1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/althea2.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,94 @@
     1.4 +Why 
     1.5 +by Althea K. 
     1.6 +
     1.7 +
     1.8 +
     1.9 +I know you couldn't possibly understand. And that's alright. I don't
    1.10 +expect you to. 
    1.11 +
    1.12 +And I know that if I did try to explain it to you, you would protest
    1.13 +and say that I'm wrong, that no one will ever be more important to
    1.14 +you than I. And that's alright, too. Because I would know you didn't
    1.15 +mean to lie. 
    1.16 +
    1.17 +Someday, you'll be gone. Oh, sure, we might stay in touch:
    1.18 +occasional phone calls with long, uncomfortable silences, chance
    1.19 +meetings in public places involving forced, halting conversation and
    1.20 +maybe some awkward attempt at physical contact. But do you honestly
    1.21 +believe that as the years go by we'll be able to maintain this kind
    1.22 +of intensity? Believe me, there is nothing I would love more than to
    1.23 +remain forever the center of your universe, the focus of your life,
    1.24 +that routine yet joyous event that every day must be planned around.
    1.25 +I would love so much to spend my every moment by your side, to always
    1.26 +have your voice, rough with sleep, be the very first I hear when I
    1.27 +wake each morning. 
    1.28 +
    1.29 +But this will never be my place. 
    1.30 +
    1.31 +For now I can race through the streets with your hand clasped in
    1.32 +mine; for now I can collapse on the dewey grass with you, my head
    1.33 +resting on your soft belly until the last crazed traces of laughter
    1.34 +have faded from that violent hitching and heaving to the subtlety of
    1.35 +your gentle, steady breath. But there will come a time when I can no
    1.36 +longer crawl into bed with you and dream of your ever loving me as I
    1.37 +love you and pretend to feel your lips against my forehead as I drift
    1.38 +into sleep. There will come a time when there is another in that
    1.39 +place. This fortunate person will be honoured with that goodnight
    1.40 +kiss I have always secretly longed for but never could request from
    1.41 +you. 
    1.42 +
    1.43 +Our time together is so limited; I must cherish every moment I can
    1.44 +get. I must burn each and every moment into my memory, tuck each one
    1.45 +away for those bitter times ahead when I will have to watch you from
    1.46 +a distance, walking by his side. What else will keep me warm those
    1.47 +cold nights when you will run to his arms instead of mine? 
    1.48 +
    1.49 +There is no way to make you understand such things. I can see it in
    1.50 +your eyes, can feel it in your touch.. 
    1.51 +
    1.52 +I wish you wouldn't ask me. 
    1.53 +
    1.54 +Whenever I can't answer a question of yours with total honesty, I
    1.55 +feel sick in my heart. I feel like I have lied to you, have somehow
    1.56 +let you down. But if I told you the whole truth, you wouldn't
    1.57 +understand. You simply wouldn't see. The innocence in your voice when
    1.58 +you ask me is enough to make this certain fact. What good would it do
    1.59 +to confuse you, perhaps to frighten you? I don't want to make you cry. 
    1.60 +
    1.61 +And you would, wouldn't you? Cry and deny and cling to my arm.
    1.62 +Tangle loving fingers in my hair and tell me the end will never come.
    1.63 +Sing sweet lies to me, unable to see the truth through your tears of
    1.64 +naivety. 
    1.65 +
    1.66 +I wish you could blind me with those tears. I wish that I didn't
    1.67 +have to see the lonely nights ahead of me with such perfect clarity.
    1.68 +I could put away my camera and grab your hand and dance with you
    1.69 +until the years fall away like sheets of silk.. I could... I could.. 
    1.70 +
    1.71 +I could fall asleep on a pillow no longer damp with tears. 
    1.72 +
    1.73 +I could enjoy each moment without the desperate need to capture it
    1.74 +on film. 
    1.75 +
    1.76 +I could put away my camera without fear of missing anything.. 
    1.77 +
    1.78 +Oh.. I wish I could forget... 
    1.79 +
    1.80 +Every smile... Every laugh... I must hold... forever. 
    1.81 +
    1.82 +It may be the last you ever share with me. 
    1.83 +
    1.84 +
    1.85 +
    1.86 +
    1.87 +---------------------------------------------------------------------
    1.88 +----------- 
    1.89 +
    1.90 +
    1.91 +(Legal Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Card Captor
    1.92 +Sakura belong to CLAMP and.. whoever else holds the rights.) 
    1.93 +
    1.94 +(Author's Note: If you want to use this fanfic on your website, want
    1.95 +to talk about anime lesbians, or don't know what the hell this fanfic
    1.96 +was about, please email me at either womanprince@hotmail.com or
    1.97 +poorjuri@hotmail.com. Thank you.) 
    1.98 \ No newline at end of file