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2 Hi everyone! ^-^ I wrote this in less than an hour over my frustration at all of the
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3 ‘S+S’ and Tomoyo/Eriol fics out there. Poor Tomoyo-chan. ;_; She can’t be
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4 with who she loves so she’s paired off with Eriol just because they’re both
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5 eccentric. *sighs* Anyway, I’m way too overly emotional about the whole
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6 Sakura & Tomoyo thing, and I was in kind of a weird mood anyway, so that’s
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7 where this story comes from. ^-^ I hope you like it!
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8
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9
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10 Love Lies Bleeding
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11 By the Amazoness Duo
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12
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13
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14 As I lie bleeding to death on the cold ground, my last thoughts
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15 automatically travel back to Sakura. Her beautiful face, her sparkling emerald
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16 green eyes, her friendly smile. I could always tell how she was feeling, even if
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17 she didn’t know herself sometimes. I could see it in her eyes. Those eyes told
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18 me everything. They filled me with strength, bolstered my love for her. But they
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19 hurt me in ways she’ll never know. I love her so much, yet… His incessant
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20 agonizing breaths are breaking my concentration. “Li-kun, if you’re going to
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21 die, then could you please be a little quieter? I’m having a hard time
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22 remembering what I got Sakura-chan for her twelfth birthday and her exact
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23 reaction.”
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24
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25 He seems to consider my request before moaning louder. How
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26 inconsiderate. I asked nicely. And wouldn’t he want to think about her in his last
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27 moments as well? “This is all your fault...” he says after a moment, glaring
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28 pointedly at me. At least, I assume he is. I can’t really see him very well from
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29 where I am and my vision’s starting to go dark. I can almost see her in the
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30 darkness, as if she’s waiting for me. Oh, Sakura-chan... You’re always so sweet.
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31 I’m so lucky to have... I cut off again as he reiterates how much this is my fault.
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32
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33 “I hope Sakura-chan wouldn’t see it that way,” I say simply. Why does
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34 it matter what he thinks so long as she knows? “I hope she knows my video
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35 collection is willed to her.” All of my worldly possessions are willed to her, so
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36 she’d be getting everything anyway. I’m just trying to keep his mind off of
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37 things long enough so we can both die in peace.
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38
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39 Unfortunately, that seems to be the wrong thing to say. “That’s what
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40 started all of this. I never would have noticed the way you look at her if it
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41 weren’t for all of those videos you take. Can’t you let her be happy on her
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42 own?”
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43
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44 I blink back my surprise, or try to, anyway. “What? How I look at her?
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45 I look at her with love because that’s what courses through my heart when I see
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46 her. And of course I want Sakura to be happy. I just know how to make her
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47 happy better than she does. So sometimes she needs a little extra push in the
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48 right direction.” I smile fondly at so many memories before realizing that
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49 smiling hurts far more than it’s worth.
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50
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51 I can hear him trying to drag himself up. If he’s in half as much pain as
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52 I am, he can’t do it. Nope. It sounds like he clattered back to the ground again.
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53 “If you think you know so well, why the hell didn’t you get with her?” he
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54 growls. Though I tried so hard to get him with Sakura, I really wish he didn’t
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55 have such a temper. You’d think he’d be happy after sacrificing my happiness
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56 for her.
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57
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58 “You’re starting to make me wish I did. Then you and Sakura-chan
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59 could still be friends and I could be at home videotaping her right now.” I don’t
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60 mention _what_ I’d be videotaping exactly. Probably her eating dinner. Or
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61 maybe out back practicing her magic. Or maybe just her sleeping cutely. That
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62 would be so sweet. Some of my favorite footage is while she's... Apparently I’m
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63 not allowed to get sidetracked in my thoughts of her because he picked up where
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64 he left off again.
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65
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66 “I didn’t say you couldn’t be friends. I said I never wanted you to see
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67 her again,” Li-kun corrects me. Which is more or less what started this. You see,
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68 one of the things that made Li-kun so good at protecting Sakura also made him
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69 dangerous to all those around her. He never did learn how to work out his
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70 jealousy problems. He tried to burn Sakura’s big brother alive once. Over
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71 Tsukishiro-san if I remember right. I should have known that that would
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72 eventually turn towards me. I’m closer to Sakura than anyone else he knows,
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73 and in some ways I’m closer to her than he is. That doesn’t stop me from
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74 wishing I could be in his place, though. That I could be the one she loves.
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75
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76 But back to the point, we’re here because Li-kun finally noticed that
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77 I’m insanely, horribly, and absolutely in love with Sakura-chan. That my heart
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78 never wavers and my eyes never wander despite the fact that she’s not even
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79 mine. That didn’t go over very well with him, though, and he confronted me
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80 about my feelings for her on the way home while Sakura was out shopping with
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81 Chiharu. He had been too busy arguing and shaking me while I was calmly
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82 trying to explain that Sakura is the light of the entire universe before we got
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83 struck by a passing motorist. The man must have been in quite a hurry because
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84 he didn’t bother to stop and check if we were alright.
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85
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86 “But Li-kun, that’s practically the same thing. And I can’t very well
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87 videotape your wedding and first through fifth children if I can’t be around her.”
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88 Silly boy. So I can’t be away from her. And Sakura will have five children. I’ve
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89 already come up with all of their names. Now how will she know what to name
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90 them or what to wear to her eventual wedding? Or even who to marry? I can’t
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91 leave her yet. She still needs me. Not that I have any reason to live without her,
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92 but I can’t make her sad. I won’t let myself. But it seems like I don’t have much
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93 of a choice. The pain inside seems to intensify and the darkness covers more of
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94 my vision. I don’t feel angry so much as... a great sense of loss. How can I be
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95 taken from her like this? Is this some divine retribution for trying to kill myself a
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96 few weeks ago? Mother stopped me and she has me in therapy now, so there’s
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97 no reason to have me die in the street like this. I won’t try again unless Sakura-
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98 chan doesn’t need me anymore. It makes enough sense to me.
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99
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100 “Besides, aren’t you in love with Eriol?” he asks after a slight pause in
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101 our lovely conversation. Hadn’t Sakura asked me that before? I think everyone
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102 was trying to mentally pair me off with them sense I had no true love interest
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103 that they could see. And because I stalked Sakura. It’s much easier for them if
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104 they think I’m in love with someone else.
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105
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106 “Eccentricity does not mark the trappings of love.”
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107
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108 “What?”
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109
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110 “No, I’m not. And I don’t see how anyone could think I did. He and I
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111 barely even talked when he was here. Sakura-chan is far more captivating than
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112 anyone else I’ve ever met,” I explain. How could I ever not love her? She has
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113 been the single most important aspect of my life from the day I met her till the
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114 day I die. Which will most likely be today. So in that case, for all eternity. I’ll
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115 always love her, even if I can’t be there for her.
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116
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117 “Yeah, but you’re both...”
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118
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119 “Messed up?” I supply.
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120
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121 “Yeah.”
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122
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123 We sit in awkward silence for a long moment, pain gripping my
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124 shattered body. Silken dark gray hair lies pooled on the floor, a stark reminder of
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125 the blood under me. I think my legs are broken and definitely some ribs. I’m
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126 having a hard time breathing. Little droplets of red mixes in with the darkness
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127 randomly as blood drips into my eyes. But none of this compares to the pain in
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128 my heart at the thought of being torn away from her so violently. Not so much
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129 for my own sake because I have nothing left to live for, but for hers. I know that
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130 this will hurt Sakura dearly. She needs someone to help her through this, but Li-
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131 kun and I will both be gone. Poor Sakura-chan will be all alone. I can’t bear the
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132 thought of her pretty face streaked with tears.
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133
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134 “Why didn’t you just tell her? You could have snagged her from me
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135 during those years I was gone.” His voice sounds defeated, pained.
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136
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137 “Because I wanted her to be happy. When I was little, I used to think I
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138 could do that. But after you showed up and then Eriol started testing her, I
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139 wasn’t so sure anymore. I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t give her a child. She
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140 might not even be able to love me.” My voice breaks at the last of it. That fear
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141 has ridden along in my heart nearly as long as I’ve known her. It’s safer to love
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142 her from afar, to watch from somewhere else. “You seemed to make her happy
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143 and you obviously loved her almost as much as I did.” Which is a lie. He’d
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144 shown the same affection to Yukito. He seemed just fine transferring his
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145 feelings to Sakura. But I was starting to get desperate to play matchmaker for
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146 her lest someone else get in the way. “I thought you were the best possible
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147 candidate for Sakura’s love and I wanted to do all I could to make her happy.”
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148 That is the truth. That’s what I’ve wanted ever since she first smiled at me in
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149 class all those years ago. I knew then as I know now that I would do anything,
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150 _anything_ to make her happy.
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151
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152 Another odd silence answers me as he lies there. “I would have.
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153 Sometimes things were tough and she always ran to you with her problems.” He
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154 sounds a bit resentful of that. Is that what this is really all about? He was
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155 worried that I was more important to Sakura? I almost laugh, hurting myself
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156 more in the process. The taste of blood is almost sickening now. I could only
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157 wish I was as important to her as he was. “But I would have made her happy.”
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158
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159 “I believe you, Li-kun. There’s no doubt in my mind. That’s why I
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160 wanted you to be with her. She deserves to be happy.” Nothing but the sound of
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161 birds greets our ears for the longest time as we both wait to die. Does it usually
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162 take this long? My only condolences are that I’ll be able to speak with whatever
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163 wondrous being created the beauty that is Sakura and that hopefully they will let
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164 me watch her as I never have been able to before. Touya did used to speak of
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165 seeing his mother. Maybe I could come back and watch over Sakura, even if she
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166 couldn’t see me. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting her. “Li-kun, I
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167 promise if I make it out of this alive that I will make Sakura-chan happy.”
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168
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169 He doesn’t seem to know how to reply, but I can only guess that he’s
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170 happy with my proclamation. I am, of course, wrong. “What? What makes you
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171 think you’re going to live? If either of us lives, it’s going to be me. Why would a
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172 fragile little rich girl survive that?”
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173
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174 “Well, I’m only stating it as a ‘just in case’. So you’ll know she’ll be in
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175 good hands in case I survive and you don’t. Besides, I already know that’s what
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176 you’d do in the event that I die.” My resolve is much stronger than it’s ever
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177 been. I’ll take care of her as best I can. I’ll love her like no one else ever could. I
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178 will make her happy. I wish I had this type of strength back when my life
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179 expectancy was higher. It might have come in more useful.
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180
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181 “Yeah, but that’s because she’s my girlfriend.” I wait for him to
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182 continue, but apparently that was explanation enough. I shrug it off.
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183
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184 It sure is dark. I feel like I’m falling asleep. “I wonder what Sakura-
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185 chan’s doing right now.”
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