Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison stories/dearsakura-15.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights
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author | rlm |
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date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500 |
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1 Dear Sakura | |
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P. | |
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com | |
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com | |
5 | |
6 Dear Tomoyo-chan, | |
7 | |
8 Thank you so much for the beautiful dragonfly pin! I really love it. | |
9 It's just like you to pick out such a thoughtful and charming gift. A | |
10 job as a designer suits you well, because you have a wonderful | |
11 aesthetic. It shows through in so many wys: how you dress, the ways | |
12 you wear your hair, and even in your most delightful manner of | |
13 conversation. This House has not been so blessed with lovliness since | |
14 Sakura first came home as Sayoran's bride. With the two of you here | |
15 together under this one roof, it was quite a spectacle of beauty! I | |
16 know all here were very thankful to have had the pleasure of your | |
17 company during an all too brief stay. | |
18 | |
19 Please pardon my halting attempts at Japanese. I have been hard at | |
20 work on the language ever since Sakura came to live here.. Of course, | |
21 I learned the language in college, and sometimes have had recourse to | |
22 it at work. But unless one speaks a laguage regularly with a native, | |
23 it is difficult to master all of the nuances, yes? Sakura has been | |
24 very kindly helping me, and I think she also enjoys conversing in | |
25 Japanese now and then. I know it has helped me quite a lot! | |
26 | |
27 Also, thank you for coming for Sakura's sake. I think she sometimes | |
28 gets a little lonely here, so far away from friends and family and | |
29 her first home in Tomoeda. After I first saw you, I could understand | |
30 why she feels that way! She talks about you all the time lately. She | |
31 is quite terribly sad about your departure, but will, I am certain, | |
32 treasure the memories of you forever. Tomoyo-chan, she is really very | |
33 fond of you. I think perhaps even more than she knows? She is in some | |
34 ways a simple girl, and sometimes does not see subtle things. But she | |
35 has a marvelously big heart, and it is so full of love. Sometimes I | |
36 wonder about certain aspects of the wisdom she has had in marrying my | |
37 brother. I love little oniichan very much, but there are times when | |
38 one wonders about certain things, yes? Being a boy, he was always | |
39 very mysterious to me. I know that he cares for her, but about her | |
40 love, well, I am not sure if he quite knows what to do with it all? | |
41 | |
42 There is an old saying in China, that a full heart is an empty | |
43 heart. What that paradoxical thing means is that the more you love, | |
44 the more you yourself need love. That is, the love of a girl like | |
45 Sakura is so vast and great, but in turn she also must be loved | |
46 greatly. Her heart is big and full of love, but it also needs to be | |
47 filled with an equal measure of the precious love of another. I have | |
48 sometimes wondered if my brother is capable of such love for his most | |
49 gorgeous bride from Japan. Is that a terrible thing for a sister to | |
50 say? I am sorry. I am not so subtle as my Mother, a thing she has | |
51 reprimanded me forever since I was a very little girl. I tease her | |
52 that she never seemed to reprimand me very hard, though, and this is | |
53 why I am so outspoken and such an embarrassment to the family. She | |
54 says she should have hit me more often, but I know she is kidding. | |
55 Anyway, Tomoyo-chan, I think you know what I am talking about here, | |
56 because I sense that you, too, have a vast heart that is loving, but | |
57 also needs love. | |
58 | |
59 Oh, please do not think that because I am outspoken I cannot keep a | |
60 secret within my heart. I must say in honesty that I thought about | |
61 telling someone your true feelings. They say that eyes cannot lie, or | |
62 even hide the truth. Anyone who has seen your beautiful eyes, which | |
63 are like a stormy sea, azure and deep, knows who heaven has favored | |
64 with your love and affection. But even though this fortunate one has | |
65 somehow not seen herself, I will not tell her, though in some ways my | |
66 heart breaks for both of you. It is like some sad story from long | |
67 ago. It is like watching a play, where tragedy is happening, but you | |
68 are in the audience and can do nothing. Well, please know that I will | |
69 not speak of all this with her. But perhaps, you might consider who | |
70 should speak to her about your true feelings? Aiyaaa, there I go | |
71 again, being outrageously outspoken. If Mother were here, she would | |
72 no doubt rap me most smartly on the head with her fan. And I would no | |
73 doubt deserve it! | |
74 Well, I most certainly enjoyed your visit. It was a delight and a | |
75 pleasure and a blessing to be with you as much as I was, though it | |
76 was not as much as I would have liked. Please do consider returning | |
77 to our home again someday, provided of course you can bear our | |
78 shamefully humble hospitality. I would love to take you out to see | |
79 more of the city. | |
80 | |
81 Sakura-chan told me you are a most wonderful dancer. I know some | |
82 very fun and exciting clubs where one can dance, and forget. Oh, and | |
83 perhaps Sakura-chan could come also, yes? Gomenesai, I am very | |
84 wicked, for I thought that perhaps she would be too busy to go. But | |
85 truly, it would be a joy to see you again, Tomoyo-chan. I pray that | |
86 someday I will. | |
87 Thank you again for the beautiful pin. It is my treasure. | |
88 | |
89 Your translator friend in Hong Kong, | |
90 | |
91 Li Fanren | |
92 | |
93 | |
94 | |
95 Dear Fanren-san, | |
96 It was a pleasant surprise to find a letter from you shortly after | |
97 Sakura-chan wrote me. And please don’t worry about your Japanese. I | |
98 wish I had learned some Chinese when I was younger myself. It sure | |
99 would have helped now that Sakura-chan is living in Hong Kong. I was | |
100 thoroughly delighted to visit. You have such a wonderful home and I | |
101 was very happy to see Sakura-chan once more. You and your sisters are | |
102 all extremely beautiful, which you must all get from your mother. | |
103 Such a lovely household was very pleasant place to stay during my | |
104 visit. I cannot thank you enough for your help, especially during the | |
105 banquet. I have gone to several important banquets here in Japan with | |
106 my mother, but none as grand as the one at your home. I would have | |
107 been completely lost without your help. And not just your help at the | |
108 banquet. Talking to you helped me quite a bit as well. Being around | |
109 Sakura-chan was a joy, but it toyed with my heart at times. I’ve been | |
110 in love with her for so long now. Seeing her like that, married to | |
111 your brother, it was very bittersweet. I’m very happy that she | |
112 married him. He can keep her safe and love her and give her a child. | |
113 But at the same time, I miss her very dearly. My heart will always | |
114 belong to her, even if she doesn’t know that. Being near her, loving | |
115 her, is the most joyful pain that I know of. I know I can never have | |
116 her, that her heart belongs to another, but these days it isn’t as | |
117 much comfort as it was when I was a little girl. I think I had | |
118 mistaken myself into thinking it would become easier as I grew older. | |
119 I agree that Sakura-chan must have been lonely before my visit. I | |
120 could tell in her letters that she was getting homesick at times. She | |
121 was always very close to her family and friends, so it must have been | |
122 very painful for her to move away from all of them. I hope that I | |
123 managed to help that with my visit. I really want her to feel better. | |
124 She has her new family now and it sounds like she’s already making | |
125 new friends. She’s a bright spot that other’s can’t help but gather | |
126 around. It was the same when she was back here in Tomoeda. I think | |
127 Sakura doesn’t quite understand all of her feelings even now. That’s | |
128 part of what made it so difficult to leave. I almost ran back to her | |
129 waiting arms instead of boarding my plane. But I knew if I couldn’t | |
130 leave then, I could never truly leave her life. And I think in the | |
131 end, that is the best for both of us. If I quietly fade from her | |
132 life, then I will leave the beautiful memories intact, and her | |
133 happiness will be assured. She is married to the man she loves and | |
134 has a wonderful life. All I can do is ruin that. If she found out my | |
135 feelings, she would undoubtedly try to fix things. Sakura-chan always | |
136 wants to make things better, especially for those she cares about. | |
137 She could never simply reject me, and that would cause problems with | |
138 her husband. There is no solution to this problem. She couldn’t fix | |
139 things. So I can’t let her know. I had my chance to tell her years | |
140 ago. But I never did. And so I don’t think she ever will know. And | |
141 that’s probably for the best. If I stay, I don’t think I could | |
142 survive. My heart would shatter in its attempts to be near her, | |
143 watching her happy life from inside the play. It’s much safer for me | |
144 to be in the audience. It always has been. But I can’t do that | |
145 anymore. If I stay, I’ll be too close to things. And my heart can’t | |
146 bear that anymore. | |
147 ‘A full heart is an empty heart’. That is a very wise saying. I | |
148 have seen it time and time again. I think that is why I can’t stay. | |
149 That’s what makes my heart so brittle the longer I stay in Sakura- | |
150 chan’s life. The more you love someone, the more you give of your | |
151 heart, the more painful it becomes as your love is left unreturned. | |
152 But you can’t force someone to love you. Who you love, who takes the | |
153 most important spot in your heart, it seems to be Fate who decides | |
154 such things. Our hearts reach out to those that we love, giving them | |
155 all that we are. Whether Sakura loves me or not was never something | |
156 that mattered in my love for her. I simply do. And if she doesn’t see | |
157 my love, then that’s just fine. I only want her to be happy. If the | |
158 one you love is happy, then shouldn’t that be the best realization of | |
159 your love? Isn’t that what you truly want for them above all else? | |
160 Sakura-chan has a very warm, loving heart. I hope that in time, Li- | |
161 kun can fill her heart to the brim so that hers will never be empty. | |
162 It’s an interesting paradox. The more I love Sakura-chan, the more I | |
163 need love myself from the saying’s wisdom. But I cannot have her | |
164 love. Nor could I ever quit loving her. For a short time, I actually | |
165 considered what you said after the banquet. You are a beautiful | |
166 woman, Fanren-san, and very kind and loving. Anyone who manages to | |
167 capture your heart in coming years will be very lucky indeed. The | |
168 thought of having someone as wonderful as yourself to hold close and | |
169 to weather life’s many storms with was incredibly tempting. And | |
170 something I had never dealt with before. My own love life has never | |
171 been one of my biggest concerns, so I haven’t devoted much thought to | |
172 it. Sakura-chan’s love life was always much more important to me. | |
173 Thank you very much for your kind words. They lifted my spirits when | |
174 I was starting to stumble. I finally decided that it wouldn’t be fair | |
175 to you. My heart is bound to Sakura-chan’s with beautiful red ribbons | |
176 that I could not hope to unwind. You deserve someone who can love you | |
177 with all of their heart. Thank you again. You have helped me so much. | |
178 I am very grateful to have had the chance to know you. On my first | |
179 visit to Hong Kong, I was still just a child so we didn’t have much | |
180 of a chance to speak. I’m very glad we got to this time. So yes, my | |
181 heart is empty as its love is all poured forth to Sakura-chan. But it | |
182 seems I can’t have it any other way. | |
183 Thank you for the kind offer. If you ever find yourself in Tomoeda, | |
184 I would be most pleased to take you up on it. I don’t know of as many | |
185 clubs around here, but I do know of a wonderful place to dance that | |
186 my mother goes to occasionally. Thank you again for everything, | |
187 Fanren-san. It’s very nice to have someone to talk to about these | |
188 things. And please don’t worry about wanting to tell Sakura-chan how | |
189 I feel. I’ve been telling her for years and there have been many | |
190 times that I’ve wanted to explain to her what I meant. I hope | |
191 everything works out wonderfully for you. | |
192 | |
193 Forever in your debt, | |
194 Daidouji Tomoyo | |
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