Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison stories/dearsakura-14.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights
[svn r1] initial import
author | rlm |
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date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500 |
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1 Dear Sakura | |
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P. | |
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com | |
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com | |
5 | |
6 | |
7 Dear Tomoyo-chan, | |
8 | |
9 Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you | |
10 again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to | |
11 places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being | |
12 with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content, | |
13 as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost | |
14 as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete | |
15 without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re | |
16 so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I | |
17 guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a | |
18 help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things | |
19 better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and | |
20 for all the years you have been my very best friend. | |
21 | |
22 The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from | |
23 Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I | |
24 just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There | |
25 really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy. | |
26 But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So, | |
27 the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be | |
28 patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you | |
29 have gone. | |
30 | |
31 Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It | |
32 seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up | |
33 talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when | |
34 we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our | |
35 adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on, | |
36 and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about | |
37 all we went through together, it really is quite amazing. I tried to | |
38 find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me, | |
39 or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if | |
40 you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be | |
41 happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them | |
42 myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who | |
43 could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her | |
44 about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit. | |
45 I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping | |
46 it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to | |
47 be Tomoyo-chan's true love! | |
48 | |
49 I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very | |
50 quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It | |
51 really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of | |
52 you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering | |
53 her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was | |
54 cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too. | |
55 At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had | |
56 never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She | |
57 looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes | |
58 we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very | |
59 angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the | |
60 kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also | |
61 baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled | |
62 at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo- | |
63 chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is | |
64 unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she | |
65 dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But | |
66 Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would | |
67 you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not | |
68 as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan. | |
69 You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't | |
70 been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like | |
71 this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't | |
72 think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that | |
73 a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it | |
74 out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai. | |
75 | |
76 I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is | |
77 so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are | |
78 lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to | |
79 look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to | |
80 figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so | |
81 complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season | |
82 starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this | |
83 fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure | |
84 out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy. | |
85 Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays | |
86 from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright | |
87 little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant. | |
88 | |
89 I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you. | |
90 But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really | |
91 upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you | |
92 left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that | |
93 when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and | |
94 moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble | |
95 expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we | |
96 sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that, | |
97 especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but | |
98 it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help | |
99 it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a | |
100 stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out. | |
101 | |
102 I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying. | |
103 Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to | |
104 calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the | |
105 beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were | |
106 still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there, | |
107 comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart | |
108 still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You | |
109 are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan | |
110 left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right | |
111 away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not | |
112 finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I | |
113 realized it was a costume for me. | |
114 | |
115 Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it, | |
116 because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so | |
117 carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered | |
118 all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger, | |
119 and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really | |
120 didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my | |
121 precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful | |
122 present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I | |
123 have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so | |
124 close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I | |
125 understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the | |
126 Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being | |
127 with you. | |
128 | |
129 I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt | |
130 better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if | |
131 you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long. | |
132 Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I | |
133 feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last | |
134 night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess | |
135 this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me, | |
136 even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan. | |
137 | |
138 | |
139 | |
140 With all my love, | |
141 | |
142 | |
143 | |
144 Kinomoto Sakura | |
145 | |
146 | |
147 Dear Sakura-chan, | |
148 I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail. | |
149 Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you | |
150 even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always | |
151 such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I | |
152 can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you | |
153 were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to | |
154 look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed | |
155 carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s | |
156 bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger | |
157 box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I | |
158 reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They | |
159 have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to | |
160 entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl. | |
161 Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep | |
162 myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would | |
163 never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was | |
164 the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world | |
165 that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life, | |
166 granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so | |
167 very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful | |
168 to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life | |
169 again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I | |
170 wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that | |
171 really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga, | |
172 Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of | |
173 everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always | |
174 thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy | |
175 that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful | |
176 life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing | |
177 than the pieces I have in my VCR. | |
178 Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by | |
179 far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places | |
180 to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan. | |
181 It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you | |
182 for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me | |
183 with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be | |
184 able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a | |
185 short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were | |
186 pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely | |
187 experience. I will carry it with me always. | |
188 Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling | |
189 face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be, | |
190 so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit | |
191 and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of | |
192 the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some | |
193 videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was | |
194 there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take | |
195 quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran- | |
196 sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy | |
197 about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother | |
198 didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a | |
199 bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the | |
200 pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been | |
201 switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my | |
202 heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just | |
203 Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but | |
204 you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I | |
205 could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever | |
206 says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been | |
207 through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always | |
208 agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I | |
209 shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other | |
210 again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well | |
211 as my own. | |
212 Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s | |
213 very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me | |
214 will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong | |
215 to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left | |
216 it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other | |
217 purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a | |
218 while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you | |
219 found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what | |
220 to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s | |
221 so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I | |
222 always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when | |
223 you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to | |
224 see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or | |
225 another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery | |
226 determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your | |
227 beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set | |
228 your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura- | |
229 chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked | |
230 on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout | |
231 it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your | |
232 life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest | |
233 wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing | |
234 more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart | |
235 into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even | |
236 this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad. | |
237 But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish | |
238 it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for | |
239 you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you | |
240 with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as | |
241 a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor. | |
242 You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what | |
243 brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them. | |
244 You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an | |
245 accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t | |
246 finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan. | |
247 I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to | |
248 help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more | |
249 complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could | |
250 in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just | |
251 remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of | |
252 your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination | |
253 I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste | |
254 exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because | |
255 Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but | |
256 she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it. | |
257 I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out | |
258 that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had | |
259 some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased | |
260 me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick | |
261 with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much | |
262 more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of | |
263 and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind | |
264 the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing, | |
265 the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able | |
266 to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing | |
267 to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you | |
268 and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded | |
269 me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the | |
270 one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were | |
271 so adorable in it! | |
272 I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very | |
273 straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t | |
274 tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and | |
275 my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind | |
276 woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going | |
277 to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break. | |
278 Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her | |
279 cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot | |
280 to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even | |
281 if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister | |
282 I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t | |
283 exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk | |
284 while I was there. | |
285 Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very | |
286 happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few | |
287 difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them | |
288 anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is | |
289 almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in | |
290 love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy | |
291 for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I | |
292 stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think | |
293 I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will | |
294 ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So | |
295 I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them | |
296 with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any | |
297 longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do | |
298 now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one | |
299 day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as | |
300 they continue forward in their life. | |
301 I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times, | |
302 but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family | |
303 and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended | |
304 for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li | |
305 Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And | |
306 aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for | |
307 a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she | |
308 doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever | |
309 hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by, | |
310 I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun | |
311 was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very | |
312 differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar | |
313 position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you | |
314 will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship | |
315 with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one | |
316 of them. By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen | |
317 of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She | |
318 must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I | |
319 took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a | |
320 bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong, | |
321 outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also | |
322 worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with | |
323 your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you. | |
324 The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll | |
325 be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very | |
326 excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura- | |
327 chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart. | |
328 I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little | |
329 cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The | |
330 little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of | |
331 all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my | |
332 videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with | |
333 Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer | |
334 is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was | |
335 based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her | |
336 friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura- | |
337 chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that | |
338 you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it, | |
339 especially as time goes by. | |
340 Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with | |
341 Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m | |
342 afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very | |
343 jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to | |
344 Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of | |
345 you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun | |
346 everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite | |
347 some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he | |
348 must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I | |
349 was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never | |
350 wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an | |
351 apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as | |
352 possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful | |
353 marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there. | |
354 You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my | |
355 thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you, | |
356 holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there | |
357 instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and | |
358 care. | |
359 I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you | |
360 have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm | |
361 inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best | |
362 thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my | |
363 life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could | |
364 never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you | |
365 have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my | |
366 life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream | |
367 about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart, | |
368 even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you. | |
369 Because my heart will always call out to you. | |
370 | |
371 You friend forever, | |
372 Daidouji Tomoyo | |
373 | |
374 | |
375 | |
376 |