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1 Dear Sakura
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2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
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3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
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5
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6 Waiting for the taxi to take him to the airport, Syaoran worked up
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7 the courage to tell his mother about the trip. Since he was a small
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8 child, the Illustrious Head of the August House of Li had frightened
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9 him. He grew up secretly envious of his sisters, whom Ieran indulged
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10 extravagantly. His portion of love seemed meager and sparse, and
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11 nothing he did could satisfy or please her. Her training in the
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12 martial and magical arts was harsh and exacting. Though not so
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13 thorough as to enable him to beat his cousin, he thought through his
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14 pain with a wince. Once he had asked her in tears why she was so mean
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15 to him. For a brief instant he saw her face soften with pity, but
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16 then the aloof and impassive countenance returned. She told him he
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17 was the successor to the House of Li, the most noble and powerful
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18 family in all of Hong Kong. Therefore, he must be strong, or the
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19 House would suffer when he rose to lead it. At first he had hated the
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20 training, and the pain, and the constant sense that what he did was
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21 never quite enough. Why couldn't he be like his sisters, enjoying
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22 the tender affection of a Mother, instead of a scorned and neglected
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23 son? In the end, he realized that only by measuring up to her lofty
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24 standards could he please her, and win her love. So, he dedicated his
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25 young life to perfecting the requisite skills to become the most
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26 powerful of sorcerers. When she sent him to Japan to investigate the
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27 presence of Clow Reed's long lost cards, he went determined to
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28 succeed. But did not. He had failed.
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29
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30 Looking at the bed he shared with his wife, he felt a spasm of pure
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31 anger. She had bested him, capturing the Cards with ridiculous ease.
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32 A girl. A Japanese schoolgirl had turned out to be the successor to
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33 the mightiest magician in the entire world. Nearly overmastered by
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34 his fear of failure, he dreaded returning to Hong Kong. But instead
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35 of rage he met indifference, as if she regarded the turn of events as
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36 unsurprising and trivial. Indeed, when the girl showed up in Hong
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37 Kong his mother treated her as an honored guest, even bestowing a
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38 farewell kiss. It shocked and irritated him, but he knew enough to
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39 see that his mother now recognized the girl as Mistress of the Cards.
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40 Before leaving again for Japan, he asked her why she had conceded so
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41 much to such a silly girl. She looked at him with a rare fury, and
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42 for a moment he thought she would actually strike him. Angrily she
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43 told him never again to show such disrespect to the Mistress of the
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44 Cards. He was fortunate beyond his worth to act as her servant, she
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45 said, and from now on should remember his proper place. Crushed at
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46 first, he came to accept his role as Sakura's helper, and even found
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47 himself attracted to the girl. His love for the mysterious, fair-
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48 haired Yukito waned as he and Sakura captured and transmuted the
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49 Cards. The more the two Cardcaptors were together, the stronger his
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50 love waxed. It pleased him that she accepted his help, and he gloried
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51 in the knowledge that without him she would have failed time and
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52 again. It was obvious she needed him, and her frantic race to deliver
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53 the teddy bear before he flew back to Hong Kong showed her love as
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54 well.
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55
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56 As love grew across the distance, he felt for the first time in his
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57 life the power he had always desired. Unlike his mother, Meiling, or
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58 even his teasing older sisters, Sakura depended on him. Yet it wasn't
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59 until the Daidouji girl mentioned marriage that the thought of making
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60 her his wife occurred to him. She was right, of course, for they were
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61 meant to be together. With that, the Mistress of the Cards was his,
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62 and everything came full circle. This marriage was right, despite
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63 what Meiling and their Grandfather and even his Mother thought. H had
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64 captured the heart of Clow Reed's successor. This was the mark of his
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65 true power. Of course, it had still been, well, difficult to break
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66 the news to his Mother. Thus, the marriage took place in Japan, with
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67 no notice given to his own kin. After a month's honeymoon, he
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68 returned to Hong Kong to face his Mother's wrath. Surprisingly, she
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69 showed no sign of anger; seemingly regarding what was done as done.
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70 She treated Sakura with the same cold aloofness as her son, which
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71 was, he thought, a fitting and proper relationship for a mother-in-
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72 law and her unworthy daughter-in-law. All seemed well until that
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73 meddlesome Daidouji girl had come and upset everything. The
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74 nondescript girl was at everyone's center of attention, and even
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75 merited a grander banquet than his own bride. Not that his clueless
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76 spouse would care about such things, he brooded. When he asked his
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77 sister why Mother had put on such a splendid banquet for some little
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78 rich girl from Japan, Fanren looked at him with a shocked contempt he
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79 had never seen her show. She said that Mother had done a long and
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80 complex water prophecy, and that the woman was of overwhelming
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81 importance to the House of Li. She asked him sharply that if Mother
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82 had so determined, did he think she deserved any less? He snorted his
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83 derision, remaining baffled by his family's treatment of a mere
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84 friend of his wife. But now he wondered about her importance, because
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85 it seemed she was at the root of his flighty wife's sudden
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86 disappearance. That would cast her in a new light entirely, for
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87 whoever stood in the way of the Heir to the House of Li was an enemy
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88 to be struck down without mercy.
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89
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90 The righteous anger he had worked up vanished like a morning mist as
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91 he stood on the threshold of his Mother's study. Swallowing his fear
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92 as best he could, he knocked softly. After informing the idiotic
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93 flying teddy bear that he had to tell his Mother he was leaving, the
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94 so-called Beast of the Seal laughingly promised to rescue him if he
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95 didn’t return in half an hour. From deep within he heard his mother's
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96 silken, iron voice answer his knock,
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97
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98 "Come in."
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99
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100 Syaoran entered, eyes adjusting to the dim candlelight that
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101 illuminated the windowless room. She was hunched over a yellowed
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102 scroll etched in odd, shimmering characters. He felt his stomach
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103 tighten with the realization he was interrupting her research.
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104 Clearing his throat, he managed to stammer out,
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105
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106 "Sakura is gone."
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107
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108 His Mother slowly turned to face him, taking off a pair of delicate
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109 spectacles as she carefully regarded him. In a calm, quiet voice that
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110 demanded attention, she asked, "What do you mean, gone?"
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111
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112 He looked at the floor, feeling the helplessness of childhood wash
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113 over him again. Trying to sound like a concerned husband baffled by a
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114 hopeless wife, he answered, "I don't know for sure, but I think she
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115 went back to Japan. I think it has something to do with the Daidouji
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116 girl."
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117
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118 He peeked up and saw his Mother smiling at him. Like a snake ready
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119 to strike, he thought, and felt anger and fear at his helplessness.
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120 Smiling, she purred,
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121
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122 "Yes, I know."
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123
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124 Startled, he blurted out, "Then why didn't you tell me? Why did she
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125 go like that?"
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126
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127 Gazing at him like a long-suffering teacher with a particularly
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128 dense pupil, she replied flatly, "As for the latter, I don't know,
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129 exactly. As for why I didn't tell you, it is for the good of the
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130 House that you not interfere. And for your good, too, for that
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131 matter."
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132
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133 His anger overmastered his caution, and in a demanding voice he shot
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134 back, "How can she do this to me? She can't leave me like this."
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135
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136 His Mother regarded him silently, letting his anger surge, and then
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137 dissipate, leaving him flustered and faintly ridiculous. She spoke in
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138 a neutral tone, again the patient teacher, "Syaoran, she should never
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139 have been here in the first place. If that woman can undo the damage
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140 you have wrought, a thousand banquets would not suffice for my
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141 gratitude."
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142
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143 Syaoran starred with wide eyes and open mouth. Utterly at a loss for
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144 words, he slumped into the nearest chair, forgetting the etiquette of
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145 standing in the presence of the Head of the House. Had he not been so
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146 stunned, the trembling young man might have detected a trace of pity
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147 in her voice as she continued,
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148
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149 "You thought you never asked for my permission to wed because I
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150 would have said no, as indeed I would have. But you yourself also
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151 knew it was wrong, or you would have stood up to me for what was
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152 right. That is how I raised you, and for all your flaws that is how
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153 you are. Your courage comes from doing what is right, but you married
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154 secretly, like a coward. That in itself doomed you both, but it was
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155 even worse than that. You were graced by fortune to be servant to the
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156 Mistress of the Cards. For someone of your meager strength, that was
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157 a far better portion than you deserved. But you wanted more. You
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158 lusted for power you could not have. That explains your attraction to
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159 Yue in his false form, and your selfish desire to make Clow Reed’s
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160 noble successor your humble wife. All this without a single thought
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161 of the consequences for her, or this House, or even yourself. It is
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162 said there is nothing more dangerous than a weak fool. You have
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163 proved the sage wise by your reckless actions."
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164
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165 Syaoran burned with humiliation at his Mother's words. He stared at
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166 the floor, and replied in a voice laced with anger, "She loves me.
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167 And I love her."
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168
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169 The cold fury of his Mother's rejoinder shook him, "Don't speak to
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170 me of 'love'. You have no conception of what you are saying. Sakura
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171 loves everyone. That is her nature. But you love her power, not her.
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172 That “Daidouji girl”, as you call her, could teach you a lesson in
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173 what real love is. She cheerfully sacrificed her life for the one she
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174 loves. What did you sacrifice? Like a greedy miser, you could only
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175 take what you longed for, without a thought or care for anyone but
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176 yourself."
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177
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178 Ieran sighed, feeling the mounting weight of years and
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179 responsibilities. Her whispery voice was almost plaintive, "Why
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180 didn't you ask me? You at least owed me that much, though perhaps it
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181 would not have mattered in the end. How can a blind man see the cliff
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182 that approaches?'
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183
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184 The two sat silent in the near dark for several long minutes.
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185 Syaoran fought back tears as he finally whispered, "I know she loves
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186 me."
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187
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188 Ieran's voice was surprisingly gentle, "Pray that she knows her
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189 heart at last, and that it is not to late for all of us."
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190
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191 Watching her son carefully, the woman rose and walked lightly to the
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192 door, locking it with a heavy metallic chungk. Striding to the center
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193 of the room, she stood in front of a golden bowl filled with water.
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194 Gesturing for her son to stand by the bowl across from her, she
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195 softly began to sing and chant. Syaoran, recognizing the words of a
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196 powerful and dangerous spell, felt a ripple of fear as his Mother
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197 waved her hands above the shimmering surface. The bowl began to
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198 vibrate and sing in odd harmony with her voice. The young man stood
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199 silent, in awe of the magic that billowed through the room. He felt
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200 an odd metallic tang in his mouth, and caught an overripe scent of
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201 something both sweet and foul. His eyes made out vague shapes in the
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202 water, flickering images like projections on a liquid movie screen.
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203 He strained to see the figures as they coalesced, and was startled to
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204 see Sakura dressed all in white, like mourner. Her sudden wailing
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205 chilled him, as if she were some mindless animal in agony. Like a
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206 madwoman she beat her hands bloody on a dark gravestone, and then he
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207 saw himself pulling her away as she keened and sobbed. The image
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208 shifted and blurred, and next he saw the Card Mistress dressed in an
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209 odd, half-finished costume, like that girl used to sew for her. The
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210 Cards danced about her, chained with iron, howling in pain as she
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211 swept the air with her staff. The staff had become a monstrous
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212 scythe, fiery and alive, infused with a cruel and vengeful will. Her
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213 magic roiled and blossomed in an obscene wave of sheer power. The
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214 emerald eyes were blank and dull, but amidst the terrible storm he
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215 heard her lifeless voice,
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216
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217 "Bring her back to me."
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218
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219 This vision swiftly gave way to a horrifying vista of destruction,
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220 as the house he had grown up in was torn apart by the furious
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221 tempest. Soon other buildings were swept into the maelstrom, and the
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222 entire City was consumed in a holocaust of wind and fire. The last
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223 image was a graveyard, stones and bodies torn from the groaning earth
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224 and swept into the throbbing, black sky. He fell back, faint and
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225 sick, staggering to the wall where he slumped to the floor and
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226 cowered in fear. His Mother struggled with the spell, and in a
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227 supreme effort banished the awful images to wherever they had come.
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228 Pale drained, she managed to walk imperiously and confront her son.
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229 Her voice was shaky but still commanding,
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230
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231 "Since your ill-begotten marriage I have lived with this nightmare.
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232 Pray to all the spirits of our illustrious ancestors that it remains
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233 but a dream. Now, leave me."
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234
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235 As her son walked unsteadily out the door, the woman dropped to the
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236 chair and held her head with shaking hands. Blanketed by the
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237 throbbing pain of a merciless headache, her mind was consumed in
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238 black hatred,
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239
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240 "Damn you, Clow Reed. Damn you for all you have done."
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241
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242 Syaoran walked down the hallway, the shock of what he had seen
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243 slowly wearing off. His anger surged anew, fed by a righteous rage at
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244 his abandonment by Sakura, and by the Daidouji woman's stealing her
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245 away. Under his breath the defiant husband resolved,
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246
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247 "I'll bring her back. She loves me. She's mine."
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248
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249 |
