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rlm@2
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1 Hi!
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2 Words written like _this_ are in Italics.
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3 This is kind of an epilogue to the trilogy Hotaru's Pain. It makes
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4 more sense if you read that one first, but what do I care about
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5 what you do. I kinda like this story.
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6
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7
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8 Letters from Desolation Row
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9 By the Ghost of 'lectricity
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10
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11
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12 Prologue
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13 Tangled up in Blue
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14
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15 So now I'm goin' back again
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16 Got to get to her somehow
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17 We always did feel the same
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18 We just saw it from a different point of view
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19
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20 Bob Dylan
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21
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22
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23 Part 1
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24 Desolation Row
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25
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26 A young woman was sitting under a massive tree atop a hill. It
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27 was a strong and a very old tree; it must have stood there for
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28 ages. The leaves of the mighty tree were filtering the warm
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29 sunlight as it shone down in golden blots upon the woman. A warm
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30 summer breeze was blowing up the hill, tangling the woman's black
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31 hair with little tongues of air licking past her face. Tufts of her
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32 hair were swirled about and danced around her neck while the wind
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33 relieved a bit of the heat of the summer afternoon.
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34 In the valley below the hill, spread before the woman, lay the
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35 city of Crystal Tokyo, home of Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion
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36 - and their daughter.
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37 The woman looked about twenty, twenty-five at best. As young as
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38 her body seemed, her eyes told a whole different story. Her dark
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39 jewels lost the glow of youth a long time ago. Her eyes were that
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40 of an old woman, a woman who has seen generations go by, who has
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41 seen lives of people that grew close to her wither away like the
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42 leaves of this mighty tree do every year. A woman who has witnessed
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43 horrors other people never dare to think of, let alone imagine
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44 them.
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45 The only one who could still smile genuinely after all those years
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46 was the queen. And how couldn't she... She had someone to love her,
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47 someone as immortal as they all were. And she had a beautiful
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48 daughter.
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49 Oh, had she have never met her, how different her life would be.
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50 She would have died long ago, the torture of immortality would have
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51 been spared to her. Her loneliness would have lasted only a
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52 lifetime, her object of desire would have stayed hidden from her
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53 eyes. But now she must face eternity alone, with her princess just
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54 within reach, yet so unattainable.
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55 People regarded them as angels, avatars, or something similar yet
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56 she was already broken, long before the sky will ever open for her.
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57 Forsaken she was sinking beneath the flood of tears that dried out
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58 centuries ago.
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59 How she wished she could be as strong as this tree was. But she
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60 wasn't. She was weak. Who would want someone as weak as her? Why
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61 does a princess want someone as weak as her?
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62
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63
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64 Part 2
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65 Blood in my Eyes
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66
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67 A young woman was heading up a hill to the north of Crystal Tokyo.
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68 The hill was off grounds for the citizens of Crystal Tokyo. The
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69 hill was off grounds even for the members of the Royal Family and
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70 the Senshi. The hill had a concentrated amount of negative energy.
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71 Many fatal accidents happened here in the recent past, the few
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72 suicides that were committed in this city of angels were committed
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73 here.
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74 The hot summer afternoon was already turning into evening but the
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75 heat was still unbearable. The hands and knees of the young woman
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76 were bleeding as she fell to the ground more than once - the heat
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77 and the negative karma taking their toll. And yet she continued
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78 walking the path that led her to the top. For someone was waiting
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79 at the top. Someone who has been waiting there for a long time.
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80 Once she had already walked this path in vain. The one atop the
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81 hill sent her away... But why? They had sworn each other love. But
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82 that was a long time ago for the one atop the hill. Did she tire of
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83 waiting? But why is she still up there then? It just doesn't make
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84 sense...
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85 The young woman's eyes filled with tears each time she thought
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86 about walking this path down alone _again_. But this time the dark
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87 beauty on the hill had a promise to keep. She smiled at how easily
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88 and without thinking she gave away that promise. She couldn't help
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89 but wonder if she regrets that promise now. Why was it so simple
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90 then and why is it so hard now? If she walks this path down alone,
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91 this time she'll at least know why. Although she doubted she'd ever
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92 get over it.
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93 Her feet were hurting tremendously, her knees were bleeding as
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94 well as her hands. The sweat from her forehead was dripping into
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95 her eyes, already sore from her crying. She needed a rest badly.
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96 She wanted to stop right then and there but something drove her on.
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97 _Again_. She fell to the rocky ground again. Leaving some blood
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98 and her wish to stop behind she rose to her feet and continued her
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99 journey through the thorns. For if there was one thing she ever
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100 learned from her mother it was to have faith in love. And to fight
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101 for love. Because love _will_ find a way.
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102
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103
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104 Part 3
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105 Shot of Love
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106
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107 There she is. She just scaled the crest and now she's standing
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108 there as if stricken by lightning. I knew she'd come. That spoiled
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109 brat. Can't she understand there are certain things she cannot
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110 have? As soon as I heard she went back I knew she'd come sooner or
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111 later. When I woke up this morning with this new memories inside my
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112 head it was as clear as day to me. And the promise. The promise she
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113 forced out of my 20th century self. But if I'm honest I have to
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114 admit that she didn't force it. She couldn't do that. She's too
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115 good to do that. If I had felt in any way unsure about it she
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116 wouldn't pursue it further. I was so naive then. Then she was only
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117 my lover. Now she's the princess.
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118 She's still standing there. Watching me. Watching me watching her
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119 watching me. Her white royal gown with the golden rings over her
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120 chest. The wind is playing with her pigtails and the ends of her
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121 dress. Her pigtails are slightly different than her mother's. They
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122 are a bit puffier at their base and reach only to her knees at
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123 best. But basically the same impossible hairstyle only the two
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124 manage to pull off without looking silly. Her arms are hanging
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125 helplessly at her sides, the golden rings over her chest are being
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126 lifted and dropped by her heavy breathing. But something is wrong.
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127 I didn't notice it at first - I admit that her sight entranced me.
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128 Her dress is stained with blood, her eyes are red. Her hair is in a
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129 mess, the golden rings aren't perfectly in place... But actually
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130 they never are. She is probably the messiest princess there ever
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131 was.
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132 And yet she's so graceful - a sight to behold.
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133 Now she has finally overcome the fear and she's walking up to me.
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134 Slowly and unsure. The path leading to the top is rocky, but up her
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135 grass is growing. I stand up; she's right in front of me. How long
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136 will she be able to meet my gaze like that? Not even a second. She
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137 fell down on her knees and now her deep crimson eyes full of tears
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138 are looking anxiously up into mine. I have to be strong - for her.
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139 "I'll keep my promise... I do still love you." Cool and collected.
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140 I'm sorry... "But that doesn't matter. You mustn't love me!"
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141 "Wha- What are you saying?"
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142 "You will become the Queen of Crystal Tokyo one day. You have
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143 obligations too keep. For one thing you have to have heirs."
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144 "I don't care if... if our love is fruitless."
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145 "No! You are already spoken for. Your marriage date with Prince
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146 Helios is all but set!"
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147 "That's not true! I don't love him!"
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148 Can't she understand? I sit down in front of her, her eyes still
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149 fixed on mine. "You are the future queen! You cannot love another
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150 woman." This was the final blow. Needless to say I stressed each
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151 word to make sure she'd understand. Now it's over. I always thought
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152 I'd be relieved when I finally close this book. Anyway, now I can
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153 go on with my life and find myself a girl with pink pigtails to
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154 remind me of her. Maybe I'll even manage to love her through the
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155 course of time.
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156 Her face convulsed in a childlike manner when she heard these
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157 words and she slumped down into my lap. I feel the fabric of my
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158 dress soaking up her tears. I feel her heavy ragged breathing
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159 against it. I can _feel_ her... For the first time in almost a
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160 thousand years I can feel her again. I haven't realized how much I
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161 missed the feeling of her hair between my fingers. I take a deep
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162 breath to inhale her calming scent. Just like I remember it.
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163 She's unlike any other person I ever met. I fail every time I try
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164 to describe her. Angel. That is the only word that comes close. Yet
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165 it doesn't touch her essence. It only manages to scratch the
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166 surface. She's so much more.
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167 I can hear her words, but they come to me from a distance.
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168 "But I do love you. And I couldn't live without your love..."
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169 "Why? Why don't you just let go?"
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170 I can feel her arms tighten around my waist as she speaks into my
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171 dress.
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172 "I love you Hotaru-chan... I love you, I want to marry you, I want
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173 to spend the rest of eternity with you."
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174 At this point she raises her head and looks into my eyes. And when
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175 is see her eyes now - for the first time so clearly - I know she
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176 didn't lie. If I would send her away she would wither away like a
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177 flower without water. She needs love as much as other people need
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178 air.
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179 Now I understand.
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180
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181
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182 Epilogue
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183 Series of Dreams
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184
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185 "ChibiUsa, how is this possible?"
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186 ChibiUsa. Nobody except her calls me that any more. I guess I'm
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187 not that chibi any more.
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188 "Sit down over here, ChibiUsa." She steers me into that oversized
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189 armchair we sometimes spend the evening cuddling in. She sits down
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190 opposite to me on a chair and pierces her eyes into mine.
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191 "Listen carefully, ChibiUsa. You are a woman. I am a woman. You
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192 can't possibly be pregnant from me." She treats me as if I had some
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193 kind of a disease or something. But she never doubts my loyalty to
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194 her.
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195 "I think it was the Ginzuishu."
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196 "...I don't understand." Of course she doesn't, I can see it in
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197 her eyes. She's so cute when she doesn't understand.
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198 "A few weeks ago it was glowing slightly when I woke up in the
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199 morning. It was so subtle that I didn't know if it was for real or
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200 were my eyes just playing tricks on me. I'm sure it happened that
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201 night." A few moment pass before a tear trickles down her face. A
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202 tear of joy surely because she's smiling. She reaches out her left
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203 hand and touches my cheek. Oh, I didn't know I was crying also. You
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204 always do that to me. Around you I always forget about myself. She
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205 sits down beside me in our armchair and kisses my bare shoulder.
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206 "Hotaru-chan, I'm already pregnant. You don't have to make
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207 passionate love to me."
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208 "I love you, ChibiUsa."
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209 "I love you too, Hotaru."
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210
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211
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212
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213 The End
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214
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215
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216 The titles for each part are titles of Bob Dylan songs. I don't own
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217 the copyright to them as well as I don't own the copyright for
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218 Sailor Moon.
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219
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220 Peter Dobaj
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221 The Ghost of 'lectricity
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222 lectricity@email.si
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