moonlitnights: old/stories/dearsakura-14.txt comparison

comparison old/stories/dearsakura-14.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights

[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'

author	rlm
date	Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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-:dbe144217c71
+:fc00894c1d4a
+Dear Sakura
+by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
+amazonessduo@hotmail.com
+pearsong1954@yahoo.com
+Dear Tomoyo-chan,
+Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you
+again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to
+places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being
+with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content,
+as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost
+as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete
+without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re
+so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I
+guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a
+help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things
+better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and
+for all the years you have been my very best friend.
+The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from
+Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I
+just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There
+really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy.
+But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So,
+the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be
+patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you
+have gone.
+Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It
+seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up
+talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when
+we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our
+adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on,
+and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about
+all we went through together, it really is quite amazing.  I tried to
+find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me,
+or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if
+you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be
+happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them
+myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who
+could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her
+about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit.
+I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping
+it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to
+be Tomoyo-chan's true love!
+I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very
+quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It
+really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of
+you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering
+her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was
+cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too.
+At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had
+never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She
+looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes
+we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very
+angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the
+kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also
+baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled
+at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo-
+chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is
+unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she
+dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But
+Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would
+you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not
+as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan.
+You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't
+been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like
+this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't
+think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that
+a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it
+out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai.
+I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is
+so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are
+lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to
+look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to
+figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so
+complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season
+starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this
+fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure
+out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy.
+Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays
+from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright
+little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant.
+I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you.
+But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really
+upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you
+left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that
+when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and
+moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble
+expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we
+sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that,
+especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but
+it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help
+it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a
+stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out.
+I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying.
+Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to
+calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the
+beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were
+still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there,
+comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart
+still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You
+are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan
+left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right
+away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not
+finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I
+realized it was a costume for me.
+Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it,
+because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so
+carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered
+all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger,
+and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really
+didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my
+precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful
+present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I
+have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so
+close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I
+understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the
+Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being
+with you.
+I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt
+better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if
+you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long.
+Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I
+feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last
+night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess
+this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me,
+even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.
+With all my love,
+Kinomoto Sakura
+Dear Sakura-chan,
+	I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail.
+Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you
+even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always
+such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I
+can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you
+were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to
+look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed
+carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s
+bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger
+box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I
+reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They
+have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to
+entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl.
+Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep
+myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would
+never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was
+the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world
+that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life,
+granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so
+very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful
+to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life
+again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I
+wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that
+really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga,
+Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of
+everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always
+thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy
+that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful
+life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing
+than the pieces I have in my VCR.
+	Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by
+far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places
+to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan.
+It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you
+for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me
+with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be
+able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a
+short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were
+pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely
+experience. I will carry it with me always.
+	Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling
+face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be,
+so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit
+and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of
+the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some
+videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was
+there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take
+quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran-
+sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy
+about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother
+didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a
+bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the
+pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been
+switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my
+heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just
+Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but
+you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I
+could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever
+says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been
+through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always
+agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I
+shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other
+again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well
+as my own.
+	Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s
+very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me
+will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong
+to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left
+it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other
+purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a
+while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you
+found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what
+to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s
+so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I
+always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when
+you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to
+see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or
+another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery
+determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your
+beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set
+your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura-
+chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked
+on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout
+it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your
+life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest
+wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing
+more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart
+into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even
+this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad.
+	But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish
+it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for
+you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you
+with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as
+a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor.
+You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what
+brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them.
+You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an
+accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t
+finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan.
+	I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to
+help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more
+complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could
+in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just
+remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of
+your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination
+I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste
+exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because
+Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but
+she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it.
+I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out
+that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had
+some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased
+me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick
+with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much
+more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of
+and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind
+the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing,
+the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able
+to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing
+to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you
+and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded
+me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the
+one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were
+so adorable in it!
+	I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very
+straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t
+tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and
+my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind
+woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going
+to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break.
+Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her
+cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot
+to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even
+if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister
+I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t
+exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk
+while I was there.
+	Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very
+happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few
+difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them
+anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is
+almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in
+love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy
+for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I
+stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think
+I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will
+ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So
+I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them
+with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any
+longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do
+now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one
+day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as
+they continue forward in their life.
+	I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times,
+but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family
+and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended
+for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li
+Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And
+aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for
+a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she
+doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever
+hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by,
+I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun
+was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very
+differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar
+position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you
+will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship
+with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one
+of them. 	By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen
+of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She
+must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I
+took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a
+bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong,
+outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also
+worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with
+your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you.
+	The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll
+be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very
+excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura-
+chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart.
+I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little
+cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The
+little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of
+all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my
+videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with
+Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer
+is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was
+based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her
+friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura-
+chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that
+you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it,
+especially as time goes by.
+	Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with
+Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m
+afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very
+jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to
+Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of
+you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun
+everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite
+some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he
+must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I
+was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never
+wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an
+apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as
+possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful
+marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there.
+You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my
+thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you,
+holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there
+instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and
+care.
+	I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you
+have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm
+inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best
+thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my
+life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could
+never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you
+have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my
+life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream
+about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart,
+even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you.
+Because my heart will always call out to you.
+You friend forever,
+Daidouji Tomoyo

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