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[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Dear Sakura
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
5
6 Waiting for the taxi to take him to the airport, Syaoran worked up
7 the courage to tell his mother about the trip. Since he was a small
8 child, the Illustrious Head of the August House of Li had frightened
9 him. He grew up secretly envious of his sisters, whom Ieran indulged
10 extravagantly. His portion of love seemed meager and sparse, and
11 nothing he did could satisfy or please her. Her training in the
12 martial and magical arts was harsh and exacting. Though not so
13 thorough as to enable him to beat his cousin, he thought through his
14 pain with a wince. Once he had asked her in tears why she was so mean
15 to him. For a brief instant he saw her face soften with pity, but
16 then the aloof and impassive countenance returned. She told him he
17 was the successor to the House of Li, the most noble and powerful
18 family in all of Hong Kong. Therefore, he must be strong, or the
19 House would suffer when he rose to lead it. At first he had hated the
20 training, and the pain, and the constant sense that what he did was
21 never quite enough. Why couldn't he be like his sisters, enjoying
22 the tender affection of a Mother, instead of a scorned and neglected
23 son? In the end, he realized that only by measuring up to her lofty
24 standards could he please her, and win her love. So, he dedicated his
25 young life to perfecting the requisite skills to become the most
26 powerful of sorcerers. When she sent him to Japan to investigate the
27 presence of Clow Reed's long lost cards, he went determined to
28 succeed. But did not. He had failed.
29
30 Looking at the bed he shared with his wife, he felt a spasm of pure
31 anger. She had bested him, capturing the Cards with ridiculous ease.
32 A girl. A Japanese schoolgirl had turned out to be the successor to
33 the mightiest magician in the entire world. Nearly overmastered by
34 his fear of failure, he dreaded returning to Hong Kong. But instead
35 of rage he met indifference, as if she regarded the turn of events as
36 unsurprising and trivial. Indeed, when the girl showed up in Hong
37 Kong his mother treated her as an honored guest, even bestowing a
38 farewell kiss. It shocked and irritated him, but he knew enough to
39 see that his mother now recognized the girl as Mistress of the Cards.
40 Before leaving again for Japan, he asked her why she had conceded so
41 much to such a silly girl. She looked at him with a rare fury, and
42 for a moment he thought she would actually strike him. Angrily she
43 told him never again to show such disrespect to the Mistress of the
44 Cards. He was fortunate beyond his worth to act as her servant, she
45 said, and from now on should remember his proper place. Crushed at
46 first, he came to accept his role as Sakura's helper, and even found
47 himself attracted to the girl. His love for the mysterious, fair-
48 haired Yukito waned as he and Sakura captured and transmuted the
49 Cards. The more the two Cardcaptors were together, the stronger his
50 love waxed. It pleased him that she accepted his help, and he gloried
51 in the knowledge that without him she would have failed time and
52 again. It was obvious she needed him, and her frantic race to deliver
53 the teddy bear before he flew back to Hong Kong showed her love as
54 well.
55
56 As love grew across the distance, he felt for the first time in his
57 life the power he had always desired. Unlike his mother, Meiling, or
58 even his teasing older sisters, Sakura depended on him. Yet it wasn't
59 until the Daidouji girl mentioned marriage that the thought of making
60 her his wife occurred to him. She was right, of course, for they were
61 meant to be together. With that, the Mistress of the Cards was his,
62 and everything came full circle. This marriage was right, despite
63 what Meiling and their Grandfather and even his Mother thought. H had
64 captured the heart of Clow Reed's successor. This was the mark of his
65 true power. Of course, it had still been, well, difficult to break
66 the news to his Mother. Thus, the marriage took place in Japan, with
67 no notice given to his own kin. After a month's honeymoon, he
68 returned to Hong Kong to face his Mother's wrath. Surprisingly, she
69 showed no sign of anger; seemingly regarding what was done as done.
70 She treated Sakura with the same cold aloofness as her son, which
71 was, he thought, a fitting and proper relationship for a mother-in-
72 law and her unworthy daughter-in-law. All seemed well until that
73 meddlesome Daidouji girl had come and upset everything. The
74 nondescript girl was at everyone's center of attention, and even
75 merited a grander banquet than his own bride. Not that his clueless
76 spouse would care about such things, he brooded. When he asked his
77 sister why Mother had put on such a splendid banquet for some little
78 rich girl from Japan, Fanren looked at him with a shocked contempt he
79 had never seen her show. She said that Mother had done a long and
80 complex water prophecy, and that the woman was of overwhelming
81 importance to the House of Li. She asked him sharply that if Mother
82 had so determined, did he think she deserved any less? He snorted his
83 derision, remaining baffled by his family's treatment of a mere
84 friend of his wife. But now he wondered about her importance, because
85 it seemed she was at the root of his flighty wife's sudden
86 disappearance. That would cast her in a new light entirely, for
87 whoever stood in the way of the Heir to the House of Li was an enemy
88 to be struck down without mercy.
89
90 The righteous anger he had worked up vanished like a morning mist as
91 he stood on the threshold of his Mother's study. Swallowing his fear
92 as best he could, he knocked softly. After informing the idiotic
93 flying teddy bear that he had to tell his Mother he was leaving, the
94 so-called Beast of the Seal laughingly promised to rescue him if he
95 didn’t return in half an hour. From deep within he heard his mother's
96 silken, iron voice answer his knock,
97
98 "Come in."
99
100 Syaoran entered, eyes adjusting to the dim candlelight that
101 illuminated the windowless room. She was hunched over a yellowed
102 scroll etched in odd, shimmering characters. He felt his stomach
103 tighten with the realization he was interrupting her research.
104 Clearing his throat, he managed to stammer out,
105
106 "Sakura is gone."
107
108 His Mother slowly turned to face him, taking off a pair of delicate
109 spectacles as she carefully regarded him. In a calm, quiet voice that
110 demanded attention, she asked, "What do you mean, gone?"
111
112 He looked at the floor, feeling the helplessness of childhood wash
113 over him again. Trying to sound like a concerned husband baffled by a
114 hopeless wife, he answered, "I don't know for sure, but I think she
115 went back to Japan. I think it has something to do with the Daidouji
116 girl."
117
118 He peeked up and saw his Mother smiling at him. Like a snake ready
119 to strike, he thought, and felt anger and fear at his helplessness.
120 Smiling, she purred,
121
122 "Yes, I know."
123
124 Startled, he blurted out, "Then why didn't you tell me? Why did she
125 go like that?"
126
127 Gazing at him like a long-suffering teacher with a particularly
128 dense pupil, she replied flatly, "As for the latter, I don't know,
129 exactly. As for why I didn't tell you, it is for the good of the
130 House that you not interfere. And for your good, too, for that
131 matter."
132
133 His anger overmastered his caution, and in a demanding voice he shot
134 back, "How can she do this to me? She can't leave me like this."
135
136 His Mother regarded him silently, letting his anger surge, and then
137 dissipate, leaving him flustered and faintly ridiculous. She spoke in
138 a neutral tone, again the patient teacher, "Syaoran, she should never
139 have been here in the first place. If that woman can undo the damage
140 you have wrought, a thousand banquets would not suffice for my
141 gratitude."
142
143 Syaoran starred with wide eyes and open mouth. Utterly at a loss for
144 words, he slumped into the nearest chair, forgetting the etiquette of
145 standing in the presence of the Head of the House. Had he not been so
146 stunned, the trembling young man might have detected a trace of pity
147 in her voice as she continued,
148
149 "You thought you never asked for my permission to wed because I
150 would have said no, as indeed I would have. But you yourself also
151 knew it was wrong, or you would have stood up to me for what was
152 right. That is how I raised you, and for all your flaws that is how
153 you are. Your courage comes from doing what is right, but you married
154 secretly, like a coward. That in itself doomed you both, but it was
155 even worse than that. You were graced by fortune to be servant to the
156 Mistress of the Cards. For someone of your meager strength, that was
157 a far better portion than you deserved. But you wanted more. You
158 lusted for power you could not have. That explains your attraction to
159 Yue in his false form, and your selfish desire to make Clow Reed’s
160 noble successor your humble wife. All this without a single thought
161 of the consequences for her, or this House, or even yourself. It is
162 said there is nothing more dangerous than a weak fool. You have
163 proved the sage wise by your reckless actions."
164
165 Syaoran burned with humiliation at his Mother's words. He stared at
166 the floor, and replied in a voice laced with anger, "She loves me.
167 And I love her."
168
169 The cold fury of his Mother's rejoinder shook him, "Don't speak to
170 me of 'love'. You have no conception of what you are saying. Sakura
171 loves everyone. That is her nature. But you love her power, not her.
172 That “Daidouji girl”, as you call her, could teach you a lesson in
173 what real love is. She cheerfully sacrificed her life for the one she
174 loves. What did you sacrifice? Like a greedy miser, you could only
175 take what you longed for, without a thought or care for anyone but
176 yourself."
177
178 Ieran sighed, feeling the mounting weight of years and
179 responsibilities. Her whispery voice was almost plaintive, "Why
180 didn't you ask me? You at least owed me that much, though perhaps it
181 would not have mattered in the end. How can a blind man see the cliff
182 that approaches?'
183
184 The two sat silent in the near dark for several long minutes.
185 Syaoran fought back tears as he finally whispered, "I know she loves
186 me."
187
188 Ieran's voice was surprisingly gentle, "Pray that she knows her
189 heart at last, and that it is not to late for all of us."
190
191 Watching her son carefully, the woman rose and walked lightly to the
192 door, locking it with a heavy metallic chungk. Striding to the center
193 of the room, she stood in front of a golden bowl filled with water.
194 Gesturing for her son to stand by the bowl across from her, she
195 softly began to sing and chant. Syaoran, recognizing the words of a
196 powerful and dangerous spell, felt a ripple of fear as his Mother
197 waved her hands above the shimmering surface. The bowl began to
198 vibrate and sing in odd harmony with her voice. The young man stood
199 silent, in awe of the magic that billowed through the room. He felt
200 an odd metallic tang in his mouth, and caught an overripe scent of
201 something both sweet and foul. His eyes made out vague shapes in the
202 water, flickering images like projections on a liquid movie screen.
203 He strained to see the figures as they coalesced, and was startled to
204 see Sakura dressed all in white, like mourner. Her sudden wailing
205 chilled him, as if she were some mindless animal in agony. Like a
206 madwoman she beat her hands bloody on a dark gravestone, and then he
207 saw himself pulling her away as she keened and sobbed. The image
208 shifted and blurred, and next he saw the Card Mistress dressed in an
209 odd, half-finished costume, like that girl used to sew for her. The
210 Cards danced about her, chained with iron, howling in pain as she
211 swept the air with her staff. The staff had become a monstrous
212 scythe, fiery and alive, infused with a cruel and vengeful will. Her
213 magic roiled and blossomed in an obscene wave of sheer power. The
214 emerald eyes were blank and dull, but amidst the terrible storm he
215 heard her lifeless voice,
216
217 "Bring her back to me."
218
219 This vision swiftly gave way to a horrifying vista of destruction,
220 as the house he had grown up in was torn apart by the furious
221 tempest. Soon other buildings were swept into the maelstrom, and the
222 entire City was consumed in a holocaust of wind and fire. The last
223 image was a graveyard, stones and bodies torn from the groaning earth
224 and swept into the throbbing, black sky. He fell back, faint and
225 sick, staggering to the wall where he slumped to the floor and
226 cowered in fear. His Mother struggled with the spell, and in a
227 supreme effort banished the awful images to wherever they had come.
228 Pale drained, she managed to walk imperiously and confront her son.
229 Her voice was shaky but still commanding,
230
231 "Since your ill-begotten marriage I have lived with this nightmare.
232 Pray to all the spirits of our illustrious ancestors that it remains
233 but a dream. Now, leave me."
234
235 As her son walked unsteadily out the door, the woman dropped to the
236 chair and held her head with shaking hands. Blanketed by the
237 throbbing pain of a merciless headache, her mind was consumed in
238 black hatred,
239
240 "Damn you, Clow Reed. Damn you for all you have done."
241
242 Syaoran walked down the hallway, the shock of what he had seen
243 slowly wearing off. His anger surged anew, fed by a righteous rage at
244 his abandonment by Sakura, and by the Daidouji woman's stealing her
245 away. Under his breath the defiant husband resolved,
246
247 "I'll bring her back. She loves me. She's mine."
248
249