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[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Hello everyone! ^-^ This is our first Card Captor Sakura and its also our first
2 real depressing story, but please stick it out till the end. ^^; We really hope you
3 enjoy this. ^^ We’d love to know what you think so please e-mail us at:
4 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
5 We’d like to write more CCS stories (we’re working on a more lighthearted one
6 already) so hopefully we’ll actually get around to them sometime soon. ^^;
7 Tomoyo and Sakura are just so cute together. ^=^
8
9
10 Fallen Horses
11
12 By Amazoness Duo
13
14
15 Tomoyo clutched the blade tightly in her hand. She was happy for Sakura. She
16 was always happy for Sakura. No matter what. She loved her, but what did
17 that matter? If Sakura was in love with someone else, then she'd be happy
18 for Sakura. How could she be selfish? She'd never been selfish about Sakura
19 before. Why start now?
20
21 Sakura meant everything to Tomoyo. She was her life. What else did
22 she have now? She knew she'd end up like her mother, losing the one person
23 she truly loved. She'd grow older alone, maybe having a daughter and
24 continuing the cycle that had begun with her mother.
25
26 Tomoyo looked around her dark room again. The curtains were drawn tightly,
27 leaving the room heavily shadowed. She saw her video camera lying on her
28 dresser. How many times had she used that to record her love? How many times
29 had she watched Sakura over and over from the tapes she'd recorded?
30 The dark haired girl sighed sadly and switched off the TV that had been
31 playing the flickering images of the one she loved. Making the costumes Sakura
32 had worn and videotaping her wearing them had been some of the happiest
33 times in her life. Happy times she knew she'd no longer have.
34
35 She had seen Sakura kiss him. That had hurt her more than any physical
36 thing ever could. It cut deeply into her soul. She'd tried not to let it get
37 to her too badly, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. He had won. He had
38 gotten Sakura. She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter. She loved
39 Sakura and she'd be happy as long as Sakura was happy. And Sakura was
40 definitely happy. Tomoyo couldn't handle it anymore. She loved the other
41 girl so much. It felt like her life was over now that Sakura had fallen in
42 love with someone else.
43
44 Tomoyo had told Sakura that she was in love with her before. But Sakura
45 thought she was talking about the love of a friend. That had hurt to some
46 extent, too. She had intended to tell Sakura when she thought the brown haired
47 girl was mature enough to understand, but now it seemed she was too late.
48 Would it have changed anything had she explained to Sakura earlier? Would
49 things have still turned out this way? What would Sakura think if she knew
50 Tomoyo was in love with her? It could destroy the only thing still important to
51 Tomoyo, their friendship.
52
53 Tomoyo was left with a difficult decision to make. She paced nervously as
54 she held the blade. She could try to tell Sakura so the other girl would at
55 least know. Or she could end things now before she destroyed their
56 friendship.
57
58 Tomoyo looked at the picture of Sakura she kept on her nightstand. She was the
59 most beautiful thing Tomoyo had ever seen. She winced as she felt
60 the biting edge of the knife pressed against her wrist. Tears ran down her
61 cheeks as she slumped to her knees, unsure of what to do, her mind filled
62 with conflicting thoughts. What about everyone else? Could she really leave
63 them all behind? What would they think if she was gone? But it hurt so much.
64 She loved Sakura so much. She would always love her. She didn't want to go
65 on if she knew Sakura would never love her. She'd tried to be happy for
66 Sakura, but that didn't keep the emptiness from filling her. There was a void
67 inside her that seemed to grow everyday. She'd tried to talk to her mom, but
68 her heart had sunk further when she'd heard of her mother's own tragic love for
69 Nadeshiko. She could try to tell Sakura, but what good could it do now? Wasn't
70 it too late? How could she compete? Sakura loved him, didn't she?
71
72 Tomoyo gasped as the knife pushed deeper against her pale skin.
73 "Sakura-chan," she said, her voice cracking. "I love you, Sakura-chan."
74
75 ********
76
77 Sakura weeped over the grave of her best friend. Her shaking hand set down
78 some flowers on the cold, damp ground. 'If only I'd told you earlier,' Sakura
79 thought to herself. 'Would you still be here now if I'd told you how I
80 felt?' The girl was wracked by sobs as she stared at the tombstone. This was
81 unfair. She was the Card Mistress. Things weren't supposed to end up like
82 this. She'd do anything to bring the dark haired girl back. Hot tears fell from
83 her chin to the cold dirt below. "Tomoyo," she cried sadly.
84
85 ******
86
87 Sakura woke up drenched in sweat, her sheets tangled around her. Her heart was
88 beating heavily in her chest, as if trying to escape. She gasped for breath, trying
89 to think, trying to get rid of the horrid images still invading her mind. ‘It was
90 just a dream,’ she told herself over and over. Tomoyo was just a phone call
91 away. She’d see her the next day at school. Everything was fine. She sat
92 uncomfortably in bed, kicking the sheets off of her. Was everything really fine?
93
94 When she’d finally found out how Tomoyo felt about her, she’d acted scared,
95 uncertain. Tomoyo had just smiled and told her that she was glad to get to tell
96 her, but the smile hadn’t reached her eyes. They had lost the sparkle they’d held
97 moments before. They seemed empty, sad. Had she acted too harshly? She
98 hadn’t meant to, but she’d been so shocked. She had no idea her best friend was
99 in love with her. What was she supposed to do? What could she say? Tomoyo
100 had left, but she hadn’t gone after her. She’d just sat there as the dark haired girl
101 walked away. When she’d worked up the courage later, she tried to call
102 Tomoyo, but her mother said she wouldn’t answer.
103
104 Sakura realized Tomoyo must have been scared to tell her. The dark haired girl
105 had no idea how Sakura would react if she knew. Yet she’d told her anyway.
106 Tomoyo must have been scared of what would happen next but she had told her.
107 And Sakura had hurt her friend with her reaction. She had hurt her friend badly.
108
109 As she stared straight ahead in the darkness, she remembered how Tomoyo had
110 told her before, when they were younger. And how she hadn’t understood what
111 the dark haired girl had meant. Tomoyo said she’d tell Sakura when they were
112 older and she did. In retrospect Sakura wondered how she could have been so
113 blind to Tomoyo’s affections. So much made since now that she knew. It was
114 like a fog had been lifted.
115
116 Why had she acted the way she did when Tomoyo had told her? Because she
117 was scared, she told herself. She was scared because she didn’t understand. How
118 could she be in love with her? They were both girls. They’re mothers were
119 cousins. They were best friends. Because she just was afraid. She was afraid of
120 what might happen. They’d been best friends ever since Sakura had given
121 Tomoyo an eraser in class. They had been best friends for so long. What would
122 happen now? Would that change between them if Tomoyo loved her? No, she’d
123 felt that way for a long time so the only thing that would change would be
124 Sakura. Would things change if they were in love? Perhaps that thought had
125 frightened Sakura the most. The thought that maybe she echoed Tomoyo’s
126 feelings. After some soul searching over the past few days, she knew how she
127 felt. She was in love with Tomoyo as well.
128
129 But now what could she do? Tomoyo wouldn’t even talk to her. What if she did
130 go as far as in the dream? Now, when Sakura realized how she felt about the
131 dark haired girl, the reality that Tomoyo could be stripped from her so easily
132 chilled her to the bones. She tried to think of what Tomoyo was doing at this
133 instant, but none of the thoughts eased her mind. She was filled with dread as
134 she remembered some of the premonitions she’d had in dreams before. Could
135 this be one of them? She couldn’t lose Tomoyo now. She just couldn’t.
136
137 Sakura stood up in bed, the soft sheets rustling against her bare feet. She
138 climbed off onto the carpet and looked around for her staff. She clutched it
139 tightly and headed for the window. Cold air blew into her room as she opened
140 the window. Her sweat drenched pajamas clung to her. She shivered and
141 climbed outside. She knew what she had to do. She had to see Tomoyo. She had
142 to know she was all right. She had to tell her how she felt before it was too late.
143
144 “Fly!” She yelled as she invoked the power of the Clow Cards. Two angel wings
145 appeared on her back. Hopping into the air, she flew as fast as she could towards
146 Tomoyo’s house. She willed herself to go faster, hoping she wasn’t too late,
147 praying it was just a dream. The landscape beneath her blurred from the speed
148 she was going and her own tears. She blinked them back, trying to concentrate.
149 Her pajamas rustled against the biting wind.
150
151 She almost missed the luxurious house Tomoyo and her mother shared because
152 of her frantic hurry. She flew closer to the house, trying desperately to spot
153 Tomoyo’s window. She made a silent prayer that the light would be on, that the
154 dark haired girl was still awake watching a video or sewing a costume.
155 Something, anything. She finally spotted Tomoyo’s window. The light was off
156 and her blinds were closed. The pit in Sakura’s stomach doubled in size. Her
157 heart thundered as she reached out to the window. She rapped on it heavily,
158 trying to wake the dark haired girl up, hoping she could wake up. The wind blew
159 past her again as she waited for some response. Even Tomoyo being angry with
160 her would be better than this…silence. She prepared to knock again, louder this
161 time, when the window opened.
162
163 Tomoyo groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She pulled her blanket tighter
164 around herself as the wind blew inside. “Sakura-chan?” she asked sleepily.
165
166 “Tomoyo-chan!” Sakura practically bolted into the room. Her arms went around
167 the unprepared dark haired girl and dragged her close. “Oh, Tomoyo,” she
168 sobbed.
169
170 Tomoyo abruptly got worried at the sound of Sakura’s voice. She felt the other
171 girl’s warm tears on her bare shoulder. “Sakura? What’s wrong?” Sakura
172 shuddered against her, relief flooding into her. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan.
173 It’s okay. Please tell me.”
174
175 The comforting tone in Tomoyo’s soft voice carried through Sakura. The tears
176 slowly trickled to a stop. “Tomoyo, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried.”
177 Her voice wavered as she spoke.
178
179 “Me?” Tomoyo asked surprised. “Sakura, I’m fine.”
180
181 “Are you?” Sakura asked quietly. The dark haired girl looked away. She tried to
182 say something, but nothing came out when she tried. She didn’t know what to
183 say to Sakura. “Tomoyo, look at me. Please?” Sakura’s pleading voice broke in
184 through Tomoyo’s thoughts. She slowly turned back to face the other girl. “I
185 was so scared. I’d thought…. I thought you were gone. I thought I’d never see
186 you again. That scared me more than anything ever has.”
187
188 “You mean… No, Sakura-chan, I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Tomoyo
189 smiled reassuringly. Sakura’s gaze went to a knife on Tomoyo’s nightstand. The
190 dark haired girl laughed nervously. “That’s for cutting some threads on your
191 outfits I’m making.”
192
193 “Tomoyo, I don’t want to live without you,” Sakura said sadly. “I couldn’t live
194 with myself if anything ever happened to you. Please don’t leave me like that. I
195 know I hurt you, but I’m sorry.” Tears started to fill her eyes again as she looked
196 directly at Tomoyo.
197
198 Tomoyo couldn’t meet Sakura’s gaze. “Sakura…” she said weakly. She loved
199 the other girl more than her own life. She’d been heartbroken when Sakura had
200 reacted frightened to her confession of love. She just wanted Sakura to know, to
201 understand how she felt. Sakura’s fingers on her chin brought her eyes up to
202 meet Sakura’s. “Sakura, I…”
203
204 “I love you,” Sakura said before the dark haired girl got the chance. She leaned
205 in and kissed Tomoyo softly on the lips. She felt a warmth in her heart as they
206 kissed. The dark haired girl’s lips were heaven.
207
208 Tomoyo’s eyes went wide and her hands fell to her sides. She was completely
209 caught off guard by Sakura’s sudden words. Her spirits soared as the realization
210 of Sakura’s words hit her. Her eyes closed halfway and tears slowly slid down
211 her cheeks. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do.
212 Tomoyo kissed Sakura back, a dream she’d long held fulfilled in the space of
213 one blissful moment.
214
215 Blushing after they pulled apart, Sakura looked deeply into Tomoyo’s eyes.
216 “Tomoyo-chan, I love you,” she said again. She waited nervously for the other
217 girl’s reply. What if Tomoyo was still mad at her for earlier? What if she
218 decided she didn’t need Sakura? What would happen to the two of them? Sakura
219 banished the thoughts from her mind. She was scared about what might happen
220 now that she’d admitted how she felt, but she pushed those feelings back. She
221 wasn’t going to let it control her. Love was more important than fear. She
222 couldn’t let it stop her.
223
224 “Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s arms wrapped around the other girl. She’d dreamed
225 of hearing those words over and over for years in her dreams, practicing what
226 she’d say in her mind when she was awake. She just wanted to hold Sakura, to
227 be in her arms forever. “Sakura, I love you so much.”
228
229 Sakura smiled. Things would be fine. She and Tomoyo had gotten through so
230 much since they were little kids. They’d always been there for each other. They
231 could make it through this, too. They would together. “Tomoyo-chan, just
232 promise me. Promise me you’ll never leave me,” she said, trying to shake the
233 last images from her dream.
234
235 Tomoyo’s heart ached at the serious look on Sakura’s face. She had never
236 wanted to make her sad. “I promise. I love you, Sakura. Forever.”
237
238 “Forever,” Sakura repeated, a smile spreading on her lips. She leaned in and
239 kissed Tomoyo again, this time more passionately. The two stayed that way for
240 a long time, kissing and holding each other, neither wanting to let go. After what
241 seemed like an eternity, they finally parted.
242
243 “Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said softly. “Don’t go.”
244
245 Sakura looked hesitantly back at Tomoyo. Those big dark blue eyes beckoned
246 her to stay. She turned her gaze back to the window. She knew her father and
247 brother would get worried if she wasn’t there when they woke up. And
248 Tomoyo’s mother would probably want an explanation of what she was doing
249 here. Yet, she wanted to stay. Let everything come in the morning,. They could
250 deal with it then. After everything that had happened, she didn’t want to up and
251 leave Tomoyo alone right now. After telling the other girl she was in love with
252 her, there was so much they both wanted to say, to know. She again turned back
253 at Tomoyo. The dark haired girl looked at her hopefully. Sakura reached over
254 and closed the window. Tomoyo smiled brightly.
255
256 As the two lay whispering to each other on Tomoyo’s bed, they let everything
257 poor out. Feelings and emotions, dreams and worries. All the tension from the
258 past few days drained away as the two lay in a tight embrace. They slowly
259 drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning.
260
261 The dim outline of Nadeshiko smiled approvingly at the two sleeping girls. An
262 ethereal hand gently brushed through her daughter’s hair. Sakura’s dream had
263 been a frightening one, but in the end it had brought her together with the one
264 she loved. Slowly backing away from the bed, Nadeshiko felt a twinge of guilt
265 for having to put Sakura through that. She had sent the dream as a way to
266 motivate Sakura into revealing her true feelings. She hadn’t wanted to scare her
267 like that, but for Sakura to be happy she had to accept how she felt. She was
268 glad it had wound up so well. She knew her daughter would be fine. She had
269 always looked out for her and now she knew someone else would, too. She
270 smiled to herself as she started to fade away. “Sleep well, Sakura,” she said, her
271 voice hardly above a whisper, before she disappeared.
272