1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/callme.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,304 @@
     1.4 +Starry, Starry Night
     1.5 +by Amazoness Duo
     1.6 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.7 +
     1.8 +
     1.9 +
    1.10 +Slam. The door slamming shut fails to startle the usually jumpy
    1.11 +Sakura Kinomoto. Perhaps it is because she’s the reason behind it.
    1.12 +Perhaps it is because the day has been far too long for her. Her
    1.13 +genki spirits are drained, strained to their limit. Even her
    1.14 +seemingly boundless energy has limits, apparently. Or perhaps it is
    1.15 +simply that she doesn’t care. 
    1.16 +
    1.17 +Her shoes lie sloppily by the door, her body slipping them off only
    1.18 +out of years of habit. There they lay, discarded by their mistress as
    1.19 +she limps off towards her room, a broken prince making her way back
    1.20 +to her conquered kingdom. 
    1.21 +
    1.22 +“I should have known you were home, monster. You make enough noise
    1.23 +to wake the dead,” her brother says from the couch. 
    1.24 +
    1.25 +She hardly hears him. Her world is thousands of miles away, a
    1.26 +distant speck in the sky. Everything reaches her from light years
    1.27 +away, travelling an eternity to reach her. For once she doesn’t feel
    1.28 +like arguing. She hasn’t the will to bother. She merely climbs the
    1.29 +stairs, one foot at a time, focussing only on the next step. If her
    1.30 +brother is concerned by her strange behavior, she pays no attention. 
    1.31 +
    1.32 +Finally returning to her room, the seemingly vanquished Cardmistress
    1.33 +stumbles inside. Her bookbag drops to the floor near her door. She
    1.34 +doesn’t bother changing out of her school uniform. Keeping it nice
    1.35 +and neat, relaxing into something more comfortable, neither matter to
    1.36 +her at the moment. She simply collapses on her bed, her body giving
    1.37 +up its long struggle to reach that point. She lies there, time
    1.38 +standing still. Yet she knows this won’t last. There are more dragons
    1.39 +to slay, after all. There’s still far too much going on for her to
    1.40 +actually rest for long. 
    1.41 +
    1.42 +The auburn haired girl waits impatiently for the silence to break,
    1.43 +for her rest to come to an abrupt halt. But it continues on, a quiet
    1.44 +purgatory, halfway between peace and the worries that keep stabbing
    1.45 +at her brain for her attention. So apparently Kero isn’t here. She
    1.46 +sighs in relief. She doesn’t think she can deal with the Seal Beast
    1.47 +at the moment. He’s important to her, but she is feeling too
    1.48 +miserable to listen to him right now. He isn’t exactly the best
    1.49 +person to go to when she was feeling like this. 
    1.50 +
    1.51 +There was one person who could always help when she was like this.
    1.52 +Who always managed to make sense out of her tangled web of feelings,
    1.53 +sorting it all out with an expert hand, never breaking a single
    1.54 +strand, her gentle touch unraveling the spider’s web in her heart
    1.55 +into a single clear thread. But alas, this sorceress of her heart was
    1.56 +far away now. 
    1.57 +
    1.58 +Life was so much more difficult without someone to turn to when
    1.59 +things went wrong, without someone to subtly lead her in the right
    1.60 +direction. It wasn’t until Tomoyo was gone that she realized how much
    1.61 +she relied on the other girl. She had never felt this weak and
    1.62 +miserable back when Tomoyo had been in her life. No matter how bad
    1.63 +things got, the eccentric heiress could take away her worries with a
    1.64 +few soft words and usually leave her blushing in the process.
    1.65 +
    1.66 +Sakura sighs, rolling over onto her back, staring up at her roof. It
    1.67 +was her own fault. She should try harder to stay in touch. But it was
    1.68 +so difficult. Life was so complicated. And Tomoyo always seemed to be
    1.69 +busy with something. And she lived so far away. She had to take a bus
    1.70 +just to reach her house. It had all started when they had entered
    1.71 +high school. Sakura had been surprised when Tomoyo went to a
    1.72 +different high school. She should have known that would happen, but
    1.73 +it still hit her pretty hard. Tomoyo was one of the smartest people
    1.74 +in her class, after all, always getting high marks in everything. But
    1.75 +somehow she had thought Tomoyo would always be there. So they went to
    1.76 +different schools. They both had so much to do. And then Syaoran came
    1.77 +back and Tomoyo got even busier for some reason. It had been quite a
    1.78 +while since Sakura had last seen her dark haired friend. That thought
    1.79 +sends a cold chill through her. She feels guilty and lonely all at
    1.80 +the same time. 
    1.81 +
    1.82 +Turning her head, Sakura gazes at her phone. Spellbound, she reaches
    1.83 +for it. But she can’t call her. It would only seem like she only came
    1.84 +to her when she needed help. She should wait until this had passed.
    1.85 +So that she could call Tomoyo simply to call her, for nothing else.
    1.86 +Yes, that’s a good idea.
    1.87 +
    1.88 +But it’s too late. The phone is already ringing. Sakura must have
    1.89 +dialed while she was thinking about all that. She must have been more
    1.90 +eager to call than even she had realized. She sits anxiously, her
    1.91 +heart fluttering nervously in her chest. It had been weeks. What
    1.92 +should she say? What will Tomoyo think? What has she been up to? The
    1.93 +phone rings and rings. Sakura breaths a sigh of mixed relief and
    1.94 +disappointment. Tomoyo must not be home. She wants to hear her, but
    1.95 +at least this solves her problem of calling when she can’t handle
    1.96 +things without her friend’s delicate touch. 
    1.97 +
    1.98 +“Moshi moshi,” a soft voice answers on the other end of the phone. 
    1.99 +
   1.100 +Sakura freezes. She doesn’t know how long it is before she answers,
   1.101 +but it feels like a lifetime. She swallows nervously and speaks
   1.102 +haltingly into the phone. “Hi.. ano... Tomoyo-chan? Is.. Are you..
   1.103 +This is Sakura-chan.” She blinks, wondering just how stupid she
   1.104 +sounds. But her thoughts fail her. She can’t think. In panic, she
   1.105 +almost wants to hang up and pretend she didn’t call. Maybe Tomoyo
   1.106 +will think it was a wrong number. Well, if she hadn’t mentioned her
   1.107 +name. 
   1.108 +
   1.109 +A small giggle on the other end. “I’d remember your voice anywhere,
   1.110 +Sakura-chan. It’s so wonderful to hear from you again.” Dark hair
   1.111 +gets pushed behind her ear as she repositions the phone. “You sound
   1.112 +just as beautiful as I remember.” A soft sigh. “How have you been,
   1.113 +Sakura-chan?”
   1.114 +
   1.115 +“I’ve been all right,” Sakura says, though she certainly doesn’t
   1.116 +feel all right. But it was accurate enough. She may not have been her
   1.117 +best lately, but she could have been much worse, right? “Just busy, I
   1.118 +guess. High school’s a lot harder than I expected. Especially without
   1.119 +you there to help me understand some of the lessons. I probably
   1.120 +wouldn’t have even passed the entrance exams without you helping me
   1.121 +study for them.”
   1.122 +
   1.123 +The other girl shakes her head, not believing the praise. “Sakura-
   1.124 +chan would have done just fine on her own. You would have rushed at
   1.125 +the last moment without me, but you would have passed them all just
   1.126 +fine. And I’m sure your father’s still proud of your grades even
   1.127 +without me to help you. You’re very bright, Sakura-chan. You just
   1.128 +don’t pay attention enough to certain things because your mind is
   1.129 +always elsewhere. But I would never want to change that. It’s too
   1.130 +cute to get rid of. So I don’t think anyone would mind if your grades
   1.131 +suffer just a bit because of it. It’s who you are.”
   1.132 +
   1.133 +A small smile plays at Sakura’s lips. She rolls on her side, her
   1.134 +legs pulling up to her stomach. “Thank you, Tomoyo-chan. I guess I
   1.135 +haven’t been paying as much attention as I could. But there’s always
   1.136 +so much to think about. It’s hard to focus on the lessons all the
   1.137 +time.”
   1.138 +
   1.139 +Tomoyo giggles. “See? So my Sakura-chan has nothing to worry about.
   1.140 +You’ll do just fine, I promise.”
   1.141 +
   1.142 +Sakura nods, starting to believe it. “It always feels like that when
   1.143 +I talk to you. Like it really will be all right. ‘Everything will
   1.144 +always be all right,’ ne, Tomoyo-chan?”
   1.145 +
   1.146 +“Of course it will, Sakura-chan. You just have to keep believing
   1.147 +that. You will make it all work out. That’s your own special type of
   1.148 +magic. Never give up. You can overcome anything. I have faith in you.
   1.149 +I know everything will be all right for you,” Tomoyo replies
   1.150 +comfortingly. 
   1.151 +
   1.152 +Emerald eyes close, the world slipping away. She holds onto Tomoyo’s
   1.153 +voice, her only anchor to the world. It laps about her like a gentle
   1.154 +wave, caressing away the aches and pains in her heart. “But what
   1.155 +about you?” she asks, not even sure why. But the way Tomoyo said
   1.156 +that... She wants things to work out for her best friend, too. Not
   1.157 +only herself. Otherwise what was the point?
   1.158 +
   1.159 +There’s a pause on the other end. It’s only for half a second, but
   1.160 +it feels so long for Tomoyo. But when she replies, she sounds like
   1.161 +her normal eccentric self. “If everything is all right for Sakura-
   1.162 +chan, then everything will be fine for me. Because then I’ll know
   1.163 +you’re happy. That’s all I really want.”
   1.164 +
   1.165 +Sakura swallows painfully, her eyes closing tighter. “Tomoyo-chan...
   1.166 +I’m sorry I haven’t seen you in a while.”
   1.167 +
   1.168 +The heiress gingerly brushes away the apology. “Please don’t worry,
   1.169 +Sakura-chan. I know you’ve been busy. Especially with Li-kun back.
   1.170 +You have a lot going on in your life. You finally have a love life
   1.171 +now on top of everything else, after all.” 
   1.172 +
   1.173 +This time it’s Sakura’s turn to pause. She hadn’t known how to
   1.174 +explain that. Or what to say about it. Or even where to begin. “You
   1.175 +know that Li-kun is here?”
   1.176 +
   1.177 +“Hai,” Tomoyo replies. “Meiling-chan told me. We’ve been keeping in
   1.178 +contact. I’ve been writing her some letters. I think she’s needed
   1.179 +someone to talk to who understands. She isn’t taking Li-kun being in
   1.180 +love with you very well. But don’t worry, Sakura-chan. She’s a strong
   1.181 +girl. She reminds me of my mother. I think she’ll be just fine.” What
   1.182 +Tomoyo doesn’t mention is how her mother had handled the loss of her
   1.183 +own love. If Meiling takes the same path, then she probably won’t
   1.184 +ever be on good terms with Sakura. But there is no point in worrying
   1.185 +the Cardmistress about such things. 
   1.186 +
   1.187 +“But.. I need you..” Sakura whispers, barely audibly. She feels a
   1.188 +tinge of jealousy that Meiling was getting Tomoyo’s letters, getting
   1.189 +Tomoyo’s support when she wanted it herself. She misses it terribly,
   1.190 +having the dark haired girl there with her, to catch her when she
   1.191 +stumbled, to help push her forward when she wasn’t strong enough
   1.192 +herself. She wasn’t the same without Tomoyo there beside her. Tomoyo
   1.193 +brought out things inside of her that made life so much more amazing.
   1.194 +Life on her own felt so tedious. It was too normal, too boring
   1.195 +without the cute girl videotaping her every movement, whispering
   1.196 +embarrassing things to her, giving her all the love and support she
   1.197 +could need. 
   1.198 +
   1.199 +“Sakura-chan?” 
   1.200 +
   1.201 +Sakura shakes her head, swallowing again and again to force down the
   1.202 +knot in her throat. She shouldn’t cry now. Tomoyo was her friend. She
   1.203 +didn’t need to worry about her problems when she was so busy. She
   1.204 +tries to speak, but she stops herself, her voice about to break.
   1.205 +She’ll cry if she says something, she knows it.
   1.206 +
   1.207 +“Sakura-chan?” Tomoyo says, more anxiously this time. “Are you all
   1.208 +right? What’s been happening? What’s wrong?” Her voice is still a
   1.209 +whisper, but now it’s stronger, trying to make sure it gets to
   1.210 +Sakura. Sakura is supposed to be happy now. Things are supposed to be
   1.211 +working out for her. But there are tears laced under Sakura’s words.
   1.212 +Something is bothering her auburn haired friend. And she hadn’t been
   1.213 +there to help it. She had been trying to step back from Sakura’s
   1.214 +life, leaving her in Syaoran’s capable hands. At least, she had
   1.215 +thought they were capable. But if that was the case, why wasn’t
   1.216 +Sakura going to him right now? She wants to reach out and hold the
   1.217 +other girl, but all she can do is wait for the silence to end. 
   1.218 +
   1.219 +“He’s... I’ve just been...” Sakura swallows again, blinking again
   1.220 +and again. The tears sting at her eyes as she struggles to find her
   1.221 +voice. But she can’t use magic to return it the way she had
   1.222 +recaptured Tomoyo’s voice. Her teary eyes blink open. On her desk she
   1.223 +sees a picture of herself with her boyfriend, his face scowling even
   1.224 +in the picture of the two of them. Just as he always did. Those amber
   1.225 +eyes looking into her own so uncomfortably. But when she closed her
   1.226 +eyes on those starry, starry nights, she didn’t see those amber eyes.
   1.227 +Those eyes could not read her soul. They couldn’t see into her heart.
   1.228 +They didn’t blaze passionately the way the beautiful stormy blue eyes
   1.229 +in her mind did, the ones she gazed into under the moonlight in her
   1.230 +dreams. “Sometimes I wish you had been a boy. Then maybe you would
   1.231 +have fallen in love with me.” Sakura laughs weakly, only half joking.
   1.232 +“You always understood me. You were always there for me. I always
   1.233 +felt safe with you. Like it didn't matter that my feelings were
   1.234 +always so confusing. You helped me sort them out. You took such great
   1.235 +care of my heart. Like it was a delicate treasure.”'
   1.236 +
   1.237 +"I wouldn't need to be a boy to fall in love with you, Sakura-chan,"
   1.238 +Tomoyo's soft voice whispers through the phone. It is so quiet that
   1.239 +Sakura has to strain to hear her now. 
   1.240 +
   1.241 +The Cardmistress finds herself blushing once again. But this time
   1.242 +she doesn’t try to ignore it. She won’t just push it off this time.
   1.243 +“Really?” she asks, almost desperately. She was afraid what she had
   1.244 +said about Tomoyo being a boy would sound stupid or embarrassing. But
   1.245 +the dark haired girl had soothed away her worries again with her
   1.246 +response. Had, in fact, sprung up some hope in Sakura’s heart. “I
   1.247 +didn’t realize how happy you made me until I stopped seeing you,
   1.248 +Tomoyo-chan. I miss you. I miss you so much.” Sakura feels hot tears
   1.249 +slip down her cheeks as she rolls onto her back again, a hand over
   1.250 +her heart.
   1.251 +
   1.252 +Tomoyo blinks weakly. She is having trouble focussing. Everything
   1.253 +feels so hazy and dreamlike. She’s so tired, but she pushes past that
   1.254 +as best she can. A warm smile lights up her face. “I’ve missed you,
   1.255 +too, Sakura-chan. More than you could ever know. You’re all I ever
   1.256 +think about. You always made me happy, too. All of my happiest times
   1.257 +were with you.”
   1.258 +
   1.259 +“Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura clutches the phone tightly, her heart
   1.260 +rumbling in her chest. There is so much she wants to say, but she
   1.261 +doesn’t even know where to begin. Her feelings are all a jumble, just
   1.262 +as always. But maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. Tomoyo always
   1.263 +understood before. Even when she herself didn’t know what lay in her
   1.264 +heart.
   1.265 +
   1.266 +“Sakura-chan... I’ll always love you...” Tomoyo whispers sleepily,
   1.267 +her voice barely carrying over the phone. She looks blearily at her
   1.268 +mother’s letter opener, wiping away the fresh blood from it with
   1.269 +weak, numb fingers. The phone ringing had barely managed to catch her
   1.270 +attention after she had used it to etch out a ticket away from her
   1.271 +life. Life without Sakura was too empty. It was like getting a taste
   1.272 +of heaven and then being snatched away, separated from that bliss. It
   1.273 +is so nice to hear Sakura one last time, she thinks tiredly. What a
   1.274 +perfect goodbye present. It’s a good thing that Sakura can’t see her
   1.275 +bloody and in her nightgown in bed. Her poor Cardmistress wouldn’t
   1.276 +take that well at all. So this way, she could find a softer way of
   1.277 +saying goodbye. She tries so hard to keep thinking, but it’s all
   1.278 +getting so much more difficult. Her room seems so far away. The last
   1.279 +thing she hears is Sakura’s beautiful voice ringing in her ears. The
   1.280 +voice of an angel. Her angel.
   1.281 +
   1.282 +And as always, Tomoyo somehow hands Sakura the missing piece. Things
   1.283 +slowly begin to fit. A beautiful picture begins to take shape, it’s
   1.284 +implications almost too much for Sakura to take in all at once. No,
   1.285 +she hadn’t been in love with Syaoran after all. He wasn’t the one who
   1.286 +nurtured her heart, who shared her deepest joys and darkest sorrows.
   1.287 +He wasn’t the one who loved her for all that she was. The puzzle
   1.288 +slowly completed itself in her mind’s eye. It held a gorgeous picture
   1.289 +of a girl with deep blue eyes and snow white skin, dark hair flowing
   1.290 +about her. Tomoyo. It had always been Tomoyo. That’s why her life
   1.291 +wasn’t working without her. She truly does need the dark haired
   1.292 +heiress. More than she could possibly imagine. “I love you, too,
   1.293 +Tomoyo-chan...” she answers, her cheeks red. It feels so freeing to
   1.294 +say it, to let it out. Yes, she loves her. Boy or not. It didn’t
   1.295 +matter. Tomoyo completed her life. Without her, everything was chaos.
   1.296 +She waits anxiously for Tomoyo’s reply, but nothing comes. The phone
   1.297 +slowly slips away from the dark haired girl’s dead fingers,
   1.298 +clattering to the floor. “Tomoyo-chan?” Sakura asks. No response.
   1.299 +“Tomoyo-chan?” Perhaps Tomoyo had fallen asleep. She had sounded so
   1.300 +tired on the phone, so weak and quiet. Yes, that’s it. Sakura listens
   1.301 +intently, but she can’t even hear Tomoyo’s gentle breathing on the
   1.302 +other end. “Tomoyo-chan?” Still nothing. It’s as if the world has
   1.303 +gone silent on the other end of the phone.
   1.304 +
   1.305 +“Tomoyo-chan? I love you...”
   1.306 +
   1.307 +Click.
   1.308 \ No newline at end of file