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[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Hi everyone! ^-^ This is a songfic I finished while I was depressed over a few
2 things and when I was supposed to be working on my ChibiUsa & Hotaru
3 manga story. ^^;;; It’s about Zero from Rockman X and hopefully it shows the
4 pain a ‘hero’ endures. I really hope you like it. ^-^ It's to the song
5 'Superman' by Five for Fighting.
6
7 Superman
8 by Amazoness Duo
9 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
10
11
12 “I can’t stand to fly.
13 I’m not that naïve.
14 I’m just out to find
15 The better part of me”
16
17 Zero gazed across the ruined cityscape, his Z-saber still held firmly in
18 his gloved hand as he surveyed the carnage. It was like some vision straight
19 from a horrible nightmare. What made it even worse was that he knew he was
20 responsible for a good portion of it. All in the line of duty, of course. But
21 sometimes he wondered if that was enough. He was causing just as much
22 damage as the Irregulars. What was the difference? Both sides were fighting for
23 peace, but a peace that would fulfil their own objectives. And what was Zero
24 trying to do? He was an Irregular Hunter, but did he really believe
25 wholeheartedly in their ideals? He didn’t know anymore. They were good
26 ideals. To protect the humans from those Repliroids that had turned against
27 them. But the Irregulars had their own ideals. They wanted to have the freedom
28 long denied them by their human creators.
29 The blond robot didn’t fool himself into thinking that he believed in all
30 of the Irregular Hunters ideals. The truth of the matter was that he had to keep
31 fighting. He had to keep running. From whom or what, he was uncertain. But he
32 knew that the only solace he found, his only form of escape was deep in battle.
33 Trying to set things right. But he had no idea how he could ever possibly put
34 things right. Things were far too complicated for a simple battle to solve. So
35 Zero kept scrambling from battle to battle, continuing his war against the
36 Irregulars. No, that wasn’t what he was fighting. That was a specification of his
37 job as the leader of Zero Unit. His personal war was being waged against Sigma.
38 That’s what had led him this far. Whether he was running away from his
39 problems or head on into them, he only knew he had to keep going.
40
41 “I’m more than a bird,
42 I’m more than a plane,
43 I’m more than some pretty face beside a train.
44 And it’s not easy to be me.”
45
46 Zero was the ultimate warrior. He was strong, quick, very nearly
47 unstoppable. A ruthless killer if he had to be. Someone who would accomplish
48 the mission objectives no matter what the situation. But that wasn’t necessarily
49 true. He was so much more than that. He was a lost and confused soul. He was a
50 traveler, weary of his travels and where they might take him. He was a wounded
51 child, hiding amidst the rubble, hoping someone would come along and save
52 him. Yet he held up the image that he had projected around himself from very
53 near his activation, hiding behind the strong warrior that everyone believed him
54 to be. He could play his part well enough. It protected him in the same way he
55 tried to protect those that he fought for. Let them believe what they wanted. It
56 was safer that way, to be cold, to not give in to the emotions that boiled within
57 his soul. He was calm and collected, always cool under fire.
58 He was inches away from the edge of chaos, dancing ever closer to the
59 ledge and just about to plunge into madness.
60
61 “I wish that I could cry,
62 Fall upon my knees.
63 Find a way to lie,
64 About a home I’ll never see.”
65
66 His image was so close to shattering and no one noticed. Not the
67 Irregulars that he spent so much time stalking nor his comrades back at the
68 Irregular Hunters. In the end, they were no different. They were all lonely souls,
69 fighting for their beliefs in an endless war that seemed to spiral out with him at
70 it’s very core. He didn’t know how much time he could keep fighting. His will
71 was slipping. After Iris’s death, he had to rethink just what he was fighting for.
72 And he still didn’t know. X. But one day he would have to kill X to save
73 everything. And he would do it in an eye blink. But in doing so, he would be
74 killing himself as well, finally breaking the last pieces of whatever lay in his
75 cold heart. And he would finally allow himself to cry. To fully realize the
76 atrocities he had seen and been a part of. He still didn’t have any idea who he
77 was. He had played so many parts over the last few years. Mentor, friend, lover,
78 comrade, enemy. And throughout it all, he kept up the charade, always
79 wondering how much longer he had before it slipped from his fingers entirely.
80 He was running out of time. And he was no closer to finding out who he really
81 was.
82
83 “It may sound absurd,
84 But don’t be naïve.
85 Even heroes have the right to bleed.
86 I may be disturbed,
87 But won’t you concede?
88 Even heroes have the right to dream.
89 And it’s not easy to be me.”
90
91 Zero didn’t know how long he could keep fighting. He couldn’t run
92 much further. The demons were right on his heels, about to drag him down and
93 finish him, to stop him from his pointless war. He knew it was only a matter of
94 time before it was over. He thought he had grown numb to the battles, to the
95 war, but he found himself growing distasteful of it, getting a sick taste in his
96 mouth at the thought of battles to come. He had tried so hard to portray himself
97 as a warrior, but even he couldn’t last forever. He needed a rest before his weary
98 soul collapsed entirely. The fighting had taken its toll on the blond robot.
99 Despite his best efforts, he knew that his time was almost spent. That thought
100 gave him pause. Should he carry on? Was this really worth the effort? If he
101 stopped running, would he finally have to face his past and the demons inside of
102 himself? Was it impossible for him to ever get the peace he longed for? Or did
103 he only live to fight? In which case, he may just welcome his death.
104
105 “Up, up, and away...
106 Away from me.
107 Well it’s all right.
108 You can all sleep sound tonight.
109 I’m not crazy.
110 Or anything.”
111
112 A damaged Irregular attempting to drag itself away caught his eye as he
113 stood on the edge. With a swift shot of his Z-Buster, the Irregular fell silent. He
114 had accomplished his mission. But at what cost? What separated the Hunter
115 from the hunted? When would the distinction blur to the point where it no longer
116 existed? X was still grounded firmly in his pacifism, trying to cling to peace
117 with all of his dear little heart. But Zero knew full well the dangerous line he
118 was treading. He and Sigma had switched places on which side of the dance
119 between Hunters and Irregulars they were both on, after all. Zero had originally
120 been the Irregular, but now he was the one hunting Sigma. How long before
121 there was nothing at all to distinguish between the two anymore? With every
122 battle, it was an inner struggle to keep balanced on the fine line separating them.
123 But there was something deep inside of him that he had struggled to control for
124 years now. And his steel grip on it was weakening. He’d already lost Iris,
125 Colonel, and Teal to the war. What would he do if he lost X? Could he afford to
126 lose his last tie to sanity?
127
128 “I can’t stand to fly.
129 I’m not that naïve.
130 Men weren’t meant to ride,
131 With clouds between their knees.”
132
133 Every single day, Zero stepped out to confront the ugly conflict that
134 threatened to tug the population of earth apart. He was always in the middle of
135 the worst possible situations, getting his hands dirty in whatever needed to be
136 solved. But he was only one man. And he was so tired... He’d already seen and
137 done more than anyone ever should have to. It was too much. It was burying
138 him alive and he couldn’t claw his way back to the surface. It was slowly
139 crushing him under the immensity of it all. He knew that he would fall soon
140 enough under that weight. It was simply too much for him to bear. He just
141 wasn’t strong enough. All of his faith was placed in X, that the blue robot would
142 somehow be able to put right what he couldn’t, that he could survive the trip into
143 madness that Zero was starting to fail at.
144
145 “I’m only a man,
146 In a silly red sheet.
147 Digging for Kryptonite on this one way street.”
148
149 Holding his Z-Saber tightly, he looked down to the ruined city below.
150 He was designed and built to be a war machine, to kill. Whoever had made him
151 had planned for him to fight. And so that’s what he was doing. Parts could be
152 added, pieces could be fixed. But his creator had forgotten the most important
153 piece of all. His soul was being worn down by the constant brutality, the
154 constant insanity that surrounded his every waking moment. No, he may be a
155 war machine, but that didn’t mean anything about the man inside. He was
156 foolish to be out here trying for a victory that he knew would never come. The
157 vicious cycle would continue on forevermore. There was only so much he could
158 take before the burden became too much.
159
160 “Only a man,
161 In a funny red sheet.
162 Looking for special things inside of me.
163 Inside of me.
164 Inside of me.
165 Yeah.
166 Inside of me.
167 Inside of me.”
168
169 What was inside the war machine? What was he besides a killer? He
170 knew X could answer that, but the answers eluded him in the cold night. He
171 knew he was weak and tired. But he couldn’t rest now. There was still so much
172 to be done. Too bad he wouldn’t be around for the end of it. He had won this
173 battle, but it would only be a downward spiral from there. Coming forth
174 victorious from battle didn’t always mean he had made it through unscathed. He
175 may be able to continue winning in his fight with the Irregulars, but his mind
176 couldn’t take much more. The shell was about to crack and get to the soft insides
177 of his soul. Just who was he? Had he really made a difference? Was he more
178 than the war machine that everyone presumed he was? Everyone but X. But
179 even with the smaller robot’s faith in him, he wasn’t quite so sure of himself. He
180 didn’t think he could last much longer. He hoped that X would understand. He
181 couldn’t stay around for him, no matter how much he wanted to.
182
183 “I’m only a man
184 In a funny red sheet.
185 I’m only a man looking for a dream.
186 I’m only a man
187 In a funny red sheet.
188 And it’s not easy...”
189
190 It was almost over. He didn’t have a lot of time left. He needed to
191 figure things out for himself. Who he was and what was deep inside of him. His
192 fight was almost over. But before it was, he would have to confront his past. A
193 shiver went through him as his eyes shut tight, trying to keep back the torrent of
194 emotions breaking through his cold exterior. Just a little further. He had to push
195 himself a little further before he could call it quits. He didn’t know if he could
196 last that long. But he knew he had to try.
197
198 “It’s not easy to be me...”
199
200 Zero turned from the flames, walking silently into the night. His helmet
201 hung limply from his fingers. Fighting didn’t hold anymore appeal to him
202 tonight. He was sick. All he wanted was to go back ‘home’ and rest. And try
203 desperately to hold himself together. Just a little longer.