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[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 This story is a songfic about ChibiUsa a while after Hotaru has died in
2 a battle. The song is ‘Melodies of Life’, a beautiful song from Final
3 Fantasy 9 sung by Emiko Shiratori and written by Nobuo Uematsu. The
4 gorgeous characters were created by the wonderfully talented Naoko
5 Takeuchi.
6
7 Melodies of Life
8 By Amazoness Quartet
9 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
10 ----------------
11
12 ~Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
13 For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
14 To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
15 Melodies of life--love's lost refrain~
16
17 Why did you have to leave me? I loved you so much. I still do.
18 That’s why it still hurts so badly whenever I think about you. My mom
19 says I’ve been growing distant, that I’m always lost in thought. That
20 can’t be good for the next Queen of Crystal Tokyo. But I can’t help it,
21 Hotaru. I miss you. When I close my eyes, I can still see that shy
22 smile of yours, hear your soft voice calling me. I’ll always love you,
23 even if we can’t be together. Why wouldn’t you let me come with you?
24 Maybe I could have helped. And even if I couldn’t, at least we would
25 have died together. You told me when you had grown up again that it was
26 to fight alongside me. Why couldn’t I fight alongside you then? I know
27 you wanted to protect me, but it hurts so much without you. It’s so
28 hard to keep going. But every time I falter, every time I fall, I can
29 feel you there with me, helping me make it through.
30
31 ~Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
32 We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
33 And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
34 Let them ring out loud till they unfold~
35
36 You were always so sad, Hotaru. Just lurking under the surface,
37 like you could never completely escape it. Even when I could lure that
38 smile out of you or hear your laugh, it was still there. I could never
39 completely cure that sadness inside of you. I told you that we’d be
40 together forever and you smiled a little sadly and didn’t say anything.
41 I always wondered why you looked on the dark side of things so often,
42 but I was determined to show you that things could work out. That you
43 could have a happy ending. But now as I look back on it all, was I just
44 naïve? Did you know all along that it would come to this? All the
45 dreams we had shared will never take place now. All the promises I had
46 made of our beautiful future together. I wanted to keep them so dearly,
47 Hotaru. And I’d probably promise you them all over again if you were
48 here, even after all that’s happened.
49
50 ~In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
51 Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name~
52
53 Looking around feverishly, I find myself once again in my bed.
54 Looking next to me, I almost expect to see you there, asleep after a
55 passion filled night, or maybe just reading a book as you watched me
56 dozing. Your beautiful pale body seemed to shine in the moonlight,
57 though I needed no such prompting to go to you. I swear I can hear your
58 voice sometimes, even though Diana says she doesn’t hear anything.
59 Careful not to wake my guardian cat, I sneak outside to the balcony.
60 Its cold out, but I don’t care. Not anymore. I remember when I used to
61 find you out here late at night, staring at the stars. I’d ask you to
62 come back inside but you’d always say you weren’t tired. I would go
63 back in for a few seconds and come back with a blanket for the two of
64 us to share. Sometimes I’d ask what it was and other times you’d look
65 like you didn’t want to talk about it. But it didn’t matter because we
66 were together. Is that what you were trying to teach me whenever I’d
67 feel bad about not being able to fix things for you and you’d tell me
68 that wasn’t what was important? I hug myself tighter as the cold starts
69 to set in. I don’t want to go back inside now. Not yet.
70
71 ~A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
72 Adding up the layers of harmony
73 And so it goes, on and on
74 Melodies of life,
75 To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond~
76
77 When I look back on things, it seems like a blur sometimes. When
78 we first met, when I saw you smile for the first time, when you
79 returned to me, when we first kissed, when we would share our hopes and
80 dreams in each other’s arms, when I saw you for the last time with that
81 determined look on your face... I’m crying again, I realize. I should
82 hide it before mother sees, but I can’t find the will. She wants me to
83 be strong, to work my way through this, but I’m not as strong as you.
84 You suffered through so much, Hotaru. You took it all and yet you
85 continued on. You would never admit it. You never saw the strength in
86 yourself that I always saw in you.
87
88 ~So far and away, see the bird as it flies by
89 Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
90 I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
91 Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings~
92
93 Sometime later, I find myself sitting barefoot on the hill where
94 I spent so much time as a child, leaning against an old tree that has
95 grown there. Here I can lose myself in my memories and forget all
96 that’s happened. The birds are beautiful, Hotaru, but not as beautiful
97 as the fireflies. Sometimes I’ll come out late at night and watch them.
98 Sometimes I even think I see you amongst them, carefree and happy at
99 last. It may last for just a split second out of the corner of my eye,
100 but that sight alone gives me the strength I need to push forward. I
101 know I can’t have you back, but sometimes its nice to pretend, ne? I
102 smile a little as I watch the city in the distance. I don’t know what
103 lies ahead of me, but I promise I’ll always remember you, that I’ll
104 always love you.
105
106 ~In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
107 Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?~
108
109 I’ve lost you so many times. I had thought that this time would
110 be no different, that we’d find ourselves in the other’s arms before it
111 was through. But it didn’t work out that way. It was such a cruel trick
112 fate played, letting me fall in love with you before snatching you away
113 from me. But I would do it all over again if I had the choice. It was
114 so painful, but the joy you made me feel was worth so much more. I know
115 we’ll be together again. Because... because I know that you love me,
116 too.
117
118 ~A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
119 Adding up the layers of harmony
120 And so it goes, on and on
121 Melodies of life,
122 To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond~
123
124 “ChibiUsa-chan..?”
125 I hear a soft voice whisper behind me, ripping me from my
126 thoughts. That voice... My heart starts beating furiously as I sit up
127 on my knees. It’s almost impossible to breath as I struggle to turn
128 around quickly enough. It’s.. you... Standing up, I almost fall back
129 down again. My vision blurs as tears start to form in my eyes. “Hotaru-
130 chan?” I ask weakly as I stumble towards you. You merely smile, dark
131 eyes shining with the inner beauty that made me fall in love with you
132 in the first place. I throw myself into her arms, you stagger back
133 under my assault. Sobs wrack my body as I hold onto you tightly. I’ve
134 missed you so much. There’s been so much I wanted to tell you, but
135 words escape me right now. I want to hold on to you for eternity, to
136 never let go again. I can feel your fingers brushing through my hair
137 and I feel myself sobbing more uncontrollably at the memories. Looking
138 up, I see tears in your own dark eyes. Oh, Hotaru...
139
140 ~If I should leave this lonely world behind
141 Your voice will still remember our melody
142 Now I know we'll carry on
143 Melodies of life
144 Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
145 As long as we remember~
146
147 I want to hear you promise me that we’ll always be together, that you’ll never leave my side again,
148 but its enough for me just to have you here with me now. I know that this time we don’t need promises like
149 that. Because this time I know that we’ll always be together, even if one of us dies. Because you were with
150 me through every step I took while you were gone. Just as I’d be there with you. But I’m so glad to have
151 you here like this nonetheless. Clutching onto you tighter, I bury my face against your shoulder.
152 Your answer to all of my unasked questions sends a warm spark through my body as your lips
153 press against my own. I feel myself kissing back with all the strength I can muster as the tension from the
154 past few years drains away from me in the space of seconds. I feel alive again in your arms. Truly alive.
155 “How..?” I ask softly.
156 You just smile again and kiss me softly. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan.”
157 I love you, too, Hotaru. And I always will.