Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison stories/conjure.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights
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author | rlm |
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date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500 |
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1 --------------------------------------------- | |
2 Conjure Me 1/1 | |
3 by Meredith Bronwen Mallory | |
4 mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com | |
5 --------------------------------------------- | |
6 | |
7 | |
8 DECEMBER 5th 2009 | |
9 | |
10 | |
11 They walked hand in hand; though hers was cold as ice to him and she found | |
12 his to be uncomfortably sweaty. Heat rising from a swamp, ready to smother. | |
13 Her hands were strong, well formed and colored like light brushing against | |
14 a peach. Capable. Somehow, Sakura felt all that go away, when he wrapped | |
15 his calloused fingers around her hand; she thought perhaps he was drawing | |
16 the magic out of her, a little bit at a time. That was silly, of course; | |
17 they were just holding hands. Boyfriend and girlfriend, walking out under | |
18 the cold winter stars as their breaths released in little clouds. Snow | |
19 whirled about, caught in her auburn hair and pressed against her red coat | |
20 with the golden buttons. She laughed and, taking the opportunity to | |
21 disengage her hand, ran ahead, twirling when she reached a fork in the | |
22 path. Head tilted back, she opened her mouth like a child waiting for a | |
23 spoonful of powered sugar. The moon was a pale sliver, the delicate | |
24 crescent of a fingertip. | |
25 | |
26 | |
27 | |
28 Tomoyo blazed before her eyes, an inadvertent thought, but somehow more | |
29 real. The moon was a bright distant point of light in her best friendıs fey | |
30 eyes. She thought about last night, Tomoyoıs soft, cool hand in Sakuraıs | |
31 own, smiling as they turned and turned, making the world move on their own | |
32 axis. Then, rather than falling apart, they had pulled together and sunken | |
33 to their knees in the soft snow. Hands coming together, Tomoyoıs face | |
34 pillowed on Sakuraıs shoulder. And then, for some reason, Sakura buried her | |
35 face in her best friendıs hair, lost in an endless river of ebony and | |
36 violet. | |
37 | |
38 | |
39 | |
40 ³Hoe,² a soft, incredulous breath, coming in time with the color rising to | |
41 her cheeks. She realized belatedly that she had been standing still for | |
42 quite some time, and now Syaoran stood ahead of her waiting. Flashing him | |
43 an apologetic smile, she hurried to catch up. A cloud draped itself over | |
44 the moon, making the shapes in the park less familiar. When Sakura was | |
45 close enough, Syaoran took her hand again. | |
46 ³Letıs do something different tonight,² Syaoran suggested, turning to | |
47 Sakura with eyes that looked empty in the moonlight. | |
48 ³Nani? What do you mean?² absently, she looked at her watch. The hand and | |
49 shadow fell to nine oıclock. | |
50 ³I donıt know,² he said in a tone that meant he did, ³Do you want to come | |
51 to my apartment? You could call your dad, tell him youıll be a little | |
52 late.² There was something, something in her chest, dark and slithering. | |
53 She didnıt know what it was. | |
54 ³Alright,² her voice was quiet. They continued in a different direction, | |
55 still holding hands. | |
56 She was sixteen years old. | |
57 | |
58 | |
59 ~ | |
60 | |
61 | |
62 Tomoyo walked carefully in the snow, feeling transported. Trees rose | |
63 against the star-filled sky, looking like twisted, polished question marks. | |
64 Not even the lights of the city could change the strange, alien feeling | |
65 that dipped like a scythe against her ribs. The people sharing the sidewalk | |
66 seemed somehow more removed, colorless almost, though she told herself | |
67 that was only her loneliness seeping through. It bled like that, spreading | |
68 outward like a flower, anti-survival, pulling thorns inward. Shivering, | |
69 Tomoyo pulled her coat and moon-spangled scarf closer. Her dress, long and | |
70 red velvet, brushed against the backs of her legs, in time with the soft | |
71 click of her shoes. That was the rhythm, sudden and very overwheliming: | |
72 click - clack, click- clack, click - clack. Up beat, down beat. She paused, | |
73 oblivious to the pedestrians that pushed around her. Slim, china-white | |
74 fingers pressed against her temples, massaging there for a moment before | |
75 she continued onward. She thought about Sakura; Sakuraıs hair sliding | |
76 through the brush, Sakuraıs slim shoulders encased in green that matched | |
77 her eyes. Sakura, smiling, saying she had a date with Syaoran tonight, but | |
78 tomorrow she would take Tomoyo down town and theyıd have fun shopping. | |
79 | |
80 | |
81 Yesterday with Sakura, walking through a corridor of ebony trees, snow | |
82 dripping off their branches like strings of glass beads. They had not | |
83 seemed like question marks then, but rather totems raised for Sakura, | |
84 supporting a palace that had never been built. The wind had moved around | |
85 the two of them like a river current, rising against Tomoyoıs cheek bones-- | |
86 a longed-for touch-- pushing the clouds across the moon and then away | |
87 again. Sakura had turned towards Tomoyo, smiling, her emerald eyes like the | |
88 depths of the ocean in the darkness. Glory had pushed up through Tomoyo | |
89 then, sung in her veins, and as always there was no where for it to go. It | |
90 cycled through her, refined each time it passed through her heart, the same | |
91 as the blood in her veins. Her throat tightened miserably, all the words | |
92 that tangled there seemed stupid and inexpressive. Sheıd searched Sakuraıs | |
93 face for understanding, some hint of... there were no words for what she | |
94 was looking for. Her hands had gripped Sakuraıs and then, by some unspoken | |
95 agreement, they began to turn, round and round, never getting anywhere, but | |
96 pulling in towards each other. When they fell to the ground, Tomoyo had | |
97 laid her head on her friendıs shoulder, gripping the other girlıs coat with | |
98 hands that felt like they would break. | |
99 Sheıd said, ³Sakura...² | |
100 | |
101 | |
102 ³Silly, jealous girl,² she murmured to herself. She forced herself to see | |
103 Sakura, happy and smiling on her wedding day, veil thrown over her face | |
104 like whatever it was that kept her from seeing the truth. Syaoran would | |
105 stand just-so beside her, not smiling because he never smiled, but still | |
106 looking like he was happy, looking like he would take care of Sakura. And | |
107 herself, somewhere in the background; the one who organized everything, the | |
108 one who wiped tears off Sakura's face when she said she was scared and | |
109 didn't know if she could go through with the wedding. Always, Tomoyo held | |
110 this vision out to herself, but whether it was a promise or a threat even | |
111 she didn't know. Presently, the wind pushed the snow against her in a gush, | |
112 like the tiny frozen wings of butterflies. Tomoyo breathed deeply, and the | |
113 pinch of the scythe became just a little bit stronger. | |
114 | |
115 | |
116 ~ | |
117 | |
118 Her coat was tossed haphazardly in the easy chair, her shoes --black | |
119 patenleather with dainty straps-- sat patiently like twin dogs beside | |
120 Syaoran's thick sneakers. Sakura saw none of these things, but later she | |
121 would remember the placement of everything in the room as one remembers the | |
122 stillness of the world before a tornado. She waited for the windows to blow | |
123 inward, glass shards like knives ready to cut to the quick. Instead, the | |
124 color simply drained from the room; no more blue sofa, brown coffee-table, | |
125 green carpet, black-yellow-brown-blue-red pictures of relatives from China. | |
126 Only Syaoran's hands retained their color, looking somehow like menacing | |
127 claws as they hang suspended before her chest. | |
128 "Ano..." he said, and his hands shook with the words. She realized she | |
129 hadn't been looking at his face. How strange this felt, like someone else's | |
130 life. He wanted her to say something, but there didn't seem to be anything | |
131 inside her anymore-- not even a voice. Wasn't she supposed to feel like she | |
132 was flying, like she was going to come apart if he didn't touch her and | |
133 kiss her? Wasn't that in all the movies and the books and the pictures of | |
134 pretty shoujo heroines in the final panels of manga? This was it, the rose | |
135 petals would fall across the screen, the hero and heroine would tumble | |
136 gracefully onto the bed, like dancers. Perhaps, she thought, it takes a | |
137 little while to build up. So she lifted her lips like she did when she | |
138 smiled and nodded her head. He moved his fingers to the neckline of her | |
139 dress-- the pink one with the red ribbons that Tomoyo had made-- and | |
140 carefully slipped a button loose while he made a little breathy noise that | |
141 sounded like "Sakura" or the brush of dried leaves on cold stone. | |
142 | |
143 | |
144 Tomoyo had laid her head on Sakura's shoulder, lips pressed into Sakura's | |
145 scarf as she breathed words there. There was something rhythmic to it, an | |
146 ancient chant, and Tomoyo's body had moved with it, arms snaking around | |
147 Sakura's waist. | |
148 "Daijobu?" Sakura could not remember asking the question, but a small | |
149 flower of warm air bloomed in the cold, and Tomoyo's body stiffened, so she | |
150 must have said something like that. | |
151 "I want to tell you something," Tomoyo had said, "I want to..." Her breath | |
152 had shuddered, even as Sakura stroked her hair, "but I can't." | |
153 "Naze?" a little broken word. Tomoyo slipped gracefully from Sakura's | |
154 arms, her violet-ebony hair falling about her like folded wings. She smiled | |
155 and it looked painful, and her body was like something that could not be | |
156 held. Fragility. There was steel underneath, though; it was the color of | |
157 Tomoyo's eyes. She offered her hand, white as the moon on snow, and helped | |
158 Sakura stand. | |
159 One of them said, "let's go get something to eat"; as if nothing had | |
160 happened. | |
161 | |
162 | |
163 Now they were moving towards the bedroom, Syaoran lifting Sakura into his | |
164 arms. Her legs were polished and long-- too long, apparently-- and she had | |
165 a hard time shifting her weight against Syaoran's chest. He was down to his | |
166 boxers, she clad only in the creamy silk shift with its lace of growing, | |
167 virginal flowers. | |
168 | |
169 ~ | |
170 | |
171 Tomoyo tested out a smile, looking at the reflection of her face in the | |
172 display window. Behind her ethereal image, there cookies, pies and delicate | |
173 pastries, festive and brightly lit. The smile faltered, then died | |
174 altogether as Tomoyo attempted to brush away the warm image that rose like | |
175 a seductress from a bed of silk. Her mind held out the possibility, | |
176 impossibility, of a table spanned with candles and good food, set before | |
177 herself and Sakura as they reclined in one another's arms. Her mask | |
178 crumbled momentarily, her mouth pouted and her eyes closed to hold back | |
179 tears, but it was gone so quickly that Tomoyo was able to tell herself it | |
180 hadn't happened. Her heart fluttered weakly within its cage, its protests | |
181 lost as she pushed the thoughts from her mind. Things that happened without | |
182 Sakura were in parentheses, and there for didn't count. Instead, Tomoyo | |
183 turned on her heel and headed into the shop, entering with the cold breeze | |
184 as her fanfare. She didn't even noticed as her blood ebbed more slowly in | |
185 her veins. | |
186 | |
187 ~ | |
188 | |
189 | |
190 It took only three of Syaoran's heavy steps down the hallway and they were | |
191 there, poised in the threshold of his room. She tried to smile up at him, | |
192 but he wasn't even looking at her, and when he tried to move he ended up | |
193 ramming her hip into the doorframe. Now he was looking at her, lukewarm | |
194 brown eyes narrowing in concern. Sakura bit her lip so hard she tasted her | |
195 own bitter wine, but muttered a 'don't worry' to his apology. He put her | |
196 down on the bed, moving her legs so that they were uncrossed, situating her | |
197 like a china doll. His hands, big, calloused and sweaty, reached for the | |
198 hem of her slip, lifting it ever so slightly before she cried out. | |
199 | |
200 ~ | |
201 | |
202 "Can I get you something, miss?" | |
203 "Just a cup of tea, with honey, and..." Tomoyo raised her hand | |
204 instinctively to cover her mouth, then coughed delicately into the white | |
205 fabric on her palm. She put her hand down quickly, "and a few of those | |
206 chocolate chip cookies." The tea was in a little china cup lined with gold, | |
207 the cookies laid on a paper doily; three of them. Syaoran and Sakura and | |
208 Tomoyo. She carried them carefully to a little round table, crossing her | |
209 legs as she sat, trying to quell another cough. Raising the cup to her | |
210 lips, she thought of a dress design like poetry, seams fitting together in | |
211 careful black, green and gold, silently complimenting the depths of | |
212 Sakura's shadowed, jungle eyes. Another idea swept away the last, this time | |
213 a great embroidered gold dragon curling about Sakura's neck line. The | |
214 images were vivid, making her fingers itch, so that Tomoyo did not see the | |
215 blood she coughed up into her glove. | |
216 | |
217 ~ | |
218 | |
219 | |
220 Syaoran's eyes were narrowed until it looked like he couldn't see anything | |
221 at all, but Sakura kept her face determined and her hands hard as she | |
222 loosened his grip on the slip. | |
223 "Something wrong?" His words were blunt, cutting. | |
224 "Iie..," Sakura shook her fire-brown locks, "but we can do..." there were | |
225 words for it, of course, but she somehow couldn't bring herself to use any | |
226 of them, "without taking this off." | |
227 "Alright," he said, and she smiled because she somehow wanted to protect | |
228 herself from him. In the next moment, she turned her lips down, remembering | |
229 the long monologues of praise in the romance novels-- how the heroine | |
230 wanted her man to have everything of her, that she wanted to share with | |
231 him, her whole self. She couldn't hold onto it, any of it, so detached was | |
232 she. Syaoran took off his boxers, dropping them beside the bed; she slipped | |
233 off her underwear then tossed them, trying to be decadent, to celebrate her | |
234 loss, and the white scrap of cloth flew through the air like a kamikaze | |
235 bird. | |
236 | |
237 | |
238 | |
239 'Someone', Tomoyo thought suddenly, wildly, 'is ripping me open and sewing | |
240 me back up'. An ill tide rose in her being, so swift and powerful that all | |
241 at once she couldn't remember what it was like to not have pain. There was | |
242 pain, everywhere, the bright, functional needles of a sewing machine. | |
243 | |
244 | |
245 His breathing was the sound of metal on metal, sword on sword. Sakura | |
246 moved backwards, feeling the pillows pressing into her back, hands offering | |
247 her up for sacrifice. Syaoran's nails were rough on her skin, cutting | |
248 without leaving a mark. Now the pillows would give way no more and her head | |
249 was pressed against the merciless wall. She had a sudden, insane image of | |
250 her mother like this: cornered and crying inside. | |
251 "This isn't it," Sakura imaged her saying, her long hair moving to cover | |
252 her body in vain, "this isn't, isn't it." | |
253 | |
254 | |
255 | |
256 She was being pressed in the gears, drawn out like a piece of thread and | |
257 pinned down again and again. Tomoyo's pretty, gloved hands rose, like the | |
258 fluttering of doves wings, to touch her burning cheeks. She felt the damp | |
259 palm of her right fingers, looked down to see them colored in red. As if | |
260 Sakura had kissed them with lipstick, her traitorous mind supplied. A sound | |
261 devoid of happiness burst from Tomoyo's lungs; she laughed because she knew | |
262 she was dying, knew that Sakura would never touch her and now and forever | |
263 there was really no chance. Strange, how she'd never really admitted it. | |
264 | |
265 | |
266 Sakura said the words, over and over; "this isn't it, this isn't it". They | |
267 were heavy on her tongue and quick to fly, she was crying without shedding | |
268 any tears. | |
269 Syaoran said, "I'm not going to hurt you." As if he hadn't already. | |
270 | |
271 | |
272 Tomoyo's laugh rose, filled the small cafe until she felt the gazes of | |
273 strangers slithering over her body. Biting down on her lip and swallowing | |
274 her voice, she tasted her own blood and a touch of the ocean. Salt water; | |
275 her tears. Fingers, stained and trembling felt against her face as though | |
276 she was a blind woman. The world blurred and blurred with her pain (God, | |
277 she didn't even know what was happening), and at last the beating of her | |
278 lungs forced her to open her mouth. Tomoyo coughed, and blood fell from her | |
279 lips like grotesque rain. | |
280 | |
281 | |
282 | |
283 | |
284 Now the glass did break; windows pushing inward like bubbles released from | |
285 a child's summer hand. The shards flew wildly, vengeful faeries, and Sakura | |
286 reared back, watching Syaoran lift his arms in defense. She slipped past | |
287 him like she was made of nothing. | |
288 "Tomoyo," she whispered, so pained that she could not remember ever having | |
289 happiness. The new red kisses of blood on her skin and the crimson river | |
290 falling between her legs did not concern her, instead she raised her hands | |
291 to hold the emptiness tearing through her body like a tiger; she looked in | |
292 Syaoran's dull brown eyes and saw fear there. | |
293 'You!' she wanted to scream, to pour accusation on him, but Sakura was too | |
294 full of her own sick guilt to blame anyone else. Instead, she turned and | |
295 fled, silken camisole moving against her body like a dozen concerned hands. | |
296 Down the stairs, her bare fee pounding mercilessly until they were too numb | |
297 to feel the cold as she ran into the winter night. It was as if someone had | |
298 taken her hands, was leading her, and indeed she ran with them | |
299 outstretched, ignorant of her final destination. The star-key dropped | |
300 against her chest in time with her heart beat, ringing against her ribcage | |
301 with finality. Then her hand was on a cold metal bar-- she was pushing open | |
302 a glass door and hurrying into a place filled with bright lights and the | |
303 sound of Tomoyo dying. Pushing through the crowd with hands that chilled | |
304 all she moved aside, Sakura saw her best friend laid out of the blue and | |
305 gold and white pattern tile, a sprawled and broken china doll. She was on | |
306 her knees without thinking about it, Tomoyo's pale form closed within her | |
307 arms. The still girl stirred, turning her wide snow-touched star-light eyes | |
308 on the Card mistress, and Sakura almost cried; for Tomoyo's face was | |
309 filled with joy at seeing her. | |
310 "Sa..." Tomoyo's labored breathing swallowed the rest of the sound. Her | |
311 eyes slipped closed momentarily as sheer red flowed to her lips. They were | |
312 in a sea of red, Sakura realized, their blood mingling and staining | |
313 everything around them. | |
314 "Tomoyo-chan," Sakura managed, holding the other girl's delicate fingers. | |
315 "Don't die," she said the dark-haired girl's name over and over again, as | |
316 if the chant could call her back into her body. "I'm so sorry. I was trying | |
317 to be something I'm not...," Sakura breathed in her tears until her throat | |
318 hurt with them, "Forgive me, I'll make it up to you." | |
319 "I told you to," Tomoyo's smile was pale as coral, but it was real; the | |
320 pieces of Sakura's heart dove in their own suicide to realize just how much | |
321 of a facade her friend's happiness had been. In death's gentle embrace, her | |
322 eyes were filled with unconditional love, "I said to Sakura-chan, 'Li-kun | |
323 loves you'. It's my fault." The words buried themselves in Sakura-- it was | |
324 the truth when neither of them knew it. Tomoyo's soft, cool hand was | |
325 against Sakura's cheek, and then tracing softly over her lips. "And I," she | |
326 managed to raise her head, lips so close to her friend that he Card | |
327 mistress more felt the confession than heard it; | |
328 | |
329 "And I love Sakura." | |
330 | |
331 | |
332 ============== | |
333 | |
334 DECEMBER 6th 2009 | |
335 | |
336 | |
337 It was snowing again, falling through the window and collecting in | |
338 Sakura's lap. She knelt in her pajamas on the window seat, watching the | |
339 moon move through the clouds and feeling the cold slowly work is way into | |
340 her veins. The light behind her was dim, coloring her room a brown antique | |
341 photo; and the shadows seemed to move when they thought she wasn't looking. | |
342 "Sakura," Cerberus' two fine saber teeth lodged in her shirt, trying to | |
343 pull her away from the window; she only loosened his grip and absently | |
344 stroked his golden coat, barely registering sensation. A soft knock at the | |
345 door; no response, then a shaft of light annihilating the darkness. | |
346 "Imouto-chan..." this from another voice, and Sakura raised her head just | |
347 barely to meet her brother's gaze. Touya held the phone in his hand, | |
348 towards her and away from him. "It's Sonomi-san. She wants to talk to you." | |
349 Sakura allowed the phone to be placed in her still hands, her green eyes | |
350 like emerald windows that had been pulled tightly closed against the world. | |
351 "Ano..." Touya said, "Syaoran was here, earlier. I told him to come back | |
352 later." | |
353 For a moment, Sakura moved her lips without sound, before her voice | |
354 sounded like the high string on a cello-- sweet, but strangely low. "When | |
355 he comes again," she seemed ageless, eternity shivering by the window, | |
356 "tell him he knows why I will not see him, and shall never see him again. | |
357 Tell him I give him no blame, that it is not his fault. Tell him, also, to | |
358 go home and marry Meiling, that he might keep his honor and make her | |
359 happy." She turned her hand away, gazing at he bright round buttons of the | |
360 telephone, before raising it to her ear. Touya stood for a moment, stunned | |
361 by the chill in his little sister's eyes and voice, before pressing his | |
362 wide hand against her shoulder and retreating. | |
363 | |
364 For a moment, there was only breathing on the line. | |
365 "Konbanwa, Sonomi-san," Sakura said, pressing her free hand to her mouth, | |
366 swallowing sob after sob. | |
367 "Oh, Sakura-chan," the voice of Tomoyo's mother was soothing and | |
368 discomforting at once. "I wanted to ask you, could you... would you please | |
369 speak at Tomoyo's funeral tomorrow?" Tears came like static on the line, | |
370 "She did love you so... I think it would make her happy." | |
371 "Of course, Sonomi-san," Sakura drew in a breath that caught in her | |
372 throat, "I would be honored. Tomoyo is..," her eyes closed to combat the | |
373 truth, "was so... very precious to me." | |
374 "Hai," they were both crying now, words distorted and raw, "There are | |
375 things here I think she would want you to have." | |
376 "I can't take anything from you, Sonomi-san," Sakura said honestly, her | |
377 hands fisting in Cerberus' fur. The seal beast rested his head in her lap, | |
378 making small feline noises of comfort. "Tomoyo was your daughter-- you | |
379 should have her things." | |
380 "But she would have wanted you to have something," Sonomi insisted, "She | |
381 cared about you so much." Sakura felt sure she'd been cut, sliced from | |
382 breast bone o navel with hurt. <What can I say?> she wondered. She wanted | |
383 to tell Sonomi the truth, to say, 'it is my hand that caused your | |
384 daughter's death-- it was I who loved her, and with my unconscious magic | |
385 bound her to me. It was also I who betrayed her with another, and killed | |
386 her.' Sakura strained her eyes in the dim light, focusing on the row of | |
387 dolls near her bed. She gazed at an ebony-haired, silken-bronze clad doll | |
388 with a suddenly watery memory of a smile; the doll has been a gift from | |
389 Tomoyo. | |
390 Drawing a breath, she whispered into the phone; "I will take only what you | |
391 want me to have." | |
392 "Thank you," said the older woman, "Sakura-chan, if you need to talk, I am | |
393 here. When my Nadeshiko died, I should have liked to have had someone to | |
394 confide in... I am here if you need me." | |
395 Sakura bit her lip, "You are in so much pain, and yet yu're trying to ease | |
396 mine. I hope I can return the favor." | |
397 "Just go on to be whatever it is Sakura is destined to be," the tiny, | |
398 disembodied voice entreated, "Tomoyo-chan wanted to see you shine." | |
399 It was a while before Sakura could speak past the blinding agony, "I will. | |
400 I promise. Good night, Sonomi-san." | |
401 "Good night, and thank you," the other voice returned, before the air was | |
402 still and dead. Sakura held the phone in both hands, looking down into | |
403 Cerberus' deep brown eyes. | |
404 | |
405 "I did kill her, didn't I, Kero-chan?" Sakura's voice was soulless. | |
406 "You didn't mean to," the seal beast insisted. | |
407 "No," a sigh, "Everyone said to me, 'Syaoran loves you', and so I thought | |
408 I must love him too. I wanted so badly not to disappoint anyone. But..." | |
409 Sakura flung the phone away, watching it slide across the hard-wood floor | |
410 and spiral there. "I loved Tomoyo. I *love* Tomoyo," she breathed in the | |
411 present tense and all the hope it held. "I never let myself realize, I was | |
412 so scared of disappointing everyone." | |
413 "You were given a power you don't understand," Cerberus pointed out, "How | |
414 were you to know that your love for her bound you together?" | |
415 "I'm the one that cut the cord! Why did I go with Syaoran?" Sakura reached | |
416 blindly for the doll Tomoyo had given her, "The whole time I was there, I | |
417 knew everything was wrong. If I had left, or said no, Tomoyo-chan would | |
418 still be alive." Slowly, Sakura climbed to her feet, approaching her desk | |
419 on shaky legs. Her hands traced the rich cover of the book of Clow, and | |
420 Sakura Cards resting within. "Now I see why Clow wanted to be rid of this | |
421 power." Her hand reached for the small over-head lamp as she opened the | |
422 book, eyes roaming over the beautiful illustrations of power; all beautiful | |
423 lines and careful coloring. The thought was so sudden that Sakura stood | |
424 with the force of it, feeling the world fall away beneath her feet. "Clow | |
425 cheated Death," she murmured. | |
426 "Hai," said Cerberus without thinking. A low tiger chuckle emerged between | |
427 his teeth, "Death came to see Clow, once or twice. Knocked on the door-- | |
428 nice and polite," he smiled at the memory, "but Clow was the most powerful | |
429 sorcerer ever. He only died when he was tired of his power." The seal beast | |
430 gazed at Sakura, suddenly aware of the present, "The most powerful | |
431 sorcerer, save you of course." | |
432 "I had never thought about living forever," Sakura's words drifted, "or | |
433 close to forever, anyway." She turned the pages of the book, faster and | |
434 faster until it was the sound of birds rustling. With awe, she touched over | |
435 the beautiful faces of the Light and the Dark, "I can save her." | |
436 Cerberus stared at his Mistress for a moment, before venturing, "You'll | |
437 have wait, a very long time." | |
438 "I can learn to wait," Sakura murmured. Her hand was on the key, which | |
439 swiftly became her staff; she was bounding towards the open window. Her | |
440 toes touched the windowsill and she leapt out into the night with the Fly | |
441 card giving her staff wings. Raising her eyes to the moon, Sakura cried her | |
442 happiness. Tomoyo had waited so long for her, without ever expecting | |
443 fulfillment-- could not Sakura do the same? | |
444 | |
445 | |
446 | |
447 | |
448 The mortician had curled Tomoyo's hair loosely, draping the deep lavender | |
449 near the girl's neck to cover the scars from the autopsy. Reverently, | |
450 Sakura touched the corpse's pale cheek, feeling the void left by Tomoyo's | |
451 soul. Without the shimmer of the girl inside, the body was husk, a poor | |
452 imitation. With a hiss, she bit her lip, remembering what the doctors had | |
453 officially reported. A rare disease-- the collection of blood in the lungs. | |
454 Tomoyo had drowned to death in her own blood; but the doctors didn't know | |
455 the real reason why. A sob locked in Sakura's throat; Tomoyo didn't look | |
456 like she was sleeping, or even alive at all, only empty, empty. Moving the | |
457 lid of the casket away, Sakura reached for her key. | |
458 "Oh key that holds the power of the Stars," she chanted, hanging ont the | |
459 words with her sanity, "reveal to me thy true form. By the pledge between | |
460 us, Sakura doth command! RELEASE!" The breeze settled, and Sakura felt | |
461 oddly alone-- always, Tomoyo had been by her side, taping and observing her | |
462 magic. Swallowing her sickness, she lifted the first of the cards. | |
463 "CREATE-- make for me a box worthy of holding Tomoyo's heart!" A deep | |
464 breath, and she set the new silver chest aside. "FREEZE-- keep Tomoyo's | |
465 body young forever!" Finally, she raised her right hand high, "SWORD!" | |
466 With her eyes firmly fixed on the empty visage of her beautiful best | |
467 friend, Sakura lifted the sword. | |
468 "I love you, Tomoyo." | |
469 And she drove the blade in next to Tomoyo's heart. | |
470 | |
471 | |
472 | |
473 ================= | |
474 | |
475 DECEMBER 5th, 2109 | |
476 Tomoeda, Japan | |
477 | |
478 Once, the area had been the site of an amusement park in bright colored | |
479 plastics, with children laughing loud into the wind. Before that-- though | |
480 no one in Tomoeda had a memory extending that far-- an old, towering | |
481 mansion had rested on the land. Now both were long gone, bull-dozed in turn | |
482 for progress, and for some twenty years, wild vines and trees had retaken | |
483 the place. The earth easily forgets humanity. In recent years, it had | |
484 become the site of a new building project that had the citizens of Tomoeda | |
485 talking; even the children that climbed the old and faded King Penguin had | |
486 whispered amongst each other. Gradually, a house seemed to grow from the | |
487 ground; yellow, with a porch that circled it and turrets as fine for any | |
488 castle. It became the home of a rich young heiress by the name of Kinomoto | |
489 Sakura, and if there had ever been another young girl with bright green | |
490 eyes, a cheerful spirit and whispering brown hair... well, there was no one | |
491 around to remember her. She looked not a day over sixteen, this young | |
492 woman, though she insisted she was twenty-two, and as far as anyone knew, | |
493 she lived in the house by herself. Sometimes, people said they heard voices | |
494 drifting down from the house, but that was just talk. At first, the towns | |
495 people resented Kinomoto-san in a way, but she gave generously to the | |
496 drill team and cheer-leading club at the elementary school, and she seemed | |
497 to love the town as much as they did. Gradually, she became a regular | |
498 fixture, and people felt free to wave or greet her on the street. However, | |
499 only children really seemed at ease with her; perhaps because, despite her | |
500 powerful baring, she was still so much a child herself. | |
501 | |
502 | |
503 | |
504 | |
505 It was there on the calendar in thick, neat Kanji, some of it spilling | |
506 over into the next neatly lined square. | |
507 "December 5th," Cerberus read what his mistress had written, standing on | |
508 his hunches to see, "Tomoyo died. Please come back, Tomoyo." The name was | |
509 in friendly Hirigana, a little school-girl style heart draw cradled in the | |
510 'to'. "Todays the day," he said, padding across the kitchen tile towards | |
511 his companion, "Think she'll realize it when she wakes up?" | |
512 Perched on a stool near the counter, Yue tossed a lock of moon-white hair | |
513 and snorted, "Of course she knows, my furry friend. As if she hasn't been | |
514 watching the calendar like a hawk." | |
515 "Hai, hai," there was a flash, and Cerberus flitted into his smaller form, | |
516 alighting on Yue's shoulder. "I'm just a little worried, though. She hasn't | |
517 even mentioned it." | |
518 Yue rolled his eyes, "This is a very big thing-- very personal. She's | |
519 probably nervous. I think maybe we should..." | |
520 "Ohayo, Yue-san," the Card Mistress' voice rang clear in the cool winter | |
521 kitchen. She smiled just a little bit, standing in the doorway with the | |
522 rainbow lights of the sun catcher playing over her body. With a practiced | |
523 air, she plucked Cerberus from the air, "Ohayo, Kero-chan." Ignoring the | |
524 looks her friends gave her, Sakura padded towards the cupboard, pulling on | |
525 her silken pajama top. Cutlery and china began to chime together-- the | |
526 sounds of breakfast being made. | |
527 "Ohayo, Sakura-sama," Yue offered, stretching his wings and barely | |
528 managing not to over turn the stool. "Kero-chan and I were just talking. We | |
529 thought perhaps we would let you have the house to yourself today and check | |
530 out the old haunts-- the temple, the park..." | |
531 "Hey," Kero back stroked in the air, "As long as we buy some of that | |
532 really good Pocky from the corner store, I'm happy." Yue batted at him | |
533 absently, watching as his Mistress turned away from the oven. There were | |
534 tears back-lighted emerald by her eyes, just barely swimming over her | |
535 lashes. | |
536 "Arigato, Yue-san," her smile was gentle and thankful, "That's very kind | |
537 of you." | |
538 "Don't mention it," Kero accepted the small pancakes Sakura offered out, | |
539 "It was my idea." Expertly, he dodged Yue's hand, holding out a slice of | |
540 pancake to the young man. | |
541 "I detest food," Yue returned, before turning back to Sakura, "Anyway, I | |
542 think we'll go right now." Sakura nodded softly and watched her two | |
543 companions drift out into the hallway. A moment later, she heard the door | |
544 close, and her body slumped against the counter. Gathering her strength, | |
545 she moved to sit at the table, picking at her food with a hopeless, | |
546 disinterested chop-sticks. Around her, the world was a comfortable new day | |
547 yellow-- outside the window, the sun touched the morning sky opal, and the | |
548 bare trees rose beautiful. Finally, Sakura pushed herself away from the | |
549 table and moved towards the back door on unsteady legs. | |
550 | |
551 Outside, the winter are was crisp and real on Sakura's skin-- she breathed | |
552 and watched small white air-flowers bloom. Trotting down the cobble stone | |
553 path, she moved into the green house, her hands touching lightly on the | |
554 roses, nadeshikos and lilies that grew there. In truth, she felt a little | |
555 silly, a little too much like Eriol-- living in her mansion house and | |
556 playing the recluse. She loved the people of her home town and tried to | |
557 mingle with them when she could, but they always seemed a little wary. As | |
558 she plucked a yellow rose to match the morning, Sakura supposed she didn't | |
559 blame them. She had left scarcely a year after Tomoyo's death, wanting her | |
560 memories of home to be pleasant, and not back-dropped with odd glances and | |
561 whispers of suspicion as she failed to age or change. She returned only | |
562 briefly for her father's funeral, and then for Sonomi-san's and, in the | |
563 mean time, she traveled. She had been to London, to New York, Paris and | |
564 even back to Hong Kong for the wedding of Syaoran and Meiling's | |
565 grand-daughter, Shaiming. Staying in one place for very long was never an | |
566 option, but she grew to enjoy the different landscapes of her life, all the | |
567 while longing for the day when the mystery aboard each boat or train or jet | |
568 she took would not be "who is that pretty young woman?", but "did you see | |
569 that beautiful pale woman and her friend? I wonder who they are". In a way, | |
570 she feared her hundred years of living would make her feel separate from | |
571 Tomoyo-- put distance between them, that they would no longer be able to be | |
572 friends. Still, the words of her gentle best friend ("There is no one I | |
573 want to be with more thn Sakura-chan") would come to her at night, and she | |
574 would dream of adventures for the both of them. Tomoyo had always seemed | |
575 ageless-- perhaps she and Sakura had finally caught up. | |
576 | |
577 Smiling lightly, Sakura carried her armful of flowers back to the house, | |
578 waving at the young school girls as they passed. | |
579 "Ohayo, Kinomoto-san!" one voice raised itself above the rest, and the | |
580 owner lingered by the hedge. | |
581 "Good morning to you, too, Asahi-san," Sakura greeted, patting the girl's | |
582 ebony braids with affection, "How are you?" | |
583 "I'm fine," Asahi chirped, her lop-sided red winter coat making her look | |
584 like a robin, "You look very happy, Kinomoto-san. How are you?" | |
585 "I'm well," Sakura felt a slight blush, "and I am happy. A friend of mine | |
586 will be returning today. It has been a long time since I've seen her." | |
587 "Really?" Asahi enthused, "Can I meet her?" | |
588 "I hope so..." Sakura looked away, "though perhaps she may not want to | |
589 stay. I have wronged her in the past, and hope to make up to her." | |
590 "Why didn't you see her earlier?" the younger girl inquired. | |
591 "Ah," Sakura laughed, mostly at herself, "We've had to wait-- I do miss | |
592 her so much." | |
593 "Well," Asahi pressed a finger to her lip, considering, "Even if my mother | |
594 says you are strange, Kinomoto-san, I don't see how any one could not like | |
595 you. I am sure your friend will stay!" | |
596 "Thank you, Asahi-san," Sakura murmured, selecting a yellow rose and | |
597 several small white flowers from her load. "That makes me feel a lot | |
598 better." Handing the small bouquet over the hedge, Sakura suggested, "Why | |
599 don't you take these to put in your class room. It'll help brighten up | |
600 winter." | |
601 "Thank *you*, Kinomoto-san!" Asahi clasped the blooms to her heart, "It's | |
602 the last day before break! I can't wait! Winter break is magic!" With that, | |
603 the young girl turned and ran pell-mell down the street, pausing at the | |
604 corner to look back and wave. | |
605 "Don't forget to button your coat!" Sakura called after her, "It's cold | |
606 out!" | |
607 "Look who's in their nightgown!" Asahi shouted in return, giggling. Their | |
608 laughter rang the bare tree branches. | |
609 "Winter break is magic," Sakura murmured, sobering. Turning, she went back | |
610 into the house, knowing she could not make herself wait any longer. | |
611 | |
612 | |
613 In Tibet, Sakura had met a young woman who painted other people's sadness, | |
614 so that they might look at it objectively. The Card Mistress kept her | |
615 painting in a large, unused bedroom, mounted over a table on which stood a | |
616 fine silver box. The canvas was coated with both longing and beauty; it was | |
617 a portrait almost identical to Tomoyo, a young woman with long | |
618 black-lavander hair standing by a window, cloak wrapped around her and | |
619 gazing out to the winter sea. There were other things Sakura kept in the | |
620 bedroom as well. A video camera, tapes, sewing supplies, and stacks upon | |
621 stacks of journals and sketchbooks-- those things given to her by Sonomi | |
622 after Tomoyo's funeral. Without realizing she was crying, Sakura placed the | |
623 flowers in a vase on the nightstand, smoothing the coverlet on the bed. | |
624 There were fine velvet draps over the windows, rows of beautiful dolls on | |
625 the wall, waiting for an owner. On the dresser, there were baubles of every | |
626 kind, jewlery and trinkets selected for someone special. All these things, | |
627 Sakura had collected, always thinking of Tomoyo-- and yet, now all she | |
628 wanted was to run through the street with her friend, to play ring around | |
629 the rosy in the park and fall down upon each other. | |
630 | |
631 "Oh, key that hides the power of the stars," Sakura began, lifting the lid | |
632 of the silver box and gazing in on the thing preserved so perfectly in ice. | |
633 A heart, the most perfect one-- for it was Tomoyo's. "I call upon Dark and | |
634 Light, I call upon Life! Give form to the woman who's heart has waited so | |
635 long! Give life to someone who was robbed of it so young! I call upon the | |
636 heavens-- once more give body to the spirit of Daidouji Tomoyo!" | |
637 | |
638 There was a moment when the room seemed terribly vacant-- as void as the | |
639 corpse Sakura had watched buried so long ago. Then, an impossible breeze, | |
640 brushing her short hair against her chin, and... Tomoyo. The pale girl | |
641 stood still and bare, marveling at her hands, her long arms; her hair moved | |
642 about her like a thing alive. Someone gasped, someone else cried out-- | |
643 Tomoyo's gray gaze met Sakura's own. | |
644 "Sakura-chan," Tomoyo's voice was clear and distinct, a perfect crystal | |
645 note, "You brought me back. Your magic," there was a smile, and that joy | |
646 Sakura thought she'd never see again-- Tomoyo was happy to see her! "I | |
647 didn't think... after I told you..." | |
648 Sakura swallowed painfully, "Tomoyo-- it was my fault... it wasn't just | |
649 your love, it was mine!" Tears now, ringing with laughter, and still they | |
650 stood apart. Neither dared to touch the other, each watching, each sure her | |
651 hand would find a ghost. "My love tried to keep you with me. I was | |
652 selfish--" | |
653 "I wanted Sakura-chan to be happy," Tomoyo confessed, " I thought Syaoran | |
654 would do that for you." | |
655 "I know," Sakura reached out her shaking fingers, finally tangling them in | |
656 Tomoyo's soft hair, "It's okay. Even I didn't know what I really wanted." | |
657 Stepping forward, Sakura stood in the circle of Tomoyo's open arms, | |
658 bringing her mouth close the other girl's ear to deliver the words. A | |
659 whisper, "I love you, Tomoyo. Maybe we won't always be happy---" | |
660 "I have only wanted Sakura to be happy," Tomoyo cradled the other girl's | |
661 cheek, "but I would be happy, sad or anything in between with my Sakura." | |
662 Embracing the other woman, Sakura began to cry in earnest, pressing her | |
663 lips to Tomoyo's stainless palms. | |
664 | |
665 | |
666 OWARI | |
667 | |
668 |