Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison old/stories/ccs_tearfulnights.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights
[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
| author | rlm |
|---|---|
| date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500 |
| parents | |
| children |
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| 1:dbe144217c71 | 2:fc00894c1d4a |
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| 1 Tearful Nights | |
| 2 by rphjas | |
| 3 rphjas@yahoo.com | |
| 4 | |
| 5 -------------- | |
| 6 | |
| 7 With wet lavender eyes, I look upon sparkling stars. Do I pray to a | |
| 8 higher power? Do I whisper my fears and dilemmas to the night? I love | |
| 9 her, and she loves me. But, my love is more mature than I am and also | |
| 10 much more than hers. If I had the courage, I would one day tell | |
| 11 her..in Penguin Park. I would whisper the three simple words. But, | |
| 12 would she understand? Would she see through all of my masks and | |
| 13 disguises? | |
| 14 | |
| 15 I sew every costume with stitches of pure love. I sing my songs to | |
| 16 her with all of my heart. Does she feel the fabrics I weave..clinging | |
| 17 to her slender form? Do her ears hear my songs of longing? I am | |
| 18 afraid...afraid of rejection. Is it not better to be a friend than a | |
| 19 stranger? Is it better to be in her world even a little than all | |
| 20 alone? If I knew the future, I would know what to do. I would know | |
| 21 the risk is worthwhile. But, I am still unsure. I have no confidence. | |
| 22 | |
| 23 Would she think me perverted..loving her like I do? Would she run | |
| 24 away in revulsion? Would she? Why is my heart so torn? I see her each | |
| 25 day in school. She lets me film her every day. I spend all my free | |
| 26 time with her or doing things for her. I watch her videos again and | |
| 27 again until I memorize each phrase and line of her figure. Her face | |
| 28 leads me into the sleepiness of dreams. I hug my pillows..as if they | |
| 29 were her. | |
| 30 | |
| 31 This starry night .. I wonder .. is she thinking about me? Is she | |
| 32 dreaming of me? Do her cards quietly reveal my intentions..my | |
| 33 feelings? I wonder if she will ever be..ever be able to love me. I | |
| 34 would..I would give her my life..to save her own. But, how many times | |
| 35 has she risked her own for my sake? The number is too high. Would it | |
| 36 be better if I vanished..faded from her world? Each night, I am torn | |
| 37 and wake up weary wrestling these questions. The uncertainty of the | |
| 38 future is weighing me down. But, I manage to put on my cheerful mask | |
| 39 each morning before I see her. She does not know. She can never know | |
| 40 my nightly bouts.. | |
| 41 | |
| 42 One sleepover, she let me brush her hair..even hug her long and | |
| 43 close. Surprisingly, she let me kiss her because she wondered why it | |
| 44 was such a big fuss with the older students. Her energy pulsed | |
| 45 through to my core. Her sweet taste lingered on my lips the entire | |
| 46 night! Oh, I was so very happy. Even now, I can remember her soft | |
| 47 full lips..the silk of her hair..the firm athletic body. Like some | |
| 48 drug, I crave more. But so far, only that one night was so very | |
| 49 special. I could not tape it. But, the memories are burned into me | |
| 50 forever. | |
| 51 | |
| 52 Will hope be my lifeline..in the stormy seas of life? Will it help | |
| 53 me persevere until she someday loves me..? |