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date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Dear Sakura
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
5
6
7 Dear Tomoyo-chan,
8
9 At our house there is a vine in the garden. It has been there for
10 many years, since I was a child. Most people do not pay attention to
11 it, for it looks like a dead bush, and is overshadowed by the many
12 gaudy flowers around. it. It is called a "peniocereus gregii", or
13 Night-Blooming Cereus. When I was six, my Mother told me about this
14 flower. She told me because I was not happy so much about my
15 appearance. I did not feel as pretty as my sisters at the time, and
16 was sad. So, Mother took me into the garden and showed me this most
17 pathetic looking little plant. I remember this surprisingly well. She
18 asked me, "Fanren, what do you see here?" I told her I saw a plain
19 looking plant. She answered, "You see with the eyes of a fool, who
20 looks once and knows nothing. Watch this plant at night". In our
21 family, when Mother speaks it is wise to listen. This is true in many
22 Chinese households, you know, but is especially true in ours. I could
23 tell you many amusing stories about this.
24
25 So, in the middle of summer, with no school to worry about, I went
26 into the garden each night to watch the plant. There was nothing much
27 to see, but I was not only obedient, but also very curious. Then one
28 night, a thing most amazing happened. I had nearly fallen asleep when
29 I noticed the little buds on the twiggy stems seemed to have moved.
30 To my wonder and astonishment, they blossomed that night into the
31 most beauteous flowers I have ever seen. They were like pale stars
32 with a golden center, delicate and intricate with a fragrant scent
33 that wafted over the entire garden. I stared at them all night, at
34 that beauty which had been hidden during the day. How easy it would
35 have been to miss them entirely. It was magical to share that warm
36 summer night with the beautiful flowers, but with the first ray of
37 light at dawn the petals withered and the blossoms dropped to the
38 ground. That morning I talked to Mother, and told her of the wonder I
39 had seen. I asked her if it would bloom again that night, for I very
40 much wanted to see it once more. She shook her head, and said the
41 plant only bloomed one night every year. She said that sometimes the
42 most radient beauty is hidden away, and can only be seen by those
43 with patient hearts.
44
45 This was a good lesson for me, as I was not a patient girl. I am
46 still not the most patient of women, as my family would no doubt tell
47 you. So perhaps this lesson did not work as well as Mother may have
48 intended. But what I have always remembered is the surprise of seeing
49 such beauty so unexpectedly. I felt that delightful surprise when I
50 first saw you and Sakura-chan at our house those many years ago.
51 Aiyaaa, I do not think I have ever seen such adorable girls in all of
52 my life. And then, to my astonishment, there was Sakura's brother and
53 his most attractive companion. Such splendor was enough to break
54 one's heart. I felt like this again during your most recent visit. I
55 knew from the picture that Sakura-chan showed me that you were very
56 beautiful. I thought surely you were a model, or perhaps an actress.
57 But I was not quite prepared for you in person. Tomoyo-chan, I was
58 enchanted.
59
60 Mother can be very cruel, for when I told her this she said I am
61 always being enchanted. She is maybe perhaps right, I suppose. Mother
62 says I am too fickle, and like a bee dance about from flower to
63 flower, never working hard enough to gather any pollen. Or perhaps
64 she is frustrated that I have never married. But you are a flower
65 this little bee has been unable to forget. You are of course a most
66 beautiful woman. I do not have skill enough with words in this
67 language to speak of it properly. But seeing you kept me up at night,
68 and I longed to be with you. I have known many beautiful girls and
69 women, but most of them are tedious. Often their attractiveness is
70 dimmed by their vanity, and I quickly grow tired of their
71 companionship. But your company was delightful. You are bright, and
72 charming, and most witty. Your loveliness is so natural, as if you
73 were blithely unaware of it. Somehow that only makes you more
74 attractive.
75
76 I am sorry. I have been writing this while looking at pictures of
77 you Sakura has given me. They are quite terribly distracting, and I
78 should put them away so that I may finish this letter. But I will
79 not, because they are wonderful to look at. Thank you so very much
80 for them. Anyway, I quite fell under your spell. I appreciate that
81 you are telling me that you are bound to Sakura-chan. However, I
82 could see this for myself, as you look at her with such tender
83 regard. It is curious, because from the way Sakura-chan talked about
84 you, I had assumed the two of you were once lovers. She speaks of you
85 with such affection and awe. But oddly, she later seemed quite
86 perplexed by what I was hinting at. She is most deliciously cute when
87 she is confused about things, is she not? I was even further baffled
88 myself when I saw the two of you together during your visit. Your
89 love was most charmingly evident, but she did not seem to quite
90 understand it all. It was very baffling to me, though perhaps I
91 understand more now after your letters. Yet I wonder if anyone really
92 knows Sakura-chan's heart just now?
93
94 Thank you for your most forthright honesty. Though it is beautiful,
95 it saddens me somewhat that your love is so constant. I myself feel a
96 longing for you, and know your presence would brighten life up quite
97 a bit. But most of all I am sad for your heart that has no rest, and
98 knows such pain. Sakura herself is in a turmoil these days. She is
99 always talking about you, and sighs when she speaks your name. I have
100 heard her crying at night, in the kitchen and the garden. She misses
101 you so, and is much like a little lost child without her mother. I
102 hope that all goes well with your plan to fade away from her life.
103 What you say is very logical indeed, and must certainly be true. But
104 hearts are strange, and sometimes what we think does not seem to
105 matter to them. They are impertinent, and have their own way of
106 things. Maybe I am sympathetic with hearts, for they are like me bit,
107 yes?
108
109 Being with you was a most delightful surprise, for if our meeting
110 was as brief as the Cereus blossom, it was also as beautiful. I will
111 pray for you and Sakura-chan at the temple today. May all the gods
112 and spirits protect your hearts.
113
114
115 My best regards,
116
117 Fanren
118
119 PS- I will be in Tokyo next year, and will most gladly accompany you
120 to the local clubs in Tomoeda. Aiyaaa, I cannot wait to dance with
121 you!
122
123
124 Dear Fanren-san,
125 What you said about the Night-Blooming Cereus was beautiful. Ieran-
126 sama is a very wise and knowledgable woman. It's true that if your
127 heart is patient enough, you can find the most stunning beauty. I'm
128 very lucky that it didn't take me long to find it. But it certainly
129 caught me by surprise. I had never dreamed that I would discover such
130 a gorgeous creature on this planet, not just in her appearance, but
131 also in her shining spirit. It was almost too much for me at the
132 time. I remember coming home and lying in my bed, staring up at the
133 ceiling in amazement, my heart lost in confusion at the sheer bliss
134 that the cute girl at school had stirred within me. I didn't get much
135 sleep that night. Actually, I haven't gotten much sleep since that
136 night. There have always been costumes I have designed just so I
137 could see her in them, videotapes to watch her actions from times
138 long since passed, and thoughts of her to keep me from sleep's gentle
139 embrace.
140 But you are right. Patience is necessary to see the beauty that is
141 so often hidden right in front of us. I know that patience certainly
142 helped with Sakura-chan. Sometimes it takes her a while to understand
143 things, but I was happy to wait for realization to dawn upon her,
144 helping her gently along the way. You're also right about how cute
145 Sakura-chan can be when she's confused. I always loved seeing her
146 like that. In the end, Sakura-chan always wound up fixing things. She
147 has an awe-inspiring determination that is really unstoppable when it
148 comes out. I don't know if you've had a chance to see it, but her
149 eyes sparkle like emeralds when it takes hold of her.
150 Thank you for letting me tell you all this. I can't tell Sakura-
151 chan because I don't want to burden her with any of it. It has helped
152 quite a bit to be able to talk to you. I don't think you're fickle at
153 all. I think that your heart wanders. But when you find the right
154 person, the one who holds your heart, then it will stop its journey.
155 I hope that you find this person soon. You are a very delightful
156 woman and I think anyone would be extremely lucky to have your
157 company.
158 I'm sending this at the same time as I send my final letter to
159 Sakura-chan. It pains me so much to do so, but I know I have to. The
160 thought that I'll never see her again tears at my heart. It was so
161 hard to see through the tears while I wrote it. I'm lucky I didn't
162 have to tell Sakura-chan in person because I don't think I could
163 have. I already miss her terribly. My heart will always belong to
164 her, no matter where she is. Please keep an eye on her for me. Her
165 happiness means everything to me. I can't stay or I'll ruin that
166 happiness. If she continues looking, she may unravel her new life
167 because of me. I couldn't bear to see her lose all of that. And even
168 if she quit searching, I don't think my heart would last much longer
169 if I stayed in her life. I wanted to fade out slower, to disappear so
170 that I would only be a distant memory to her. But I can't. I'm afraid
171 that everything is too close to the edge. I have to leave her life
172 now before it's too late. But it hurts so badly. It feels like I'm
173 leaving a piece of myself behind. I will always love her. That's why
174 I have to fade away.
175 Fanren-san, thank you again for all of your help. I look forward to
176 seeing you in Japan someday. Perhaps you can tell me what has become
177 of Sakura by then. Right now I would love to dance. I'll always
178 remember it as such a beautiful activity, a song of hearts. Thank you.
179
180 Sincerely,
181 Daidouji Tomoyo