1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/stories/sonomi.txt	Fri Feb 19 06:24:59 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,245 @@
     1.4 +Lonely, Lonely Heart
     1.5 +by Amazoness Duo
     1.6 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.7 +
     1.8 +
     1.9 +
    1.10 +The wind was picking up. The radio had said there would be a storm
    1.11 +hitting soon. Often the news can be mistaken about such things, but
    1.12 +Sonomi had no doubt that this time they were correct. Which is why
    1.13 +she had hurried as quickly as she could. It was Nadeshiko's birthday,
    1.14 +after all, and she had never once been late in the eight years since
    1.15 +her death. 
    1.16 +
    1.17 +The limousine pulled to a stop in front of a quiet and still
    1.18 +cemetary. Stepping out of the back, Sonomi could feel the dampness in
    1.19 +the cool air. The breeze carried a strong smell of rain as dark
    1.20 +clouds rolled overhead. But the business woman paid them no heed as
    1.21 +she walked into the mostly empty graveyard. There were few mourners
    1.22 +today, few brave enough to tease the coming storm. Sonomi made a
    1.23 +mental note to call Tomoyo before she got home and make sure that she
    1.24 +was safe and sound. They could spend the night in front of the fire,
    1.25 +drinking hot chocolate. Perhaps they could watch some of Tomoyo's
    1.26 +beautifully filmed videos of Sakura. But that was all for later. For
    1.27 +now, she had something else she had to do.
    1.28 +
    1.29 +"Hello, Nadeshiko-chan," Sonomi whispered into the silence. Kneeling
    1.30 +in front of Nadeshiko's gravestone, she set down an armful of Sakura
    1.31 +blossoms that she had brought with her, as well as a tiny box wrapped
    1.32 +with beautiful red wrapping paper and long pink ribbons. "Happy
    1.33 +birthday." Her fingers followed the curve of Nadeshiko's name along
    1.34 +the cold stone. How often had she whispered that name in her sleep?
    1.35 +How often had she called out it's beautiful syllables when she had
    1.36 +been younger? Countless times in the past, and forevermore in the
    1.37 +future would she be whispering the name of her darling cousin. 
    1.38 +
    1.39 +A dark sigh escaped Sonomi's lips as she closed her eyes. This was
    1.40 +always such a difficult thing to do. She had thrown herself into her
    1.41 +work after Nadeshiko had gone away with -him- as a way to distract
    1.42 +herself from her pain. It allowed her to forget the despair that
    1.43 +clung to her heart. But whenever she was here at her cousin's grave,
    1.44 +it was impossible to forget. Countless memories, both sweet and sad,
    1.45 +joyful and sorrowful, flooded back to her when she was there. Here in
    1.46 +this place, she didn't have her work to focus her thoughts upon. She
    1.47 +didn't have her gentle daughter to ease the loneliness in her heart.
    1.48 +Here she was left all alone with her memories. 
    1.49 +
    1.50 +'Please don't cry, Sonomi-chan,' Nadeshiko had whispered oh so long
    1.51 +ago. Sonomi had rushed to her side upon finding out that her beloved
    1.52 +was dying. She had run from the pain, distancing herself from
    1.53 +Nadeshiko's life when the other girl had been wed, but she had found
    1.54 +herself forcefully pulled back by Nadeshiko's sudded illness. 'I
    1.55 +don't like to see you sad. I'll watch over you. So please be happy.'
    1.56 +
    1.57 +'I.. I can't, Nadeshiko-chan...' Sonomi had replied by her cousin's
    1.58 +bedside. 'I can't do that. I can't hold back my tears. Not for you. I
    1.59 +need you, Nadeshiko-chan.. I can't pretend that I don't.' She knew
    1.60 +now that Fujitaka had promised Nadeshiko that he wouldn't cry for
    1.61 +her, but Sonomi hadn't been able to fulfill that wish of her cousin.
    1.62 +Her heart belonged solely to the dark haired beauty, and it suffered
    1.63 +terribly without her. They were tears of sorrow that she would never
    1.64 +again see her beautiful cousin, tears of resentment over the man who
    1.65 +had stolen her most precious Nadeshiko, and tears of regret for
    1.66 +having missed out on so much of Nadeshiko's life by fleeing after her
    1.67 +marriage.
    1.68 +
    1.69 +"Nadeshiko-chan, I miss you." Sonomi felt a painful sadness well up
    1.70 +in her heart. "I miss you," she repeated. Her eyes, the same stormy
    1.71 +blue as the skies above, welled up with tears. In all of her
    1.72 +memories, Nadeshiko smiled radiently, giving off a warmth that was
    1.73 +hotter than the sun to those who were blessed to know her. Sonomi
    1.74 +longed to see that smile once more, to see her beautiful cousin
    1.75 +before her. But she was all alone, unable to catch even a glimpse of
    1.76 +her heart's desire. Her head rested against the cold stone as tears
    1.77 +fell silently to the earth below her. Sometimes it was so hard to
    1.78 +keep going without Nadeshiko. Everything could feel so futile without
    1.79 +her cheerful cousin by her side. She had languished in this painful
    1.80 +half existence ever since Nadeshiko's marriage stole the dark haired
    1.81 +woman away from her. What was life if your one True Love was ripped
    1.82 +from your grasp? Sonomi's only consolation was her sweet and loving
    1.83 +daughter. Tomoyo was like a little piece of Nadeshiko left behind.
    1.84 +She was cheerful and thoughtful and always terribly kind. She was
    1.85 +Sonomi's one treasure that managed to soothe her heart. But now,
    1.86 +Tomoyo was far away and Sonomi was left to deal with her anguish alone.
    1.87 +
    1.88 +"She missed you, too," a man's voice said softly from behind the
    1.89 +woman collapsed against the tombstone. Fujitaka stepped back,
    1.90 +allowing Sonomi some room as the business woman stood up quickly and
    1.91 +composed herself. Her tears were briskly wiped away, the only sign
    1.92 +that she had been crying the tell tale red in her eyes. Her look of
    1.93 +sorrow was also replaced swiftly with one of hateful frustration. The
    1.94 +man smiled in return, setting down his own flowers in front of
    1.95 +Nadeshiko's grave. That only served to strengthen Sonomi's ire. 
    1.96 +
    1.97 +"What are you doing here?" she demanded, covering her earlier
    1.98 +despair with the anger that was quickly rising up through her. It was
    1.99 +with some relief that she turned form sorrow to anger. THis was
   1.100 +something she could focus on, that she could vent out. Her pain never
   1.101 +lessened it's hold on her heart, but her anger allowed her some
   1.102 +measure of release. And this man was always the perfect target
   1.103 +because she, quite simply, hated him. He had stolen everything from
   1.104 +her. Her dearest Nadeshiko had been plucked right from her grasp. And
   1.105 +after Sonomi had promised to protect her sweet cousin from such
   1.106 +insects. He had even managed to outrace her, the only one ever to do
   1.107 +so, as if he needed to slap her in the face after tearing out her
   1.108 +heart.
   1.109 +
   1.110 +Fujitaka smiled pleasantly, as if greeting an old friend. "It's
   1.111 +Nadeshiko's birthday. I wanted to give her some flowers." He nodded
   1.112 +towards Sonomi's previously placed bouquet. "But it seems that I
   1.113 +couldn't hope to outdo your offering, Sonomi-san." He knelt down,
   1.114 +setting his own own flowers next to Sonomi's. "I'm sure she'll love
   1.115 +those. You always did know what she liked."
   1.116 +Standing back up, he watched Sonomi through his glasses for a long
   1.117 +moment.
   1.118 +
   1.119 +Sonomi met his gaze fiercely, glaring at her former teacher. This
   1.120 +man had taken away that which she loved most dearly and dared to act
   1.121 +as if they were simply old acquaintances? Why did he always do that?
   1.122 +Didn't he have any human decency in him to just leave her alone? Why
   1.123 +did he insist on hurting her continually, his very presence a dark
   1.124 +reminder of the loss of Nadeshiko? "Kinomoto-sensei." She nodded
   1.125 +towards him and turned towards her limousine. She didn't need this
   1.126 +right now. She would cry the way back home and then would spend the
   1.127 +rest of the night in her daughter's company, the two getting a chance
   1.128 +to escape the pain that love had caused the both of them. 
   1.129 +
   1.130 +"Sonomi-san, do you have to leave so soon? She really did miss you.
   1.131 +I'm certain that she still does," he said cryptically, watching her
   1.132 +back. 
   1.133 +
   1.134 +Tensing up at his words, Sonomi sprung on her heel like a cat,
   1.135 +watching Fujitaka smile jovially at her. Today was the day that she
   1.136 +was supposed to pay her respects to her beloved, that she could just
   1.137 +stay by her side, but he had taken even that from her. She was in too
   1.138 +much of an emotional hurricane to think clearly, let alone to deal
   1.139 +with him. "What are you talking about? I have to get home to my
   1.140 +daughter. She needs me." A light shower of rain began to fall, slowly
   1.141 +carressing Sonomi's face and pelting agaisnt her clothes. 
   1.142 +
   1.143 +"And so does Nadeshiko," Fujitaka replied.Raindrops spattered
   1.144 +against his glasses, but he took no notice, his eyes still on his
   1.145 +deceased wife's cousin. 
   1.146 +
   1.147 +Clenching her fists, Sonomi felt her anger well up so quickly that
   1.148 +it burnt her inside. "Don't you dare tell me about Nadeshiko-chan!!
   1.149 +You stole her from me! You took away the most precious thing in my
   1.150 +life! I don't care what you have to say! You always give me that
   1.151 +damned patronizing smile, as if you don't care about any of the pain
   1.152 +you've caused or that others suffer through. Why can't you just be
   1.153 +happy with what you took from me? Why can't you leave me alone..?"
   1.154 +Her voice broke at last, tears rolling down her cheeks as her anger
   1.155 +finally gave way to pure sorrow and hopelessness. She was forever
   1.156 +lost, never to be blessed with the love that graced her heart. Never
   1.157 +to have or to hold her beautiful cousin. And it was all because of
   1.158 +one man. 
   1.159 +
   1.160 +The taller man watched Sonomi for a long time, unsure of what to
   1.161 +say. In all the time that he had known Sonomi, he had never once seen
   1.162 +her like this. She had always been like a brave and noble samurai,
   1.163 +always ready to do battle with him. But now, she looked so weak and
   1.164 +fragile, her steel will caving in on itself. He did feel the pain,
   1.165 +even if she didn't see it. He didn't allow it to show through. He had
   1.166 +promised Nadeshiko. He had loved her and had agreed to her wishes.
   1.167 +But Sonomi wasn't one to hide her emotions behind a never changing
   1.168 +smile, to lock up the pain deep inside the heart and never letting it
   1.169 +go. No, they had both dealt with their grief in entirely different
   1.170 +ways. Sonomi by busying herself with her work and by fueling her
   1.171 +anger towards him. And he dealt with it as if it wasn't there, behind
   1.172 +a frozen smile and an endlessly pleasant demeanor. In some ways, he
   1.173 +envied Sonomi. She let her emotions through and rode with them, so
   1.174 +much like his own daughter, Sakura. She experienced all of her
   1.175 +emotions to their fullest. At the same time, he pitied her. He, at
   1.176 +least, had his memories of his marriage to Nadeshiko and their time
   1.177 +spent together. Sonomi had been robbed of even that simple pleasure.
   1.178 +So he understood why she hated him so, although he couldn't imagine
   1.179 +simply not marrying Nadeshiko. That would have been like denying his
   1.180 +very existence. 
   1.181 +
   1.182 +Sonomi felt a hand on her shoulder and immediately shrugged it away.
   1.183 +"Leave me alone," she said weakly, trying to pull up any form of
   1.184 +strength to get away. But there was nothing there for her to use. She
   1.185 +felt so... empty. 
   1.186 +
   1.187 +"She missed you," Fujitaka repeated. "She kept searching for you in
   1.188 +the last few years of her life. And she was always talking about you.
   1.189 +'Sonomi-chan always loved to cook for me'. 'Sonomi-chan and I always
   1.190 +did this together'. 'Sonomi-chan was always there for me. I wonder
   1.191 +what she's doing right now'." He paused smiling a little to himself
   1.192 +as he looked at the tombstone. His wife's body may be under their
   1.193 +feet, but she was not. He wouldn't be surprised if she was watching
   1.194 +them at that very moment. "You and I both know that Nadeshiko wasn't
   1.195 +one to regret much. It wasn't her nature. She lived life to it's
   1.196 +fullest and treasured every moment of it. And I think we both loved
   1.197 +that about her. But you were one of her only regrets. Possibly the
   1.198 +only regret she ever carried. The two of you were practically
   1.199 +inseperable until we got married. You'll never know how much that
   1.200 +hurt her. It took her forever to understand why you left." He sighed,
   1.201 +pulling off his glasses. His own heart was clenching at the memories,
   1.202 +but it was nice to try not to hide it for once. "She wanted to raise
   1.203 +Sakura-chan like you. That's why she always had such short hair. And
   1.204 +why I got her involved in athletics. Because Nadeshiko wanted her to
   1.205 +grow up to be like her strong and gorgeous cousin, Sonomi. I tried my
   1.206 +best to comply with her wishes." A soft laugh escaped him as he
   1.207 +watched Sonomi, whose stormy blue eyes were staring into his own with
   1.208 +a profound intensity. Sonomi still hated him, but he could see that
   1.209 +they were curious, listening. "I think she turned out quite a bit
   1.210 +like you. Even if she isn't quite as perceptive."
   1.211 +
   1.212 +Sonomi felt a lump form in her throat as she tried to swallow. Her
   1.213 +tears continued to cascade down her cheeks, mixing with the
   1.214 +raindrops. "She... Nadeshiko-chan wanted Sakura-chan to be like me?"
   1.215 +she whispered. She had raised her own daughter to be like Nadeshiko,
   1.216 +a way of expressing her longing for her far away cousin. Nadeshiko
   1.217 +had done the same with her own daughter? "Nadeshiko-chan..."she
   1.218 +whimpered, closing her eyes. 
   1.219 +
   1.220 +"She needed to see you again when she found out she was dying,"
   1.221 +Fujitaka continued, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "She said that
   1.222 +she had to see you again before she died. I don't think she was
   1.223 +worried at all about her own death, but the prospect of dying before
   1.224 +she could talk to you again frightened her immensely. So I searched
   1.225 +everywhere I could, any way I could, to find you before time ran out.
   1.226 +The letter you got was from her, but I was the one to seek you out
   1.227 +for her. She had to see you one last time. I was almost afraid that
   1.228 +you wouldn't make it on time. But I always knew that you were the
   1.229 +most reliable person I could think of. And you made it. You should
   1.230 +have seen the smile on her face when I told her you had called in
   1.231 +from your hotel room." His hand went to his eyes as tears of his own
   1.232 +began to blur his vision. "I'd never seen her so happy. It was as if
   1.233 +a huge burden that had been on her shoulders for our entire marriage
   1.234 +had been lifted." He looked up, swallowing painfully. "Sonomi-san,
   1.235 +you meant quite a bit to her. So please don't feel lonely. I know
   1.236 +she's keeping an eye on you."
   1.237 +
   1.238 +"Nadeshiko-chan..." Sonomi sobbed above Nadeshiko's grave, her face
   1.239 +in her hands. The rain had by now thoroughly soaked her dress, but
   1.240 +she could hardly care about such trivial things. Her mind was lost on
   1.241 +those lovely syllables, Nadeshiko. She had always felt so alone,
   1.242 +always wondering how much she had meant to her innocent cousin. Had
   1.243 +she been so happily married that the split between them meant nothing
   1.244 +to her? Was Nadeshiko watching from up above, a beautiful angel that
   1.245 +kept watch over her family? Or did she also give her divine attention
   1.246 +to Sonomi as well? Now it seemed that Sonomi had her answer. So she
   1.247 +cried her heart out, her own lonely tears joining the storm of tears
   1.248 +from up above.
   1.249 \ No newline at end of file