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[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Dear Sakura
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
5
6 In the garden, Sakura sat on the stone bench and gazed up into the
7 night sky. She was ineffably happy, but couldn't stop crying. At last
8 she understood. The auburn-haired woman loved Tomoyo more than anyone
9 in the world. She always loved her, but never knew. So many things
10 finally made sense: embarrassed feelings around her adoring friend,
11 the tortured longings suffered since arriving in Hong Kong, and the
12 sheer joy of seeing the lavender-haired woman again. And then, there
13 was the kiss that filled her soul with fire and light. No, kisses,
14 she thought blushingly. Tomoyo kissing her on this very spot, and
15 Sakura kissing the lovely girl as they danced. Kisses. She touched
16 her lips with trembling fingers. When they kissed the world melted
17 away, leaving only the two of them. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a
18 crimson blush creep up her neck, coloring her delicate cheek. I want
19 to kiss her again, she thought. Again, and again, and again.
20
21 Most people lucky enough to realize their true love begin to
22 consider how their feelings fit into the complex calculus of human
23 relations. They worry about other lovers, wives or husbands, jobs and
24 money, threats and opportunities. Had Sakura considered all this, it
25 might have shaken her gentle, genki spirit. She was married and far
26 away from her true love. Tomoyo, she thought, was in love with
27 someone else entirely, traveling a path that took her further and
28 further away. Were she to cast a cold, clear eye on the situation,
29 her trickling tears of happiness might quickly become a river of
30 grief and regret. But Sakura's greatest power, that everything would
31 be all right, was no mere facade, or posture, or consolation. It was
32 who she was. So, sitting on the bench she felt joy and elation, not
33 worry and fear. Only knowing the agony that Tomoyo was even then
34 enduring might have shaken the heart of the little Cardmistress. But
35 of that pain, she was unaware, save for the dim echoes of a distant
36 dream. For Sakura true love, once unlocked, was a source of utter
37 bliss.
38
39 She stayed in that spot for hours, as if some magic lingered from
40 her discovery of love. She marveled that in all those years with
41 Tomoyo it had never occurred to her before. She shook her head and
42 smiled, feeling slightly foolish, as she always did when something
43 simple that had eluded her finally came clear. But for all that, it
44 was she who had finally realized her own feelings. How strange that
45 the love in her heart was so different from what she and everyone
46 else had thought her love should be. Her friends had nudged her in
47 the direction of Syaoran, and she had accepted the rightness of their
48 wisdom. Not that she blamed them. If fault there was it was hers, for
49 not knowing what she should have known in the first place. And she
50 did like Syaoran; loved him, even. But it was more like the love felt
51 for a friend. Her love for Tomoyo was unique, unlike anything else in
52 her life. No joy or happiness could compare to the exquisite
53 sweetness of this realization. And Sakura felt a tiny light of pride
54 that she herself had come to understand what no one else did. But
55 then, she really owed this new found knowledge to Dark and Light-
56 sama's insistence that only she could solve the riddle of her
57 feelings. Remembering this, she felt a sickening shame for arrogantly
58 demanding they reveal her true feelings. Glancing up at the stars
59 dotting the velvet sky, she sensed for the very first time the dread
60 burden of her distant ancestor, Clow Reed. A burden she now shared.
61
62 By capturing and transmuting the Cards, Sakura possessed an
63 incalculable power. Confronting Light and Dark, she had threatened
64 the use of that power to cow the will of another. She came perilously
65 close to forcing the beautiful but haughty Light sama to do her
66 bidding. Even then, poised on the brink, she sensed the unease and
67 fear that her power commanded. What would have happened had Dark-sama
68 not intervened? Here was the night's second realization, but it felt
69 very different form the joy of discovering her true love. Gazing at
70 the garden, Sakura watched the beautiful plants and flowers
71 shimmering in the moonlight. Once she had complimented her father on
72 his garden, and asked him how he made the plants so pretty. Smiling,
73 he told her that he couldn't make them do anything, and would only
74 hurt them if he tried,
75
76 "They want to grow and be lovely all by themselves. I just have to
77 be here and help them do what they want." As with flowers, so with
78 magic. Sakura swore never again to use her power to dominate another
79 will. She vaguely sensed where this dark path would lead, and the
80 realization chilled her. Closing her eyes, she vowed never again to
81 take a single step along so frightful a path. In fact, she would
82 start by apologizing again to Dark and Light-sama, thanking them for
83 allowing her to make her own discovery of love.
84
85 When she had returned to the room and summoned them forth, Dark and
86 Light regarded her stumbling apologies with smiling grace. Finally,
87 Light spoke up in a glowing voice that lit Tomoyo's guestroom,
88 "Sakura-chan has learned two wonderful things tonight! Remember this
89 lesson, but do not allow it to dim your bright spirit."
90
91 Gently brushing back Sakura's hair, much as a mother would do, the
92 glimmering woman kissed her softly on the cheek. Sakura blushed and
93 glowed, and Dark-sama tittered merrily behind her hand. In a
94 whispering voice the shadowy beauty asked the little Cardmistress,
95 "Now that you know of your love for Tomoyo-chan, what are you going
96 to tell her?"
97
98 Sakura looked thoughtful and then shook her head. With a radiant
99 smile she replied, "I don't really know. I want to tell her. Aiyaaa,
100 I have to tell her! I couldn't keep something like this a secret. But
101 I don't want to do it over the phone, or in a letter. I don't know
102 when she is coming back to Hong Kong . Oh, oh, maybe I could go back
103 home for a visit, back to Tomoeda, I mean. I really miss my family,
104 and was hoping to visit for Christmas, anyway. I could tell her
105 then!"
106
107 Sakura remembered all the wonderful Christmases of the past. She
108 remembered decorating the tree, perched precariously on a ladder as
109 her pink-robed friend plugged in the lights. The tree blazed forth a
110 rainbow of light, bathing the girls in multicolored hues as they
111 snuggled together and sipped hot cocoa. She remembered hearing
112 Tomoyo's beautiful voice in the Christmas Concerts, sweet and strong.
113 Though Tomoyo said she sang for the one she loved, everyone shared in
114 the blessing of hearing her glorious voice. Finally, Sakura thought
115 of all the delightful presents the dark-haired girl had given her.
116 Each was carefully chosen, an offering of love from her very best
117 friend, brightly wrapped with beautiful paper, skillfully tied up
118 with satiny bows and ribbons.
119
120 "This will be my Christmas present to her," Sakura said happily, "so
121 she knows that someone loves her more than anyone else in the world."
122 She blushed as she thought of the two of them under the mistletoe.
123 She longed to kiss Tomoyo, and caught her breath at the memory of
124 those petal-soft lips. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a crimson flush
125 of embarrassment blending with her blushing desire, and smiled
126 sheepishly as Dark and Light laughed and smiled.
127
128 The three talked long into the night, Sakura gaily recounting her
129 adventures with Tomoyo while the two regal women listened and giggled
130 like little girls, their hearts thrilled at the sheer joy of their
131 Mistress' discovery. Finally, after recounting the wonderful night
132 she dined and danced with her friend on the eve of her departure,
133 Sakura jumped up in a burst of inspiration. Chanting the words of
134 power, she summoned forth Flower, who appeared amidst a burst of
135 scented blossoms. Grinning, Sakura bowed low, and Flower graciously
136 accepted the offer to dance.
137
138 The two swirled about the guest room, magically expanded to a dance
139 floor that stretched to infinity. Holding Flower close, Sakura cried,
140 half in joy and half in longing, remembering the pale girl nestled in
141 her arms. In memory was pain and promise, a world that lingered in
142 her heart. Sakura's tears dotted the air like sparkling diamonds.
143 Tomoyo was far away, yet with her still, and ever would be. As she
144 danced, Sakura felt the delicate softness of Flower's supple body
145 underneath the taffeta frills of her elaborate costume. She ached to
146 hold her pale friend close, to kiss her and caress her and unlock all
147 of Love’s secrets. She yearned for Tomoyo, for that perfect intimacy
148 they shared when they were together. She loved Tomoyo beyond words,
149 thought, and life itself. As she hugged Flower tightly, the sweet
150 pain of separation tore at her heart. Twirling in a storm of petals,
151 Sakura danced to remember, and to forget, and for the sheer joy of
152 music and motion. She caught the eyes of her partner, and they
153 shimmered like the trembling dew that clings to a rose in early morn.
154 Suddenly, a wave of love crashed over Sakua, drowning her as she
155 cried for a woman far across the sea.
156
157 "Tomoyo-chan," she sobbed, over and over, "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-
158 chan." The ecstasy and pain of a longing heart was hers at last.
159 Sakura wept until Dark-sama gently caressed her brow and brought the
160 peace of sleep. She slumbered dreamily on the silken quilt that had
161 graced her beloved friend. The three women stood around their
162 Mistress, watching over her, and smiling through their magical
163 tears.
164
165 Sakura awoke entangled in dreams, slow to realize just where she
166 was. Catching the faint, lingering scent of Tomoyo, she blushingly
167 realized the place she had slept. Smiling, she stretched and rose,
168 looking out the window into the bright light of day. It's so late,
169 she thought with a start, and then remembered with relief that it was
170 Saturday. Her mind wandered to the night before, to her wonderful
171 discovery, and the delightful night with Dark-sama, Light-sama, and
172 Flower. As the luscious ache of love gripped her again, she felt
173 unbearably happy and unbearably sad. Hugging herself tightly, she
174 whispered the name, "Tomoyo-chan", just to hear the sound of it.
175 Smiling, she sang to herself, "The mail should have come by now.
176 Maybe there's a letter!"
177
178 Jumping up, she raced down the hallway and saw white envelopes
179 stuffed in the little whicker basket. Excitedly rifling through them,
180 she recognized with joy and delight the creamy color that marked
181 Tomoyo's letters. With trembling hands she opened it, eager to hear
182 the voice of her friend within. Too thrilled to wait, she began
183 reading where she stood. But one word changed her blithe happiness to
184 a terrible uncertainty: goodbye. She read it over and over, but
185 could not comprehend. Goodbye. She stared at the paper, as if it was
186 written in some indecipherable language: "Sakura-chan, I'm very
187 sorry, but I'll be going away soon. ...Goodbye, Sakura-chan."
188 Finally, the meaning wound it's way to her heart, and she dropped to
189 the floor, stunned.
190
191 On her knees she closed her eyes and whispered shakily, "No." Tomoyo
192 was leaving her, forever. She wanted to scream, but so deep was the
193 shock that she could only whimper. Her body tensed as a spasm of
194 terror shook her. Goodbye. Desolation welled up within, and her
195 vision grayed and narrowed, as if she were falling into a long, dark
196 tunnel. She teetered on the brink of fainting, but was suddenly drawn
197 back. Clenching her fists, a determined heart pounding in her chest,
198 she whispered again, but this time in a firm and steely voice,
199
200 "No."
201
202 She stood up, swaying and unsteady, gripping the armoire for
203 support. Seeing the nearby phone, she walked over and dialed a number
204 she knew by heart. A woman's voice answered,
205
206 "Daidouji residence, may I help you?"
207
208 Sakura's voice was precise and even, "Is Daidouji Tomoyo home?"
209
210 "No, Ma'am, she is out. May I take a message for her when she
211 returns?"
212
213 Sakura lowered the phone, which disconnected with a click. She
214 hesitated but a second, and then called the airport, booking the
215 first flight to Tokyo. Then she called her brother, and after the
216 briefest hello requested a ride. He was too startled to tease her,
217 let alone ask what was going on. After she confirmed her flight and
218 time, he scowled after she hung up with a curt goodbye. The final
219 call was for a taxi, which would arrive in a few minutes. Sprinting
220 to her room, she threw a few things into her duffle bag from school,
221 and began to rush out. But her eyes fell on the half-finished costume
222 Tomoyo had left, and impulsively she grabbed it and placed it gently
223 in the bag. The brassy honking of a car echoed down the hallway as
224 she ran. One of the maids stood in a doorway and gaped as she flew
225 by. With a sudden stop, she pivoted and ran back to the startled
226 girl. Sakura realized with embarrassment that she had forgotten her
227 name. With a smile she bowed and said all in a rush,
228
229 "Please tell Ieran-sama I had to fly to Japan. I'll call when I
230 arrive. Thank you!"
231
232 With that, she burst out the door to the waiting taxi, leaving the
233 speechless maid behind.
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