true love to be happy. Loving them so much
   1.773 +that your heart would always belong to them. When she thought about
   1.774 +it that way, it did make sense. Her emotions slowed in their swirl in
   1.775 +her heart. 
   1.776 +	Tomoyo smiled softly, holding Sakura’s gaze. “It’s because I’m very
   1.777 +happy right now. I love being here with you, Sakura-chan. You make my
   1.778 +heart pound in joy. Sakura-chan’s cute, genki spirit fills me with
   1.779 +energy. So much energy that it doesn’t know where to go and it gets
   1.780 +all trapped inside. It’s saying Sa Ku Ra. Sa Ku Ra.” She knew that
   1.781 +this type of thing was exactly what she had planned on holding back
   1.782 +from during her trip, but she couldn’t help herself. Sakura’s
   1.783 +presence warmed her heart, filling up the emptiness that had existed
   1.784 +within her while they were apart. Living without Sakura was
   1.785 +infinitely more painful than she had originally thought. 
   1.786 +	“Tomoyo-chan.” Sakura couldn’t look away, her eyes focussed on the
   1.787 +brilliant blue orbs in front of her. The pale woman’s essence seemed
   1.788 +to wrap itself around her heart, pulling her closer. “Tomoyo-chan,
   1.789 +you make me happy, too,” she finally got out, barely above a whisper.
   1.790 +“You make me feel so special. You make me feel... loved.” That
   1.791 +realization hit her with a sudden impact. Tomoyo did make her feel
   1.792 +all those things and more. She filled her up with all sorts of warm
   1.793 +feelings inside. 
   1.794 +	“That’s all I want, Sakura-chan. I want you to be happy,” Tomoyo
   1.795 +whispered softly, leaning nearer to Sakura. Her fingers lightly
   1.796 +brushed through Sakura’s considerably shorter hair. 
   1.797 +Sakura rested her head against Tomoyo’s hand, her eyes half closed
   1.798 +as she tried to make sense out of the sudden realizations. Her mind
   1.799 +was having a difficult time following as Tomoyo drew ever nearer. It
   1.800 +took a moment for her to notice that she was leaning closer as well.
   1.801 +Once again, it seemed like pure emotions were driving her. For a
   1.802 +brief moment, it didn’t matter if any of it made sense. It just was.
   1.803 +“Tomoyo-chan,” she got out silently. The two were finally inches
   1.804 +apart. She could feel Tomoyo’s soft breath against her. She really
   1.805 +was stunningly gorgeous. She had known that for a long time, but she
   1.806 +had never quite seen her in this light. 
   1.807 +Watching Sakura’s bright emerald eyes, Tomoyo could see the same
   1.808 +shining determination that had always captivated her about them.
   1.809 +Their glimmer seemed to draw her forward. Sakura had grown into such
   1.810 +a pretty young woman, always managing to draw Tomoyo’s attention. She
   1.811 +was still amazingly cute, but she had gained a very pretty look to
   1.812 +her as well. Tomoyo had begun mentioning that as well over recent
   1.813 +years, whereas when they had been younger she had always embarrassed
   1.814 +Sakura about how cute she was. But right now she was content to bathe
   1.815 +in that beauty, in the shining light from Sakura’s heart that she
   1.816 +could feel radiating from her. Tomoyo’s masks were broken for the
   1.817 +time being, left behind. She couldn’t hide the glimmer of her own
   1.818 +heart. It was impossible to keep it back, nearly blinding her with
   1.819 +the love she felt for the woman in front of her. Sakura’s own heart
   1.820 +was beating furiously against her as she drew the brunette closer in
   1.821 +her arms. “Sakura-chan.” Sakura was her entire world. Nothing existed
   1.822 +beyond the pretty Cardmistress. Her fingers played across Sakura’s
   1.823 +ear. She had always found her ears incredibly cute when they were
   1.824 +younger. She still did. Everything about her was perfect. Tomoyo
   1.825 +loved all of her, even her flaws, the few she had. They were all part
   1.826 +of what made her love Sakura so dearly. The few inches between them
   1.827 +beckoned, Sakura’s lips seeming ever closer. Before she quite knew
   1.828 +what had happened, her lips brushed lightly against Sakura’s. To her
   1.829 +surprise, Sakura didn’t move back in the slightest. In fact, Sakura
   1.830 +moved closer to her dark haired best friend, her lips pressing back
   1.831 +against Tomoyo’s. Sakura’s eyes fell closed, but Tomoyo’s remained
   1.832 +open, wanting to see Sakura the entire time. Dream or not, this
   1.833 +moment would forever remain in her heart. 
   1.834 +Sakura blushed feverishly as she felt herself returning Tomoyo’s
   1.835 +kiss. Tomoyo's lips were petal soft and inviting, drowning out all
   1.836 +conscious thought from Sakura. Her hands rested at the small of
   1.837 +Tomoyo’s back as the eccentric heiress’s fingers kept playing with
   1.838 +her hair. This felt perfect. Her entire body and soul ached for
   1.839 +Tomoyo. She could feel her heart going out to the dark haired woman,
   1.840 +begging for her warmth and love. And Tomoyo happily gave that with
   1.841 +all that she was. Tomoyo’s tongue slowly pushed between her lips
   1.842 +after a time, and Sakura graciously accepted, thrilled at the feeling
   1.843 +of Tomoyo’s tongue in her mouth. She kissed back with all of her
   1.844 +heart, her fingers clasping together as she pulled Tomoyo tighter.
   1.845 +For the first time since she had come to Hong Kong, and possibly for
   1.846 +the first time in her life, she felt complete. It was like a circuit
   1.847 +was completed within her, love pouring through her entire body. It
   1.848 +was different from the kisses she got from Syaoran. This was gentler,
   1.849 +sweetly exploring all that there was to offer. Tomoyo kissed slowly
   1.850 +but passionately, giving of herself completely to Sakura. His were a
   1.851 +little more forceful, more to the point. Forgetting all about that as
   1.852 +the kiss grew more passionate, she held on tightly to her best
   1.853 +friend. The feelings rushing through her felt stronger than any magic
   1.854 +she had ever experienced. Tomoyo didn’t need magic to touch her soul.
   1.855 +Her kiss was magical enough. 
   1.856 +When the kiss finally ended, the two woman held very close in the
   1.857 +cool night air. Peaceful silence surrounded them, the only sound that
   1.858 +of the flowing water. ‘The love in your heart has to flow, just like
   1.859 +water,’ Tomoyo thought to herself as she held onto Sakura, her head
   1.860 +resting on the brunette’s shoulder. Her hands went gently up and down
   1.861 +Sakura’s back as Sakura lightly toyed with her hair. The two stayed
   1.862 +that way for a long while, Sakura finally falling asleep in Tomoyo’s
   1.863 +arms.
   1.864 +
   1.865 +Watching from the deck where she had concealed herself, Ieran
   1.866 +watched the entire scene unfold. Yes, she had been right after all.
   1.867 +This would require quite a bit of thought. Turning from her daughter-
   1.868 +in-law and her friend, Ieran faded into the night.
   1.869 +
   1.870 +	
   1.871 +	
   1.872 +
   1.873 +
   1.874 +
   1.875 +