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date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Dear Sakura
2 Darlest Before the Dawn
3 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
4 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
5 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
6
7 Like a dolphin emerging from crystal blue water, Sakura exited a
8 small changing room with her usual energetic spirit. She smiled
9 beautifully into the camcorder capturing her image, looking only
10 mildly embarrassed. Her cheeks reddened ever so slightly as she
11 twirled with all of the grace that years of athletics had granted
12 her, her pumpkin colored pleated skirt twirling with her. Like a
13 professional dancer, her movement was smooth and captivating. The
14 camera angle remained constant, a memory frozen in time. Sakura
15 paused at last, smiling once again into the camera. Diamond tears
16 sparkled nearly imperceptibly at the corners of her emerald eyes.
17 After curtsying cutely, the brunette excused herself back into the
18 cramped changing room. The camcorder fell to the side as its owner
19 hurried near the small room concernedly. It had only been for a brief
20 second, possibly nothing more than a trick of the mind. But if there
21 was a single thing that Tomoyo could claim to be an expert in, it was
22 the usually genki brunette on the other end of the door.
23 “Sakura-chan, are you all right?” the camcorder’s owner asked
24 worriedly, only a short distance from the door that separated them.
25 Pale fingers moved in front of the camera’s line of sight, touching
26 briefly on the wood frame, wishing that she could dismiss it to get
27 to the girl inside. No, the woman inside. They weren’t children
28 anymore. And she was no longer the one to share in Sakura’s feelings.
29 If Sakura didn’t wish to tell her, then she had no right to pry.
30 “Hai,” a shaky voice replied from inside, one obviously trying to
31 cover recent tears. “I’ll be out in just a minute.”
32
33 With a touch of a button, the images before her dispersed into
34 darkness. Tomoyo sat in her dimly lit room, still staring at the now
35 blank screen that had held the vision of her darling Sakura. It was
36 from one of her last tapes, one she had taken during her trip to Hong
37 Kong. And one of the most disturbing. What had gotten to Sakura? What
38 had brought her sudden tears? It had only been the second day of
39 Tomoyo’s visit and they had spent many hours talking the night before
40 so it could very well have been a mixture of sleep deprivation and
41 the shock of finally being with her best friend again. But Tomoyo had
42 slowly begun to suspect something else as the cause of the tears. It
43 had to do with her videotaping Sakura again, of that she was certain.
44 Sakura had always been embarrassed when she would videotape her, but
45 this time there had been something else as well. Almost a sense of
46 relief from the gorgeous brunette, as if she was glad to be the focus
47 of Tomoyo’s camcorder once more. The tears had looked so sad, so
48 lonely. It tore at Tomoyo’s heart to know that they had to grace the
49 Cardmistress at all. So what did this mean? On it’s own, perhaps
50 nothing. But adding to it what had happened since and the sense of
51 longing that had been present in Sakura’s letters as of late, Tomoyo
52 could begin to make assumptions. She was on the verge of ruining
53 Sakura’s life. And she had to jump ship before that happened or she
54 would drag Sakura under with her.
55 Sakura’s understanding of her feelings for Tomoyo had always been
56 simple. Tomoyo was a good friend, someone she could trust with
57 anything, someone she could always count on, someone who would always
58 be there for her. In a way, she had never really seen Tomoyo. She
59 hadn’t looked at her, seen her for who she really was. Tomoyo had
60 always been behind the camera, and because of it, Sakura had never
61 truly understood her eccentric best friend or the feelings that went
62 along with her. But now it looked like Sakura was dangerously close
63 to understanding those feelings in an entirely new light. Tomoyo had
64 been dragged out from behind the camera by Sakura and could no longer
65 hide. Sakura had finally seen Tomoyo, had finally really looked at
66 her. That thought was deliciously exiting to Tomoyo, but it also set
67 her on the verge of tears because she knew what deeper meaning it
68 held. If Sakura began to see the love Tomoyo had held for her all
69 these years, or worse, in some way returned these feelings, it would
70 ruin her beautiful marriage and the wonderful new life she had begun.
71 She would never be able to simply reject Tomoyo. Sakura could never
72 bear to hurt her like that. It would slowly tear apart everything
73 Tomoyo had prayed for in Sakura’s life. And so Tomoyo had decided
74 long ago that it was best not to tell Sakura, that despite that
75 promise from years long past, she would not explain to Sakura when
76 they were older. It would only burden the brunette and cause
77 difficulty for her, even more so now that she was married.
78 Darkness surrounded Tomoyo, deep and all encompassing. She honestly
79 didn’t know whether or not her eyes were open, only that they stung
80 with fresh tears. A huge dilemma lay before her, and it had taken all
81 of her strength to try and come to a decision. Her heart and soul
82 argued over which course of action to take, about where her path
83 should take her. For a time, she had found it nearly impossible, lost
84 in the possibilities, surrounded by bittersweet memories that
85 beckoned her to join them. Slowly, shakily, she had reached out and
86 finally grasped onto her decision. Now all that was left was to see
87 it through to the end. In the end, it came down to the most important
88 thing in her life: Sakura’s happiness. And Tomoyo would gladly die
89 for it. She would suffer whatever was necessary to safeguard the
90 happiness of the one she loved.
91 But this was the most difficult thing she had ever done in her life.
92 Helping to get Sakura with Syaoran in the first place had offered her
93 a momentary distraction from the depth of her own feelings, allowing
94 her to concentrate on Sakura’s best interests alone. The marriage had
95 been incredibly painful for her, but it had been tinged with the
96 knowledge that Sakura would be embarking on a new life with the one
97 she loved, and that had eased her pain. But this offered no solace.
98 There was no escape from the pain this time. She merely knew that it
99 had to be done. For Sakura’s sake, and for her own. Her gingerly
100 crafted masks were beginning to betray her. Cracks had begun to
101 spiderweb through her many masks after her recent contact with
102 Sakura. They were slowly becoming undone right in front of her eyes.
103 When Sakura had seen her, had actually looked at the girl that hid
104 behind the normally smiling portrait of Tomoyo Daidouji, the masks
105 she had hidden herself behind had slowly but surely begun to shatter,
106 leaving her defenseless to the unbridled passion of her own love and
107 unable to hide it from Sakura’s curious eyes. She could no longer
108 handle the pain of watching the woman she loved happily married.
109 Sakura’s happiness meant the world to her, but watching Sakura’s
110 marriage was beginning to take its toll on the pale ghost of a woman.
111 How could she have fooled herself into thinking she could sit by and
112 watch it? Had she really thought she could quell the feelings in her
113 own heart? It would have been easier to still her heart from beating
114 than to keep the love inside at bay. She had been a fool to think
115 that her masks would be able to hide her from the pain, to think that
116 she could remain simply Sakura’s friend in a far off land as Sakura’s
117 new life took her further and further away. Not just physical
118 distance either. The dark haired girl was simply no longer necessary.
119 At one point in time, Sakura had always come to her no matter what
120 the circumstances. She had trusted Tomoyo with her fragile heart and
121 Tomoyo had done her best to take good care of it, trying to set it on
122 the right path. But now she had another to go to when she ever wanted
123 for something. Her husband was now the most important person in
124 Sakura’s life. Even then, Sakura still came to Tomoyo with surprising
125 frequency. It was yet another reason for Tomoyo’s decision. She was
126 standing in the way of Sakura’s marriage. She was an unnecessary link
127 to Sakura’s past, holding the brunette back in the face of her own
128 marriage. Syaoran was the one she should go to now. He was the one
129 that should share her pain and heal her heart. It was no longer
130 Tomoyo’s right to do so.
131 Walking through the nearly pitch black room, Tomoyo hardly noticed
132 the fire that shot through her hip as she struck something in the
133 dark while walking. Ignoring it, the pale girl moved forward through
134 the shadows. Had anyone seen her then, they may very well have
135 mistaken her for a phantom, her pale features and tear streaked face
136 appearing almost translucent in the dim moonlight. Her room,
137 practically a shrine to her darling Sakura, now felt more like a
138 tomb. Her delicate hands finally found what she was searching for,
139 settling on the desk that had served her so well in the past. Whether
140 making costumes, labeling videotapes, or simply practicing for choir,
141 it had been a patient companion. These days, there were no more
142 costumes to be made, no more videotapes to label, and no more choir
143 to practice for. It held several slips of paper and a picture frame
144 on it vast expanses.
145 Collapsing weakly into the chair, Tomoyo burst into fresh tears,
146 sobbing quietly in the darkness as she was assaulted by a fresh wave
147 of agony. Was this the only way? Could she possibly find another
148 solution? No, this was her last option. She had to go through with
149 it. She couldn’t risk Sakura’s future any longer through her own
150 selfishness. If she truly loved the other woman, she would have to
151 see this through. That finally slowed her aching sobs, though it did
152 nothing for her shredded heart. With intentional care, Tomoyo slowly
153 continued to write the address on the envelope that lay before her,
154 concentrating as best she could on each and every character. Sakura
155 had told her that her writing was beautiful. She had to make sure
156 that it was lovely for Sakura’s sake. Because Sakura deserved no less
157 and she needed to make sure that Sakura didn’t think anything was
158 wrong. If she was going to succeed, then she had to make sure that
159 the letter didn’t worry her dear friend.
160 Memories are such fragile things. They lay tentatively on the edge
161 of one’s mind. Sometimes they would fade to protect their owner.
162 Other times, time itself would take its toll on them, wearing them
163 down into nothing. But there was something that existed beyond
164 memories, not simply the images and feelings that were conjured about
165 things from the past, but a deeper flame that could never be
166 extinguished. Memories of the heart. Tomoyo knew that she could never
167 forget Sakura, that the love in her heart would never fade away. But
168 in many ways, that made it so much harder to continue forward. Even
169 then, she would never want any of it to disappear. Her tapes of
170 Sakura left her with a wonderful look back at the past, crystalline
171 moments that she could treasure. They were an extensive documentary
172 on the beautiful brunette spanning nine glorious years. Tomoyo was
173 only sorry that they had to end now. She watched her tapes over and
174 over, reliving the time spent with her beloved Sakura. And for an all
175 too brief moment, they would be together again.
176 Picking up an old costume design that she had never finished, Tomoyo
177 began to write on the back, the words gushing forth as a dam inside
178 of her finally burst open.
179
180 ‘Dear Sakura-chan,
181 As I sit here writing this, I see your beautiful face in my mind’s
182 eye, your sweet smile sending ripples throughout the stormy ocean of
183 my soul. I know that you may hate me for this, and though I could
184 hardly bear the thought of you ever hating me, I know that I must go
185 through with this. I’m not sure if I can explain why, but it doesn’t
186 really matter. Please know that you have always been the most
187 treasured thing in my life. I would never wish to hurt you. That’s
188 why I have to say goodbye.
189 Our time together in Hong Kong was like a gorgeous dream that I
190 never wished to wake up from. Even though I must finally awaken, I
191 will carry that dream with me always. Being with you was more magical
192 than any of the Cards you have in your possession. Your true power
193 doesn’t come from your magic or the Sakura Cards. It comes from the
194 indomitable force in your heart. That power has always pushed you
195 forward in life, and I was happy to be pulled along in its wake.
196 Nurturing it and helping it grow inside of you always brought a smile
197 to my lips. But now you have outgrown me. You no longer need my
198 helpful hand in the way. Like a mother watching her child venture out
199 into the world, it’s time that I let you go forth on your own. Please
200 don’t worry. I know that you must be thinking it isn’t so, that
201 there’s still some use for me. But I have seen you grow and mature
202 into a beautiful woman. Strong, confident, courageous. Sweet,
203 innocent, gentle. All of the qualities that so enamored me with you
204 for all of these years. You no longer need my love and support to go
205 forward. These are now within your own heart. When you need that
206 extra bit of love and encouragement, I know you will be able to find
207 it in your husband. So though tears dot this letter, please know that
208 I leave you in capable hands. I have always trusted you with all my
209 heart. I know that wherever your path in life leads, you will be able
210 to handle the roads ahead with ease. Nothing can hold back the lovely
211 and unstoppable Sakura-chan!
212 I know that I promised you long ago that I would explain what I
213 meant about the differences in our love when you were older. I’m
214 sorry that I never did. I thought that it would only interfere with
215 your life, with your feelings for Syaoran. I knew that you wouldn’t
216 be able to reject me outright. Your heart is too kind for that. And
217 in doing so, you may have ruined your chances at the marriage you now
218 find yourself in. So I will explain right here, where there is no
219 fear of the rejection you wouldn’t have put me through or the damage
220 it could have caused. All is already said and done, so this is merely
221 an afterthought, an explanation so perhaps you may understand your
222 best friend a little better and why I acted the way I did for all of
223 the years you’ve known me. Years ago, you were only a child of ten at
224 the time, I told you that I loved you. You said that you loved me,
225 too. It was so cute to hear you say that. You always were an
226 extremely sweet girl, Sakura-chan. My heart swelled to hear your
227 words, even though I knew you didn’t understand what I meant. I told
228 you that our love was different, that I would explain when you were
229 older. I’m sorry for taking so long to deliver my promise to you.
230 Love is such a vast and varied thing. There are so many depths and
231 intricacies that sometimes make it almost impossible to discern. I
232 know that you yourself have had difficulty understanding the
233 different forms of love in the past. Our love is very different from
234 each other’s love. You love Syaoran as your prince, your one True
235 Love, as your other half. You love me as your friend, your confidant,
236 and as a sister. I love you as my prince, my one True Love, my other
237 half. That is why I always wanted you to know how much I cared about
238 you, why I tried to show my love for you in everything I did, even if
239 you loved another. You are my special someone, Sakura-chan, the one
240 who captured my heart so long ago. Videotaping you, designing
241 costumes for you, even simply watching you filled my heart with joy.
242 Love can be an extremely strong force and it has had me in its grasp
243 for quite a long time now. I am lost to it, but I would never wish to
244 be found if it meant giving up the warmth and delight that it offers
245 me. Being in love with you has always been my fondest wish come true.
246 To love someone so charming, so enchanting, is something that most
247 people can only dream about. The way I looked at you, the way I
248 fawned over you, it was always with love in my eyes. It never once
249 mattered to me that you were a girl, though I know you didn’t
250 understand such things with the puzzled look you gave me when I tried
251 to explain my mother’s preferences. Sakura-chan is Sakura-chan.
252 Brave, beautiful, generous, genki. I love you for who you are. I
253 would never want to change you in the least. Images of you fill my
254 mind, swirling like pictures in a kaleidoscope. I love you, Sakura-
255 chan.
256 Everyone loved Sakura-chan, so I was not at all surprised that
257 someone else would eventually win your heart. I told you that I
258 wanted my special someone to be happy even if they couldn’t be with
259 me and I meant that. Your happiness means everything to me. If you
260 truly love someone, if your heart belongs completely to them, then
261 their happiness is truly your heart’s desire. Because you want the
262 person you love to be filled with joy, to live a life that will be
263 thrilling and fulfilling to them. I told you that I would be happy if
264 my special someone returned my feelings, but that their happiness was
265 what I wanted above all else. And that’s exactly how I feel. If you
266 could be happier with someone else, if someone else could bring out
267 the love in your heart, then that’s what I wanted for you. Even
268 mother feels this way, though she doesn’t entirely understand it.
269 When you were here, she explained that your father made your mother
270 happy. Mother has strong feelings against your father because he took
271 Nadeshiko-san away from her, but when she looks at you, she truly
272 knows that Nadeshiko-san was happy and that calms her spirits.
273 Because she loved Nadeshiko-san as much as I love you. Which is why I
274 know she understands my feelings for you. What she didn’t understand
275 is why I tried to push you towards Li-kun. I don’t know if you
276 understand that or not, so I will try to explain. I wanted you to be
277 happy above all else. I wanted you to fall in love with your prince,
278 to have a happy marriage, to have beautiful children, to live your
279 life to the fullest. I could tell that Li-kun was falling in love
280 with you and that the two of you got along very well. You really were
281 cute together. I wanted him to tell you and I tried to help him
282 along, to get him to express his feelings to you. I know it wasn’t
283 fair that I told him to tell you his feelings while I was silent
284 about my own, but I thought that you could be happy with him. I
285 thought he could be your one true love. As Kero-chan has said before,
286 there’s no such thing as coincidence. He was your partner, your
287 helper in Cardcapting. He protected you and was there alongside you
288 while I was hidden away behind a camera, watching it all happen. He
289 could give you a child, protect you, and love you. I thought that you
290 felt something for him as well, so I tried my hardest to help the two
291 of you along. My goal was to see Sakura-chan happily in love. I’m
292 glad that I managed to help see that come to pass. Perhaps that was
293 my part in Clow Reed’s grand plan, to help your heart grow and mature
294 and to find the love you so deserved. You’re now the most powerful
295 magician on the planet with a loving husband and an exciting new
296 life. That makes me happy. I knew my wonderful Sakura-chan could
297 accomplish anything.
298 So now I must fade away from your life, my mission finally complete.
299 Please know that I will always love you, Sakura-chan. That love will
300 never fade. I will always be by your side, my heart and soul yours to
301 command. They will always offer you their love and support. Please
302 don’t cry for me. It makes me sad when Sakura-chan’s sad. Please
303 smile and greet the new day knowing that your best friend got her
304 dearest wish in just watching you. As long as you’re happy, I will
305 be, too. Thank you so much for being my best friend, for letting me
306 into your life. Leaving it is the hardest thing I have ever done, but
307 I do so content in the knowledge that my sweet Sakura-chan is well
308 taken care of.
309
310 Farewell,
311 Daidouji Tomoyo
312
313 I’ll miss you so much, Sakura-chan.’
314
315
316 Stars sprinkled into Tomoyo’s room with barely visible pinpricks of
317 light, vaguely illuminating the half finished costume design on the
318 paper she had used to write her letter to Sakura. “Sakura-chan...”
319 her broken voice choked out, another sob wracking her small body. Her
320 hands went to her face, dark hair draping around her like a death
321 shroud as strangled sobs escaped her lips. Her heart felt like broken
322 glass, an antique accidentally knocked off a table by an overzealous
323 child, unsalvageable except for several jagged fragments. Despair
324 brushed its fingers through her hair, bringing its chilling shadow
325 across her heart. “Sakura-chan...” she whimpered again, tears falling
326 unheeded to the desk and the letter it held. What was she to do? How
327 could she live without Sakura? A midnight black thought entered her
328 mind in reply; how could she live her life with Sakura? She was close
329 to shattering completely, the cracks in her façade already becoming
330 evident. If she stayed in Sakura’s life, watched her love in her new
331 life and marriage, it would undoubtedly kill her. She hadn’t
332 understood how painful it would be as a child, hope still clinging
333 desperately to her heart at the time. ‘I knew that Sakura-chan would
334 come and rescue me,’ she had once said. No, this wasn’t her fairy
335 tale. It was Sakura’s. Which is why she had to leave it so that
336 Sakura could have her fairy tale ending and live happily ever after.
337 No matter how much it hurt her to do so, she had to go through with
338 it. For Sakura to live, she had to die. Her stormy blue eyes fought
339 back another wave of tears as her body shook painfully. Her heart
340 ached for Sakura, images of the brunette appearing vividly in her
341 mind. “Don’t you make me happy,” her musical voice got out weakly
342 before it broke.
343 Numb fingers reached out slowly, grasping the letter in shaking
344 hands. “No... I can’t send this to Sakura-chan. I can’t send this to
345 her,” her gentle voice, no more than a whisper, seemed to disappear
346 before it even reached the young heiress’s ears. She held it up in
347 the dim light, barely able to make out the picture of Sakura in a
348 costume or the painstakingly crafted characters in her letter. It was
349 too sad. It would worry Sakura. She had to fade away from Sakura’s
350 life painlessly, leaving the brunette as simply as a dream that
351 disappeared when one tried to recall it. She held the letter tightly
352 to her chest as she choked back another sob. Leaving the now crumpled
353 letter on the side of her desk, Tomoyo pulled out a fresh piece of
354 paper and began to start all over again.
355 The thought that she would never see Sakura again cut into her
356 heart like a knife, each breath burning her further. She had known
357 this time would come for years now, but now that it was finally
358 happening, its crushing weight made any step forward seem impossible.
359 “I’ll never forget you, Sakura-chan,” she whispered, placing a soft
360 kiss on a picture frame that graced her desk. The picture of Sakura
361 smiled back happily, frozen forever in her expression of joy. With a
362 swift movement that almost scared Tomoyo, she shattered the picture
363 frame against the side of the desk. Glass fell quietly to the carpet,
364 Sakura’s picture fluttering free to lay atop them. Tomoyo reached
365 down, picking up the memory from years long past. She set it gingerly
366 on the desk, her fingers trailing Sakura’s features in the
367 photograph. How she wished she could step into the picture, to turn
368 back all these years so she could spend them with Sakura once more.
369 Even if things had to turn out this way, she would love to spend even
370 one slim moment with Sakura before she slipped away forever. Her hand
371 reached down again, picking up the biggest shard of glass off of the
372 floor. She barely noticed as it cut into her palm, the warm blood
373 trickling out over it seeming to be nothing more than a daydream. She
374 had to leave Sakura’s life, she knew that. But how could she just
375 tell Sakura that she was leaving her? How could she possibly write
376 Sakura a farewell letter? The warmth of her blood slipping through
377 her fingers felt so much nicer than the bitter cold that was wrapped
378 tightly around her heart. She had to escape Sakura’s life for both of
379 their sakes. She had to. Shaky fingers clutched the shard of glass
380 tighter, it’s sharp edge driving deeper into the soft flesh of her
381 hand. “Sakura-chan...” she whispered miserably. She couldn’t write
382 the letter. She could never tell Sakura goodbye like that. It was too
383 painful. She would just escape Sakura’s life now. It would be less
384 painful for them both that way. Sakura would forget about her soon
385 enough. She would be able to watch Sakura as her guardian angel,
386 could keep an eye on her beautiful life from up above.
387 “Forgive me, Sakura-chan. Please forgive me. I love you so much.”
388 Her stormy blue eyes shut tightly, Tomoyo brought the jagged glass to
389 her wrist and concentrated on the brunette as she felt the wet shard
390 press against soft skin. Tendrils of darkness and despair snaked out,
391 wrapping tightly around her heart. This was the only way. Sakura
392 would wake up from her dream named Tomoyo soon enough. And she would
393 be happy in her new life. If she didn’t do this, Sakura’s beautiful
394 life would come tumbling down, crushing the girl that Tomoyo loved so
395 dearly. Her pain was almost over. Just another few minutes...
396 The shard of glass fell silently to the floor, a small trail of
397 blood following it. Some crimson ran down Tomoyo’s wrist, pooling on
398 her desktop. Her head slumped to the desk as she began to cry again.
399 She couldn’t. Not yet. The thought of her mother finding her, cold
400 and dead had hit her like a shockwave. She couldn’t put her mother
401 through that. Sonomi had already lost so much. That would be terribly
402 cruel to her loving mother. Even worse, the knowledge that Sonomi
403 would call Sakura to the funeral sent a terrible chill through her.
404 She wanted to die to protect Sakura, to escape this pain, but that
405 would only serve to hurt Sakura even more. No, she had to wait. She
406 would be moving out in several days. She would go someplace far away
407 and disappear from Sakura’s life forever.
408
409 “So there you are, Tomoyo-chan. I was beginning to think you’d
410 fallen asleep in front of another of your videos again,” Sonomi
411 teased, smiling at her lavender haired daughter. Tomoyo looked paler
412 than usual this morning for some reason. Her stormy blue eyes looked
413 distant, their normal sparkle gone. The head of the Daidouji
414 household gasped when she saw the bandage around Tomoyo’s right hand
415 and left wrist. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan! What happened?” Bolting up, the
416 normally overcautious mother hurried to her daughter’s side. Patches
417 of red shown through the bandages covering her daughter’s delicate
418 hand. Tomoyo was still a little shorter than Sonomi but it took all
419 of the older woman’s self-restraint not to kneel down as she had when
420 Tomoyo had been a little girl.
421 Tomoyo smiled softly, but the smile didn’t meet her eyes. The dark,
422 stormy eyes looked dead, their depths dark and unyielding. Part of
423 that frightened Sonomi. Her daughter hid so much but she had always
424 managed to see past her masks and into those very emotional blue
425 eyes. They were the same as Sonomi’s own eyes, part of the reason she
426 suspected that she could see through to her daughter’s true feelings.
427 But this time it was as if there was nothing behind them or as if
428 they were completely cut off to her. “It’s all right, okaa-sama. I
429 just hurt myself last night. I was trying to clean up some glass
430 after I accidentally knocked over a picture frame in my room. I
431 shouldn’t stay up so late watching my Sakura-chan videos. I get so
432 tired that I have a hard time concentrating.”
433 Inspecting the hand, Sonomi bit her lower lip. There was something
434 about all of this that worried her, but she couldn’t quite put her
435 finger on it. Sighing, she let go of Tomoyo’s injured hand at last.
436 Her fingers brushed back some of Tomoyo’s lavender hair. “All right,
437 but I want you to go see a doctor about that later. I don’t want
438 anything bad to happen to your lovely hand because of some glass.”
439 Nodding in agreement, Tomoyo held the letter in her other hand
440 tighter. “Hai, okaa-sama. I’ll go to the doctor later today then.”
441 Sonomi watched with growing unease as Tomoyo walked out to the
442 mailbox with the strange letter held tightly in her other hand. It
443 didn’t seem like Tomoyo to be so out of it. Her eyes usually had a
444 beautiful sparkle in them, her beautiful smile an entrancing quality
445 to it. Just what had happened to her little girl?
446 Tomoyo stood in front of the mailbox with the letter half in. Her
447 pale fingers refused to let go of the letter they held. Her heart
448 argued painfully against her still unsure mind. This was it. This was
449 the last contact she and Sakura would ever share. After this, she
450 would be all alone. Forever. “Goodbye, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo
451 whispered. Her heart screamed out in agony as the letter fell in.
452 Closing her eyes, the dark haired heiress held herself tightly. Her
453 body shook lightly as she stood there. The midmorning sun should have
454 felt refreshing, but her body felt like it was encased in ice. She
455 had to wonder if she had done the right thing. As long as Sakura was
456 happy, it wouldn’t matter. Arms wrapped around her cold body gently,
457 pulling her tightly into a hug. “Okaa-sama...?” she asked weakly. It
458 wasn’t until she felt Sonomi’s fingers brushing away her tears that
459 she realized she was crying again. “Mother..!” She grabbed onto
460 Sonomi with all of her strength, breaking down in tears in the
461 embrace of her mother.
462 Sonomi held Tomoyo, whispering soothingly as she patted the younger
463 woman’s back. “Oh, my baby girl... My poor baby girl,” the
464 heartbroken mother whispered. She held Tomoyo’s head on her shoulder,
465 closing her eyes as she continued to rub the lavender haired girl’s
466 back. Tomoyo’s body shook against her as her daughter was wracked
467 with sobs. ‘Oh, Nadeshiko-chan... This can’t be how things have to
468 turn out. This can’t be. Why my baby girl? Please... Please give me
469 an answer, Nadeshiko-chan...’