annotate old/stories/dearsakura-13.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights

[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
parents
children
rev   line source
rlm@2 1 Dear Sakura
rlm@2 2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
rlm@2 3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@2 4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
rlm@2 5
rlm@2 6
rlm@2 7 Life is a mixture of good and bad. Delightfully joyous
rlm@2 8 circumstances plagued by the most exquisite pain. Biting cold and
rlm@2 9 burning heart. In some ways, the very talons of sorrow and defeat
rlm@2 10 were what made joy taste all the sweeter to the lips, a fruit that
rlm@2 11 one was lucky to find but was gone all too quickly. While in the
rlm@2 12 shadows, waiting and lurking was the despair, eager to reclaim its
rlm@2 13 prize once delight and happiness had all but faded. Happiness was an
rlm@2 14 escape that faded all too quickly in the dim lights that filled one’s
rlm@2 15 life. That was not to say that they were any less spectacular. It
rlm@2 16 served to make them even more treasured in the hearts of those who
rlm@2 17 knew how rare such things really were. How cherished they should be
rlm@2 18 for simply being there. The sweetest joys were often tinged with the
rlm@2 19 bittersweet aftertaste of sadness. And through it all, life continued
rlm@2 20 it’s inexhaustible march forward. As a lone toy designer waited
rlm@2 21 patiently for the giant metal beast she was riding to make its way
rlm@2 22 back to Japan, her thoughts were filled with musings on her own
rlm@2 23 recent joy and pain.
rlm@2 24 Tomoyo found herself staring into the eyes of the teddy bear that
rlm@2 25 Sakura had made her. It was beautiful, if a little messy. But that
rlm@2 26 was something the dark haired woman loved about it. It was obviously
rlm@2 27 Sakura’s doing. She remembered one time when Sakura had made a yukata
rlm@2 28 for Syaoran. She had spent so long working on it, despite her
rlm@2 29 difficulty with sewing. And even if it hadn’t been the best looking
rlm@2 30 yukata, it had been crafted carefully and delicately with Sakura’s
rlm@2 31 warm and loving heart. Tomoyo understood this all too well. After
rlm@2 32 all, every costume she made and all of the outfits she would sew for
rlm@2 33 the brunette came from the bottom of her heart. The level of one’s
rlm@2 34 skill with thread and needle didn’t matter; it was what lay in one’s
rlm@2 35 heart while creating that truly brought out the beauty within. And
rlm@2 36 Tomoyo saw that reflecting back at her through the violet eyes of the
rlm@2 37 teddy bear she was holding. The bear was pink and white with a large
rlm@2 38 purple bow. It was stained with Tomoyo’s tears as she had held it
rlm@2 39 tightly to her, Sakura’s scent still clinging stubbornly to it.
rlm@2 40 Turning the bear over in her hands, the pale heiress ran her
rlm@2 41 fingers over a small dark patch that she had identified as some of
rlm@2 42 Sakura’s blood. She knew very well that Sakura had difficulty with
rlm@2 43 such tasks and the bandages on her fingers had been testament to
rlm@2 44 this. The thought of Sakura pricking herself while making the bear
rlm@2 45 was both sad and heartwarming at the same time. Knowing that Sakura
rlm@2 46 was in pain, physical or emotional, had always hurt Tomoyo infinitely
rlm@2 47 more than her own pain. Seeing Sakura hurting and knowing that she
rlm@2 48 was helpless to stop it dug into her heart. She would give anything
rlm@2 49 to take all of the brunette’s pain for herself, to suffer with all of
rlm@2 50 it if only it meant that Sakura would no longer feel it’s heavy
rlm@2 51 burden. But knowing that despite hurting herself, Sakura had
rlm@2 52 continued to pour her genki heart out into the teddy bear almost left
rlm@2 53 Tomoyo breathless. Surely she wasn’t worthy of such shining devotion.
rlm@2 54 It made the bear in her arms a truly wonderful gift, one that came
rlm@2 55 from the deep spring of love that Tomoyo had nearly tumbled into
rlm@2 56 during her visit. And just like in real water, she couldn’t swim in
rlm@2 57 it. She had found herself floundering, awash in the waves of
rlm@2 58 confusion that kept pushing her under. But that was one sea that she
rlm@2 59 would have been happy to drown in, the deep ocean of Sakura’s love.
rlm@2 60 Her fingers passed once more over the small dried patch of blood, a
rlm@2 61 small sacrifice from Sakura that left itself as a tiny badge on the
rlm@2 62 bear.
rlm@2 63 Sakura. That’s what she had named the bear. The name had flown into
rlm@2 64 her mind the instant she had received it. After all, you were
rlm@2 65 supposed to name your teddy bear after the one you loved. If you were
rlm@2 66 lucky, it meant that they would fall in love with you as well. Tomoyo
rlm@2 67 had explained that to Sakura years earlier. Sakura had been about to
rlm@2 68 make one for Yukito when she asked why Tomoyo wasn’t making a bear
rlm@2 69 for her special someone. The dark haired woman had replied that she
rlm@2 70 only wanted the one she loved to be happy. But she had wanted so
rlm@2 71 dearly to make a bear for Sakura, to give it to her along with her
rlm@2 72 love. Instead, she had sat by while Syaoran made one for Sakura and
rlm@2 73 Sakura eventually gave hers to the Chinese boy. She had never made a
rlm@2 74 bear for anyone and she found herself regretting that. Even if Sakura
rlm@2 75 hadn’t been able to understand, even if she had never known why,
rlm@2 76 Tomoyo wished that she had been able to make one for her beautiful
rlm@2 77 friend. But her love had to be locked away, unable to come forth in
rlm@2 78 such an obvious display. Not that she hadn’t been obvious enough at
rlm@2 79 other times, now that she thought about it, but after explaining the
rlm@2 80 bear in relation to her special someone, even dense Sakura would have
rlm@2 81 been able to figure out that she was the one who held Tomoyo’s heart
rlm@2 82 by strings. And up till now she had never received a teddy bear. Not
rlm@2 83 that she had minded at all. Just like the boys she had turned down in
rlm@2 84 high school when they had asked for dates, it just didn’t matter. Her
rlm@2 85 one, true love was the only one in her heart. She was all right if
rlm@2 86 that meant never getting flowers, or teddy bears, or chocolates as
rlm@2 87 tokens of love. She could be happy as long as she knew her true love
rlm@2 88 was. Even if she wasn’t with her.
rlm@2 89 But now Sakura had gone back and made her a teddy bear, something
rlm@2 90 that Tomoyo had long given up on back in her youth. The gesture had
rlm@2 91 surprised and amazed her. It was supposed to be from her special
rlm@2 92 someone, Sakura had said. It _was_ from her special someone. It was a
rlm@2 93 gift that she had never even allowed herself to hope for. The very
rlm@2 94 thought that Sakura had made it specifically for her, that she had
rlm@2 95 given her such an incredible gift was almost too much to handle. She
rlm@2 96 hoped that Sakura would find her final costume soon after she left.
rlm@2 97 She had left it on the bed in the small room she had occupied. It was
rlm@2 98 still unfinished, but she wanted Sakura to have it regardless. She
rlm@2 99 didn’t think she would make another costume after the wedding dress,
rlm@2 100 so she would leave it unfinished for Sakura to do with as she pleased.
rlm@2 101 Hugging the bear closer, Tomoyo hardly seemed to notice the
rlm@2 102 turbulence that suddenly began to buffet the plane. Such things were
rlm@2 103 trivial and didn’t matter much to her in her current frame of mind.
rlm@2 104 Part of her cried out, hoping that the plane would crash into the
rlm@2 105 waves beneath them, slipping into the rough waters below. It would be
rlm@2 106 a fitting end to her visit. The image of herself still strapped to
rlm@2 107 her chair, eyes closed serenely, her hair fluttering about in the
rlm@2 108 water as she held the bear beneath the waves entered her mind. She
rlm@2 109 took the thoughts in stride, the dark imagery failing to worry her.
rlm@2 110 If she were to die in such a way, then she would be happy. She would
rlm@2 111 have seen her darling Sakura one last time in life and would be ready
rlm@2 112 to fade from her life. But her mother was still waiting for her back
rlm@2 113 home and Sakura would undoubtedly hear about such a disaster. No, she
rlm@2 114 would have to find a quieter way to slip out of Sakura’s life. She
rlm@2 115 knew that she had to fade away. And soon. This trip had been a
rlm@2 116 blessing, but it had frightened her at times. Her continued presence
rlm@2 117 in Sakura’s life could have drastic consequences if Sakura were to
rlm@2 118 ever discover who her special someone was. The love that she had felt
rlm@2 119 from Sakura had been intoxicating, wrapping around her like silk
rlm@2 120 spider webs, unable and unwilling to get free from their hold. But if
rlm@2 121 that love were to continue developing, it could be disastrous not
rlm@2 122 only for Sakura’s marriage, but her entire new life as well. It was
rlm@2 123 too dangerous. And far too painful. Being so close to Sakura, feeling
rlm@2 124 the warmth in her heart, it was maddening for Tomoyo. So close yet so
rlm@2 125 far. She knew that she could never be with the smiling brunette,
rlm@2 126 could never love her the way she wanted to. Being so close was an
rlm@2 127 exquisitely delightful torture, giving her secret thrills at sharing
rlm@2 128 so much with Sakura, but with a heavy undercurrent of frozen icicles
rlm@2 129 of pain slashing mercilessly at her heart. Her masks had become
rlm@2 130 ineffectual, leaving her completely defenseless in Sakura’s presence.
rlm@2 131 Watching Sakura’s marriage so closely, never being able to truly be a
rlm@2 132 part of Sakura’s happiness, it would quickly destroy her. She was
rlm@2 133 already broken. Tomoyo knew that. The cracks were becoming evident in
rlm@2 134 her surface, the underlying structure starting to buckle. She would
rlm@2 135 not last much longer in Sakura’s life, especially after the moments
rlm@2 136 they had shared. The pain, the loneliness would quickly consume her.
rlm@2 137 Watching Sakura and smiling, trying so hard to pretend that she was
rlm@2 138 all right, she couldn’t keep it up anymore. She was tired. Oh, so
rlm@2 139 tired. Her masks lay heavy on her shoulders and she could no longer
rlm@2 140 work up the will to wear them as she once had. Yet she would continue
rlm@2 141 to as well as she could for Sakura’s sake… until she could fade away.
rlm@2 142 She was nothing more than a specter from Sakura’s past. It was about
rlm@2 143 time that she made her exit.
rlm@2 144 Her current train of thought sent fresh tears streaming down her
rlm@2 145 ivory cheeks, falling helplessly to the teddy bear in her arms. She
rlm@2 146 didn’t want to leave Sakura. She didn’t want to fade out of her life.
rlm@2 147 After this trip, all she wanted was to be with her, to hold on to the
rlm@2 148 woman she loved with all of her heart. But she knew she couldn’t. And
rlm@2 149 she wouldn’t last much longer in Sakura’s life. Her pain had built up
rlm@2 150 intensely inside of her for years now, growing steadily as she kept
rlm@2 151 it all inside, never once showing her friend the torment in her
rlm@2 152 heart. And it was rapidly becoming too much for her. Staying in
rlm@2 153 Sakura’s life was making it grow stronger, the longing for Sakura
rlm@2 154 becoming more painful, the pain as she watched Sakura’s marriage even
rlm@2 155 more acute. She had to fade away. For herself and for Sakura. It was
rlm@2 156 the only way. Staying would only bring more heartache and pain. There
rlm@2 157 was still a chance that she could survive with only her memories of
rlm@2 158 Sakura. Her mother had lasted all these years with memories of
rlm@2 159 Nadeshiko. Perhaps she could do the same. The pain would never lessen
rlm@2 160 in her heart and her love would never fade in the slightest, but she
rlm@2 161 would know that Sakura was happy and that she was only a distant
rlm@2 162 memory to her. No matter how much that hurt Tomoyo, she knew it was
rlm@2 163 quickly becoming the only way out.
rlm@2 164 Wiping her tears away with shaking fingers, Tomoyo smiled softly
rlm@2 165 and politely turned down a flight attendants offer of help. Looking
rlm@2 166 out the small window near her seat, the dark haired woman watched the
rlm@2 167 clouds beneath them. The sun gleamed brightly from behind them,
rlm@2 168 coloring the sky in beautiful oranges and pinks as it slowly began to
rlm@2 169 fade away. “The sun is the most beautiful before it disappears,”
rlm@2 170 Tomoyo whispered softly to the teddy bear. “That is what this trip
rlm@2 171 was for. My beautiful memories of Sakura-chan before I fade away. At
rlm@2 172 least we got to be together one last time. I’ll always cherish those
rlm@2 173 memories and the time we spent together.” A soft smile crossed her
rlm@2 174 lips. It was a heartfelt smile. Yes, this would be the last time she
rlm@2 175 would see Sakura, but like the setting sun, it was gorgeous. Tomoyo
rlm@2 176 had no regrets about the trip or her time spent with Sakura. It had
rlm@2 177 been a beautiful gift that was bestowed upon her and she thanked
rlm@2 178 whoever it was that had blessed her with Sakura’s friendship in the
rlm@2 179 first place for the wonderful memories that would always be etched
rlm@2 180 into her soul. Every second with Sakura had reminded her of just how
rlm@2 181 much she loved the brunette. It had shown her once again that all she
rlm@2 182 really wanted was for Sakura to be happy. Each magical moment had
rlm@2 183 been like the sweetest dream, even down to their parting. It had been
rlm@2 184 terribly painful to leave Sakura. Her legs had nearly refused to take
rlm@2 185 her away from the other woman. But even then, Sakura’s gift had
rlm@2 186 shined through the darkness of the moment. It had been as if Sakura
rlm@2 187 had wrapped her battered heart gently in a soft quilt, cradling it
rlm@2 188 from the pain. Yes, she would always treasure this trip and the
rlm@2 189 pieces of Sakura’s heart that she held close to her own. When they
rlm@2 190 were together, it had felt like all of the pieces to the puzzle had
rlm@2 191 been brought together. Sakura had fit all of the missing pieces in
rlm@2 192 her heart and soul. Tomoyo had felt complete. The loneliness was
rlm@2 193 gone, the void in her heart was answered. She felt happy when she was
rlm@2 194 with Sakura. Even if she couldn’t be the one to make Sakura happy,
rlm@2 195 Sakura certainly was the one who made her happy.
rlm@2 196 “I could never thank you enough for this trip, Sakura-chan. It was
rlm@2 197 the most wonderful time of my life. Being with you must be a glimpse
rlm@2 198 of Heaven,” Tomoyo whispered as she held the teddy bear in her lap.
rlm@2 199 For a moment, she saw it as her own child, coming with her on some
rlm@2 200 business trip. Is that what would happen? Would she find herself with
rlm@2 201 a child to ease her loneliness and to try to fill the void in her
rlm@2 202 life as her mother had? She knew that her mother had been happy to
rlm@2 203 have her, Tomoyo’s young life giving her own meaning. The idea was
rlm@2 204 very tempting, to raise a child of her own. Perhaps she could even
rlm@2 205 convince Touya to supply the sperm for the child. She could get a
rlm@2 206 very skilled doctor for the procedure. After all, she didn’t need to
rlm@2 207 be with anyone to have a child. There were other procedures for that.
rlm@2 208 In Vitro-Fertilization. And if half of it was coming from Touya, then
rlm@2 209 it would be very close to the child she and Sakura would have had
rlm@2 210 they been able to conceive one. A faint smile crossed her lips at the
rlm@2 211 thought, images of Sakura in boys’ clothes once again filling her
rlm@2 212 mind. A cute little girl. A child all her own. Yes, she’d have to
rlm@2 213 look into it. She held the teddy bear closer.
rlm@2 214 The entire trip had left her small and relatively weak body
rlm@2 215 exhausted, but sleep seemed light years away. Tomoyo’s mind was far
rlm@2 216 too consumed by the trip itself and it’s implications to worry about
rlm@2 217 such things as sleep. It had fulfilled one of her fondest dreams, to
rlm@2 218 kiss Sakura with all of the love she could muster. And even more
rlm@2 219 surprisingly, Sakura had returned it with a fervor she never would
rlm@2 220 have imagined in the brunette. It had been a magical, fairy tale like
rlm@2 221 kiss and that alone stood out as a symbol in her mind of the
rlm@2 222 affection Sakura had showered upon her during her visit. She still
rlm@2 223 found herself confused by it, but now there was nothing she could do
rlm@2 224 about it. She would soon be back home in Japan, far away from the
rlm@2 225 beautiful bride and her sweet and soul stirring kisses. But it left
rlm@2 226 Tomoyo a little uneasy. Behind the confusion surrounding Sakura’s
rlm@2 227 love, she saw something that resembled her own love remarkably. Like
rlm@2 228 a crystal clear mirror, it seemed to reflect her own love, beaming
rlm@2 229 from within Sakura. As if the Red String of Fate that was heavily
rlm@2 230 knotted around her heart also tugged at Sakura’s. This gave Tomoyo
rlm@2 231 pause, considering Sakura’s words on the night before she left. Even
rlm@2 232 Sakura’s confession had sounded like one confessing a secret love.
rlm@2 233 More than anything, she wanted to take that love and nurture it with
rlm@2 234 her own, delighting in its shimmering radiance.
rlm@2 235 Tomoyo wasn’t used to being confused. In fact, she very rarely was.
rlm@2 236 Her mother loved her dearly, but she was gone often with her work so
rlm@2 237 Tomoyo had relied heavily on her keen perception of people and their
rlm@2 238 hearts for most of her life which is why she was having such a
rlm@2 239 difficult time lying to herself that Sakura’s love was anything else.
rlm@2 240 Tomoyo was a terrible liar, especially to herself. But if it was
rlm@2 241 love, then what could she do? She had already wasted her chance to be
rlm@2 242 with Sakura. Sakura was already married and in a new life. She
rlm@2 243 couldn’t interfere. She just wanted Sakura to be happy and getting
rlm@2 244 involved would just make things difficult for the poor magical girl.
rlm@2 245 Her thoughts were finally interrupted by the pilot announcing their
rlm@2 246 descent into Tokyo. Tomoyo was glad for the distraction. She held her
rlm@2 247 teddy bear close as the plane made its way towards the airport below.
rlm@2 248 “I love you, Sakura-chan,” she said out loud, half hoping that it
rlm@2 249 would be heard and answered from across the sea.
rlm@2 250
rlm@2 251 Sonomi Daidouji looked down at her watch impatiently. “It’s been
rlm@2 252 half an hour. What if something’s happened to my darling little
rlm@2 253 Tomoyo-chan?” she asked no one in particular. Her voice held a tinge
rlm@2 254 of mania in it, an overprotective quality within her that had only
rlm@2 255 grown stronger since the loss of her beloved Nadeshiko. Her daughter
rlm@2 256 was the only person that mattered in her life anymore and she
rlm@2 257 couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to the pale girl. “I
rlm@2 258 knew I should have sent the bodyguards with her.”
rlm@2 259 Looking down at her laptop, the businesswoman sighed. She was too
rlm@2 260 flustered to attempt to get any work done. Her mind was concentrating
rlm@2 261 on other things. Her finger lingered over the shut down command, her
rlm@2 262 attention on the picture of Nadeshiko that she used as a background.
rlm@2 263 Though Nadeshiko had been a model for a number of years, this picture
rlm@2 264 was one of a kind. Nadeshiko had sent it explicitly to her around the
rlm@2 265 time she had been pregnant with Tomoyo. It was almost as if she’d
rlm@2 266 known. There was a sweet, simple letter attached. It mentioned
rlm@2 267 nothing of the man Sonomi had come to hate, Nadeshiko’s husband,
rlm@2 268 Fujitaka, or even of the birth of Sakura that must have been near at
rlm@2 269 the time. It was merely a few words that Sonomi had read over and
rlm@2 270 over until the ink had gotten smeared with her fingerprints and even
rlm@2 271 then, they were vivid in her memory. ‘Thank you for always looking
rlm@2 272 out for me, Sonomi-chan. Even if I don’t see you much anymore, I
rlm@2 273 still hear your voice when I’m going about my day. You’ll always be
rlm@2 274 in my heart.’ Three years later, she had died. Sonomi had never
rlm@2 275 gotten to ask her why she had sent the letter. It just hadn’t seemed
rlm@2 276 important while she was in the hospital. Sonomi’s mind had latched
rlm@2 277 onto other things at the time. Her failure to protect Nadeshiko and
rlm@2 278 the knowledge that she would soon lose her dearest cousin in this
rlm@2 279 life was unbearable. It made everything else seem trivial. It was
rlm@2 280 ironic that the only thing able to bring her back to Nadeshiko after
rlm@2 281 the marriage to Fujitaka was her impending death. And she had once
rlm@2 282 again been left without her.
rlm@2 283 But, as Nadeshiko had said, she was always in her heart. The
rlm@2 284 picture that Sonomi kept on her desktop and by her nightstand was not
rlm@2 285 one of Nadeshiko the model, Nadeshiko the mother, or Nadeshiko the
rlm@2 286 bride. It was simply her beloved Nadeshiko, her sweet little cousin.
rlm@2 287 And that was all Sonomi ever really wanted. She had other pictures of
rlm@2 288 Nadeshiko around the house and at her office, but this was her
rlm@2 289 favorite. The words always followed in Nadeshiko’s gentle voice when
rlm@2 290 she would look upon it. “Nadeshiko-chan, please look out for my
rlm@2 291 daughter,” she said softly.
rlm@2 292 Sonomi had spent the entire trip to the mountains in the vacation
rlm@2 293 house plagued by worries and concerns for her daughter. She felt a
rlm@2 294 little ashamed at what Tomoyo would think if she knew she had been
rlm@2 295 smoking the entire time. But she couldn’t help it. Her mind had been
rlm@2 296 in shambles, a hopelessness that had shrouded her soul sneaking up
rlm@2 297 like a curse to strike down her only daughter. It hardly seemed fair.
rlm@2 298 And Sonomi, the athletic and overprotective woman she was, once again
rlm@2 299 failed to save those close to her. Just like she had been unable to
rlm@2 300 protect Nadeshiko from HIM, she was unable to protect Tomoyo from the
rlm@2 301 pain that had enveloped her own life. Her mind had been consumed with
rlm@2 302 thoughts of her poor Tomoyo in Hong Kong, painfully aware of the boy
rlm@2 303 that had married Sakura. She knew that she herself couldn’t have
rlm@2 304 handled seeing Nadeshiko during her marriage to Fujitaka. It must
rlm@2 305 have been terrible for Tomoyo. Which is why she had tried to get
rlm@2 306 Tomoyo to come up with her to the mountains. She only wanted to
rlm@2 307 protect her daughter from the sorrow and the hurt. Her dreams had all
rlm@2 308 been nightmares during her restless sleep at the vacation home,
rlm@2 309 always reliving either Nadeshiko’s wedding or her funeral. She would
rlm@2 310 wake up screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks to an empty
rlm@2 311 vacation home filled with smoke, silent except for the ghost of her
rlm@2 312 daughter’s musical voice playing at the edge of her thoughts.
rlm@2 313 Tomoyo’s return to Japan filled her with a sense of relief,
rlm@2 314 although an afterthought of dread followed it. She really had no idea
rlm@2 315 what had happened during Tomoyo’s trip and was afraid that her
rlm@2 316 daughter had been thoroughly crushed by it all. Knowing she was
rlm@2 317 coming back let her rest a bit easier because now she could once
rlm@2 318 again keep an eye on the younger woman, trying to help however she
rlm@2 319 could. She needed to know that her baby was all right, that she had
rlm@2 320 survived the painful ordeal. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan, I wish you had come
rlm@2 321 with me instead. I can’t stand to know that Sakura-chan is hurting
rlm@2 322 you.” A sigh escaped her. If there was one thing that Sonomi hated
rlm@2 323 (Fujitaka), it was (Fujitaka) not being able to protect the ones
rlm@2 324 dearest to her. It was that feeling of utter helplessness that held
rlm@2 325 her bound while she desperately wanted to make things better. And it
rlm@2 326 had struck first with Nadeshiko and now with her own daughter. It
rlm@2 327 drove her crazy to be unable to keep her darling daughter safe from
rlm@2 328 the pain and torment she had lived through. Her long fingers wrapped
rlm@2 329 around the last cigarette in her purse. She rolled it over between
rlm@2 330 her fingers thoughtfully. No, being self-destructive certainly
rlm@2 331 wouldn’t help Tomoyo. She could almost hear her daughter’s voice
rlm@2 332 asking her politely not to use the little paper stick. Sighing, she
rlm@2 333 tossed it into the nearest trash can.
rlm@2 334 “Okaa-sama?” a tired voice asked behind her. Sonomi whirled around,
rlm@2 335 eyes settling on the visage of her exhausted daughter. Tomoyo had
rlm@2 336 dark bags under her eyes and her body seemed nearly too tired to walk
rlm@2 337 another step. Her smile was soft and sweet, her stormy blue eyes
rlm@2 338 sparkling with a mixture of emotions. Sadness, loss, joy, relief. She
rlm@2 339 seemed far too tired to struggle with her masks, though Sonomi could
rlm@2 340 see through her daughter’s charades easily enough. It looked like the
rlm@2 341 dark haired woman had been crying, her cheeks puffy and red and her
rlm@2 342 eyes bloodshot. She was holding a pink and white teddy bear and one
rlm@2 343 bag she had carried on with her. Sonomi’s arms wrapped around the
rlm@2 344 younger girl, pulling her nearly off her feet. Despite Tomoyo’s
rlm@2 345 exhaustion, the heiress nearly flew into her mother’s arms,
rlm@2 346 collapsing moments afterwards. “Okaa-sama... It’s so good to see
rlm@2 347 you,” she whispered. Her voice was near breaking.
rlm@2 348 “Tomoyo-chan!” Sonomi began smoothing down her daughter’s lavender
rlm@2 349 hair as she held onto the weak figure in her arms. “I was starting to
rlm@2 350 worry. I was starting to think something happened to your plane.”
rlm@2 351 Choking back tears that suddenly threatened the businesswoman, she
rlm@2 352 shook her head, smiling. “I’m just glad to see you, Tomoyo-chan.
rlm@2 353 Here, let the bodyguards get the rest of your bags and we’ll head
rlm@2 354 straight home. You look like you haven’t slept in days. We’ll get you
rlm@2 355 right in bed as soon as we’re home.” Standing back to get a better
rlm@2 356 look at her daughter, Sonomi couldn’t help but smile wider. Her worry
rlm@2 357 seemed to evaporate now that Tomoyo was back in Japan. Now she could
rlm@2 358 protect her again. Now she would be safe. “I’m so glad to have you
rlm@2 359 back, Tomoyo-chan.” Giving her daughter another quick hug, Sonomi
rlm@2 360 finally stepped back.
rlm@2 361 A soft sigh escaped Tomoyo’s lips. She was home now. The whole trip
rlm@2 362 was behind her now. But it still felt fresh and alive in her memory,
rlm@2 363 as if she was reliving it at the very moment. Seeing her mother took
rlm@2 364 away the edge to her pain. It was still there, but much more distant.
rlm@2 365 She always felt safe when her mother was nearby. Her indomitable
rlm@2 366 spirit was something Tomoyo had always admired about her mother, and
rlm@2 367 it always made things feel better when she was there. "Arigato
rlm@2 368 gozaimasu,” Tomoyo said, bowing. One of the darkly dressed women
rlm@2 369 standing behind her mother took her bag, though she held tightly onto
rlm@2 370 the teddy bear. Two others returned with the rest of her luggage.
rlm@2 371 Sonomi led the way towards the limousine, standing very near
rlm@2 372 Tomoyo, half afraid that her daughter would simply collapse. “If
rlm@2 373 you’re too tired, I can carry you the rest of the way,” Sonomi
rlm@2 374 offered, watching her daughter out of the corner of her eyes. “I used
rlm@2 375 to all the time when you were younger, Tomoyo-chan.” A bright smile
rlm@2 376 played across her lips at the memories. Her tiny little daughter
rlm@2 377 asleep in her arms as she would carry her off to bed. She still did
rlm@2 378 that occasionally when she found Tomoyo asleep while watching her
rlm@2 379 videotapes of Sakura. The young woman she saw next to her seemed to
rlm@2 380 be replaced by the tiny daughter of yesteryear, happy to see her
rlm@2 381 mother again after a business trip. But the look in her eyes brought
rlm@2 382 Sonomi back to the present. There was something in those eyes that
rlm@2 383 was far too old for the young woman, an ancient pain and knowledge.
rlm@2 384 She was mature for her years. She always had been. She had always
rlm@2 385 surprised Sonomi, brightening up her otherwise lonely and busy life.
rlm@2 386 Tomoyo smiled at the offer, but shook her head politely. Long dark
rlm@2 387 hair fluttered from side to side. “No, that’s all right, Okaa-sama. I
rlm@2 388 think I can make it on my own.” She was happy to see that her mother
rlm@2 389 was still as sweetly overprotective as ever. It had always been
rlm@2 390 something she could rely on when she was younger. When she was tucked
rlm@2 391 away in bed, she had always known that her mother would keep an eye
rlm@2 392 on her. And that if anything went wrong, Sonomi would be the first to
rlm@2 393 her rescue. It was a comforting thought. Of course, Tomoyo tried
rlm@2 394 extra hard not to worry her mother because of that overprotective
rlm@2 395 nature. In the same way Tomoyo didn’t want Sakura to feel bad because
rlm@2 396 of her, she tried to do the same for her mother. But Sonomi always
rlm@2 397 foiled her attempts by seeing straight through her masks, looking
rlm@2 398 directly into her soul. She still didn’t know how her mother managed
rlm@2 399 it when no one else seemed capable, but the only answer her mother
rlm@2 400 ever supplied was simply that: She was her mother.
rlm@2 401 The two women and their small entourage finally made it to the
rlm@2 402 limousine out in the airport parking lot. One of the bodyguards
rlm@2 403 opened the door for the two of them and they slid inside the
rlm@2 404 comfortable interior. “How was your trip, Tomoyo-chan?” Sonomi asked
rlm@2 405 at last, almost afraid of the answer. To her surprise, Tomoyo giggled
rlm@2 406 softly, smiling brightly in response.
rlm@2 407 “It was wonderful, Okaa-sama. It was absolutely amazing. Seeing
rlm@2 408 Sakura-chan again was like a fairy tale. She was a beautiful
rlm@2 409 princess, capturing me away in a small tower in her heart during my
rlm@2 410 visit. I don’t think I’ve ever had dreams nearly so pleasant. It was
rlm@2 411 perfect, mother. I thought after so long, I would be in the way while
rlm@2 412 I was there, that I should try to distance myself during the trip.
rlm@2 413 But I couldn’t. Not with Sakura-chan. She pulled me out from behind
rlm@2 414 the curtains and wouldn’t let me go. We talked for hours and hours,
rlm@2 415 her voice is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, and we held
rlm@2 416 onto each other. She did my hair like she used to when we were little
rlm@2 417 girls and we danced late into the night together, all alone amidst
rlm@2 418 the crowd.” Her stormy blue eyes closed as she tilted her head to the
rlm@2 419 side, her cheeks flushing slightly at the memories. “We kissed under
rlm@2 420 the moonlight. She has incredibly soft lips. Sakura-chan is a very
rlm@2 421 good kisser.”
rlm@2 422 Sonomi clasped her hands together, very nearly startling Tomoyo out
rlm@2 423 of her reverie. Her eyes shone like diamonds, an electric thrill
rlm@2 424 coursing up her spine. “Tomoyo-chan, you kissed Sakura-chan?” She
rlm@2 425 couldn’t have been happier if she’d been told that she had kissed
rlm@2 426 Nadeshiko. In fact, it felt almost the same. She saw so much of
rlm@2 427 herself and Nadeshiko in the two girls. These little things between
rlm@2 428 their daughters almost felt like she herself was living through it.
rlm@2 429 For a second, she saw Nadeshiko sitting beside her, a small smile on
rlm@2 430 her lips and beautiful black ribbons in her hair. She looked quite a
rlm@2 431 bit like Tomoyo at that age, actually. And Sakura even resembled
rlm@2 432 herself in some small ways. Sonomi hugged her daughter tightly,
rlm@2 433 delight dancing through her. “Tomoyo-chan, that’s fantastic! You’ll
rlm@2 434 have to tell me every single detail!”
rlm@2 435 Tomoyo giggled softly and nodded. So often she kept her love for
rlm@2 436 Sakura to herself, locked up in her heart. She was very happy to be
rlm@2 437 able to share that with her mother. Her mother was nearly as obsessed
rlm@2 438 with Sakura as she herself was, being Nadeshiko’s daughter and all,
rlm@2 439 and it was wonderful to have someone to talk about it with. If anyone
rlm@2 440 understood her love for Sakura, it was her mother who had gone
rlm@2 441 through much the same thing with Nadeshiko. Smiling happily, Tomoyo
rlm@2 442 added, “And I have plenty of videotape from the trip. Not as much as
rlm@2 443 I would have liked, but I have some nice footage.”
rlm@2 444 “I can’t wait to see it all, Tomoyo-chan,” Sonomi said eagerly. She
rlm@2 445 felt delightfully giddy at the prospects of what had happened during
rlm@2 446 Tomoyo’s trip. There was even a trill of hope in her heart, one she
rlm@2 447 hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time. In a way, her hopes and
rlm@2 448 dreams had been passed on to Tomoyo. She knew that Tomoyo obviously
rlm@2 449 wasn’t with Sakura, but the idea of a kiss was a gripping thought.
rlm@2 450 "But first, you’re going to get some sleep. Then you can tell me all
rlm@2 451 about it.”
rlm@2 452 “I would like that very much, mother,” Tomoyo replied, hugging the
rlm@2 453 bear named Sakura to her chest. Yawning tiredly, she felt her mother
rlm@2 454 pull her closer. Before long, she was asleep with her head on
rlm@2 455 Sonomi’s shoulder.
rlm@2 456