Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison old/stories/althea2.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights
[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author | rlm |
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date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500 |
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1 Why | |
2 by Althea K. | |
3 | |
4 | |
5 | |
6 I know you couldn't possibly understand. And that's alright. I don't | |
7 expect you to. | |
8 | |
9 And I know that if I did try to explain it to you, you would protest | |
10 and say that I'm wrong, that no one will ever be more important to | |
11 you than I. And that's alright, too. Because I would know you didn't | |
12 mean to lie. | |
13 | |
14 Someday, you'll be gone. Oh, sure, we might stay in touch: | |
15 occasional phone calls with long, uncomfortable silences, chance | |
16 meetings in public places involving forced, halting conversation and | |
17 maybe some awkward attempt at physical contact. But do you honestly | |
18 believe that as the years go by we'll be able to maintain this kind | |
19 of intensity? Believe me, there is nothing I would love more than to | |
20 remain forever the center of your universe, the focus of your life, | |
21 that routine yet joyous event that every day must be planned around. | |
22 I would love so much to spend my every moment by your side, to always | |
23 have your voice, rough with sleep, be the very first I hear when I | |
24 wake each morning. | |
25 | |
26 But this will never be my place. | |
27 | |
28 For now I can race through the streets with your hand clasped in | |
29 mine; for now I can collapse on the dewey grass with you, my head | |
30 resting on your soft belly until the last crazed traces of laughter | |
31 have faded from that violent hitching and heaving to the subtlety of | |
32 your gentle, steady breath. But there will come a time when I can no | |
33 longer crawl into bed with you and dream of your ever loving me as I | |
34 love you and pretend to feel your lips against my forehead as I drift | |
35 into sleep. There will come a time when there is another in that | |
36 place. This fortunate person will be honoured with that goodnight | |
37 kiss I have always secretly longed for but never could request from | |
38 you. | |
39 | |
40 Our time together is so limited; I must cherish every moment I can | |
41 get. I must burn each and every moment into my memory, tuck each one | |
42 away for those bitter times ahead when I will have to watch you from | |
43 a distance, walking by his side. What else will keep me warm those | |
44 cold nights when you will run to his arms instead of mine? | |
45 | |
46 There is no way to make you understand such things. I can see it in | |
47 your eyes, can feel it in your touch.. | |
48 | |
49 I wish you wouldn't ask me. | |
50 | |
51 Whenever I can't answer a question of yours with total honesty, I | |
52 feel sick in my heart. I feel like I have lied to you, have somehow | |
53 let you down. But if I told you the whole truth, you wouldn't | |
54 understand. You simply wouldn't see. The innocence in your voice when | |
55 you ask me is enough to make this certain fact. What good would it do | |
56 to confuse you, perhaps to frighten you? I don't want to make you cry. | |
57 | |
58 And you would, wouldn't you? Cry and deny and cling to my arm. | |
59 Tangle loving fingers in my hair and tell me the end will never come. | |
60 Sing sweet lies to me, unable to see the truth through your tears of | |
61 naivety. | |
62 | |
63 I wish you could blind me with those tears. I wish that I didn't | |
64 have to see the lonely nights ahead of me with such perfect clarity. | |
65 I could put away my camera and grab your hand and dance with you | |
66 until the years fall away like sheets of silk.. I could... I could.. | |
67 | |
68 I could fall asleep on a pillow no longer damp with tears. | |
69 | |
70 I could enjoy each moment without the desperate need to capture it | |
71 on film. | |
72 | |
73 I could put away my camera without fear of missing anything.. | |
74 | |
75 Oh.. I wish I could forget... | |
76 | |
77 Every smile... Every laugh... I must hold... forever. | |
78 | |
79 It may be the last you ever share with me. | |
80 | |
81 | |
82 | |
83 | |
84 --------------------------------------------------------------------- | |
85 ----------- | |
86 | |
87 | |
88 (Legal Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Card Captor | |
89 Sakura belong to CLAMP and.. whoever else holds the rights.) | |
90 | |
91 (Author's Note: If you want to use this fanfic on your website, want | |
92 to talk about anime lesbians, or don't know what the hell this fanfic | |
93 was about, please email me at either womanprince@hotmail.com or | |
94 poorjuri@hotmail.com. Thank you.) |