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1 Hi everyone! ^-^ This is a songfic I finished while I was depressed over a few
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2 things and when I was supposed to be working on my ChibiUsa & Hotaru
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3 manga story. ^^;;; It’s about Zero from Rockman X and hopefully it shows the
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4 pain a ‘hero’ endures. I really hope you like it. ^-^ It's to the song
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5 'Superman' by Five for Fighting.
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6
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7 Superman
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8 by Amazoness Duo
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9 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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10
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11
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12 “I can’t stand to fly.
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13 I’m not that naïve.
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14 I’m just out to find
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15 The better part of me”
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16
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17 Zero gazed across the ruined cityscape, his Z-saber still held firmly in
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18 his gloved hand as he surveyed the carnage. It was like some vision straight
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19 from a horrible nightmare. What made it even worse was that he knew he was
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20 responsible for a good portion of it. All in the line of duty, of course. But
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21 sometimes he wondered if that was enough. He was causing just as much
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22 damage as the Irregulars. What was the difference? Both sides were fighting for
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23 peace, but a peace that would fulfil their own objectives. And what was Zero
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24 trying to do? He was an Irregular Hunter, but did he really believe
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25 wholeheartedly in their ideals? He didn’t know anymore. They were good
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26 ideals. To protect the humans from those Repliroids that had turned against
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27 them. But the Irregulars had their own ideals. They wanted to have the freedom
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28 long denied them by their human creators.
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29 The blond robot didn’t fool himself into thinking that he believed in all
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30 of the Irregular Hunters ideals. The truth of the matter was that he had to keep
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31 fighting. He had to keep running. From whom or what, he was uncertain. But he
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32 knew that the only solace he found, his only form of escape was deep in battle.
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33 Trying to set things right. But he had no idea how he could ever possibly put
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34 things right. Things were far too complicated for a simple battle to solve. So
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35 Zero kept scrambling from battle to battle, continuing his war against the
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36 Irregulars. No, that wasn’t what he was fighting. That was a specification of his
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37 job as the leader of Zero Unit. His personal war was being waged against Sigma.
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38 That’s what had led him this far. Whether he was running away from his
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39 problems or head on into them, he only knew he had to keep going.
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40
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41 “I’m more than a bird,
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42 I’m more than a plane,
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43 I’m more than some pretty face beside a train.
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44 And it’s not easy to be me.”
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45
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46 Zero was the ultimate warrior. He was strong, quick, very nearly
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47 unstoppable. A ruthless killer if he had to be. Someone who would accomplish
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48 the mission objectives no matter what the situation. But that wasn’t necessarily
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49 true. He was so much more than that. He was a lost and confused soul. He was a
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50 traveler, weary of his travels and where they might take him. He was a wounded
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51 child, hiding amidst the rubble, hoping someone would come along and save
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52 him. Yet he held up the image that he had projected around himself from very
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53 near his activation, hiding behind the strong warrior that everyone believed him
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54 to be. He could play his part well enough. It protected him in the same way he
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55 tried to protect those that he fought for. Let them believe what they wanted. It
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56 was safer that way, to be cold, to not give in to the emotions that boiled within
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57 his soul. He was calm and collected, always cool under fire.
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58 He was inches away from the edge of chaos, dancing ever closer to the
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59 ledge and just about to plunge into madness.
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60
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61 “I wish that I could cry,
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62 Fall upon my knees.
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63 Find a way to lie,
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64 About a home I’ll never see.”
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65
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66 His image was so close to shattering and no one noticed. Not the
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67 Irregulars that he spent so much time stalking nor his comrades back at the
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68 Irregular Hunters. In the end, they were no different. They were all lonely souls,
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69 fighting for their beliefs in an endless war that seemed to spiral out with him at
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70 it’s very core. He didn’t know how much time he could keep fighting. His will
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71 was slipping. After Iris’s death, he had to rethink just what he was fighting for.
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72 And he still didn’t know. X. But one day he would have to kill X to save
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73 everything. And he would do it in an eye blink. But in doing so, he would be
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74 killing himself as well, finally breaking the last pieces of whatever lay in his
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75 cold heart. And he would finally allow himself to cry. To fully realize the
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76 atrocities he had seen and been a part of. He still didn’t have any idea who he
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77 was. He had played so many parts over the last few years. Mentor, friend, lover,
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78 comrade, enemy. And throughout it all, he kept up the charade, always
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79 wondering how much longer he had before it slipped from his fingers entirely.
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80 He was running out of time. And he was no closer to finding out who he really
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81 was.
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82
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83 “It may sound absurd,
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84 But don’t be naïve.
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85 Even heroes have the right to bleed.
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86 I may be disturbed,
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87 But won’t you concede?
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88 Even heroes have the right to dream.
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89 And it’s not easy to be me.”
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90
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91 Zero didn’t know how long he could keep fighting. He couldn’t run
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92 much further. The demons were right on his heels, about to drag him down and
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93 finish him, to stop him from his pointless war. He knew it was only a matter of
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94 time before it was over. He thought he had grown numb to the battles, to the
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95 war, but he found himself growing distasteful of it, getting a sick taste in his
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96 mouth at the thought of battles to come. He had tried so hard to portray himself
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97 as a warrior, but even he couldn’t last forever. He needed a rest before his weary
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98 soul collapsed entirely. The fighting had taken its toll on the blond robot.
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99 Despite his best efforts, he knew that his time was almost spent. That thought
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100 gave him pause. Should he carry on? Was this really worth the effort? If he
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101 stopped running, would he finally have to face his past and the demons inside of
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102 himself? Was it impossible for him to ever get the peace he longed for? Or did
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103 he only live to fight? In which case, he may just welcome his death.
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104
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105 “Up, up, and away...
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106 Away from me.
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107 Well it’s all right.
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108 You can all sleep sound tonight.
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109 I’m not crazy.
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110 Or anything.”
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111
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112 A damaged Irregular attempting to drag itself away caught his eye as he
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113 stood on the edge. With a swift shot of his Z-Buster, the Irregular fell silent. He
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114 had accomplished his mission. But at what cost? What separated the Hunter
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115 from the hunted? When would the distinction blur to the point where it no longer
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116 existed? X was still grounded firmly in his pacifism, trying to cling to peace
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117 with all of his dear little heart. But Zero knew full well the dangerous line he
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118 was treading. He and Sigma had switched places on which side of the dance
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119 between Hunters and Irregulars they were both on, after all. Zero had originally
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120 been the Irregular, but now he was the one hunting Sigma. How long before
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121 there was nothing at all to distinguish between the two anymore? With every
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122 battle, it was an inner struggle to keep balanced on the fine line separating them.
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123 But there was something deep inside of him that he had struggled to control for
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124 years now. And his steel grip on it was weakening. He’d already lost Iris,
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125 Colonel, and Teal to the war. What would he do if he lost X? Could he afford to
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126 lose his last tie to sanity?
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127
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128 “I can’t stand to fly.
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129 I’m not that naïve.
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130 Men weren’t meant to ride,
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131 With clouds between their knees.”
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132
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133 Every single day, Zero stepped out to confront the ugly conflict that
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134 threatened to tug the population of earth apart. He was always in the middle of
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135 the worst possible situations, getting his hands dirty in whatever needed to be
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136 solved. But he was only one man. And he was so tired... He’d already seen and
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137 done more than anyone ever should have to. It was too much. It was burying
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138 him alive and he couldn’t claw his way back to the surface. It was slowly
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139 crushing him under the immensity of it all. He knew that he would fall soon
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140 enough under that weight. It was simply too much for him to bear. He just
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141 wasn’t strong enough. All of his faith was placed in X, that the blue robot would
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142 somehow be able to put right what he couldn’t, that he could survive the trip into
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143 madness that Zero was starting to fail at.
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144
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145 “I’m only a man,
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146 In a silly red sheet.
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147 Digging for Kryptonite on this one way street.”
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148
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149 Holding his Z-Saber tightly, he looked down to the ruined city below.
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150 He was designed and built to be a war machine, to kill. Whoever had made him
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151 had planned for him to fight. And so that’s what he was doing. Parts could be
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152 added, pieces could be fixed. But his creator had forgotten the most important
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153 piece of all. His soul was being worn down by the constant brutality, the
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154 constant insanity that surrounded his every waking moment. No, he may be a
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155 war machine, but that didn’t mean anything about the man inside. He was
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156 foolish to be out here trying for a victory that he knew would never come. The
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157 vicious cycle would continue on forevermore. There was only so much he could
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158 take before the burden became too much.
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159
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160 “Only a man,
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161 In a funny red sheet.
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162 Looking for special things inside of me.
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163 Inside of me.
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164 Inside of me.
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165 Yeah.
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166 Inside of me.
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167 Inside of me.”
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168
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169 What was inside the war machine? What was he besides a killer? He
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170 knew X could answer that, but the answers eluded him in the cold night. He
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171 knew he was weak and tired. But he couldn’t rest now. There was still so much
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172 to be done. Too bad he wouldn’t be around for the end of it. He had won this
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173 battle, but it would only be a downward spiral from there. Coming forth
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174 victorious from battle didn’t always mean he had made it through unscathed. He
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175 may be able to continue winning in his fight with the Irregulars, but his mind
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176 couldn’t take much more. The shell was about to crack and get to the soft insides
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177 of his soul. Just who was he? Had he really made a difference? Was he more
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178 than the war machine that everyone presumed he was? Everyone but X. But
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179 even with the smaller robot’s faith in him, he wasn’t quite so sure of himself. He
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180 didn’t think he could last much longer. He hoped that X would understand. He
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181 couldn’t stay around for him, no matter how much he wanted to.
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182
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183 “I’m only a man
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184 In a funny red sheet.
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185 I’m only a man looking for a dream.
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186 I’m only a man
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187 In a funny red sheet.
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188 And it’s not easy...”
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189
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190 It was almost over. He didn’t have a lot of time left. He needed to
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191 figure things out for himself. Who he was and what was deep inside of him. His
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192 fight was almost over. But before it was, he would have to confront his past. A
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193 shiver went through him as his eyes shut tight, trying to keep back the torrent of
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194 emotions breaking through his cold exterior. Just a little further. He had to push
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195 himself a little further before he could call it quits. He didn’t know if he could
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196 last that long. But he knew he had to try.
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197
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198 “It’s not easy to be me...”
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199
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200 Zero turned from the flames, walking silently into the night. His helmet
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201 hung limply from his fingers. Fighting didn’t hold anymore appeal to him
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202 tonight. He was sick. All he wanted was to go back ‘home’ and rest. And try
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203 desperately to hold himself together. Just a little longer.
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