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1 Dear Sakura
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2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
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3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
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5
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6 “It’s beautiful, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s melodious voice said as they
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7 both paused in front of the Jumbo restaurant. Her words were an
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8 understatement to the surreal view of the floating restaurant ahead
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9 of the two women. Water splashed around it as the many lights played
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10 across Tomoyo’s pale skin.
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11 “Hoe...” The sight before them was a pleasant surprise to Sakura as
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12 well. She had been to a number of restaurants with Syaoran when they
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13 had first come to Hong Kong, but this hadn’t been one of them. Which
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14 was part of her decision to take Tomoyo to it now that it was her
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15 last night in Hong Kong. That thought lay over her soul like a heavy
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16 cloak, it’s weight almost unbearable. But she tried to force it off,
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17 wanting to enjoy what little time they had left. She had wanted to
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18 take Tomoyo out for dinner, just the two of them. A chance to be
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19 alone together one last time. Now she was glad for her decision. The
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20 restaurant looked majestic with the waves crashing around it.
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21 Watching her spirited friend, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. For
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22 all of it’s splendor, the restaurant ahead of them was nothing in
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23 comparison to Sakura. She was simply gorgeous in the beautiful blue
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24 Chinese dress she was wearing. Her soft brunette hair framed her
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25 pretty face perfectly, her expression still one of surprise.
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26 Squeezing Sakura’s hand lightly, her eyes sparkled when she saw
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27 Sakura turn to her. This was wonderful, standing with Sakura together
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28 while they waited to be seated at a restaurant as if they were on
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29 some sort of magical date. Only being able to have the whole thing on
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30 videotape could make it any better. Or perhaps if it were a real
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31 date... But Tomoyo was pleasantly thrilled just to be there with
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32 Sakura on something that came close enough to a date for her liking.
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33 Sakura found herself blushing slightly at the way Tomoyo was
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34 looking at her. It was the same warm and loving expression that
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35 Tomoyo had always given her when she had the dark haired woman’s full
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36 attention. Which was more often than not. She averted her gaze after
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37 a few seconds, once again busying herself with the beautiful
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38 establishment in front of them. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she
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39 kept looking into those stormy blue eyes. They were almost hypnotic.
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40 “Well, we better get going before they decide to give away our
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41 seats.” Tomoyo agreed enthusiastically and the two finally entered
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42 the restaurant.
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43
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44 True to its gorgeous exterior, the inside was just as exquisite.
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45 And completely packed. For a while, Sakura worried that even with her
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46 reservations she wouldn’t be able to get a table. But the Li family
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47 was very important in Hong Kong, and Sakura Li was treated no
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48 differently. Before too long, she and her dark haired best friend had
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49 been seated and their orders taken. “Are you sure that’s all you
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50 want, Tomoyo-chan? You can get more if you want,” Sakura said upon
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51 realizing how little the pale woman had ordered. Then again, Tomoyo
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52 had never eaten a considerable amount, her slim figure almost seeming
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53 frail.
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54 Tomoyo smiled politely and shook her head, her beautiful lavender
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55 tresses swaying behind her. “No, I’m fine, Sakura-chan. I think I’m
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56 still full from the banquet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much
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57 food in one place before. Poor Kero-chan must have been very
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58 disappointed not to be invited.” Both women giggled softly, the
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59 tension fading away somewhat. This was Tomoyo’s last night in Hong
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60 Kong and though neither woman had spoken it directly, it was
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61 lingering unsaid between the two of them. This was their last chance
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62 together, and Tomoyo still hadn’t decided how she should react to it.
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63 Her initial decision about the whole trip had been to hide her
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64 feelings for Sakura, to tone down her endless affection for the
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65 brunette in fear that it would be unwelcome with her marriage.
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66 But Sakura had baffled her upon her arrival. It was like returning
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67 to a loved one after years of absence. She could imagine it was
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68 similar to when Syaoran had returned to Sakura. She had greeted
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69 Tomoyo with such warmth and affection, staying nearby during the
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70 trip, her love almost seeming to echo Tomoyo’s own. It was eerie and
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71 not at all what she had expected, but it had grasped onto her heart
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72 quickly and wouldn’t let go. Sakura had always been very loving with
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73 her, but this went beyond all of her own expectations. It was almost
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74 as if Sakura’s love mirrored her own. It rattled the locked cage of
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75 her heart, drawing her love and adoration out from behind the masks
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76 she had erected. Hiding her love from Sakura was impossible, she knew
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77 that now. It was all she could do to keep from blatantly telling
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78 Sakura of her feelings, something she knew would certainly be
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79 disastrous. If Sakura knew how she felt, it would cause endless
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80 turmoil for her marriage and their friendship. She simply couldn’t
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81 allow that. Sakura’s happiness meant everything to her. But still, it
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82 was almost impossible to deny the feelings she was getting from the
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83 brunette, the way she had kissed back, the way she was acting. When
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84 was the last time she had seen Sakura acting like this? With Yukito?
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85 No, this didn’t have the same trappings of a crush that her behavior
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86 with Yukito had indicated to Tomoyo early on. Which led up to some
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87 very confusing conclusions for the dark haired designer. She was
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88 having a much harder time telling herself that there was nothing
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89 there. Looking into Sakura’s eyes, seeing those bright emerald orbs
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90 looking back into hers, she could see something that both thrilled
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91 and frightened her.
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92 There was something there that was growing inside Sakura. Just what
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93 it was, Tomoyo was still left a little unsure. Her mind kept
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94 returning to the kiss and moments before when Sakura had been holding
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95 her. The one thing Tomoyo could be sure of was that she would soon
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96 begin to disrupt Sakura’s life if she allowed these feelings of the
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97 Cardmistress’s to continue. Sakura had a husband, a new life in Hong
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98 Kong. Tomoyo was an anchor tying her down to the past. Perhaps now
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99 more than ever. She had wanted to come to Hong Kong as a way to help
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100 Sakura let go of the past, but it seemed that she was making it
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101 worse. It was painful being so near Sakura, loving her so completely
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102 while knowing that she was still married to her true love. So close,
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103 yet so far. Look, but don’t touch. It felt as if she were an infinite
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104 distance away from Sakura at times when they were only feet apart.
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105 But her love could travel that distance. Even if Sakura couldn’t see
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106 it. Was Syaoran really Sakura’s true love? The dark haired woman had
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107 been so intent on finding the person that could make Sakura happy
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108 that she had truly believed it was Syaoran. Now she wasn’t so sure.
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109 After Ieran’s words and her time spent with Sakura, she couldn’t be
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110 so certain that he was anymore. But it was too late for any of that.
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111 He had to be the one for Sakura. He had to. And Tomoyo could do
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112 nothing but disrupt that, tearing apart Sakura’s happiness by staying
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113 with her.
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114 That was why she had decided late the night before, through many
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115 tears and much heartache, that this was goodbye. Not that she could
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116 come out and tell Sakura that, of course. Or that she would even act
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117 on it all at once. No, this was their last time together. She would
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118 never return to Hong Kong after this trip. She was now more sure than
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119 ever that the only way to keep Sakura truly happy was to fade out of
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120 her life. Staying would be too painful for the brunette as her
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121 feelings became more confusing and as Tomoyo remained an ever present
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122 reminder of her past. She had to admit that part of her reasoning was
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123 that she couldn’t handle it herself. After being so close to Sakura,
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124 feeling her heart in a new way and sharing her first kiss with her
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125 best friend, it was too painful to remain in her life knowing that
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126 she was no longer necessary to it. So she would fade away. Slowly at
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127 first, until she could slip out of Sakura’s life. By then she would
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128 be nothing more than a memory in Sakura’s happy life. A memory that
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129 would not be missed.
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130 Smiling her sweet, happy smile that she always managed to keep up
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131 for Sakura's sake, she managed to smile a little brighter at the
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132 brunette. She wanted to leave on a happy note. A glorious note. One
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133 that would leave Sakura with good memories of her friend’s visit. So
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134 she would not let her pained feelings inside get a foothold again
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135 like she had the night of the kiss. No, this time she would be all
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136 smiles for Sakura. She would be everything for Sakura. Because she
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137 loved her.
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138 Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura brushed back a lock of hair from
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139 her eyes. The restaurant was gorgeous. She must have done more
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140 sightseeing in her time during Tomoyo’s visit than she had during her
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141 entire time prior in Hong Kong. Oh, the wonderful things she had
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142 seen! It was truly a beautiful city. But the best part had been that
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143 she had been able to see it with her best friend. Such things were
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144 always infinitely more amazing when you could experience them with
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145 someone important to you. “It was a lot of fun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank
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146 you for everything." The light on Tomoyo almost made her look like a
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147 part of the surreal design of the restaurant, adding to its beauty.
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148 Tomoyo looked a little surprised, something she rarely was. Shaking
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149 her head, she quickly came back to the present, tilting her head to
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150 the side. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Sakura-chan. I
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151 had a lovely time. I always have fun when I’m with Sakura-chan. And
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152 anything is a great excuse to spend more time with you. I just like
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153 to be around you.”
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154 They were words that Sakura had heard thousands of times before by
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155 this very same woman, but all the same they brought an embarrassed
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156 blush to the brunette’s cheeks. Most likely, she thought, because she
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157 knew they were absolutely true on Tomoyo’s behalf. The tone in her
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158 soft, gentle voice sent a trill through Sakura’s mind. There was so
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159 much underlying it, so much that she never truly understood yet
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160 always made her happy to hear. But what caught her attention was
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161 something else entirely. Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes once again looked
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162 frozen, out of place with the beautiful smile on her face. It was as
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163 if those shining windows had been boarded up to hide something deep
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164 inside. Sakura shook her head. It must be her mind playing tricks on
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165 her. Now that Tomoyo was leaving, she felt a deep well of sadness
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166 inside. She didn’t want Tomoyo to leave. Her presence had made the
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167 past few days some of the happiest in Sakura’s life. But knowing that
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168 it was all coming to an end made it almost impossible to enjoy what
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169 little time they had left together. She didn’t know what to do. The
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170 Cardmistress felt so lost and alone now that Tomoyo would be going
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171 back to Tomoeda. She needed Tomoyo. She needed to see her smiling
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172 face, to hear her loving voice, to feel her gentle embrace, to feel
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173 those soft lips... Sakura shook her head, trying to concentrate. She
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174 wanted Tomoyo to stay, to know that her best friend would always be
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175 there. But she had her own life back home. Like she had said, they
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176 had gone down different roads now. This was merely a brief detour.
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177 The waitress finally arrived with their food, interrupting both
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178 women from their thoughts. “It looks delicious, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo
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179 took a small bite of her meal before looking back to Sakura. “Oishi,”
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180 she said, smiling at the brunette. Despite all of Hong Kong’s
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181 elegance and beauty, Sakura still stood out amongst all of it for
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182 Tomoyo. It all paled in comparison to the young Japanese bride that
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183 Tomoyo was lucky enough to have the pleasure of calling her best
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184 friend. Even sitting across from her with a slightly quizzical look
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185 as she tasted a certain cuisine for the first time, she was utterly
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186 gorgeous. Tomoyo smiled brighter as she watched Sakura take a sip of
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187 her meal. “You can have some of mine if you’d like, Sakura-chan,” the
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188 dark haired girl offered.
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189 Sakura smiled happily at the offer. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan! Next time
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190 I’ll be a little more careful about what I order. It sounded like a
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191 good thing.” Her smile turned sheepish as she looked back at her own
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192 meal before meeting gazes with Tomoyo again. To her surprise, Tomoyo
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193 brought her own chopsticks up to Sakura’s mouth. The brunette blinked
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194 for a second before opening her mouth. With delicate precision,
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195 Tomoyo fed her the bite of food.
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196 “Sakura-chan looks so cute when she’s being fed,” Tomoyo said simply
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197 as she took another bite up to Sakura’s mouth. Her eyes seemed to
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198 sparkle as she watched the Cardmistress intently, earlier thoughts
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199 lost in her current state of bliss that being near Sakura always
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200 managed to affect her with. Sakura’s blush faded slowly as she
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201 continued to eat from Tomoyo’s chopsticks. The two sat in relative
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202 silence, but there wasn’t anything awkward about it. It was pleasant
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203 and warm, drowning out the noise that all the other patrons were
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204 making. Before long, Tomoyo had fed Sakura all of her plate.
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205 Sitting back, Sakura finally realized that she had been leaning
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206 forward the entire time. No doubt for Tomoyo to feed her. She felt
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207 giddy and bubbly, excited and content all at once. This was
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208 wonderful, being here with Tomoyo, spending their time together this
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209 way. It felt like they had never been apart. Like it had always been
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210 this way, the two of them. Tomoyo had always been there for her, but
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211 it felt nice to be alone with her, to be able to concentrate solely
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212 on the toy designer for once. On the cute little things she did and
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213 said. On the feelings that coursed through her at just being there
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214 with her. It was nice to be going out to dinner with her. It was
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215 almost like her dates with Syaoran. But it was so different in many
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216 aspects. There wasn’t that embarrassing uneasiness that usually went
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217 along with her dates or the unsteady silence as she tried to come up
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218 with what to say. It just didn’t matter. She didn’t have to say
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219 anything at all and it was perfectly all right. Tomoyo’s eyes seemed
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220 to be able to read her perfectly. It was a wonderful sensation. And
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221 after all of Tomoyo’s trip, it was difficult to think of anything to
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222 say that didn’t have to do with their parting soon. So it was a
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223 blessing to be able to just cherish their time together. The two
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224 women chatted pleasantly about certain things, none of any great
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225 significance. It was enough to know that the other was there.
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226 After a brief silence, Sakura looked down, struggling to put her
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227 feelings into words. Being with Tomoyo had such a tremendous affect
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228 on her, as she had recently been aware of, but the flurry of emotions
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229 was difficult to pin down. She knew they were of love. A strong and
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230 powerful love that swept her off her feet and nearly pulled her along
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231 in the cyclone of her feelings. But such a love for her best friend
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232 seemed so strange, that it would be so much more encompassing than
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233 even her love for her husband. It left her dizzy in its wake, unsure
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234 of what to say to the beautiful lavender haired woman. The love that
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235 she experienced from Tomoyo felt equally as powerful, though it
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236 seemed to have much more direction than Sakura’s own confused
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237 feelings. It was all encompassing yet direct at the same time, never
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238 leaving her whenever Tomoyo was present. In all that the pale woman
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239 did, Sakura could feel that same love that Tomoyo so delicately took
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240 care of. Her body shuddered lightly at even the feel of Tomoyo’s hand
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241 encompassing her own on the table, the fingers slowly entwining with
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242 her own. “Tomoyo-chan,” she began, nervously. “When I’m with you,
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243 I... Sometimes I feel like my heart’s pounding in my chest and I feel
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244 breathless like I’ve been running for miles even though I’ve been
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245 standing still. I feel like... Like there’s magic in the air, like
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246 it’s in everything that you touch. I feel so happy when we’re
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247 together. Sometimes I feel dizzy, like it’s too much. But then I know
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248 that you’ll catch me if I fall. So I’m never afraid. Even when it
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249 feels like my heart will burst from too much inside, it just seems to
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250 grow and grow. I don’t know how to talk to Syaoran-chan about any of
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rlm@2
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251 this. But I guess that’s okay. I’ve heard you say things like this
|
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rlm@2
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252 before and I think I’m starting to understand them. Not all of it,
|
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rlm@2
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253 but some. I just... I’m really glad you’re here.”
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rlm@2
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254 Tomoyo watched Sakura for a long moment, playing her words over and
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rlm@2
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255 over again in her head. Sakura almost looked like a scared puppy,
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rlm@2
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256 unsure of how Tomoyo would react. Tomoyo was still a little surprised
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rlm@2
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257 herself. The brunette’s words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that
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rlm@2
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258 Tomoyo was having difficulty writing off the feelings Sakura had
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rlm@2
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259 expressed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Bringing Sakura’s hand up,
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rlm@2
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260 she kissed it softly, delicately. “Sakura-chan, you always make me
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rlm@2
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261 feel very special. You really don’t know how much happiness you have
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rlm@2
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262 given me over the years. Hearing you say that makes me very glad for
|
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rlm@2
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263 the time we’ve been able to spend together. You’re very important to
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rlm@2
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264 me, Sakura-chan. Hearing what’s in your precious heart is a thrill to
|
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rlm@2
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265 me because I’ve always wanted to know that it was beating happily. It
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rlm@2
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266 sounds like Sakura-chan’s heart is very much like mine.”
|
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rlm@2
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267 “But, Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want your heart to burst from all of that
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rlm@2
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268 love locked up inside of you. Please tell me who has the key. I know
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rlm@2
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269 that your love for your special someone must be very strong. I don’t
|
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rlm@2
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270 know how you can handle it,” Sakura shook her head sadly, her hand
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rlm@2
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271 still holding onto Tomoyo’s as their eyes met from across the table.
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rlm@2
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272 Tomoyo just smiled, perhaps a little sadly. Slowly standing up, she
|
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rlm@2
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273 brought Sakura up with her. Dinner was done and there was no reason
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rlm@2
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274 to stay. “Sometimes I wonder if the key is still out there, Sakura-
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rlm@2
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275 chan. Or maybe it’s already been lost. But it doesn’t matter. The
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rlm@2
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276 feelings inside of you are happy, aren’t they, Sakura-chan? So are
|
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rlm@2
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277 mine. Because when I close my eyes, my special someone is smiling.
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rlm@2
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278 And it is the most beautiful, shining smile that I have ever seen.”
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rlm@2
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279 Her eyes never left Sakura as she stood close to the Cardmistress,
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rlm@2
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280 their hands held. Yes, Sakura’s smile was like the gentle touch of
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rlm@2
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281 angels. It would forever soothe her aching heart as long as she knew
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rlm@2
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282 it was there.
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rlm@2
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283 Sakura sighed, but she quickly brightened visibly. “Would you like
|
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rlm@2
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284 to dance, Tomoyo-chan? I think Fanren-chan mentioned a place nearby
|
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rlm@2
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285 before we left. I remember you said that you liked to dance, even if
|
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rlm@2
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286 you haven’t in a long time. And I know you can’t with your special
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rlm@2
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287 person, but I’d still be happy to dance with you.”
|
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rlm@2
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288 A soft giggle came from Tomoyo as she nodded. “I would love to dance
|
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rlm@2
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289 with you, Sakura-chan. More than anything. I can’t think of a better
|
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rlm@2
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290 way to end the night.” With that, the two made their way quickly out
|
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rlm@2
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291 of the restaurant towards a night of dancing.
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rlm@2
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292
|
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rlm@2
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293 The two woman glided across the slightly crowded floor to
|
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rlm@2
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294 romantically slow music playing all around them. Tomoyo was currently
|
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rlm@2
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295 leading the pair as they began a new dance. Her long, lavender hair
|
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rlm@2
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296 swayed around her, moving along with Tomoyo’s own elegant movements.
|
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rlm@2
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297 The rest of the dancers hardly seemed to exist for the two friends.
|
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rlm@2
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298 How long they had been there remained a mystery, but it didn’t
|
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rlm@2
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299 matter. Acknowledging the time would be a step closer to ending the
|
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rlm@2
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300 night, and neither was in any hurry for that. So instead they
|
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rlm@2
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301 continued to dance, entangled in the almost hypnotic quality the
|
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rlm@2
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302 music had as it kept them dancing together.
|
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rlm@2
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303 Sakura was not an accomplished dancer by any means, but she had
|
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rlm@2
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304 certainly enjoyed whatever chances she had to do so, whether that be
|
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rlm@2
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305 with Flower or with her husband. But never had she caught herself
|
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rlm@2
|
306 enjoying it as much as she did now, Tomoyo’s fluid grace seeming to
|
|
rlm@2
|
307 pull her in further and further. Sakura was much more athletic, but
|
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rlm@2
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308 Tomoyo still had a certain elegance to her that always seemed to
|
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rlm@2
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309 shine through in such things, whether it be art or singing or even
|
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rlm@2
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310 editing videotape. And like everything else, Sakura found herself
|
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rlm@2
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311 being dragged along by Tomoyo’s sweet albeit persistent nature. She
|
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rlm@2
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312 gave herself up to it, letting it lead where it would. She followed
|
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rlm@2
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313 along as Tomoyo continued to slow dance with her, wishing that the
|
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rlm@2
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314 song would continue on for just one more minute. That was all she
|
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rlm@2
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315 wanted. Just another minute.
|
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rlm@2
|
316 Once again Tomoyo found herself wishing she had brought her
|
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rlm@2
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317 camcorder along for the night’s activities. This was perfect, dancing
|
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rlm@2
|
318 along with Sakura as the night marched inexorably forward. She had
|
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rlm@2
|
319 ignored any semblance of a clock, much happier with the seemingly
|
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rlm@2
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320 eternal moment they seemed trapped in together. The feel of Sakura
|
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rlm@2
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321 near her would linger in her mind long after it was gone, she knew.
|
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rlm@2
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322 Sakura’s sweet scent, the way she felt through the soft fabric of her
|
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rlm@2
|
323 dress, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light while they danced,
|
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rlm@2
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324 it would all remain with her. But if only she could have it on
|
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rlm@2
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325 videotape! Even asking a complete stranger to videotape the two of
|
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rlm@2
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326 them sounded perfectly reasonable at the moment. Then she could watch
|
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rlm@2
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327 this tape of their date over and over again when she returned home.
|
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rlm@2
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328 Well, their almost date, anyway. But it was close enough. It
|
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rlm@2
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329 certainly felt more than romantic enough to the lavender haired girl
|
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rlm@2
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330 at any rate, who shifted to let Sakura lead as the next song began.
|
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rlm@2
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331 If she could have one wish, it would be to stop time here, to let
|
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rlm@2
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332 this moment stretch out for an eternity. She could think of no better
|
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rlm@2
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333 way to spend it than in Sakura’s arms, dancing happily with her.
|
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rlm@2
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334 Well, perhaps she could think of several others, but they would
|
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rlm@2
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335 require far more than a simple wish. For the time being, Tomoyo would
|
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rlm@2
|
336 be quite content if the music would just roll on forever, allowing
|
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rlm@2
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337 her all of that time to be with her beloved. She enjoyed the dancing
|
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rlm@2
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338 immensely. It afforded her the chance to not think about anything.
|
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rlm@2
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339 Her thoughts were far from the forefront of her mind, leaving only
|
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rlm@2
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340 her feelings and Sakura to take up her full attention. There were no
|
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rlm@2
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341 words or questions spinning through her mind now. It was only love
|
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rlm@2
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342 and joy and the rhythmic moves of dancing as she and Sakura carried
|
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rlm@2
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343 on.
|
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rlm@2
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344 How long had they been dancing? Sakura had no idea anymore. Nor did
|
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rlm@2
|
345 she care. The night had been wonderful. Dancing had been a sweet
|
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rlm@2
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346 icing on the cake. The Cardmistress smiled to herself as Tomoyo
|
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rlm@2
|
347 rested her head on her shoulder, their bodies swaying lightly
|
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rlm@2
|
348 together to the music. Bringing her hand up, Sakura’s fingers lightly
|
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rlm@2
|
349 brushed through the silken strands, feeling them slip between her
|
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rlm@2
|
350 fingers. Tomoyo sighed softly against her. It was a happy, contented
|
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rlm@2
|
351 sound. Sakura’s heart swelled to hear it and she held on tighter to
|
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rlm@2
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352 Tomoyo, still moving lightly as the music continued playing. After a
|
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rlm@2
|
353 brief moment’s hesitation, Sakura brushed some of the dark hair away
|
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rlm@2
|
354 from one of Tomoyo’s ears. “Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want you to be
|
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rlm@2
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355 lonely. You’re so pretty, and kind, and gentle, and loving. You just
|
|
rlm@2
|
356 can’t be alone. I love you too much to see you alone.”
|
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rlm@2
|
357 “I’m not lonely when I’m with you,” Tomoyo replied softly, snuggling
|
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rlm@2
|
358 closer against Sakura, her head shifting on the brunette’s shoulder.
|
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rlm@2
|
359 “When I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter. I’m just so happy
|
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rlm@2
|
360 that I can be with Sakura-chan that everything else fades into the
|
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rlm@2
|
361 background. I’m very pleased that you think of me so highly. Hearing
|
|
rlm@2
|
362 you say things like that makes my heart beat faster. I love you,
|
|
rlm@2
|
363 Sakura-chan,” she whispered at last, closing her eyes. Today had been
|
|
rlm@2
|
364 an emotional rollercoaster. No, the entire trip had been. But little
|
|
rlm@2
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365 moments like this revitalized her, reminding her in a gentle voice
|
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rlm@2
|
366 that this was exactly why she loved Sakura.
|
|
rlm@2
|
367 “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura whispered in return, holding
|
|
rlm@2
|
368 onto Tomoyo tightly. She didn’t want to let her go. She never wanted
|
|
rlm@2
|
369 to let her go. Never again. It didn’t feel right to be without her.
|
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rlm@2
|
370 She needed Tomoyo. This feeling, this peaceful feeling that
|
|
rlm@2
|
371 encompassed her body and soul was missing whenever Tomoyo was gone.
|
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rlm@2
|
372 Her heart begged for the toy designer to stay, but she dared not ask
|
|
rlm@2
|
373 that of her. She couldn’t.
|
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rlm@2
|
374 Tomoyo giggled again, her voice softly muffled against Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@2
|
375 shoulder. Her dark hair was spilt over Sakura and herself now, her
|
|
rlm@2
|
376 body leaning against Sakura’s. ‘Oh, how I wish that were true. I
|
|
rlm@2
|
377 would give anything to know that with all certainty. I would live my
|
|
rlm@2
|
378 entire life to make you happy, Sakura-chan. I love you so much,’ she
|
|
rlm@2
|
379 thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “I still think my love and your
|
|
rlm@2
|
380 love are different things, Sakura-chan.” This time she left off the
|
|
rlm@2
|
381 offer to explain when she was older. No, there would be no
|
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rlm@2
|
382 explanation, she had decided. It would only make things more
|
|
rlm@2
|
383 difficult for Sakura. And for herself. Her love was best kept hidden.
|
|
rlm@2
|
384 Even if it did hurt terribly sometimes. But that’s why she would
|
|
rlm@2
|
385 always treasure moments like these.
|
|
rlm@2
|
386 “How can you be sure?” Sakura asked, her voice questioning. She
|
|
rlm@2
|
387 could remember Tomoyo saying that before, but for some reason it was
|
|
rlm@2
|
388 troubling her. Why would their love be any different? Why wouldn’t it
|
|
rlm@2
|
389 be the same? She almost felt surrounded by the feelings in her heart,
|
|
rlm@2
|
390 all of them attached like strings to the woman in her arms.
|
|
rlm@2
|
391 “I’m not so sure sometimes,” Tomoyo whispered back quietly. Her
|
|
rlm@2
|
392 head slowly pulled off of Sakura’s shoulder, her stormy blue eyes
|
|
rlm@2
|
393 shimmering as they met Sakura’s jade orbs. Her fingers gently cupped
|
|
rlm@2
|
394 Sakura’s chin as a phantom of a smile played across her lips. Her
|
|
rlm@2
|
395 whole body ached for the feel of those lips just one more time. For
|
|
rlm@2
|
396 that passionate embrace, for the flood of emotions she had received
|
|
rlm@2
|
397 from Sakura. But her fingers slowly slipped away, falling back to her
|
|
rlm@2
|
398 side. Her head rested once again on Sakura’s shoulder. No, if she was
|
|
rlm@2
|
399 going to fade away, then that memory would be what would burn in her
|
|
rlm@2
|
400 heart forevermore. She would savor that one kiss always. She closed
|
|
rlm@2
|
401 her eyes once more and lost herself in Sakura’s warm embrace.
|
|
rlm@2
|
402 Sakura held her gently, lovingly. She still didn’t understand what
|
|
rlm@2
|
403 the dark haired woman had meant by all that, but right now she didn’t
|
|
rlm@2
|
404 feel like asking her. She just wanted to hold her until the morning
|
|
rlm@2
|
405 came. Maybe it never would. Maybe if she held on tight enough, Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@2
|
406 would never have to leave her side again. After Tomoyo’s visit,
|
|
rlm@2
|
407 returning to life without the gentle presence of the toy designer was
|
|
rlm@2
|
408 utterly inconceivable. Sakura couldn’t imagine life without her, not
|
|
rlm@2
|
409 knowing she was right there, not being able to be with her. Now that
|
|
rlm@2
|
410 she had seen Tomoyo again, she knew what it was that had been missing
|
|
rlm@2
|
411 since she had moved to Hong Kong. Not her family or friends, although
|
|
rlm@2
|
412 she missed them dearly. But Tomoyo herself. The feelings inside her
|
|
rlm@2
|
413 that expanded in joy when they were together, that felt so cold and
|
|
rlm@2
|
414 alone when they were apart, told her this much. Even if she couldn’t
|
|
rlm@2
|
415 quite name it, she knew it to be true.
|
|
rlm@2
|
416 A feeling welled up in Sakura’s anxious heart that she could only
|
|
rlm@2
|
417 vaguely remember feeling quite some time ago. It was a devastating
|
|
rlm@2
|
418 mix of pain, fear, abandonment, and loss all bundled up inside of
|
|
rlm@2
|
419 her. These weren’t the feelings she’d had when Syaoran had left,
|
|
rlm@2
|
420 though she had missed him terribly. These were the feelings she could
|
|
rlm@2
|
421 only remember as if from a dream when her mother had been taken away
|
|
rlm@2
|
422 from her. She had only been three years old at the time, still a
|
|
rlm@2
|
423 young child. But the feelings were as potent as the day she had found
|
|
rlm@2
|
424 out what had happened to her mother. It tore at her heart with a
|
|
rlm@2
|
425 vicious ferocity, like some caged beast that had finally escaped.
|
|
rlm@2
|
426 Sharp claws raked at her soul as tears begin to drip down her cheeks.
|
|
rlm@2
|
427 She held onto Tomoyo tighter, her body shaking ever so slightly. Why
|
|
rlm@2
|
428 was she feeling this way? It wasn’t like Tomoyo was going away for
|
|
rlm@2
|
429 good. She would see her again. They would still write letters and
|
|
rlm@2
|
430 talk on the phone. They would still be best friends forever. But some
|
|
rlm@2
|
431 of what Tomoyo said had been haunting her, refusing to completely
|
|
rlm@2
|
432 leave. Thoughts of an aching void in her life where Tomoyo had once
|
|
rlm@2
|
433 been were teasing her mind. She didn’t want the morning to come. It
|
|
rlm@2
|
434 would come and snatch Tomoyo away from her like the talons of some
|
|
rlm@2
|
435 ancient dragon. And she would be left alone. Yes, she would have her
|
|
rlm@2
|
436 prince. But was that enough? She felt like her heart was being torn
|
|
rlm@2
|
437 asunder in her chest. Choked sobs escaped her lips as she grasped
|
|
rlm@2
|
438 desperately onto her pale friend.
|
|
rlm@2
|
439 A warm tear dropped down onto Tomoyo’s neck, startling her out of
|
|
rlm@2
|
440 the daze she had fallen into. Holding onto Sakura, swaying in the
|
|
rlm@2
|
441 music had brought time to a standstill. There was no tomorrow. There
|
|
rlm@2
|
442 was no yesterday. There was only now. A bright spot in her life that
|
|
rlm@2
|
443 she would forever hold dear the same as she held onto Sakura at that
|
|
rlm@2
|
444 very moment. But Sakura’s shaky sobs quickly brought her back to the
|
|
rlm@2
|
445 slightly crowded dance floor. She was instantly concerned, but part
|
|
rlm@2
|
446 of her knew the problem already. This was it. This was their
|
|
rlm@2
|
447 farewell. Sakura didn’t know it, but this was the last time they
|
|
rlm@2
|
448 would ever see each other. Sakura was a very emotional woman. Parting
|
|
rlm@2
|
449 must be hell for her. Tomoyo knew how painful it was. She couldn’t
|
|
rlm@2
|
450 bear the thought of being away from Sakura anymore than she could
|
|
rlm@2
|
451 quit breathing. She needed Sakura. All of her. She was the lifeblood
|
|
rlm@2
|
452 of Tomoyo’s life. But at the same time, she knew that she had to go.
|
|
rlm@2
|
453 Oh, she could always pack up and move to Hong Kong. Her mother
|
|
rlm@2
|
454 wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would be easy enough. She could
|
|
rlm@2
|
455 stay nearby and visit Sakura every day. But then she would be
|
|
rlm@2
|
456 dangerously close to throwing away all that she had worked for to
|
|
rlm@2
|
457 make Sakura happy. That would risk damaging her marriage to Syaoran
|
|
rlm@2
|
458 if Tomoyo got too involved and also could ruin their friendship if
|
|
rlm@2
|
459 things progressed any further than they already had. She couldn’t
|
|
rlm@2
|
460 risk Sakura’s happiness for her own selfishness. And she also knew
|
|
rlm@2
|
461 that being so close to Sakura, watching her from such a short
|
|
rlm@2
|
462 distance, her heart pounding every second for her, it would kill her.
|
|
rlm@2
|
463 Just as surely as any knife’s blade. That pain would be even worse
|
|
rlm@2
|
464 than never seeing Sakura again. At least if she left, she knew that
|
|
rlm@2
|
465 Sakura’s happiness would be safe and that she would always have her
|
|
rlm@2
|
466 memories. She could live with that. She had to. But staying would be
|
|
rlm@2
|
467 a form of exquisite torture, slowly tugging and battering the cage in
|
|
rlm@2
|
468 her heart. “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered softly, her lithe
|
|
rlm@2
|
469 fingers stroking the other woman’s back through the thin fabric of
|
|
rlm@2
|
470 her dress. Her head lifted off of Sakura’s shoulder, her eyes meeting
|
|
rlm@2
|
471 Sakura’s as she stood pressed against the Cardmistress. Gentle
|
|
rlm@2
|
472 fingers went up over Sakura’s shoulders, up her neck, and along her
|
|
rlm@2
|
473 cheeks, wiping away Sakura’s warm tears. Tomoyo’s kind, loving gaze
|
|
rlm@2
|
474 penetrated Sakura’s emerald green eyes as she continued to wipe her
|
|
rlm@2
|
475 tears away. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. No matter how far apart
|
|
rlm@2
|
476 we are, I’ll always be with you. My heart will always be tied to
|
|
rlm@2
|
477 yours.”
|
|
rlm@2
|
478 The last of her strength crumbling away from her, Sakura clutched
|
|
rlm@2
|
479 onto Tomoyo, sobbing quietly against her. Her heart cried out to her,
|
|
rlm@2
|
480 those feelings returning stronger, more urgent, but she couldn’t make
|
|
rlm@2
|
481 them out. She didn’t understand. It was like her heart was speaking
|
|
rlm@2
|
482 another language. All she knew was that she didn’t want Tomoyo to go
|
|
rlm@2
|
483 away. The world would be too dark a place. Too bland. Too real.
|
|
rlm@2
|
484 Tomoyo added a dreamlike quality to life, one that always enveloped
|
|
rlm@2
|
485 Sakura. Her days would be too normal without Tomoyo’s eccentric
|
|
rlm@2
|
486 activities and her embarrassing remarks. She would be too weak
|
|
rlm@2
|
487 without Tomoyo’s constant affection and support. She had Syaoran to
|
|
rlm@2
|
488 lean on, but Tomoyo made that unnecessary. She brought up a strength
|
|
rlm@2
|
489 and courage inside Sakura that wasn’t there without her. The thought
|
|
rlm@2
|
490 of never seeing Tomoyo again, disappearing from her life as her
|
|
rlm@2
|
491 mother had so long ago again pierced the chaos inside of her. “Please
|
|
rlm@2
|
492 don’t ever leave me, Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura sobbed.
|
|
rlm@2
|
493 Tomoyo froze at Sakura’s words, unable to do much more than hold
|
|
rlm@2
|
494 onto the grief-stricken Cardmistress. It was as if Sakura had heard
|
|
rlm@2
|
495 her thoughts from earlier that night. Words escaped Tomoyo, eluding
|
|
rlm@2
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496 her tongue as she tried desperately to think. She had never been able
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rlm@2
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497 to lie to Sakura. It was nearly impossible to her. She could omit
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rlm@2
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498 details or hide the truth if she thought it would hurt Sakura, but
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rlm@2
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499 she could never bring herself to lie to the brunette. ‘Sakura-chan,
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rlm@2
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500 it’s for the best. I have to leave. I have to fade out of your life,’
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rlm@2
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501 she thought to herself, not daring to speak the words lest they cause
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rlm@2
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502 even more pain for either of them. Her fingers brushed away still
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rlm@2
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503 more tears that fell past Sakura’s emerald eyes before pushing away
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rlm@2
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504 some of Sakura’s hair. The lavender haired woman’s voice was soft and
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rlm@2
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505 comforting as she gazed deeply into Sakura’s tear stained eyes.
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rlm@2
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506 “Sakura-chan, please don’t cry. It makes me feel bad to see you so
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rlm@2
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507 sad. I promise that I’ll always hold you close to my heart. Wherever
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rlm@2
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508 I am and wherever you are, I’ll always see Sakura-chan when I close
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rlm@2
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509 my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she continued, her
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rlm@2
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510 fingers gently stroking through Sakura’s hair. Her heart ached at the
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rlm@2
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511 sight of Sakura’s tear streaked face. She wanted to take all of that
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rlm@2
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512 pain in Sakura’s eyes and take it for herself. Seeing Sakura in pain
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rlm@2
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513 hurt her infinitely worse than her own suffering. “Sakura-chan, I had
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rlm@2
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514 a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for these golden
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rlm@2
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515 memories. I will treasure them always, even when I’m looking down on
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rlm@2
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516 the earth from above. Because nothing could be more beautiful than
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rlm@2
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517 the moments I’ve spent with you, Sakura-chan. They will always fill
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rlm@2
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518 my heart with joy when I look back on them. It’s exactly why I always
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rlm@2
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519 videotaped you. So I could always watch those captured moments of
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rlm@2
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520 you, so I could hold those little pieces close to my heart. I could
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rlm@2
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521 never leave you, Sakura-chan. Not completely. I may go back home and
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rlm@2
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522 things might get busy in your life. But my heart will always be
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rlm@2
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523 singing to you. Because I’m wrapped up in the ribbons that trail from
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rlm@2
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524 Sakura-chan’s heart.” A small smile blossomed on her lips as her
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rlm@2
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525 hands slowly stroked Sakura’s cheeks.
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rlm@2
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526 Looking back into Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes, Sakura could feel the
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rlm@2
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527 lightening behind them. It was warm, encompassing, and made her whole
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rlm@2
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528 being tingle. Her fear and panic began to dissipate. She was still
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rlm@2
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529 worried about Tomoyo’s trip home, but it felt so far away now. So
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rlm@2
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530 very far away. “I just want to be with you,” Sakura whispered softly,
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rlm@2
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531 hugging the nearly frail woman in her arms.
|
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rlm@2
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532 “That’s all I want, too, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her fingers
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rlm@2
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533 trailing past Sakura’s ear. She continued to gaze into Sakura’s eyes
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rlm@2
|
534 lovingly, her free hand going back to rubbing the brunette’s back.
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rlm@2
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535 “You’ve given me the most wonderful moments in my life. I don’t think
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rlm@2
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536 I can ever repay you. Sakura-chan, you the most beautiful, genki,
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rlm@2
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537 sweet, and amazing person that I have ever met. I don’t think I’ll
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|
rlm@2
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538 ever know how I was lucky enough to meet you. It’s always been easy
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|
rlm@2
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539 for me to see how you could capture hearts with more ease than you
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rlm@2
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540 can capture Cards.” Her smile grew softly, her dark hair teasing
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rlm@2
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541 Sakura’s own. “You mean the world to me, Sakura-chan. No matter what
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rlm@2
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542 happens, just please be happy. Wherever life takes you, I want it to
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|
rlm@2
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543 be a spectacular trip for you, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo barely managed to
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|
rlm@2
|
544 hold up her mask as her mind retread over Sakura’s words, over how
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|
rlm@2
|
545 scared and worried she had looked. Could she leave Sakura? Could she
|
|
rlm@2
|
546 fade out of her life? She knew she had to, for both of their sakes,
|
|
rlm@2
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547 but could she really bring herself to? Especially when she could see
|
|
rlm@2
|
548 so clearly into those beautiful emerald jewels? A part of her told
|
|
rlm@2
|
549 her that she had been wrong, that she had been blinded by her belief
|
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rlm@2
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550 that she couldn’t make Sakura happy, that Sakura needed her every bit
|
|
rlm@2
|
551 as much as she needed Sakura. That thought frightened her deeply.
|
|
rlm@2
|
552 Because if it was right, then what had she done by helping to get
|
|
rlm@2
|
553 Sakura with Syaoran?
|
|
rlm@2
|
554 “But I want you to be happy, Tomoyo-chan. Why can’t we both be
|
|
rlm@2
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555 happy?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. She sounded much calmer now,
|
|
rlm@2
|
556 almost relaxed in their shared embrace. This whole thing was like a
|
|
rlm@2
|
557 riddle. It was stuck in her brain but she couldn’t quite make sense
|
|
rlm@2
|
558 of it. Though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@2
|
559 special person was so lucky to have the love in Tomoyo’s bound heart.
|
|
rlm@2
|
560 But why couldn’t he just wake up and notice how much she needed him?
|
|
rlm@2
|
561 How hurt her love was making her? Sakura couldn’t understand how
|
|
rlm@2
|
562 anyone could not return Tomoyo’s love with the same impassioned
|
|
rlm@2
|
563 fervor that the dark haired woman herself was capable of. It bathed
|
|
rlm@2
|
564 Sakura in its gentle glow, sheltering her from the cold and
|
|
rlm@2
|
565 loneliness. Again the urgent howl of feelings inside her almost made
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|
rlm@2
|
566 her jump. It was as if they were struggling to break free. But still,
|
|
rlm@2
|
567 Sakura couldn’t understand. They grew fiercer in her heart, trying
|
|
rlm@2
|
568 desperately to bubble out of the Cardmistress. Tomoyo was the focus
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|
rlm@2
|
569 of them, she new that. Strong, heated, deep feelings that ran
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|
rlm@2
|
570 throughout her were boiling in her heart. They were nearly screaming
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rlm@2
|
571 at her. She felt like she only had one chance. But one chance for
|
|
rlm@2
|
572 what?
|
|
rlm@2
|
573 Tomoyo smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She held onto
|
|
rlm@2
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574 Sakura warmly, her hand still moving from the small of Sakura’s back
|
|
rlm@2
|
575 up to her shoulder blades. “I’m happy as long as Saku...” Sakura cute
|
|
rlm@2
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576 her off, her lips meeting Tomoyo’s in a delightful peck that took
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|
rlm@2
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577 Tomoyo by complete surprise. She had certainly not been expecting
|
|
rlm@2
|
578 that from the brunette. Her own feelings had become such a mystery to
|
|
rlm@2
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579 her as of late and Sakura’s increased affection ever since her
|
|
rlm@2
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580 arrival had made things even more difficult for her to decipher. Her
|
|
rlm@2
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581 pale cheeks darkened as she felt the lips against her own again, this
|
|
rlm@2
|
582 time kissing longer. The young woman pulled her magical best friend
|
|
rlm@2
|
583 into a closer embrace, returning the kiss herself. It tasted sweeter
|
|
rlm@2
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584 than anything the banquet or the restaurant had to offer. The silky
|
|
rlm@2
|
585 touch of Sakura’s lips was softer than any fabric she had ever
|
|
rlm@2
|
586 handled. It was magical, a brief moment where she got more than just
|
|
rlm@2
|
587 images or momentos of Sakura. She had a piece of her soul.
|
|
rlm@2
|
588 Thinking back on it, Sakura couldn’t say exactly why she had kissed
|
|
rlm@2
|
589 Tomoyo. Only that she had to. That every ounce of her being had been
|
|
rlm@2
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590 wholeheartedly for the idea and that she had merely carried through
|
|
rlm@2
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591 with it. The single kiss she and Tomoyo had shared several nights
|
|
rlm@2
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592 before had been the most powerful kiss Sakura had ever felt in her
|
|
rlm@2
|
593 life. Not for the way Tomoyo kissed, no. Tomoyo’s kisses were
|
|
rlm@2
|
594 delicate, like sweet butterflies, gentle and slow. But it was the way
|
|
rlm@2
|
595 it grasped onto her heart and soul and burned through her with a
|
|
rlm@2
|
596 strength that made her feel truly alive. More alive than she had ever
|
|
rlm@2
|
597 felt in her life. Right there. With Tomoyo. The kiss lengthened,
|
|
rlm@2
|
598 Tomoyo’s petal soft lips parting her own ever so slightly as it
|
|
rlm@2
|
599 continued. Sakura could do nothing but hold tightly onto the dark
|
|
rlm@2
|
600 haired woman, hoping once more that the morning would never come. Her
|
|
rlm@2
|
601 fingers found themselves at home in Tomoyo’s luxurious lavender hair,
|
|
rlm@2
|
602 brushing through the soft curls. “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered as
|
|
rlm@2
|
603 she finally gasped for breath. Her body was nearly shuddering but not
|
|
rlm@2
|
604 from lack of air. Tomoyo’s pale cheeks had reached a beautiful
|
|
rlm@2
|
605 crimson hue that she was sure her own were probably matching at the
|
|
rlm@2
|
606 moment. “Hanyaa...”
|
|
rlm@2
|
607 A musical giggle escaped Tomoyo at that. She was still a little
|
|
rlm@2
|
608 surprised by Sakura’s sudden action, but she was glad for it. If only
|
|
rlm@2
|
609 she could save kisses in her scrapbook as easily as she could store
|
|
rlm@2
|
610 photos. But this was something she was sure her memory would never
|
|
rlm@2
|
611 forget, even if it would be nice to have videotaped the event. It got
|
|
rlm@2
|
612 rid of any doubts she may have had about Sakura’s involvement in the
|
|
rlm@2
|
613 previous kiss. This time there had been no prompting. Sakura was the
|
|
rlm@2
|
614 one who had kissed her. She felt delightedly thrilled at that. Sakura
|
|
rlm@2
|
615 had kissed her. What a wonderful way to bring her last night in Hong
|
|
rlm@2
|
616 Kong to a close. With a kiss from Sakura. Time may not be able to
|
|
rlm@2
|
617 stop on a single moment, but those moments were forever carried
|
|
rlm@2
|
618 forward as long as they were held onto by a loving heart. “Thank you
|
|
rlm@2
|
619 again for everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll never forget any of this.
|
|
rlm@2
|
620 You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could possibly be.”
|
|
rlm@2
|
621 Smiling sweetly, she kissed Sakura’s cheek. A dreamy sigh escaped her
|
|
rlm@2
|
622 lips as she tilted her head to the side. “Sakura-chan is a such a
|
|
rlm@2
|
623 fantastic kisser. So genki.”
|
|
rlm@2
|
624 Sakura felt herself blushing at Tomoyo’s words. But it hardly seemed
|
|
rlm@2
|
625 to matter. She hugged her best friend tightly, feeling fuzzy and
|
|
rlm@2
|
626 peaceful and content again, though her frazzled thoughts still longed
|
|
rlm@2
|
627 for more, to feel those creamy lips again. She shook her head,
|
|
rlm@2
|
628 blushing darker. She had no idea why kissing Tomoyo affected her so
|
|
rlm@2
|
629 deeply, but she loved the way it felt, both during the kiss and in
|
|
rlm@2
|
630 her arms afterwards. If only... Her eyes widened after they finally
|
|
rlm@2
|
631 fell upon her watch. Just how long had they been dancing? “Tomoyo-
|
|
rlm@2
|
632 chan, we need to get home if we’re going to get you packed in time
|
|
rlm@2
|
633 for your flight and if you’re going to get any sleep.”
|
|
rlm@2
|
634 “I can always sleep on the plane, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said sweetly,
|
|
rlm@2
|
635 stroking Sakura’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I want to spend the
|
|
rlm@2
|
636 last of my time with you.” This was it. Her last few hours with
|
|
rlm@2
|
637 Sakura. She wanted to do anything but sleep at the moment, her heart
|
|
rlm@2
|
638 racing as she enjoyed the close proximity to her friend. All she
|
|
rlm@2
|
639 wanted was to be with Sakura for as long as she could. To be with her
|
|
rlm@2
|
640 Cardmistress until she was finally pulled away. Her eyes sparkled as
|
|
rlm@2
|
641 she watched Sakura, each gentle caress whispering her love to the
|
|
rlm@2
|
642 brunette.
|
|
rlm@2
|
643 Sakura hugged Tomoyo tightly and nodded. Sleep seemed to be the
|
|
rlm@2
|
644 furthest thing from her mind as well. She had finally gotten Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@2
|
645 up to Hong Kong and she wanted to hold onto her forever. “Would you
|
|
rlm@2
|
646 like to dance again?” Sakura asked curiously.
|
|
rlm@2
|
647 “With all my heart, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered in reply, her
|
|
rlm@2
|
648 eyes never leaving Sakura’s. There was only now. And in this now,
|
|
rlm@2
|
649 there was only herself and Sakura. Tomorrow could wait.
|
|
rlm@2
|
650
|
