Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison old/stories/dearsakura-11.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights
[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
| author | rlm |
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| date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500 |
| parents | |
| children |
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| 1:dbe144217c71 | 2:fc00894c1d4a |
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| 1 Dear Sakura | |
| 2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P. | |
| 3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com | |
| 4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com | |
| 5 | |
| 6 “It’s beautiful, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s melodious voice said as they | |
| 7 both paused in front of the Jumbo restaurant. Her words were an | |
| 8 understatement to the surreal view of the floating restaurant ahead | |
| 9 of the two women. Water splashed around it as the many lights played | |
| 10 across Tomoyo’s pale skin. | |
| 11 “Hoe...” The sight before them was a pleasant surprise to Sakura as | |
| 12 well. She had been to a number of restaurants with Syaoran when they | |
| 13 had first come to Hong Kong, but this hadn’t been one of them. Which | |
| 14 was part of her decision to take Tomoyo to it now that it was her | |
| 15 last night in Hong Kong. That thought lay over her soul like a heavy | |
| 16 cloak, it’s weight almost unbearable. But she tried to force it off, | |
| 17 wanting to enjoy what little time they had left. She had wanted to | |
| 18 take Tomoyo out for dinner, just the two of them. A chance to be | |
| 19 alone together one last time. Now she was glad for her decision. The | |
| 20 restaurant looked majestic with the waves crashing around it. | |
| 21 Watching her spirited friend, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. For | |
| 22 all of it’s splendor, the restaurant ahead of them was nothing in | |
| 23 comparison to Sakura. She was simply gorgeous in the beautiful blue | |
| 24 Chinese dress she was wearing. Her soft brunette hair framed her | |
| 25 pretty face perfectly, her expression still one of surprise. | |
| 26 Squeezing Sakura’s hand lightly, her eyes sparkled when she saw | |
| 27 Sakura turn to her. This was wonderful, standing with Sakura together | |
| 28 while they waited to be seated at a restaurant as if they were on | |
| 29 some sort of magical date. Only being able to have the whole thing on | |
| 30 videotape could make it any better. Or perhaps if it were a real | |
| 31 date... But Tomoyo was pleasantly thrilled just to be there with | |
| 32 Sakura on something that came close enough to a date for her liking. | |
| 33 Sakura found herself blushing slightly at the way Tomoyo was | |
| 34 looking at her. It was the same warm and loving expression that | |
| 35 Tomoyo had always given her when she had the dark haired woman’s full | |
| 36 attention. Which was more often than not. She averted her gaze after | |
| 37 a few seconds, once again busying herself with the beautiful | |
| 38 establishment in front of them. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she | |
| 39 kept looking into those stormy blue eyes. They were almost hypnotic. | |
| 40 “Well, we better get going before they decide to give away our | |
| 41 seats.” Tomoyo agreed enthusiastically and the two finally entered | |
| 42 the restaurant. | |
| 43 | |
| 44 True to its gorgeous exterior, the inside was just as exquisite. | |
| 45 And completely packed. For a while, Sakura worried that even with her | |
| 46 reservations she wouldn’t be able to get a table. But the Li family | |
| 47 was very important in Hong Kong, and Sakura Li was treated no | |
| 48 differently. Before too long, she and her dark haired best friend had | |
| 49 been seated and their orders taken. “Are you sure that’s all you | |
| 50 want, Tomoyo-chan? You can get more if you want,” Sakura said upon | |
| 51 realizing how little the pale woman had ordered. Then again, Tomoyo | |
| 52 had never eaten a considerable amount, her slim figure almost seeming | |
| 53 frail. | |
| 54 Tomoyo smiled politely and shook her head, her beautiful lavender | |
| 55 tresses swaying behind her. “No, I’m fine, Sakura-chan. I think I’m | |
| 56 still full from the banquet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much | |
| 57 food in one place before. Poor Kero-chan must have been very | |
| 58 disappointed not to be invited.” Both women giggled softly, the | |
| 59 tension fading away somewhat. This was Tomoyo’s last night in Hong | |
| 60 Kong and though neither woman had spoken it directly, it was | |
| 61 lingering unsaid between the two of them. This was their last chance | |
| 62 together, and Tomoyo still hadn’t decided how she should react to it. | |
| 63 Her initial decision about the whole trip had been to hide her | |
| 64 feelings for Sakura, to tone down her endless affection for the | |
| 65 brunette in fear that it would be unwelcome with her marriage. | |
| 66 But Sakura had baffled her upon her arrival. It was like returning | |
| 67 to a loved one after years of absence. She could imagine it was | |
| 68 similar to when Syaoran had returned to Sakura. She had greeted | |
| 69 Tomoyo with such warmth and affection, staying nearby during the | |
| 70 trip, her love almost seeming to echo Tomoyo’s own. It was eerie and | |
| 71 not at all what she had expected, but it had grasped onto her heart | |
| 72 quickly and wouldn’t let go. Sakura had always been very loving with | |
| 73 her, but this went beyond all of her own expectations. It was almost | |
| 74 as if Sakura’s love mirrored her own. It rattled the locked cage of | |
| 75 her heart, drawing her love and adoration out from behind the masks | |
| 76 she had erected. Hiding her love from Sakura was impossible, she knew | |
| 77 that now. It was all she could do to keep from blatantly telling | |
| 78 Sakura of her feelings, something she knew would certainly be | |
| 79 disastrous. If Sakura knew how she felt, it would cause endless | |
| 80 turmoil for her marriage and their friendship. She simply couldn’t | |
| 81 allow that. Sakura’s happiness meant everything to her. But still, it | |
| 82 was almost impossible to deny the feelings she was getting from the | |
| 83 brunette, the way she had kissed back, the way she was acting. When | |
| 84 was the last time she had seen Sakura acting like this? With Yukito? | |
| 85 No, this didn’t have the same trappings of a crush that her behavior | |
| 86 with Yukito had indicated to Tomoyo early on. Which led up to some | |
| 87 very confusing conclusions for the dark haired designer. She was | |
| 88 having a much harder time telling herself that there was nothing | |
| 89 there. Looking into Sakura’s eyes, seeing those bright emerald orbs | |
| 90 looking back into hers, she could see something that both thrilled | |
| 91 and frightened her. | |
| 92 There was something there that was growing inside Sakura. Just what | |
| 93 it was, Tomoyo was still left a little unsure. Her mind kept | |
| 94 returning to the kiss and moments before when Sakura had been holding | |
| 95 her. The one thing Tomoyo could be sure of was that she would soon | |
| 96 begin to disrupt Sakura’s life if she allowed these feelings of the | |
| 97 Cardmistress’s to continue. Sakura had a husband, a new life in Hong | |
| 98 Kong. Tomoyo was an anchor tying her down to the past. Perhaps now | |
| 99 more than ever. She had wanted to come to Hong Kong as a way to help | |
| 100 Sakura let go of the past, but it seemed that she was making it | |
| 101 worse. It was painful being so near Sakura, loving her so completely | |
| 102 while knowing that she was still married to her true love. So close, | |
| 103 yet so far. Look, but don’t touch. It felt as if she were an infinite | |
| 104 distance away from Sakura at times when they were only feet apart. | |
| 105 But her love could travel that distance. Even if Sakura couldn’t see | |
| 106 it. Was Syaoran really Sakura’s true love? The dark haired woman had | |
| 107 been so intent on finding the person that could make Sakura happy | |
| 108 that she had truly believed it was Syaoran. Now she wasn’t so sure. | |
| 109 After Ieran’s words and her time spent with Sakura, she couldn’t be | |
| 110 so certain that he was anymore. But it was too late for any of that. | |
| 111 He had to be the one for Sakura. He had to. And Tomoyo could do | |
| 112 nothing but disrupt that, tearing apart Sakura’s happiness by staying | |
| 113 with her. | |
| 114 That was why she had decided late the night before, through many | |
| 115 tears and much heartache, that this was goodbye. Not that she could | |
| 116 come out and tell Sakura that, of course. Or that she would even act | |
| 117 on it all at once. No, this was their last time together. She would | |
| 118 never return to Hong Kong after this trip. She was now more sure than | |
| 119 ever that the only way to keep Sakura truly happy was to fade out of | |
| 120 her life. Staying would be too painful for the brunette as her | |
| 121 feelings became more confusing and as Tomoyo remained an ever present | |
| 122 reminder of her past. She had to admit that part of her reasoning was | |
| 123 that she couldn’t handle it herself. After being so close to Sakura, | |
| 124 feeling her heart in a new way and sharing her first kiss with her | |
| 125 best friend, it was too painful to remain in her life knowing that | |
| 126 she was no longer necessary to it. So she would fade away. Slowly at | |
| 127 first, until she could slip out of Sakura’s life. By then she would | |
| 128 be nothing more than a memory in Sakura’s happy life. A memory that | |
| 129 would not be missed. | |
| 130 Smiling her sweet, happy smile that she always managed to keep up | |
| 131 for Sakura's sake, she managed to smile a little brighter at the | |
| 132 brunette. She wanted to leave on a happy note. A glorious note. One | |
| 133 that would leave Sakura with good memories of her friend’s visit. So | |
| 134 she would not let her pained feelings inside get a foothold again | |
| 135 like she had the night of the kiss. No, this time she would be all | |
| 136 smiles for Sakura. She would be everything for Sakura. Because she | |
| 137 loved her. | |
| 138 Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura brushed back a lock of hair from | |
| 139 her eyes. The restaurant was gorgeous. She must have done more | |
| 140 sightseeing in her time during Tomoyo’s visit than she had during her | |
| 141 entire time prior in Hong Kong. Oh, the wonderful things she had | |
| 142 seen! It was truly a beautiful city. But the best part had been that | |
| 143 she had been able to see it with her best friend. Such things were | |
| 144 always infinitely more amazing when you could experience them with | |
| 145 someone important to you. “It was a lot of fun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank | |
| 146 you for everything." The light on Tomoyo almost made her look like a | |
| 147 part of the surreal design of the restaurant, adding to its beauty. | |
| 148 Tomoyo looked a little surprised, something she rarely was. Shaking | |
| 149 her head, she quickly came back to the present, tilting her head to | |
| 150 the side. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Sakura-chan. I | |
| 151 had a lovely time. I always have fun when I’m with Sakura-chan. And | |
| 152 anything is a great excuse to spend more time with you. I just like | |
| 153 to be around you.” | |
| 154 They were words that Sakura had heard thousands of times before by | |
| 155 this very same woman, but all the same they brought an embarrassed | |
| 156 blush to the brunette’s cheeks. Most likely, she thought, because she | |
| 157 knew they were absolutely true on Tomoyo’s behalf. The tone in her | |
| 158 soft, gentle voice sent a trill through Sakura’s mind. There was so | |
| 159 much underlying it, so much that she never truly understood yet | |
| 160 always made her happy to hear. But what caught her attention was | |
| 161 something else entirely. Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes once again looked | |
| 162 frozen, out of place with the beautiful smile on her face. It was as | |
| 163 if those shining windows had been boarded up to hide something deep | |
| 164 inside. Sakura shook her head. It must be her mind playing tricks on | |
| 165 her. Now that Tomoyo was leaving, she felt a deep well of sadness | |
| 166 inside. She didn’t want Tomoyo to leave. Her presence had made the | |
| 167 past few days some of the happiest in Sakura’s life. But knowing that | |
| 168 it was all coming to an end made it almost impossible to enjoy what | |
| 169 little time they had left together. She didn’t know what to do. The | |
| 170 Cardmistress felt so lost and alone now that Tomoyo would be going | |
| 171 back to Tomoeda. She needed Tomoyo. She needed to see her smiling | |
| 172 face, to hear her loving voice, to feel her gentle embrace, to feel | |
| 173 those soft lips... Sakura shook her head, trying to concentrate. She | |
| 174 wanted Tomoyo to stay, to know that her best friend would always be | |
| 175 there. But she had her own life back home. Like she had said, they | |
| 176 had gone down different roads now. This was merely a brief detour. | |
| 177 The waitress finally arrived with their food, interrupting both | |
| 178 women from their thoughts. “It looks delicious, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo | |
| 179 took a small bite of her meal before looking back to Sakura. “Oishi,” | |
| 180 she said, smiling at the brunette. Despite all of Hong Kong’s | |
| 181 elegance and beauty, Sakura still stood out amongst all of it for | |
| 182 Tomoyo. It all paled in comparison to the young Japanese bride that | |
| 183 Tomoyo was lucky enough to have the pleasure of calling her best | |
| 184 friend. Even sitting across from her with a slightly quizzical look | |
| 185 as she tasted a certain cuisine for the first time, she was utterly | |
| 186 gorgeous. Tomoyo smiled brighter as she watched Sakura take a sip of | |
| 187 her meal. “You can have some of mine if you’d like, Sakura-chan,” the | |
| 188 dark haired girl offered. | |
| 189 Sakura smiled happily at the offer. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan! Next time | |
| 190 I’ll be a little more careful about what I order. It sounded like a | |
| 191 good thing.” Her smile turned sheepish as she looked back at her own | |
| 192 meal before meeting gazes with Tomoyo again. To her surprise, Tomoyo | |
| 193 brought her own chopsticks up to Sakura’s mouth. The brunette blinked | |
| 194 for a second before opening her mouth. With delicate precision, | |
| 195 Tomoyo fed her the bite of food. | |
| 196 “Sakura-chan looks so cute when she’s being fed,” Tomoyo said simply | |
| 197 as she took another bite up to Sakura’s mouth. Her eyes seemed to | |
| 198 sparkle as she watched the Cardmistress intently, earlier thoughts | |
| 199 lost in her current state of bliss that being near Sakura always | |
| 200 managed to affect her with. Sakura’s blush faded slowly as she | |
| 201 continued to eat from Tomoyo’s chopsticks. The two sat in relative | |
| 202 silence, but there wasn’t anything awkward about it. It was pleasant | |
| 203 and warm, drowning out the noise that all the other patrons were | |
| 204 making. Before long, Tomoyo had fed Sakura all of her plate. | |
| 205 Sitting back, Sakura finally realized that she had been leaning | |
| 206 forward the entire time. No doubt for Tomoyo to feed her. She felt | |
| 207 giddy and bubbly, excited and content all at once. This was | |
| 208 wonderful, being here with Tomoyo, spending their time together this | |
| 209 way. It felt like they had never been apart. Like it had always been | |
| 210 this way, the two of them. Tomoyo had always been there for her, but | |
| 211 it felt nice to be alone with her, to be able to concentrate solely | |
| 212 on the toy designer for once. On the cute little things she did and | |
| 213 said. On the feelings that coursed through her at just being there | |
| 214 with her. It was nice to be going out to dinner with her. It was | |
| 215 almost like her dates with Syaoran. But it was so different in many | |
| 216 aspects. There wasn’t that embarrassing uneasiness that usually went | |
| 217 along with her dates or the unsteady silence as she tried to come up | |
| 218 with what to say. It just didn’t matter. She didn’t have to say | |
| 219 anything at all and it was perfectly all right. Tomoyo’s eyes seemed | |
| 220 to be able to read her perfectly. It was a wonderful sensation. And | |
| 221 after all of Tomoyo’s trip, it was difficult to think of anything to | |
| 222 say that didn’t have to do with their parting soon. So it was a | |
| 223 blessing to be able to just cherish their time together. The two | |
| 224 women chatted pleasantly about certain things, none of any great | |
| 225 significance. It was enough to know that the other was there. | |
| 226 After a brief silence, Sakura looked down, struggling to put her | |
| 227 feelings into words. Being with Tomoyo had such a tremendous affect | |
| 228 on her, as she had recently been aware of, but the flurry of emotions | |
| 229 was difficult to pin down. She knew they were of love. A strong and | |
| 230 powerful love that swept her off her feet and nearly pulled her along | |
| 231 in the cyclone of her feelings. But such a love for her best friend | |
| 232 seemed so strange, that it would be so much more encompassing than | |
| 233 even her love for her husband. It left her dizzy in its wake, unsure | |
| 234 of what to say to the beautiful lavender haired woman. The love that | |
| 235 she experienced from Tomoyo felt equally as powerful, though it | |
| 236 seemed to have much more direction than Sakura’s own confused | |
| 237 feelings. It was all encompassing yet direct at the same time, never | |
| 238 leaving her whenever Tomoyo was present. In all that the pale woman | |
| 239 did, Sakura could feel that same love that Tomoyo so delicately took | |
| 240 care of. Her body shuddered lightly at even the feel of Tomoyo’s hand | |
| 241 encompassing her own on the table, the fingers slowly entwining with | |
| 242 her own. “Tomoyo-chan,” she began, nervously. “When I’m with you, | |
| 243 I... Sometimes I feel like my heart’s pounding in my chest and I feel | |
| 244 breathless like I’ve been running for miles even though I’ve been | |
| 245 standing still. I feel like... Like there’s magic in the air, like | |
| 246 it’s in everything that you touch. I feel so happy when we’re | |
| 247 together. Sometimes I feel dizzy, like it’s too much. But then I know | |
| 248 that you’ll catch me if I fall. So I’m never afraid. Even when it | |
| 249 feels like my heart will burst from too much inside, it just seems to | |
| 250 grow and grow. I don’t know how to talk to Syaoran-chan about any of | |
| 251 this. But I guess that’s okay. I’ve heard you say things like this | |
| 252 before and I think I’m starting to understand them. Not all of it, | |
| 253 but some. I just... I’m really glad you’re here.” | |
| 254 Tomoyo watched Sakura for a long moment, playing her words over and | |
| 255 over again in her head. Sakura almost looked like a scared puppy, | |
| 256 unsure of how Tomoyo would react. Tomoyo was still a little surprised | |
| 257 herself. The brunette’s words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that | |
| 258 Tomoyo was having difficulty writing off the feelings Sakura had | |
| 259 expressed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Bringing Sakura’s hand up, | |
| 260 she kissed it softly, delicately. “Sakura-chan, you always make me | |
| 261 feel very special. You really don’t know how much happiness you have | |
| 262 given me over the years. Hearing you say that makes me very glad for | |
| 263 the time we’ve been able to spend together. You’re very important to | |
| 264 me, Sakura-chan. Hearing what’s in your precious heart is a thrill to | |
| 265 me because I’ve always wanted to know that it was beating happily. It | |
| 266 sounds like Sakura-chan’s heart is very much like mine.” | |
| 267 “But, Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want your heart to burst from all of that | |
| 268 love locked up inside of you. Please tell me who has the key. I know | |
| 269 that your love for your special someone must be very strong. I don’t | |
| 270 know how you can handle it,” Sakura shook her head sadly, her hand | |
| 271 still holding onto Tomoyo’s as their eyes met from across the table. | |
| 272 Tomoyo just smiled, perhaps a little sadly. Slowly standing up, she | |
| 273 brought Sakura up with her. Dinner was done and there was no reason | |
| 274 to stay. “Sometimes I wonder if the key is still out there, Sakura- | |
| 275 chan. Or maybe it’s already been lost. But it doesn’t matter. The | |
| 276 feelings inside of you are happy, aren’t they, Sakura-chan? So are | |
| 277 mine. Because when I close my eyes, my special someone is smiling. | |
| 278 And it is the most beautiful, shining smile that I have ever seen.” | |
| 279 Her eyes never left Sakura as she stood close to the Cardmistress, | |
| 280 their hands held. Yes, Sakura’s smile was like the gentle touch of | |
| 281 angels. It would forever soothe her aching heart as long as she knew | |
| 282 it was there. | |
| 283 Sakura sighed, but she quickly brightened visibly. “Would you like | |
| 284 to dance, Tomoyo-chan? I think Fanren-chan mentioned a place nearby | |
| 285 before we left. I remember you said that you liked to dance, even if | |
| 286 you haven’t in a long time. And I know you can’t with your special | |
| 287 person, but I’d still be happy to dance with you.” | |
| 288 A soft giggle came from Tomoyo as she nodded. “I would love to dance | |
| 289 with you, Sakura-chan. More than anything. I can’t think of a better | |
| 290 way to end the night.” With that, the two made their way quickly out | |
| 291 of the restaurant towards a night of dancing. | |
| 292 | |
| 293 The two woman glided across the slightly crowded floor to | |
| 294 romantically slow music playing all around them. Tomoyo was currently | |
| 295 leading the pair as they began a new dance. Her long, lavender hair | |
| 296 swayed around her, moving along with Tomoyo’s own elegant movements. | |
| 297 The rest of the dancers hardly seemed to exist for the two friends. | |
| 298 How long they had been there remained a mystery, but it didn’t | |
| 299 matter. Acknowledging the time would be a step closer to ending the | |
| 300 night, and neither was in any hurry for that. So instead they | |
| 301 continued to dance, entangled in the almost hypnotic quality the | |
| 302 music had as it kept them dancing together. | |
| 303 Sakura was not an accomplished dancer by any means, but she had | |
| 304 certainly enjoyed whatever chances she had to do so, whether that be | |
| 305 with Flower or with her husband. But never had she caught herself | |
| 306 enjoying it as much as she did now, Tomoyo’s fluid grace seeming to | |
| 307 pull her in further and further. Sakura was much more athletic, but | |
| 308 Tomoyo still had a certain elegance to her that always seemed to | |
| 309 shine through in such things, whether it be art or singing or even | |
| 310 editing videotape. And like everything else, Sakura found herself | |
| 311 being dragged along by Tomoyo’s sweet albeit persistent nature. She | |
| 312 gave herself up to it, letting it lead where it would. She followed | |
| 313 along as Tomoyo continued to slow dance with her, wishing that the | |
| 314 song would continue on for just one more minute. That was all she | |
| 315 wanted. Just another minute. | |
| 316 Once again Tomoyo found herself wishing she had brought her | |
| 317 camcorder along for the night’s activities. This was perfect, dancing | |
| 318 along with Sakura as the night marched inexorably forward. She had | |
| 319 ignored any semblance of a clock, much happier with the seemingly | |
| 320 eternal moment they seemed trapped in together. The feel of Sakura | |
| 321 near her would linger in her mind long after it was gone, she knew. | |
| 322 Sakura’s sweet scent, the way she felt through the soft fabric of her | |
| 323 dress, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light while they danced, | |
| 324 it would all remain with her. But if only she could have it on | |
| 325 videotape! Even asking a complete stranger to videotape the two of | |
| 326 them sounded perfectly reasonable at the moment. Then she could watch | |
| 327 this tape of their date over and over again when she returned home. | |
| 328 Well, their almost date, anyway. But it was close enough. It | |
| 329 certainly felt more than romantic enough to the lavender haired girl | |
| 330 at any rate, who shifted to let Sakura lead as the next song began. | |
| 331 If she could have one wish, it would be to stop time here, to let | |
| 332 this moment stretch out for an eternity. She could think of no better | |
| 333 way to spend it than in Sakura’s arms, dancing happily with her. | |
| 334 Well, perhaps she could think of several others, but they would | |
| 335 require far more than a simple wish. For the time being, Tomoyo would | |
| 336 be quite content if the music would just roll on forever, allowing | |
| 337 her all of that time to be with her beloved. She enjoyed the dancing | |
| 338 immensely. It afforded her the chance to not think about anything. | |
| 339 Her thoughts were far from the forefront of her mind, leaving only | |
| 340 her feelings and Sakura to take up her full attention. There were no | |
| 341 words or questions spinning through her mind now. It was only love | |
| 342 and joy and the rhythmic moves of dancing as she and Sakura carried | |
| 343 on. | |
| 344 How long had they been dancing? Sakura had no idea anymore. Nor did | |
| 345 she care. The night had been wonderful. Dancing had been a sweet | |
| 346 icing on the cake. The Cardmistress smiled to herself as Tomoyo | |
| 347 rested her head on her shoulder, their bodies swaying lightly | |
| 348 together to the music. Bringing her hand up, Sakura’s fingers lightly | |
| 349 brushed through the silken strands, feeling them slip between her | |
| 350 fingers. Tomoyo sighed softly against her. It was a happy, contented | |
| 351 sound. Sakura’s heart swelled to hear it and she held on tighter to | |
| 352 Tomoyo, still moving lightly as the music continued playing. After a | |
| 353 brief moment’s hesitation, Sakura brushed some of the dark hair away | |
| 354 from one of Tomoyo’s ears. “Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want you to be | |
| 355 lonely. You’re so pretty, and kind, and gentle, and loving. You just | |
| 356 can’t be alone. I love you too much to see you alone.” | |
| 357 “I’m not lonely when I’m with you,” Tomoyo replied softly, snuggling | |
| 358 closer against Sakura, her head shifting on the brunette’s shoulder. | |
| 359 “When I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter. I’m just so happy | |
| 360 that I can be with Sakura-chan that everything else fades into the | |
| 361 background. I’m very pleased that you think of me so highly. Hearing | |
| 362 you say things like that makes my heart beat faster. I love you, | |
| 363 Sakura-chan,” she whispered at last, closing her eyes. Today had been | |
| 364 an emotional rollercoaster. No, the entire trip had been. But little | |
| 365 moments like this revitalized her, reminding her in a gentle voice | |
| 366 that this was exactly why she loved Sakura. | |
| 367 “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura whispered in return, holding | |
| 368 onto Tomoyo tightly. She didn’t want to let her go. She never wanted | |
| 369 to let her go. Never again. It didn’t feel right to be without her. | |
| 370 She needed Tomoyo. This feeling, this peaceful feeling that | |
| 371 encompassed her body and soul was missing whenever Tomoyo was gone. | |
| 372 Her heart begged for the toy designer to stay, but she dared not ask | |
| 373 that of her. She couldn’t. | |
| 374 Tomoyo giggled again, her voice softly muffled against Sakura’s | |
| 375 shoulder. Her dark hair was spilt over Sakura and herself now, her | |
| 376 body leaning against Sakura’s. ‘Oh, how I wish that were true. I | |
| 377 would give anything to know that with all certainty. I would live my | |
| 378 entire life to make you happy, Sakura-chan. I love you so much,’ she | |
| 379 thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “I still think my love and your | |
| 380 love are different things, Sakura-chan.” This time she left off the | |
| 381 offer to explain when she was older. No, there would be no | |
| 382 explanation, she had decided. It would only make things more | |
| 383 difficult for Sakura. And for herself. Her love was best kept hidden. | |
| 384 Even if it did hurt terribly sometimes. But that’s why she would | |
| 385 always treasure moments like these. | |
| 386 “How can you be sure?” Sakura asked, her voice questioning. She | |
| 387 could remember Tomoyo saying that before, but for some reason it was | |
| 388 troubling her. Why would their love be any different? Why wouldn’t it | |
| 389 be the same? She almost felt surrounded by the feelings in her heart, | |
| 390 all of them attached like strings to the woman in her arms. | |
| 391 “I’m not so sure sometimes,” Tomoyo whispered back quietly. Her | |
| 392 head slowly pulled off of Sakura’s shoulder, her stormy blue eyes | |
| 393 shimmering as they met Sakura’s jade orbs. Her fingers gently cupped | |
| 394 Sakura’s chin as a phantom of a smile played across her lips. Her | |
| 395 whole body ached for the feel of those lips just one more time. For | |
| 396 that passionate embrace, for the flood of emotions she had received | |
| 397 from Sakura. But her fingers slowly slipped away, falling back to her | |
| 398 side. Her head rested once again on Sakura’s shoulder. No, if she was | |
| 399 going to fade away, then that memory would be what would burn in her | |
| 400 heart forevermore. She would savor that one kiss always. She closed | |
| 401 her eyes once more and lost herself in Sakura’s warm embrace. | |
| 402 Sakura held her gently, lovingly. She still didn’t understand what | |
| 403 the dark haired woman had meant by all that, but right now she didn’t | |
| 404 feel like asking her. She just wanted to hold her until the morning | |
| 405 came. Maybe it never would. Maybe if she held on tight enough, Tomoyo | |
| 406 would never have to leave her side again. After Tomoyo’s visit, | |
| 407 returning to life without the gentle presence of the toy designer was | |
| 408 utterly inconceivable. Sakura couldn’t imagine life without her, not | |
| 409 knowing she was right there, not being able to be with her. Now that | |
| 410 she had seen Tomoyo again, she knew what it was that had been missing | |
| 411 since she had moved to Hong Kong. Not her family or friends, although | |
| 412 she missed them dearly. But Tomoyo herself. The feelings inside her | |
| 413 that expanded in joy when they were together, that felt so cold and | |
| 414 alone when they were apart, told her this much. Even if she couldn’t | |
| 415 quite name it, she knew it to be true. | |
| 416 A feeling welled up in Sakura’s anxious heart that she could only | |
| 417 vaguely remember feeling quite some time ago. It was a devastating | |
| 418 mix of pain, fear, abandonment, and loss all bundled up inside of | |
| 419 her. These weren’t the feelings she’d had when Syaoran had left, | |
| 420 though she had missed him terribly. These were the feelings she could | |
| 421 only remember as if from a dream when her mother had been taken away | |
| 422 from her. She had only been three years old at the time, still a | |
| 423 young child. But the feelings were as potent as the day she had found | |
| 424 out what had happened to her mother. It tore at her heart with a | |
| 425 vicious ferocity, like some caged beast that had finally escaped. | |
| 426 Sharp claws raked at her soul as tears begin to drip down her cheeks. | |
| 427 She held onto Tomoyo tighter, her body shaking ever so slightly. Why | |
| 428 was she feeling this way? It wasn’t like Tomoyo was going away for | |
| 429 good. She would see her again. They would still write letters and | |
| 430 talk on the phone. They would still be best friends forever. But some | |
| 431 of what Tomoyo said had been haunting her, refusing to completely | |
| 432 leave. Thoughts of an aching void in her life where Tomoyo had once | |
| 433 been were teasing her mind. She didn’t want the morning to come. It | |
| 434 would come and snatch Tomoyo away from her like the talons of some | |
| 435 ancient dragon. And she would be left alone. Yes, she would have her | |
| 436 prince. But was that enough? She felt like her heart was being torn | |
| 437 asunder in her chest. Choked sobs escaped her lips as she grasped | |
| 438 desperately onto her pale friend. | |
| 439 A warm tear dropped down onto Tomoyo’s neck, startling her out of | |
| 440 the daze she had fallen into. Holding onto Sakura, swaying in the | |
| 441 music had brought time to a standstill. There was no tomorrow. There | |
| 442 was no yesterday. There was only now. A bright spot in her life that | |
| 443 she would forever hold dear the same as she held onto Sakura at that | |
| 444 very moment. But Sakura’s shaky sobs quickly brought her back to the | |
| 445 slightly crowded dance floor. She was instantly concerned, but part | |
| 446 of her knew the problem already. This was it. This was their | |
| 447 farewell. Sakura didn’t know it, but this was the last time they | |
| 448 would ever see each other. Sakura was a very emotional woman. Parting | |
| 449 must be hell for her. Tomoyo knew how painful it was. She couldn’t | |
| 450 bear the thought of being away from Sakura anymore than she could | |
| 451 quit breathing. She needed Sakura. All of her. She was the lifeblood | |
| 452 of Tomoyo’s life. But at the same time, she knew that she had to go. | |
| 453 Oh, she could always pack up and move to Hong Kong. Her mother | |
| 454 wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would be easy enough. She could | |
| 455 stay nearby and visit Sakura every day. But then she would be | |
| 456 dangerously close to throwing away all that she had worked for to | |
| 457 make Sakura happy. That would risk damaging her marriage to Syaoran | |
| 458 if Tomoyo got too involved and also could ruin their friendship if | |
| 459 things progressed any further than they already had. She couldn’t | |
| 460 risk Sakura’s happiness for her own selfishness. And she also knew | |
| 461 that being so close to Sakura, watching her from such a short | |
| 462 distance, her heart pounding every second for her, it would kill her. | |
| 463 Just as surely as any knife’s blade. That pain would be even worse | |
| 464 than never seeing Sakura again. At least if she left, she knew that | |
| 465 Sakura’s happiness would be safe and that she would always have her | |
| 466 memories. She could live with that. She had to. But staying would be | |
| 467 a form of exquisite torture, slowly tugging and battering the cage in | |
| 468 her heart. “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered softly, her lithe | |
| 469 fingers stroking the other woman’s back through the thin fabric of | |
| 470 her dress. Her head lifted off of Sakura’s shoulder, her eyes meeting | |
| 471 Sakura’s as she stood pressed against the Cardmistress. Gentle | |
| 472 fingers went up over Sakura’s shoulders, up her neck, and along her | |
| 473 cheeks, wiping away Sakura’s warm tears. Tomoyo’s kind, loving gaze | |
| 474 penetrated Sakura’s emerald green eyes as she continued to wipe her | |
| 475 tears away. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. No matter how far apart | |
| 476 we are, I’ll always be with you. My heart will always be tied to | |
| 477 yours.” | |
| 478 The last of her strength crumbling away from her, Sakura clutched | |
| 479 onto Tomoyo, sobbing quietly against her. Her heart cried out to her, | |
| 480 those feelings returning stronger, more urgent, but she couldn’t make | |
| 481 them out. She didn’t understand. It was like her heart was speaking | |
| 482 another language. All she knew was that she didn’t want Tomoyo to go | |
| 483 away. The world would be too dark a place. Too bland. Too real. | |
| 484 Tomoyo added a dreamlike quality to life, one that always enveloped | |
| 485 Sakura. Her days would be too normal without Tomoyo’s eccentric | |
| 486 activities and her embarrassing remarks. She would be too weak | |
| 487 without Tomoyo’s constant affection and support. She had Syaoran to | |
| 488 lean on, but Tomoyo made that unnecessary. She brought up a strength | |
| 489 and courage inside Sakura that wasn’t there without her. The thought | |
| 490 of never seeing Tomoyo again, disappearing from her life as her | |
| 491 mother had so long ago again pierced the chaos inside of her. “Please | |
| 492 don’t ever leave me, Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura sobbed. | |
| 493 Tomoyo froze at Sakura’s words, unable to do much more than hold | |
| 494 onto the grief-stricken Cardmistress. It was as if Sakura had heard | |
| 495 her thoughts from earlier that night. Words escaped Tomoyo, eluding | |
| 496 her tongue as she tried desperately to think. She had never been able | |
| 497 to lie to Sakura. It was nearly impossible to her. She could omit | |
| 498 details or hide the truth if she thought it would hurt Sakura, but | |
| 499 she could never bring herself to lie to the brunette. ‘Sakura-chan, | |
| 500 it’s for the best. I have to leave. I have to fade out of your life,’ | |
| 501 she thought to herself, not daring to speak the words lest they cause | |
| 502 even more pain for either of them. Her fingers brushed away still | |
| 503 more tears that fell past Sakura’s emerald eyes before pushing away | |
| 504 some of Sakura’s hair. The lavender haired woman’s voice was soft and | |
| 505 comforting as she gazed deeply into Sakura’s tear stained eyes. | |
| 506 “Sakura-chan, please don’t cry. It makes me feel bad to see you so | |
| 507 sad. I promise that I’ll always hold you close to my heart. Wherever | |
| 508 I am and wherever you are, I’ll always see Sakura-chan when I close | |
| 509 my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she continued, her | |
| 510 fingers gently stroking through Sakura’s hair. Her heart ached at the | |
| 511 sight of Sakura’s tear streaked face. She wanted to take all of that | |
| 512 pain in Sakura’s eyes and take it for herself. Seeing Sakura in pain | |
| 513 hurt her infinitely worse than her own suffering. “Sakura-chan, I had | |
| 514 a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for these golden | |
| 515 memories. I will treasure them always, even when I’m looking down on | |
| 516 the earth from above. Because nothing could be more beautiful than | |
| 517 the moments I’ve spent with you, Sakura-chan. They will always fill | |
| 518 my heart with joy when I look back on them. It’s exactly why I always | |
| 519 videotaped you. So I could always watch those captured moments of | |
| 520 you, so I could hold those little pieces close to my heart. I could | |
| 521 never leave you, Sakura-chan. Not completely. I may go back home and | |
| 522 things might get busy in your life. But my heart will always be | |
| 523 singing to you. Because I’m wrapped up in the ribbons that trail from | |
| 524 Sakura-chan’s heart.” A small smile blossomed on her lips as her | |
| 525 hands slowly stroked Sakura’s cheeks. | |
| 526 Looking back into Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes, Sakura could feel the | |
| 527 lightening behind them. It was warm, encompassing, and made her whole | |
| 528 being tingle. Her fear and panic began to dissipate. She was still | |
| 529 worried about Tomoyo’s trip home, but it felt so far away now. So | |
| 530 very far away. “I just want to be with you,” Sakura whispered softly, | |
| 531 hugging the nearly frail woman in her arms. | |
| 532 “That’s all I want, too, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her fingers | |
| 533 trailing past Sakura’s ear. She continued to gaze into Sakura’s eyes | |
| 534 lovingly, her free hand going back to rubbing the brunette’s back. | |
| 535 “You’ve given me the most wonderful moments in my life. I don’t think | |
| 536 I can ever repay you. Sakura-chan, you the most beautiful, genki, | |
| 537 sweet, and amazing person that I have ever met. I don’t think I’ll | |
| 538 ever know how I was lucky enough to meet you. It’s always been easy | |
| 539 for me to see how you could capture hearts with more ease than you | |
| 540 can capture Cards.” Her smile grew softly, her dark hair teasing | |
| 541 Sakura’s own. “You mean the world to me, Sakura-chan. No matter what | |
| 542 happens, just please be happy. Wherever life takes you, I want it to | |
| 543 be a spectacular trip for you, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo barely managed to | |
| 544 hold up her mask as her mind retread over Sakura’s words, over how | |
| 545 scared and worried she had looked. Could she leave Sakura? Could she | |
| 546 fade out of her life? She knew she had to, for both of their sakes, | |
| 547 but could she really bring herself to? Especially when she could see | |
| 548 so clearly into those beautiful emerald jewels? A part of her told | |
| 549 her that she had been wrong, that she had been blinded by her belief | |
| 550 that she couldn’t make Sakura happy, that Sakura needed her every bit | |
| 551 as much as she needed Sakura. That thought frightened her deeply. | |
| 552 Because if it was right, then what had she done by helping to get | |
| 553 Sakura with Syaoran? | |
| 554 “But I want you to be happy, Tomoyo-chan. Why can’t we both be | |
| 555 happy?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. She sounded much calmer now, | |
| 556 almost relaxed in their shared embrace. This whole thing was like a | |
| 557 riddle. It was stuck in her brain but she couldn’t quite make sense | |
| 558 of it. Though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. Tomoyo’s | |
| 559 special person was so lucky to have the love in Tomoyo’s bound heart. | |
| 560 But why couldn’t he just wake up and notice how much she needed him? | |
| 561 How hurt her love was making her? Sakura couldn’t understand how | |
| 562 anyone could not return Tomoyo’s love with the same impassioned | |
| 563 fervor that the dark haired woman herself was capable of. It bathed | |
| 564 Sakura in its gentle glow, sheltering her from the cold and | |
| 565 loneliness. Again the urgent howl of feelings inside her almost made | |
| 566 her jump. It was as if they were struggling to break free. But still, | |
| 567 Sakura couldn’t understand. They grew fiercer in her heart, trying | |
| 568 desperately to bubble out of the Cardmistress. Tomoyo was the focus | |
| 569 of them, she new that. Strong, heated, deep feelings that ran | |
| 570 throughout her were boiling in her heart. They were nearly screaming | |
| 571 at her. She felt like she only had one chance. But one chance for | |
| 572 what? | |
| 573 Tomoyo smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She held onto | |
| 574 Sakura warmly, her hand still moving from the small of Sakura’s back | |
| 575 up to her shoulder blades. “I’m happy as long as Saku...” Sakura cute | |
| 576 her off, her lips meeting Tomoyo’s in a delightful peck that took | |
| 577 Tomoyo by complete surprise. She had certainly not been expecting | |
| 578 that from the brunette. Her own feelings had become such a mystery to | |
| 579 her as of late and Sakura’s increased affection ever since her | |
| 580 arrival had made things even more difficult for her to decipher. Her | |
| 581 pale cheeks darkened as she felt the lips against her own again, this | |
| 582 time kissing longer. The young woman pulled her magical best friend | |
| 583 into a closer embrace, returning the kiss herself. It tasted sweeter | |
| 584 than anything the banquet or the restaurant had to offer. The silky | |
| 585 touch of Sakura’s lips was softer than any fabric she had ever | |
| 586 handled. It was magical, a brief moment where she got more than just | |
| 587 images or momentos of Sakura. She had a piece of her soul. | |
| 588 Thinking back on it, Sakura couldn’t say exactly why she had kissed | |
| 589 Tomoyo. Only that she had to. That every ounce of her being had been | |
| 590 wholeheartedly for the idea and that she had merely carried through | |
| 591 with it. The single kiss she and Tomoyo had shared several nights | |
| 592 before had been the most powerful kiss Sakura had ever felt in her | |
| 593 life. Not for the way Tomoyo kissed, no. Tomoyo’s kisses were | |
| 594 delicate, like sweet butterflies, gentle and slow. But it was the way | |
| 595 it grasped onto her heart and soul and burned through her with a | |
| 596 strength that made her feel truly alive. More alive than she had ever | |
| 597 felt in her life. Right there. With Tomoyo. The kiss lengthened, | |
| 598 Tomoyo’s petal soft lips parting her own ever so slightly as it | |
| 599 continued. Sakura could do nothing but hold tightly onto the dark | |
| 600 haired woman, hoping once more that the morning would never come. Her | |
| 601 fingers found themselves at home in Tomoyo’s luxurious lavender hair, | |
| 602 brushing through the soft curls. “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered as | |
| 603 she finally gasped for breath. Her body was nearly shuddering but not | |
| 604 from lack of air. Tomoyo’s pale cheeks had reached a beautiful | |
| 605 crimson hue that she was sure her own were probably matching at the | |
| 606 moment. “Hanyaa...” | |
| 607 A musical giggle escaped Tomoyo at that. She was still a little | |
| 608 surprised by Sakura’s sudden action, but she was glad for it. If only | |
| 609 she could save kisses in her scrapbook as easily as she could store | |
| 610 photos. But this was something she was sure her memory would never | |
| 611 forget, even if it would be nice to have videotaped the event. It got | |
| 612 rid of any doubts she may have had about Sakura’s involvement in the | |
| 613 previous kiss. This time there had been no prompting. Sakura was the | |
| 614 one who had kissed her. She felt delightedly thrilled at that. Sakura | |
| 615 had kissed her. What a wonderful way to bring her last night in Hong | |
| 616 Kong to a close. With a kiss from Sakura. Time may not be able to | |
| 617 stop on a single moment, but those moments were forever carried | |
| 618 forward as long as they were held onto by a loving heart. “Thank you | |
| 619 again for everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll never forget any of this. | |
| 620 You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could possibly be.” | |
| 621 Smiling sweetly, she kissed Sakura’s cheek. A dreamy sigh escaped her | |
| 622 lips as she tilted her head to the side. “Sakura-chan is a such a | |
| 623 fantastic kisser. So genki.” | |
| 624 Sakura felt herself blushing at Tomoyo’s words. But it hardly seemed | |
| 625 to matter. She hugged her best friend tightly, feeling fuzzy and | |
| 626 peaceful and content again, though her frazzled thoughts still longed | |
| 627 for more, to feel those creamy lips again. She shook her head, | |
| 628 blushing darker. She had no idea why kissing Tomoyo affected her so | |
| 629 deeply, but she loved the way it felt, both during the kiss and in | |
| 630 her arms afterwards. If only... Her eyes widened after they finally | |
| 631 fell upon her watch. Just how long had they been dancing? “Tomoyo- | |
| 632 chan, we need to get home if we’re going to get you packed in time | |
| 633 for your flight and if you’re going to get any sleep.” | |
| 634 “I can always sleep on the plane, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said sweetly, | |
| 635 stroking Sakura’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I want to spend the | |
| 636 last of my time with you.” This was it. Her last few hours with | |
| 637 Sakura. She wanted to do anything but sleep at the moment, her heart | |
| 638 racing as she enjoyed the close proximity to her friend. All she | |
| 639 wanted was to be with Sakura for as long as she could. To be with her | |
| 640 Cardmistress until she was finally pulled away. Her eyes sparkled as | |
| 641 she watched Sakura, each gentle caress whispering her love to the | |
| 642 brunette. | |
| 643 Sakura hugged Tomoyo tightly and nodded. Sleep seemed to be the | |
| 644 furthest thing from her mind as well. She had finally gotten Tomoyo | |
| 645 up to Hong Kong and she wanted to hold onto her forever. “Would you | |
| 646 like to dance again?” Sakura asked curiously. | |
| 647 “With all my heart, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered in reply, her | |
| 648 eyes never leaving Sakura’s. There was only now. And in this now, | |
| 649 there was only herself and Sakura. Tomorrow could wait. | |
| 650 |