1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/ccssmile.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
     1.4 +Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective owners (CLAMP...etc.).
     1.5 +   The song is by Lonestar and the lyrics belong to the songwriters. PLEASE do not post my fan fics without my
     1.6 +                                           permission!
     1.7 +
     1.8 +                                          Songfic: Smile
     1.9 +                                          by samuraiheart
    1.10 +
    1.11 +Notes: This is from Tomoyo's point of view. The song lyrics are in italics
    1.12 +
    1.13 +
    1.14 +
    1.15 +I still remember the night we met
    1.16 +You said you loved my smile 
    1.17 +
    1.18 +I've known Sakura for so long. I can't imagine what my world would be like without her. Somehow I always imagined we'd be
    1.19 +together forever. I love her very much and I hope she understands that. I've told her a thousand times in the way I look at her,
    1.20 +the things I say to her, the things I do for her and the way I smile. She's always loved my smile. 
    1.21 +
    1.22 +But your love for me was like a summer breeze
    1.23 +Oh it lasted for a while 
    1.24 +
    1.25 +We went through so much together as she fought to save the world from disaster. I was always there by her side - cheering her
    1.26 +on. I cherish every moment I've spent in her presence. It's a shame that videotape can't always capture it all, but I remember. I
    1.27 +could never forget - the thrill of being near Sakura just for a few moments is enough to last a lifetime. It is enough for me just to
    1.28 +have those memories. At least I can keep telling myself that. I know a part of her will always love me even if she never says it.
    1.29 +We are best friends and we can never lose that special bond. It's hard for me to admit that it will never grow into more than
    1.30 +that. 
    1.31 +
    1.32 +I could hold on a little tighter I know
    1.33 +But when you love someone
    1.34 +You gotta let em go 
    1.35 +
    1.36 +I know she loves Shaolan and I don't want to stand in her way. I want her to be happy more than anything else and I know
    1.37 +they belong together. Sakura promises me that we will never lose touch and I believe her. I would follow her to the ends of the
    1.38 +earth to make sure of it. I will always be the one she can come to when she needs a friend. Her friendship means so much to
    1.39 +me that I can push aside my broken heart so she won't see the tears. 
    1.40 +
    1.41 +So I'm gonna smile
    1.42 +Cause I wanna make you happy
    1.43 +Laugh so you can't see me cry
    1.44 +I'm gonna let you go in style
    1.45 +And even if it kills me
    1.46 +I'm gonna smile 
    1.47 +
    1.48 +I smile when I see them together. I can't help it. Making Sakura happy matters more to me than any ache in my own soul. I can
    1.49 +shed my tears alone in the darkness, but I can never let Sakura see. Mine are tears of emptiness and loneliness, but not
    1.50 +sadness. I am happy for Sakura and I smile so that she will know this. I want nothing more than to make Sakura happy and I
    1.51 +don't think could live with myself if I was ever responsible for a single tear on her beautiful cheek. I know that if I told her how
    1.52 +much I loved her she would have to make a horrible choice and I'm not sure I could live with her decision. It's better this way.
    1.53 +I can hold it inside and she can go on with her life. 
    1.54 +
    1.55 +Kiss me once for the good times baby
    1.56 +Kiss me twice for goodbye 
    1.57 +
    1.58 +I stand before her now not sure what to do. I must say goodbye and let go of all my hopes and dreams. It's just another day to
    1.59 +her. We will see each other tomorrow at school she reminds me as I struggle with the word goodbye. My voice cracks and
    1.60 +shakes a little. Yes. I know I say, but my thoughts echo with the words it will never be the same. I blink back tears and hope
    1.61 +she doesn't notice. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know I have to do it for her. Everything I do is for her.
    1.62 +As she turns away a sudden impulse hits me and I shout "SAKURA!" She turns around and looks at me puzzled. I run to her
    1.63 +and throw my arms around her hugging her tightly. She returns the hug as I whisper in her ear "thanks for everything" Sakura
    1.64 +pauses for a moment as our eyes meet. I try to hide my sadness, but I see my reflection in her sparkling eyes. For a moment I
    1.65 +wonder if she understands as she kisses me softly on the cheek. "Goodbye Tomoyo... I'll see you in school." Two hands part
    1.66 +and mine remains outstretched reaching for something I can never have. 
    1.67 +
    1.68 +You can't help how you don't feel
    1.69 +And it doesn't matter why
    1.70 +Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
    1.71 +Cause that's how I want you to remember me 
    1.72 +
    1.73 +I watch her walk away and let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding in. This is for the best, I remind myself. We will
    1.74 +always be friends and I will always be hers even if she can't be mine. 
    1.75 +
    1.76 +I'm gonna smile
    1.77 +Cause I wanna make you happy
    1.78 +Laugh so you can't see me cry
    1.79 +I'm gonna let you go in style
    1.80 +And Even if it kills me
    1.81 +I'm gonna smile 
    1.82 +
    1.83 +At the end of the street she turns around. At first I am embarrassed that I am still standing there, but my patience earns me a
    1.84 +precious gift as Sakura smiles brightly and waves at me before turning around and rushing home. I smile and return the wave.
    1.85 +The image will stay with me always as an unspoken acceptance of my hidden promise to her. I will always love you, but you
    1.86 +must find your own love. Go and be happy Sakura. You deserve it more than anyone else in this world. More than me. 
    1.87 +
    1.88 +I'm gonna smile
    1.89 +So you can find the courage
    1.90 +Laugh so you won't see me hurting
    1.91 +I'm gonna let you go in style
    1.92 +And even if it kills me
    1.93 +I'm gonna smile 
    1.94 +
    1.95 +Please ignore the tears on my cheeks because I am smiling.