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author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500
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1 Hi!
2 Words written like _this_ are in Italics.
3 This is kind of an epilogue to the trilogy Hotaru's Pain. It makes
4 more sense if you read that one first, but what do I care about
5 what you do. I kinda like this story.
6
7
8 Letters from Desolation Row
9 By the Ghost of 'lectricity
10
11
12 Prologue
13 Tangled up in Blue
14
15 So now I'm goin' back again
16 Got to get to her somehow
17 We always did feel the same
18 We just saw it from a different point of view
19
20 Bob Dylan
21
22
23 Part 1
24 Desolation Row
25
26 A young woman was sitting under a massive tree atop a hill. It
27 was a strong and a very old tree; it must have stood there for
28 ages. The leaves of the mighty tree were filtering the warm
29 sunlight as it shone down in golden blots upon the woman. A warm
30 summer breeze was blowing up the hill, tangling the woman's black
31 hair with little tongues of air licking past her face. Tufts of her
32 hair were swirled about and danced around her neck while the wind
33 relieved a bit of the heat of the summer afternoon.
34 In the valley below the hill, spread before the woman, lay the
35 city of Crystal Tokyo, home of Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion
36 - and their daughter.
37 The woman looked about twenty, twenty-five at best. As young as
38 her body seemed, her eyes told a whole different story. Her dark
39 jewels lost the glow of youth a long time ago. Her eyes were that
40 of an old woman, a woman who has seen generations go by, who has
41 seen lives of people that grew close to her wither away like the
42 leaves of this mighty tree do every year. A woman who has witnessed
43 horrors other people never dare to think of, let alone imagine
44 them.
45 The only one who could still smile genuinely after all those years
46 was the queen. And how couldn't she... She had someone to love her,
47 someone as immortal as they all were. And she had a beautiful
48 daughter.
49 Oh, had she have never met her, how different her life would be.
50 She would have died long ago, the torture of immortality would have
51 been spared to her. Her loneliness would have lasted only a
52 lifetime, her object of desire would have stayed hidden from her
53 eyes. But now she must face eternity alone, with her princess just
54 within reach, yet so unattainable.
55 People regarded them as angels, avatars, or something similar yet
56 she was already broken, long before the sky will ever open for her.
57 Forsaken she was sinking beneath the flood of tears that dried out
58 centuries ago.
59 How she wished she could be as strong as this tree was. But she
60 wasn't. She was weak. Who would want someone as weak as her? Why
61 does a princess want someone as weak as her?
62
63
64 Part 2
65 Blood in my Eyes
66
67 A young woman was heading up a hill to the north of Crystal Tokyo.
68 The hill was off grounds for the citizens of Crystal Tokyo. The
69 hill was off grounds even for the members of the Royal Family and
70 the Senshi. The hill had a concentrated amount of negative energy.
71 Many fatal accidents happened here in the recent past, the few
72 suicides that were committed in this city of angels were committed
73 here.
74 The hot summer afternoon was already turning into evening but the
75 heat was still unbearable. The hands and knees of the young woman
76 were bleeding as she fell to the ground more than once - the heat
77 and the negative karma taking their toll. And yet she continued
78 walking the path that led her to the top. For someone was waiting
79 at the top. Someone who has been waiting there for a long time.
80 Once she had already walked this path in vain. The one atop the
81 hill sent her away... But why? They had sworn each other love. But
82 that was a long time ago for the one atop the hill. Did she tire of
83 waiting? But why is she still up there then? It just doesn't make
84 sense...
85 The young woman's eyes filled with tears each time she thought
86 about walking this path down alone _again_. But this time the dark
87 beauty on the hill had a promise to keep. She smiled at how easily
88 and without thinking she gave away that promise. She couldn't help
89 but wonder if she regrets that promise now. Why was it so simple
90 then and why is it so hard now? If she walks this path down alone,
91 this time she'll at least know why. Although she doubted she'd ever
92 get over it.
93 Her feet were hurting tremendously, her knees were bleeding as
94 well as her hands. The sweat from her forehead was dripping into
95 her eyes, already sore from her crying. She needed a rest badly.
96 She wanted to stop right then and there but something drove her on.
97 _Again_. She fell to the rocky ground again. Leaving some blood
98 and her wish to stop behind she rose to her feet and continued her
99 journey through the thorns. For if there was one thing she ever
100 learned from her mother it was to have faith in love. And to fight
101 for love. Because love _will_ find a way.
102
103
104 Part 3
105 Shot of Love
106
107 There she is. She just scaled the crest and now she's standing
108 there as if stricken by lightning. I knew she'd come. That spoiled
109 brat. Can't she understand there are certain things she cannot
110 have? As soon as I heard she went back I knew she'd come sooner or
111 later. When I woke up this morning with this new memories inside my
112 head it was as clear as day to me. And the promise. The promise she
113 forced out of my 20th century self. But if I'm honest I have to
114 admit that she didn't force it. She couldn't do that. She's too
115 good to do that. If I had felt in any way unsure about it she
116 wouldn't pursue it further. I was so naive then. Then she was only
117 my lover. Now she's the princess.
118 She's still standing there. Watching me. Watching me watching her
119 watching me. Her white royal gown with the golden rings over her
120 chest. The wind is playing with her pigtails and the ends of her
121 dress. Her pigtails are slightly different than her mother's. They
122 are a bit puffier at their base and reach only to her knees at
123 best. But basically the same impossible hairstyle only the two
124 manage to pull off without looking silly. Her arms are hanging
125 helplessly at her sides, the golden rings over her chest are being
126 lifted and dropped by her heavy breathing. But something is wrong.
127 I didn't notice it at first - I admit that her sight entranced me.
128 Her dress is stained with blood, her eyes are red. Her hair is in a
129 mess, the golden rings aren't perfectly in place... But actually
130 they never are. She is probably the messiest princess there ever
131 was.
132 And yet she's so graceful - a sight to behold.
133 Now she has finally overcome the fear and she's walking up to me.
134 Slowly and unsure. The path leading to the top is rocky, but up her
135 grass is growing. I stand up; she's right in front of me. How long
136 will she be able to meet my gaze like that? Not even a second. She
137 fell down on her knees and now her deep crimson eyes full of tears
138 are looking anxiously up into mine. I have to be strong - for her.
139 "I'll keep my promise... I do still love you." Cool and collected.
140 I'm sorry... "But that doesn't matter. You mustn't love me!"
141 "Wha- What are you saying?"
142 "You will become the Queen of Crystal Tokyo one day. You have
143 obligations too keep. For one thing you have to have heirs."
144 "I don't care if... if our love is fruitless."
145 "No! You are already spoken for. Your marriage date with Prince
146 Helios is all but set!"
147 "That's not true! I don't love him!"
148 Can't she understand? I sit down in front of her, her eyes still
149 fixed on mine. "You are the future queen! You cannot love another
150 woman." This was the final blow. Needless to say I stressed each
151 word to make sure she'd understand. Now it's over. I always thought
152 I'd be relieved when I finally close this book. Anyway, now I can
153 go on with my life and find myself a girl with pink pigtails to
154 remind me of her. Maybe I'll even manage to love her through the
155 course of time.
156 Her face convulsed in a childlike manner when she heard these
157 words and she slumped down into my lap. I feel the fabric of my
158 dress soaking up her tears. I feel her heavy ragged breathing
159 against it. I can _feel_ her... For the first time in almost a
160 thousand years I can feel her again. I haven't realized how much I
161 missed the feeling of her hair between my fingers. I take a deep
162 breath to inhale her calming scent. Just like I remember it.
163 She's unlike any other person I ever met. I fail every time I try
164 to describe her. Angel. That is the only word that comes close. Yet
165 it doesn't touch her essence. It only manages to scratch the
166 surface. She's so much more.
167 I can hear her words, but they come to me from a distance.
168 "But I do love you. And I couldn't live without your love..."
169 "Why? Why don't you just let go?"
170 I can feel her arms tighten around my waist as she speaks into my
171 dress.
172 "I love you Hotaru-chan... I love you, I want to marry you, I want
173 to spend the rest of eternity with you."
174 At this point she raises her head and looks into my eyes. And when
175 is see her eyes now - for the first time so clearly - I know she
176 didn't lie. If I would send her away she would wither away like a
177 flower without water. She needs love as much as other people need
178 air.
179 Now I understand.
180
181
182 Epilogue
183 Series of Dreams
184
185 "ChibiUsa, how is this possible?"
186 ChibiUsa. Nobody except her calls me that any more. I guess I'm
187 not that chibi any more.
188 "Sit down over here, ChibiUsa." She steers me into that oversized
189 armchair we sometimes spend the evening cuddling in. She sits down
190 opposite to me on a chair and pierces her eyes into mine.
191 "Listen carefully, ChibiUsa. You are a woman. I am a woman. You
192 can't possibly be pregnant from me." She treats me as if I had some
193 kind of a disease or something. But she never doubts my loyalty to
194 her.
195 "I think it was the Ginzuishu."
196 "...I don't understand." Of course she doesn't, I can see it in
197 her eyes. She's so cute when she doesn't understand.
198 "A few weeks ago it was glowing slightly when I woke up in the
199 morning. It was so subtle that I didn't know if it was for real or
200 were my eyes just playing tricks on me. I'm sure it happened that
201 night." A few moment pass before a tear trickles down her face. A
202 tear of joy surely because she's smiling. She reaches out her left
203 hand and touches my cheek. Oh, I didn't know I was crying also. You
204 always do that to me. Around you I always forget about myself. She
205 sits down beside me in our armchair and kisses my bare shoulder.
206 "Hotaru-chan, I'm already pregnant. You don't have to make
207 passionate love to me."
208 "I love you, ChibiUsa."
209 "I love you too, Hotaru."
210
211
212
213 The End
214
215
216 The titles for each part are titles of Bob Dylan songs. I don't own
217 the copyright to them as well as I don't own the copyright for
218 Sailor Moon.
219
220 Peter Dobaj
221 The Ghost of 'lectricity
222 lectricity@email.si