annotate old/stories/dearsakura-11.txt @ 4:69f0191c9016 moonlitnights tip

added error.log and access.log
author Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu>
date Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:42:35 -0400
parents fc00894c1d4a
children
rev   line source
rlm@2 1 Dear Sakura
rlm@2 2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
rlm@2 3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@2 4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
rlm@2 5
rlm@2 6 “It’s beautiful, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s melodious voice said as they
rlm@2 7 both paused in front of the Jumbo restaurant. Her words were an
rlm@2 8 understatement to the surreal view of the floating restaurant ahead
rlm@2 9 of the two women. Water splashed around it as the many lights played
rlm@2 10 across Tomoyo’s pale skin.
rlm@2 11 “Hoe...” The sight before them was a pleasant surprise to Sakura as
rlm@2 12 well. She had been to a number of restaurants with Syaoran when they
rlm@2 13 had first come to Hong Kong, but this hadn’t been one of them. Which
rlm@2 14 was part of her decision to take Tomoyo to it now that it was her
rlm@2 15 last night in Hong Kong. That thought lay over her soul like a heavy
rlm@2 16 cloak, it’s weight almost unbearable. But she tried to force it off,
rlm@2 17 wanting to enjoy what little time they had left. She had wanted to
rlm@2 18 take Tomoyo out for dinner, just the two of them. A chance to be
rlm@2 19 alone together one last time. Now she was glad for her decision. The
rlm@2 20 restaurant looked majestic with the waves crashing around it.
rlm@2 21 Watching her spirited friend, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. For
rlm@2 22 all of it’s splendor, the restaurant ahead of them was nothing in
rlm@2 23 comparison to Sakura. She was simply gorgeous in the beautiful blue
rlm@2 24 Chinese dress she was wearing. Her soft brunette hair framed her
rlm@2 25 pretty face perfectly, her expression still one of surprise.
rlm@2 26 Squeezing Sakura’s hand lightly, her eyes sparkled when she saw
rlm@2 27 Sakura turn to her. This was wonderful, standing with Sakura together
rlm@2 28 while they waited to be seated at a restaurant as if they were on
rlm@2 29 some sort of magical date. Only being able to have the whole thing on
rlm@2 30 videotape could make it any better. Or perhaps if it were a real
rlm@2 31 date... But Tomoyo was pleasantly thrilled just to be there with
rlm@2 32 Sakura on something that came close enough to a date for her liking.
rlm@2 33 Sakura found herself blushing slightly at the way Tomoyo was
rlm@2 34 looking at her. It was the same warm and loving expression that
rlm@2 35 Tomoyo had always given her when she had the dark haired woman’s full
rlm@2 36 attention. Which was more often than not. She averted her gaze after
rlm@2 37 a few seconds, once again busying herself with the beautiful
rlm@2 38 establishment in front of them. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she
rlm@2 39 kept looking into those stormy blue eyes. They were almost hypnotic.
rlm@2 40 “Well, we better get going before they decide to give away our
rlm@2 41 seats.” Tomoyo agreed enthusiastically and the two finally entered
rlm@2 42 the restaurant.
rlm@2 43
rlm@2 44 True to its gorgeous exterior, the inside was just as exquisite.
rlm@2 45 And completely packed. For a while, Sakura worried that even with her
rlm@2 46 reservations she wouldn’t be able to get a table. But the Li family
rlm@2 47 was very important in Hong Kong, and Sakura Li was treated no
rlm@2 48 differently. Before too long, she and her dark haired best friend had
rlm@2 49 been seated and their orders taken. “Are you sure that’s all you
rlm@2 50 want, Tomoyo-chan? You can get more if you want,” Sakura said upon
rlm@2 51 realizing how little the pale woman had ordered. Then again, Tomoyo
rlm@2 52 had never eaten a considerable amount, her slim figure almost seeming
rlm@2 53 frail.
rlm@2 54 Tomoyo smiled politely and shook her head, her beautiful lavender
rlm@2 55 tresses swaying behind her. “No, I’m fine, Sakura-chan. I think I’m
rlm@2 56 still full from the banquet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much
rlm@2 57 food in one place before. Poor Kero-chan must have been very
rlm@2 58 disappointed not to be invited.” Both women giggled softly, the
rlm@2 59 tension fading away somewhat. This was Tomoyo’s last night in Hong
rlm@2 60 Kong and though neither woman had spoken it directly, it was
rlm@2 61 lingering unsaid between the two of them. This was their last chance
rlm@2 62 together, and Tomoyo still hadn’t decided how she should react to it.
rlm@2 63 Her initial decision about the whole trip had been to hide her
rlm@2 64 feelings for Sakura, to tone down her endless affection for the
rlm@2 65 brunette in fear that it would be unwelcome with her marriage.
rlm@2 66 But Sakura had baffled her upon her arrival. It was like returning
rlm@2 67 to a loved one after years of absence. She could imagine it was
rlm@2 68 similar to when Syaoran had returned to Sakura. She had greeted
rlm@2 69 Tomoyo with such warmth and affection, staying nearby during the
rlm@2 70 trip, her love almost seeming to echo Tomoyo’s own. It was eerie and
rlm@2 71 not at all what she had expected, but it had grasped onto her heart
rlm@2 72 quickly and wouldn’t let go. Sakura had always been very loving with
rlm@2 73 her, but this went beyond all of her own expectations. It was almost
rlm@2 74 as if Sakura’s love mirrored her own. It rattled the locked cage of
rlm@2 75 her heart, drawing her love and adoration out from behind the masks
rlm@2 76 she had erected. Hiding her love from Sakura was impossible, she knew
rlm@2 77 that now. It was all she could do to keep from blatantly telling
rlm@2 78 Sakura of her feelings, something she knew would certainly be
rlm@2 79 disastrous. If Sakura knew how she felt, it would cause endless
rlm@2 80 turmoil for her marriage and their friendship. She simply couldn’t
rlm@2 81 allow that. Sakura’s happiness meant everything to her. But still, it
rlm@2 82 was almost impossible to deny the feelings she was getting from the
rlm@2 83 brunette, the way she had kissed back, the way she was acting. When
rlm@2 84 was the last time she had seen Sakura acting like this? With Yukito?
rlm@2 85 No, this didn’t have the same trappings of a crush that her behavior
rlm@2 86 with Yukito had indicated to Tomoyo early on. Which led up to some
rlm@2 87 very confusing conclusions for the dark haired designer. She was
rlm@2 88 having a much harder time telling herself that there was nothing
rlm@2 89 there. Looking into Sakura’s eyes, seeing those bright emerald orbs
rlm@2 90 looking back into hers, she could see something that both thrilled
rlm@2 91 and frightened her.
rlm@2 92 There was something there that was growing inside Sakura. Just what
rlm@2 93 it was, Tomoyo was still left a little unsure. Her mind kept
rlm@2 94 returning to the kiss and moments before when Sakura had been holding
rlm@2 95 her. The one thing Tomoyo could be sure of was that she would soon
rlm@2 96 begin to disrupt Sakura’s life if she allowed these feelings of the
rlm@2 97 Cardmistress’s to continue. Sakura had a husband, a new life in Hong
rlm@2 98 Kong. Tomoyo was an anchor tying her down to the past. Perhaps now
rlm@2 99 more than ever. She had wanted to come to Hong Kong as a way to help
rlm@2 100 Sakura let go of the past, but it seemed that she was making it
rlm@2 101 worse. It was painful being so near Sakura, loving her so completely
rlm@2 102 while knowing that she was still married to her true love. So close,
rlm@2 103 yet so far. Look, but don’t touch. It felt as if she were an infinite
rlm@2 104 distance away from Sakura at times when they were only feet apart.
rlm@2 105 But her love could travel that distance. Even if Sakura couldn’t see
rlm@2 106 it. Was Syaoran really Sakura’s true love? The dark haired woman had
rlm@2 107 been so intent on finding the person that could make Sakura happy
rlm@2 108 that she had truly believed it was Syaoran. Now she wasn’t so sure.
rlm@2 109 After Ieran’s words and her time spent with Sakura, she couldn’t be
rlm@2 110 so certain that he was anymore. But it was too late for any of that.
rlm@2 111 He had to be the one for Sakura. He had to. And Tomoyo could do
rlm@2 112 nothing but disrupt that, tearing apart Sakura’s happiness by staying
rlm@2 113 with her.
rlm@2 114 That was why she had decided late the night before, through many
rlm@2 115 tears and much heartache, that this was goodbye. Not that she could
rlm@2 116 come out and tell Sakura that, of course. Or that she would even act
rlm@2 117 on it all at once. No, this was their last time together. She would
rlm@2 118 never return to Hong Kong after this trip. She was now more sure than
rlm@2 119 ever that the only way to keep Sakura truly happy was to fade out of
rlm@2 120 her life. Staying would be too painful for the brunette as her
rlm@2 121 feelings became more confusing and as Tomoyo remained an ever present
rlm@2 122 reminder of her past. She had to admit that part of her reasoning was
rlm@2 123 that she couldn’t handle it herself. After being so close to Sakura,
rlm@2 124 feeling her heart in a new way and sharing her first kiss with her
rlm@2 125 best friend, it was too painful to remain in her life knowing that
rlm@2 126 she was no longer necessary to it. So she would fade away. Slowly at
rlm@2 127 first, until she could slip out of Sakura’s life. By then she would
rlm@2 128 be nothing more than a memory in Sakura’s happy life. A memory that
rlm@2 129 would not be missed.
rlm@2 130 Smiling her sweet, happy smile that she always managed to keep up
rlm@2 131 for Sakura's sake, she managed to smile a little brighter at the
rlm@2 132 brunette. She wanted to leave on a happy note. A glorious note. One
rlm@2 133 that would leave Sakura with good memories of her friend’s visit. So
rlm@2 134 she would not let her pained feelings inside get a foothold again
rlm@2 135 like she had the night of the kiss. No, this time she would be all
rlm@2 136 smiles for Sakura. She would be everything for Sakura. Because she
rlm@2 137 loved her.
rlm@2 138 Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura brushed back a lock of hair from
rlm@2 139 her eyes. The restaurant was gorgeous. She must have done more
rlm@2 140 sightseeing in her time during Tomoyo’s visit than she had during her
rlm@2 141 entire time prior in Hong Kong. Oh, the wonderful things she had
rlm@2 142 seen! It was truly a beautiful city. But the best part had been that
rlm@2 143 she had been able to see it with her best friend. Such things were
rlm@2 144 always infinitely more amazing when you could experience them with
rlm@2 145 someone important to you. “It was a lot of fun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank
rlm@2 146 you for everything." The light on Tomoyo almost made her look like a
rlm@2 147 part of the surreal design of the restaurant, adding to its beauty.
rlm@2 148 Tomoyo looked a little surprised, something she rarely was. Shaking
rlm@2 149 her head, she quickly came back to the present, tilting her head to
rlm@2 150 the side. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Sakura-chan. I
rlm@2 151 had a lovely time. I always have fun when I’m with Sakura-chan. And
rlm@2 152 anything is a great excuse to spend more time with you. I just like
rlm@2 153 to be around you.”
rlm@2 154 They were words that Sakura had heard thousands of times before by
rlm@2 155 this very same woman, but all the same they brought an embarrassed
rlm@2 156 blush to the brunette’s cheeks. Most likely, she thought, because she
rlm@2 157 knew they were absolutely true on Tomoyo’s behalf. The tone in her
rlm@2 158 soft, gentle voice sent a trill through Sakura’s mind. There was so
rlm@2 159 much underlying it, so much that she never truly understood yet
rlm@2 160 always made her happy to hear. But what caught her attention was
rlm@2 161 something else entirely. Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes once again looked
rlm@2 162 frozen, out of place with the beautiful smile on her face. It was as
rlm@2 163 if those shining windows had been boarded up to hide something deep
rlm@2 164 inside. Sakura shook her head. It must be her mind playing tricks on
rlm@2 165 her. Now that Tomoyo was leaving, she felt a deep well of sadness
rlm@2 166 inside. She didn’t want Tomoyo to leave. Her presence had made the
rlm@2 167 past few days some of the happiest in Sakura’s life. But knowing that
rlm@2 168 it was all coming to an end made it almost impossible to enjoy what
rlm@2 169 little time they had left together. She didn’t know what to do. The
rlm@2 170 Cardmistress felt so lost and alone now that Tomoyo would be going
rlm@2 171 back to Tomoeda. She needed Tomoyo. She needed to see her smiling
rlm@2 172 face, to hear her loving voice, to feel her gentle embrace, to feel
rlm@2 173 those soft lips... Sakura shook her head, trying to concentrate. She
rlm@2 174 wanted Tomoyo to stay, to know that her best friend would always be
rlm@2 175 there. But she had her own life back home. Like she had said, they
rlm@2 176 had gone down different roads now. This was merely a brief detour.
rlm@2 177 The waitress finally arrived with their food, interrupting both
rlm@2 178 women from their thoughts. “It looks delicious, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo
rlm@2 179 took a small bite of her meal before looking back to Sakura. “Oishi,”
rlm@2 180 she said, smiling at the brunette. Despite all of Hong Kong’s
rlm@2 181 elegance and beauty, Sakura still stood out amongst all of it for
rlm@2 182 Tomoyo. It all paled in comparison to the young Japanese bride that
rlm@2 183 Tomoyo was lucky enough to have the pleasure of calling her best
rlm@2 184 friend. Even sitting across from her with a slightly quizzical look
rlm@2 185 as she tasted a certain cuisine for the first time, she was utterly
rlm@2 186 gorgeous. Tomoyo smiled brighter as she watched Sakura take a sip of
rlm@2 187 her meal. “You can have some of mine if you’d like, Sakura-chan,” the
rlm@2 188 dark haired girl offered.
rlm@2 189 Sakura smiled happily at the offer. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan! Next time
rlm@2 190 I’ll be a little more careful about what I order. It sounded like a
rlm@2 191 good thing.” Her smile turned sheepish as she looked back at her own
rlm@2 192 meal before meeting gazes with Tomoyo again. To her surprise, Tomoyo
rlm@2 193 brought her own chopsticks up to Sakura’s mouth. The brunette blinked
rlm@2 194 for a second before opening her mouth. With delicate precision,
rlm@2 195 Tomoyo fed her the bite of food.
rlm@2 196 “Sakura-chan looks so cute when she’s being fed,” Tomoyo said simply
rlm@2 197 as she took another bite up to Sakura’s mouth. Her eyes seemed to
rlm@2 198 sparkle as she watched the Cardmistress intently, earlier thoughts
rlm@2 199 lost in her current state of bliss that being near Sakura always
rlm@2 200 managed to affect her with. Sakura’s blush faded slowly as she
rlm@2 201 continued to eat from Tomoyo’s chopsticks. The two sat in relative
rlm@2 202 silence, but there wasn’t anything awkward about it. It was pleasant
rlm@2 203 and warm, drowning out the noise that all the other patrons were
rlm@2 204 making. Before long, Tomoyo had fed Sakura all of her plate.
rlm@2 205 Sitting back, Sakura finally realized that she had been leaning
rlm@2 206 forward the entire time. No doubt for Tomoyo to feed her. She felt
rlm@2 207 giddy and bubbly, excited and content all at once. This was
rlm@2 208 wonderful, being here with Tomoyo, spending their time together this
rlm@2 209 way. It felt like they had never been apart. Like it had always been
rlm@2 210 this way, the two of them. Tomoyo had always been there for her, but
rlm@2 211 it felt nice to be alone with her, to be able to concentrate solely
rlm@2 212 on the toy designer for once. On the cute little things she did and
rlm@2 213 said. On the feelings that coursed through her at just being there
rlm@2 214 with her. It was nice to be going out to dinner with her. It was
rlm@2 215 almost like her dates with Syaoran. But it was so different in many
rlm@2 216 aspects. There wasn’t that embarrassing uneasiness that usually went
rlm@2 217 along with her dates or the unsteady silence as she tried to come up
rlm@2 218 with what to say. It just didn’t matter. She didn’t have to say
rlm@2 219 anything at all and it was perfectly all right. Tomoyo’s eyes seemed
rlm@2 220 to be able to read her perfectly. It was a wonderful sensation. And
rlm@2 221 after all of Tomoyo’s trip, it was difficult to think of anything to
rlm@2 222 say that didn’t have to do with their parting soon. So it was a
rlm@2 223 blessing to be able to just cherish their time together. The two
rlm@2 224 women chatted pleasantly about certain things, none of any great
rlm@2 225 significance. It was enough to know that the other was there.
rlm@2 226 After a brief silence, Sakura looked down, struggling to put her
rlm@2 227 feelings into words. Being with Tomoyo had such a tremendous affect
rlm@2 228 on her, as she had recently been aware of, but the flurry of emotions
rlm@2 229 was difficult to pin down. She knew they were of love. A strong and
rlm@2 230 powerful love that swept her off her feet and nearly pulled her along
rlm@2 231 in the cyclone of her feelings. But such a love for her best friend
rlm@2 232 seemed so strange, that it would be so much more encompassing than
rlm@2 233 even her love for her husband. It left her dizzy in its wake, unsure
rlm@2 234 of what to say to the beautiful lavender haired woman. The love that
rlm@2 235 she experienced from Tomoyo felt equally as powerful, though it
rlm@2 236 seemed to have much more direction than Sakura’s own confused
rlm@2 237 feelings. It was all encompassing yet direct at the same time, never
rlm@2 238 leaving her whenever Tomoyo was present. In all that the pale woman
rlm@2 239 did, Sakura could feel that same love that Tomoyo so delicately took
rlm@2 240 care of. Her body shuddered lightly at even the feel of Tomoyo’s hand
rlm@2 241 encompassing her own on the table, the fingers slowly entwining with
rlm@2 242 her own. “Tomoyo-chan,” she began, nervously. “When I’m with you,
rlm@2 243 I... Sometimes I feel like my heart’s pounding in my chest and I feel
rlm@2 244 breathless like I’ve been running for miles even though I’ve been
rlm@2 245 standing still. I feel like... Like there’s magic in the air, like
rlm@2 246 it’s in everything that you touch. I feel so happy when we’re
rlm@2 247 together. Sometimes I feel dizzy, like it’s too much. But then I know
rlm@2 248 that you’ll catch me if I fall. So I’m never afraid. Even when it
rlm@2 249 feels like my heart will burst from too much inside, it just seems to
rlm@2 250 grow and grow. I don’t know how to talk to Syaoran-chan about any of
rlm@2 251 this. But I guess that’s okay. I’ve heard you say things like this
rlm@2 252 before and I think I’m starting to understand them. Not all of it,
rlm@2 253 but some. I just... I’m really glad you’re here.”
rlm@2 254 Tomoyo watched Sakura for a long moment, playing her words over and
rlm@2 255 over again in her head. Sakura almost looked like a scared puppy,
rlm@2 256 unsure of how Tomoyo would react. Tomoyo was still a little surprised
rlm@2 257 herself. The brunette’s words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that
rlm@2 258 Tomoyo was having difficulty writing off the feelings Sakura had
rlm@2 259 expressed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Bringing Sakura’s hand up,
rlm@2 260 she kissed it softly, delicately. “Sakura-chan, you always make me
rlm@2 261 feel very special. You really don’t know how much happiness you have
rlm@2 262 given me over the years. Hearing you say that makes me very glad for
rlm@2 263 the time we’ve been able to spend together. You’re very important to
rlm@2 264 me, Sakura-chan. Hearing what’s in your precious heart is a thrill to
rlm@2 265 me because I’ve always wanted to know that it was beating happily. It
rlm@2 266 sounds like Sakura-chan’s heart is very much like mine.”
rlm@2 267 “But, Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want your heart to burst from all of that
rlm@2 268 love locked up inside of you. Please tell me who has the key. I know
rlm@2 269 that your love for your special someone must be very strong. I don’t
rlm@2 270 know how you can handle it,” Sakura shook her head sadly, her hand
rlm@2 271 still holding onto Tomoyo’s as their eyes met from across the table.
rlm@2 272 Tomoyo just smiled, perhaps a little sadly. Slowly standing up, she
rlm@2 273 brought Sakura up with her. Dinner was done and there was no reason
rlm@2 274 to stay. “Sometimes I wonder if the key is still out there, Sakura-
rlm@2 275 chan. Or maybe it’s already been lost. But it doesn’t matter. The
rlm@2 276 feelings inside of you are happy, aren’t they, Sakura-chan? So are
rlm@2 277 mine. Because when I close my eyes, my special someone is smiling.
rlm@2 278 And it is the most beautiful, shining smile that I have ever seen.”
rlm@2 279 Her eyes never left Sakura as she stood close to the Cardmistress,
rlm@2 280 their hands held. Yes, Sakura’s smile was like the gentle touch of
rlm@2 281 angels. It would forever soothe her aching heart as long as she knew
rlm@2 282 it was there.
rlm@2 283 Sakura sighed, but she quickly brightened visibly. “Would you like
rlm@2 284 to dance, Tomoyo-chan? I think Fanren-chan mentioned a place nearby
rlm@2 285 before we left. I remember you said that you liked to dance, even if
rlm@2 286 you haven’t in a long time. And I know you can’t with your special
rlm@2 287 person, but I’d still be happy to dance with you.”
rlm@2 288 A soft giggle came from Tomoyo as she nodded. “I would love to dance
rlm@2 289 with you, Sakura-chan. More than anything. I can’t think of a better
rlm@2 290 way to end the night.” With that, the two made their way quickly out
rlm@2 291 of the restaurant towards a night of dancing.
rlm@2 292
rlm@2 293 The two woman glided across the slightly crowded floor to
rlm@2 294 romantically slow music playing all around them. Tomoyo was currently
rlm@2 295 leading the pair as they began a new dance. Her long, lavender hair
rlm@2 296 swayed around her, moving along with Tomoyo’s own elegant movements.
rlm@2 297 The rest of the dancers hardly seemed to exist for the two friends.
rlm@2 298 How long they had been there remained a mystery, but it didn’t
rlm@2 299 matter. Acknowledging the time would be a step closer to ending the
rlm@2 300 night, and neither was in any hurry for that. So instead they
rlm@2 301 continued to dance, entangled in the almost hypnotic quality the
rlm@2 302 music had as it kept them dancing together.
rlm@2 303 Sakura was not an accomplished dancer by any means, but she had
rlm@2 304 certainly enjoyed whatever chances she had to do so, whether that be
rlm@2 305 with Flower or with her husband. But never had she caught herself
rlm@2 306 enjoying it as much as she did now, Tomoyo’s fluid grace seeming to
rlm@2 307 pull her in further and further. Sakura was much more athletic, but
rlm@2 308 Tomoyo still had a certain elegance to her that always seemed to
rlm@2 309 shine through in such things, whether it be art or singing or even
rlm@2 310 editing videotape. And like everything else, Sakura found herself
rlm@2 311 being dragged along by Tomoyo’s sweet albeit persistent nature. She
rlm@2 312 gave herself up to it, letting it lead where it would. She followed
rlm@2 313 along as Tomoyo continued to slow dance with her, wishing that the
rlm@2 314 song would continue on for just one more minute. That was all she
rlm@2 315 wanted. Just another minute.
rlm@2 316 Once again Tomoyo found herself wishing she had brought her
rlm@2 317 camcorder along for the night’s activities. This was perfect, dancing
rlm@2 318 along with Sakura as the night marched inexorably forward. She had
rlm@2 319 ignored any semblance of a clock, much happier with the seemingly
rlm@2 320 eternal moment they seemed trapped in together. The feel of Sakura
rlm@2 321 near her would linger in her mind long after it was gone, she knew.
rlm@2 322 Sakura’s sweet scent, the way she felt through the soft fabric of her
rlm@2 323 dress, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light while they danced,
rlm@2 324 it would all remain with her. But if only she could have it on
rlm@2 325 videotape! Even asking a complete stranger to videotape the two of
rlm@2 326 them sounded perfectly reasonable at the moment. Then she could watch
rlm@2 327 this tape of their date over and over again when she returned home.
rlm@2 328 Well, their almost date, anyway. But it was close enough. It
rlm@2 329 certainly felt more than romantic enough to the lavender haired girl
rlm@2 330 at any rate, who shifted to let Sakura lead as the next song began.
rlm@2 331 If she could have one wish, it would be to stop time here, to let
rlm@2 332 this moment stretch out for an eternity. She could think of no better
rlm@2 333 way to spend it than in Sakura’s arms, dancing happily with her.
rlm@2 334 Well, perhaps she could think of several others, but they would
rlm@2 335 require far more than a simple wish. For the time being, Tomoyo would
rlm@2 336 be quite content if the music would just roll on forever, allowing
rlm@2 337 her all of that time to be with her beloved. She enjoyed the dancing
rlm@2 338 immensely. It afforded her the chance to not think about anything.
rlm@2 339 Her thoughts were far from the forefront of her mind, leaving only
rlm@2 340 her feelings and Sakura to take up her full attention. There were no
rlm@2 341 words or questions spinning through her mind now. It was only love
rlm@2 342 and joy and the rhythmic moves of dancing as she and Sakura carried
rlm@2 343 on.
rlm@2 344 How long had they been dancing? Sakura had no idea anymore. Nor did
rlm@2 345 she care. The night had been wonderful. Dancing had been a sweet
rlm@2 346 icing on the cake. The Cardmistress smiled to herself as Tomoyo
rlm@2 347 rested her head on her shoulder, their bodies swaying lightly
rlm@2 348 together to the music. Bringing her hand up, Sakura’s fingers lightly
rlm@2 349 brushed through the silken strands, feeling them slip between her
rlm@2 350 fingers. Tomoyo sighed softly against her. It was a happy, contented
rlm@2 351 sound. Sakura’s heart swelled to hear it and she held on tighter to
rlm@2 352 Tomoyo, still moving lightly as the music continued playing. After a
rlm@2 353 brief moment’s hesitation, Sakura brushed some of the dark hair away
rlm@2 354 from one of Tomoyo’s ears. “Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want you to be
rlm@2 355 lonely. You’re so pretty, and kind, and gentle, and loving. You just
rlm@2 356 can’t be alone. I love you too much to see you alone.”
rlm@2 357 “I’m not lonely when I’m with you,” Tomoyo replied softly, snuggling
rlm@2 358 closer against Sakura, her head shifting on the brunette’s shoulder.
rlm@2 359 “When I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter. I’m just so happy
rlm@2 360 that I can be with Sakura-chan that everything else fades into the
rlm@2 361 background. I’m very pleased that you think of me so highly. Hearing
rlm@2 362 you say things like that makes my heart beat faster. I love you,
rlm@2 363 Sakura-chan,” she whispered at last, closing her eyes. Today had been
rlm@2 364 an emotional rollercoaster. No, the entire trip had been. But little
rlm@2 365 moments like this revitalized her, reminding her in a gentle voice
rlm@2 366 that this was exactly why she loved Sakura.
rlm@2 367 “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura whispered in return, holding
rlm@2 368 onto Tomoyo tightly. She didn’t want to let her go. She never wanted
rlm@2 369 to let her go. Never again. It didn’t feel right to be without her.
rlm@2 370 She needed Tomoyo. This feeling, this peaceful feeling that
rlm@2 371 encompassed her body and soul was missing whenever Tomoyo was gone.
rlm@2 372 Her heart begged for the toy designer to stay, but she dared not ask
rlm@2 373 that of her. She couldn’t.
rlm@2 374 Tomoyo giggled again, her voice softly muffled against Sakura’s
rlm@2 375 shoulder. Her dark hair was spilt over Sakura and herself now, her
rlm@2 376 body leaning against Sakura’s. ‘Oh, how I wish that were true. I
rlm@2 377 would give anything to know that with all certainty. I would live my
rlm@2 378 entire life to make you happy, Sakura-chan. I love you so much,’ she
rlm@2 379 thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “I still think my love and your
rlm@2 380 love are different things, Sakura-chan.” This time she left off the
rlm@2 381 offer to explain when she was older. No, there would be no
rlm@2 382 explanation, she had decided. It would only make things more
rlm@2 383 difficult for Sakura. And for herself. Her love was best kept hidden.
rlm@2 384 Even if it did hurt terribly sometimes. But that’s why she would
rlm@2 385 always treasure moments like these.
rlm@2 386 “How can you be sure?” Sakura asked, her voice questioning. She
rlm@2 387 could remember Tomoyo saying that before, but for some reason it was
rlm@2 388 troubling her. Why would their love be any different? Why wouldn’t it
rlm@2 389 be the same? She almost felt surrounded by the feelings in her heart,
rlm@2 390 all of them attached like strings to the woman in her arms.
rlm@2 391 “I’m not so sure sometimes,” Tomoyo whispered back quietly. Her
rlm@2 392 head slowly pulled off of Sakura’s shoulder, her stormy blue eyes
rlm@2 393 shimmering as they met Sakura’s jade orbs. Her fingers gently cupped
rlm@2 394 Sakura’s chin as a phantom of a smile played across her lips. Her
rlm@2 395 whole body ached for the feel of those lips just one more time. For
rlm@2 396 that passionate embrace, for the flood of emotions she had received
rlm@2 397 from Sakura. But her fingers slowly slipped away, falling back to her
rlm@2 398 side. Her head rested once again on Sakura’s shoulder. No, if she was
rlm@2 399 going to fade away, then that memory would be what would burn in her
rlm@2 400 heart forevermore. She would savor that one kiss always. She closed
rlm@2 401 her eyes once more and lost herself in Sakura’s warm embrace.
rlm@2 402 Sakura held her gently, lovingly. She still didn’t understand what
rlm@2 403 the dark haired woman had meant by all that, but right now she didn’t
rlm@2 404 feel like asking her. She just wanted to hold her until the morning
rlm@2 405 came. Maybe it never would. Maybe if she held on tight enough, Tomoyo
rlm@2 406 would never have to leave her side again. After Tomoyo’s visit,
rlm@2 407 returning to life without the gentle presence of the toy designer was
rlm@2 408 utterly inconceivable. Sakura couldn’t imagine life without her, not
rlm@2 409 knowing she was right there, not being able to be with her. Now that
rlm@2 410 she had seen Tomoyo again, she knew what it was that had been missing
rlm@2 411 since she had moved to Hong Kong. Not her family or friends, although
rlm@2 412 she missed them dearly. But Tomoyo herself. The feelings inside her
rlm@2 413 that expanded in joy when they were together, that felt so cold and
rlm@2 414 alone when they were apart, told her this much. Even if she couldn’t
rlm@2 415 quite name it, she knew it to be true.
rlm@2 416 A feeling welled up in Sakura’s anxious heart that she could only
rlm@2 417 vaguely remember feeling quite some time ago. It was a devastating
rlm@2 418 mix of pain, fear, abandonment, and loss all bundled up inside of
rlm@2 419 her. These weren’t the feelings she’d had when Syaoran had left,
rlm@2 420 though she had missed him terribly. These were the feelings she could
rlm@2 421 only remember as if from a dream when her mother had been taken away
rlm@2 422 from her. She had only been three years old at the time, still a
rlm@2 423 young child. But the feelings were as potent as the day she had found
rlm@2 424 out what had happened to her mother. It tore at her heart with a
rlm@2 425 vicious ferocity, like some caged beast that had finally escaped.
rlm@2 426 Sharp claws raked at her soul as tears begin to drip down her cheeks.
rlm@2 427 She held onto Tomoyo tighter, her body shaking ever so slightly. Why
rlm@2 428 was she feeling this way? It wasn’t like Tomoyo was going away for
rlm@2 429 good. She would see her again. They would still write letters and
rlm@2 430 talk on the phone. They would still be best friends forever. But some
rlm@2 431 of what Tomoyo said had been haunting her, refusing to completely
rlm@2 432 leave. Thoughts of an aching void in her life where Tomoyo had once
rlm@2 433 been were teasing her mind. She didn’t want the morning to come. It
rlm@2 434 would come and snatch Tomoyo away from her like the talons of some
rlm@2 435 ancient dragon. And she would be left alone. Yes, she would have her
rlm@2 436 prince. But was that enough? She felt like her heart was being torn
rlm@2 437 asunder in her chest. Choked sobs escaped her lips as she grasped
rlm@2 438 desperately onto her pale friend.
rlm@2 439 A warm tear dropped down onto Tomoyo’s neck, startling her out of
rlm@2 440 the daze she had fallen into. Holding onto Sakura, swaying in the
rlm@2 441 music had brought time to a standstill. There was no tomorrow. There
rlm@2 442 was no yesterday. There was only now. A bright spot in her life that
rlm@2 443 she would forever hold dear the same as she held onto Sakura at that
rlm@2 444 very moment. But Sakura’s shaky sobs quickly brought her back to the
rlm@2 445 slightly crowded dance floor. She was instantly concerned, but part
rlm@2 446 of her knew the problem already. This was it. This was their
rlm@2 447 farewell. Sakura didn’t know it, but this was the last time they
rlm@2 448 would ever see each other. Sakura was a very emotional woman. Parting
rlm@2 449 must be hell for her. Tomoyo knew how painful it was. She couldn’t
rlm@2 450 bear the thought of being away from Sakura anymore than she could
rlm@2 451 quit breathing. She needed Sakura. All of her. She was the lifeblood
rlm@2 452 of Tomoyo’s life. But at the same time, she knew that she had to go.
rlm@2 453 Oh, she could always pack up and move to Hong Kong. Her mother
rlm@2 454 wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would be easy enough. She could
rlm@2 455 stay nearby and visit Sakura every day. But then she would be
rlm@2 456 dangerously close to throwing away all that she had worked for to
rlm@2 457 make Sakura happy. That would risk damaging her marriage to Syaoran
rlm@2 458 if Tomoyo got too involved and also could ruin their friendship if
rlm@2 459 things progressed any further than they already had. She couldn’t
rlm@2 460 risk Sakura’s happiness for her own selfishness. And she also knew
rlm@2 461 that being so close to Sakura, watching her from such a short
rlm@2 462 distance, her heart pounding every second for her, it would kill her.
rlm@2 463 Just as surely as any knife’s blade. That pain would be even worse
rlm@2 464 than never seeing Sakura again. At least if she left, she knew that
rlm@2 465 Sakura’s happiness would be safe and that she would always have her
rlm@2 466 memories. She could live with that. She had to. But staying would be
rlm@2 467 a form of exquisite torture, slowly tugging and battering the cage in
rlm@2 468 her heart. “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered softly, her lithe
rlm@2 469 fingers stroking the other woman’s back through the thin fabric of
rlm@2 470 her dress. Her head lifted off of Sakura’s shoulder, her eyes meeting
rlm@2 471 Sakura’s as she stood pressed against the Cardmistress. Gentle
rlm@2 472 fingers went up over Sakura’s shoulders, up her neck, and along her
rlm@2 473 cheeks, wiping away Sakura’s warm tears. Tomoyo’s kind, loving gaze
rlm@2 474 penetrated Sakura’s emerald green eyes as she continued to wipe her
rlm@2 475 tears away. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. No matter how far apart
rlm@2 476 we are, I’ll always be with you. My heart will always be tied to
rlm@2 477 yours.”
rlm@2 478 The last of her strength crumbling away from her, Sakura clutched
rlm@2 479 onto Tomoyo, sobbing quietly against her. Her heart cried out to her,
rlm@2 480 those feelings returning stronger, more urgent, but she couldn’t make
rlm@2 481 them out. She didn’t understand. It was like her heart was speaking
rlm@2 482 another language. All she knew was that she didn’t want Tomoyo to go
rlm@2 483 away. The world would be too dark a place. Too bland. Too real.
rlm@2 484 Tomoyo added a dreamlike quality to life, one that always enveloped
rlm@2 485 Sakura. Her days would be too normal without Tomoyo’s eccentric
rlm@2 486 activities and her embarrassing remarks. She would be too weak
rlm@2 487 without Tomoyo’s constant affection and support. She had Syaoran to
rlm@2 488 lean on, but Tomoyo made that unnecessary. She brought up a strength
rlm@2 489 and courage inside Sakura that wasn’t there without her. The thought
rlm@2 490 of never seeing Tomoyo again, disappearing from her life as her
rlm@2 491 mother had so long ago again pierced the chaos inside of her. “Please
rlm@2 492 don’t ever leave me, Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura sobbed.
rlm@2 493 Tomoyo froze at Sakura’s words, unable to do much more than hold
rlm@2 494 onto the grief-stricken Cardmistress. It was as if Sakura had heard
rlm@2 495 her thoughts from earlier that night. Words escaped Tomoyo, eluding
rlm@2 496 her tongue as she tried desperately to think. She had never been able
rlm@2 497 to lie to Sakura. It was nearly impossible to her. She could omit
rlm@2 498 details or hide the truth if she thought it would hurt Sakura, but
rlm@2 499 she could never bring herself to lie to the brunette. ‘Sakura-chan,
rlm@2 500 it’s for the best. I have to leave. I have to fade out of your life,’
rlm@2 501 she thought to herself, not daring to speak the words lest they cause
rlm@2 502 even more pain for either of them. Her fingers brushed away still
rlm@2 503 more tears that fell past Sakura’s emerald eyes before pushing away
rlm@2 504 some of Sakura’s hair. The lavender haired woman’s voice was soft and
rlm@2 505 comforting as she gazed deeply into Sakura’s tear stained eyes.
rlm@2 506 “Sakura-chan, please don’t cry. It makes me feel bad to see you so
rlm@2 507 sad. I promise that I’ll always hold you close to my heart. Wherever
rlm@2 508 I am and wherever you are, I’ll always see Sakura-chan when I close
rlm@2 509 my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she continued, her
rlm@2 510 fingers gently stroking through Sakura’s hair. Her heart ached at the
rlm@2 511 sight of Sakura’s tear streaked face. She wanted to take all of that
rlm@2 512 pain in Sakura’s eyes and take it for herself. Seeing Sakura in pain
rlm@2 513 hurt her infinitely worse than her own suffering. “Sakura-chan, I had
rlm@2 514 a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for these golden
rlm@2 515 memories. I will treasure them always, even when I’m looking down on
rlm@2 516 the earth from above. Because nothing could be more beautiful than
rlm@2 517 the moments I’ve spent with you, Sakura-chan. They will always fill
rlm@2 518 my heart with joy when I look back on them. It’s exactly why I always
rlm@2 519 videotaped you. So I could always watch those captured moments of
rlm@2 520 you, so I could hold those little pieces close to my heart. I could
rlm@2 521 never leave you, Sakura-chan. Not completely. I may go back home and
rlm@2 522 things might get busy in your life. But my heart will always be
rlm@2 523 singing to you. Because I’m wrapped up in the ribbons that trail from
rlm@2 524 Sakura-chan’s heart.” A small smile blossomed on her lips as her
rlm@2 525 hands slowly stroked Sakura’s cheeks.
rlm@2 526 Looking back into Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes, Sakura could feel the
rlm@2 527 lightening behind them. It was warm, encompassing, and made her whole
rlm@2 528 being tingle. Her fear and panic began to dissipate. She was still
rlm@2 529 worried about Tomoyo’s trip home, but it felt so far away now. So
rlm@2 530 very far away. “I just want to be with you,” Sakura whispered softly,
rlm@2 531 hugging the nearly frail woman in her arms.
rlm@2 532 “That’s all I want, too, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her fingers
rlm@2 533 trailing past Sakura’s ear. She continued to gaze into Sakura’s eyes
rlm@2 534 lovingly, her free hand going back to rubbing the brunette’s back.
rlm@2 535 “You’ve given me the most wonderful moments in my life. I don’t think
rlm@2 536 I can ever repay you. Sakura-chan, you the most beautiful, genki,
rlm@2 537 sweet, and amazing person that I have ever met. I don’t think I’ll
rlm@2 538 ever know how I was lucky enough to meet you. It’s always been easy
rlm@2 539 for me to see how you could capture hearts with more ease than you
rlm@2 540 can capture Cards.” Her smile grew softly, her dark hair teasing
rlm@2 541 Sakura’s own. “You mean the world to me, Sakura-chan. No matter what
rlm@2 542 happens, just please be happy. Wherever life takes you, I want it to
rlm@2 543 be a spectacular trip for you, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo barely managed to
rlm@2 544 hold up her mask as her mind retread over Sakura’s words, over how
rlm@2 545 scared and worried she had looked. Could she leave Sakura? Could she
rlm@2 546 fade out of her life? She knew she had to, for both of their sakes,
rlm@2 547 but could she really bring herself to? Especially when she could see
rlm@2 548 so clearly into those beautiful emerald jewels? A part of her told
rlm@2 549 her that she had been wrong, that she had been blinded by her belief
rlm@2 550 that she couldn’t make Sakura happy, that Sakura needed her every bit
rlm@2 551 as much as she needed Sakura. That thought frightened her deeply.
rlm@2 552 Because if it was right, then what had she done by helping to get
rlm@2 553 Sakura with Syaoran?
rlm@2 554 “But I want you to be happy, Tomoyo-chan. Why can’t we both be
rlm@2 555 happy?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. She sounded much calmer now,
rlm@2 556 almost relaxed in their shared embrace. This whole thing was like a
rlm@2 557 riddle. It was stuck in her brain but she couldn’t quite make sense
rlm@2 558 of it. Though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. Tomoyo’s
rlm@2 559 special person was so lucky to have the love in Tomoyo’s bound heart.
rlm@2 560 But why couldn’t he just wake up and notice how much she needed him?
rlm@2 561 How hurt her love was making her? Sakura couldn’t understand how
rlm@2 562 anyone could not return Tomoyo’s love with the same impassioned
rlm@2 563 fervor that the dark haired woman herself was capable of. It bathed
rlm@2 564 Sakura in its gentle glow, sheltering her from the cold and
rlm@2 565 loneliness. Again the urgent howl of feelings inside her almost made
rlm@2 566 her jump. It was as if they were struggling to break free. But still,
rlm@2 567 Sakura couldn’t understand. They grew fiercer in her heart, trying
rlm@2 568 desperately to bubble out of the Cardmistress. Tomoyo was the focus
rlm@2 569 of them, she new that. Strong, heated, deep feelings that ran
rlm@2 570 throughout her were boiling in her heart. They were nearly screaming
rlm@2 571 at her. She felt like she only had one chance. But one chance for
rlm@2 572 what?
rlm@2 573 Tomoyo smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She held onto
rlm@2 574 Sakura warmly, her hand still moving from the small of Sakura’s back
rlm@2 575 up to her shoulder blades. “I’m happy as long as Saku...” Sakura cute
rlm@2 576 her off, her lips meeting Tomoyo’s in a delightful peck that took
rlm@2 577 Tomoyo by complete surprise. She had certainly not been expecting
rlm@2 578 that from the brunette. Her own feelings had become such a mystery to
rlm@2 579 her as of late and Sakura’s increased affection ever since her
rlm@2 580 arrival had made things even more difficult for her to decipher. Her
rlm@2 581 pale cheeks darkened as she felt the lips against her own again, this
rlm@2 582 time kissing longer. The young woman pulled her magical best friend
rlm@2 583 into a closer embrace, returning the kiss herself. It tasted sweeter
rlm@2 584 than anything the banquet or the restaurant had to offer. The silky
rlm@2 585 touch of Sakura’s lips was softer than any fabric she had ever
rlm@2 586 handled. It was magical, a brief moment where she got more than just
rlm@2 587 images or momentos of Sakura. She had a piece of her soul.
rlm@2 588 Thinking back on it, Sakura couldn’t say exactly why she had kissed
rlm@2 589 Tomoyo. Only that she had to. That every ounce of her being had been
rlm@2 590 wholeheartedly for the idea and that she had merely carried through
rlm@2 591 with it. The single kiss she and Tomoyo had shared several nights
rlm@2 592 before had been the most powerful kiss Sakura had ever felt in her
rlm@2 593 life. Not for the way Tomoyo kissed, no. Tomoyo’s kisses were
rlm@2 594 delicate, like sweet butterflies, gentle and slow. But it was the way
rlm@2 595 it grasped onto her heart and soul and burned through her with a
rlm@2 596 strength that made her feel truly alive. More alive than she had ever
rlm@2 597 felt in her life. Right there. With Tomoyo. The kiss lengthened,
rlm@2 598 Tomoyo’s petal soft lips parting her own ever so slightly as it
rlm@2 599 continued. Sakura could do nothing but hold tightly onto the dark
rlm@2 600 haired woman, hoping once more that the morning would never come. Her
rlm@2 601 fingers found themselves at home in Tomoyo’s luxurious lavender hair,
rlm@2 602 brushing through the soft curls. “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered as
rlm@2 603 she finally gasped for breath. Her body was nearly shuddering but not
rlm@2 604 from lack of air. Tomoyo’s pale cheeks had reached a beautiful
rlm@2 605 crimson hue that she was sure her own were probably matching at the
rlm@2 606 moment. “Hanyaa...”
rlm@2 607 A musical giggle escaped Tomoyo at that. She was still a little
rlm@2 608 surprised by Sakura’s sudden action, but she was glad for it. If only
rlm@2 609 she could save kisses in her scrapbook as easily as she could store
rlm@2 610 photos. But this was something she was sure her memory would never
rlm@2 611 forget, even if it would be nice to have videotaped the event. It got
rlm@2 612 rid of any doubts she may have had about Sakura’s involvement in the
rlm@2 613 previous kiss. This time there had been no prompting. Sakura was the
rlm@2 614 one who had kissed her. She felt delightedly thrilled at that. Sakura
rlm@2 615 had kissed her. What a wonderful way to bring her last night in Hong
rlm@2 616 Kong to a close. With a kiss from Sakura. Time may not be able to
rlm@2 617 stop on a single moment, but those moments were forever carried
rlm@2 618 forward as long as they were held onto by a loving heart. “Thank you
rlm@2 619 again for everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll never forget any of this.
rlm@2 620 You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could possibly be.”
rlm@2 621 Smiling sweetly, she kissed Sakura’s cheek. A dreamy sigh escaped her
rlm@2 622 lips as she tilted her head to the side. “Sakura-chan is a such a
rlm@2 623 fantastic kisser. So genki.”
rlm@2 624 Sakura felt herself blushing at Tomoyo’s words. But it hardly seemed
rlm@2 625 to matter. She hugged her best friend tightly, feeling fuzzy and
rlm@2 626 peaceful and content again, though her frazzled thoughts still longed
rlm@2 627 for more, to feel those creamy lips again. She shook her head,
rlm@2 628 blushing darker. She had no idea why kissing Tomoyo affected her so
rlm@2 629 deeply, but she loved the way it felt, both during the kiss and in
rlm@2 630 her arms afterwards. If only... Her eyes widened after they finally
rlm@2 631 fell upon her watch. Just how long had they been dancing? “Tomoyo-
rlm@2 632 chan, we need to get home if we’re going to get you packed in time
rlm@2 633 for your flight and if you’re going to get any sleep.”
rlm@2 634 “I can always sleep on the plane, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said sweetly,
rlm@2 635 stroking Sakura’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I want to spend the
rlm@2 636 last of my time with you.” This was it. Her last few hours with
rlm@2 637 Sakura. She wanted to do anything but sleep at the moment, her heart
rlm@2 638 racing as she enjoyed the close proximity to her friend. All she
rlm@2 639 wanted was to be with Sakura for as long as she could. To be with her
rlm@2 640 Cardmistress until she was finally pulled away. Her eyes sparkled as
rlm@2 641 she watched Sakura, each gentle caress whispering her love to the
rlm@2 642 brunette.
rlm@2 643 Sakura hugged Tomoyo tightly and nodded. Sleep seemed to be the
rlm@2 644 furthest thing from her mind as well. She had finally gotten Tomoyo
rlm@2 645 up to Hong Kong and she wanted to hold onto her forever. “Would you
rlm@2 646 like to dance again?” Sakura asked curiously.
rlm@2 647 “With all my heart, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered in reply, her
rlm@2 648 eyes never leaving Sakura’s. There was only now. And in this now,
rlm@2 649 there was only herself and Sakura. Tomorrow could wait.
rlm@2 650