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1 Forgotten
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2
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3
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4 by Althea K.
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5
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6
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7 It had been nearly a year since meeting the girl on the bridge, but her name (lain) was still lodged in Arisu's brain like a bullet. The girl had assured her that they had never met before, but Arisu still couldn't shake the feeling that they had. She went on with her life
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8 just as if she had never seen the girl that day, only mildly distracted by her presence in her mind (lain); life with her husband was pleasant and comfortable and she wasn't quite bothered enough by the peculiar incident (lain) to dwell on it too much. It was often
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9 only when she was alone (lain) that she found herself thinking on it.
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10
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11
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12 The kitchen took on a bleak blue cast on rainy days, and the rain trickling down the window panes always reminded Arisu of tears.
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13
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14
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15 "Who are you crying for today, Kami-sama?" (lain) she mumbled absently as she washed dishes still decorated with remnants of breakfast. A shiver (lain) suddenly raced up her spine and she paused in her task. Soap suds ran down her hands in time with the
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16 rain. (lain) "So cold... And dark." She glanced across the room at the light switch. It hadn't been so dark when she had first set out to clean the dishes, but the food had been congealing all day and was stuck fiercly to the surfaces, which made the task even more
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17 trying to Arisu, who had never especially liked cleaning in the first place. The room had grown dark as she worked, and now, still not done, Arisu regretted not turning on the light while her hands were still dry. "Damn," she sighed. "I never should've promised that I'd
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18 clean up..." She stood for a moment, trying to decide whether to dry her hands and turn on the light or just to stay in the dark, and she suddenly found her mind had wandered back to that day (lain). "Hmmm..." She shook her head. "So strange." She sighed again
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19 and turned her head to grant her a view of the windows. "And sad. It was... sad." The girl (lain) smiled at her from her memory, that smile which confused her as much as the strange sense of deja vu (lain) the girl had stirred within her. That smile had shown a pain and knowledge that the girl had not spoken of, and her eyes seemed just as knowing and hurt when they had locked into Arisu's. A warmth was burried deep within them, underneath the sadness that gave such age to eyes that should have been so young, a curious glow that had left Arisu breathless for a moment before she had remembered herself.
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20
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21
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22 A soft knock at the door snapped Arisu back into the present day. She stared in a daze for a moment before realizing what had happened, then reached for a cloth to wipe her hands on. "Just a moment!" she called, absentmindedly tucking a stray whisp of dark
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23 brown hair behind her ear. (lain lain lain lain lain lain lain lain lain lain lain) The instant her hand wrapped around the doorknob she was struck with the overwhelming and illogical feeling that it would be the girl standing at the other side of the door.
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24
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25
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26 (lainlainlainlainlainlainlainlainlainlainlainlainlain) She twisted the knob and opened the door to the length of the chain locking it, then put her eye to the crack. "He---" Her voice died in her throat.
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27
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28
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29 "Hello."
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30
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31
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32 "L-lain..."
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33
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34
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35 The short, soft-faced girl smiled brightly. "You remember me."
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36
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37
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38 "Iwakura Lain... isn't it?" Arisu unlocked the door and opened it the rest of the way.
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39
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40
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41 "You said we might meet again, didn't you?" It was hard to tell whether she was teasing.
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42
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43
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44 Arisu stood in the doorway staring for a long moment. "H-how.." Her voice cracked and she paused to clear her throat nervously.
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45
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46
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47 "How did you find where I live?"
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48
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49
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50 Lain smiled, tilted her head to one side, and lied: "I looked it up."
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51
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52
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53 "D-did I give you my full name?"
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54
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55
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56 "I suppose you must have."
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57
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58
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59 "I don't remember telling you my family name..."
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60
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61
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62 Lain's eyes dulled suddenly. Arisu was unnerved by her strange stare. Then her eyes began to shine again. "I think I do. Do you think it happened, then?"
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63
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64
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65 "I... I don't get you."
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66
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67
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68 "That's alright. It doesn't matter. May I come in?"
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69
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70
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71 "I guess..." Arisu glanced around. "Did you come with your parents?"
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72
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73
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74 Lain frowned. "I have no parents."
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75
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76
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77 "Oh. I'm sorry." Arisu's eyes softened.
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78
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79
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80 "It's alright. I've gotten used to it." Arisu turned aside to let her in, shutting and locking the door behind her. "Hmm... Dark in here, isn't it?"
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81
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82
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83 Arisu flicked on the light. "Sorry."
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84
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85
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86 "Say..." Lain turned to look up at her hostess. "Aren't you concerned about what your husband would think if he found out you let a stranger into the house when you're all alone?"
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87
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88
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89 (lain) Arisu's heart stopped. "W-what?" She steadied herself against a wall. "How did you know I'm alone?"
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90
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91
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92 Lain hesitated, hovering for a moment between complete honesty and a half-truth. "There's only one car in your driveway."
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93
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94
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95 "Oh..." She giggled nervously. "I'm sorry; I'm just a little freaked out."
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96
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97
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98 "Don't worry about it. I'd've been suspicious too."
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99
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100
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101 "Uhm, won't you sit down? I'll make us some tea, if you like."
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102
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103
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104 "Thank you." Lain sat down at the kitchen table, her feet not quite reaching the floor from the height of the chair. She slowly ran her eyes around the room as Arisu prepared the tea. "You have a nice place."
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105
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106
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107 "Thank you." They chatted pleasantly over the tea, despite Arisu's poorly concealed wonderment at the ability of one clearly so young to speak to her as if an adult (lain).
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108
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109
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110 Glancing at the clock as she set down her emptied cup, Lain announced: "I should probably leave soon. Your husband'll be home in a few hours and you should really finish cleaning up. A promise is a promise, isn't it?"
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111
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112
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113 "W-what??" Arisu's hand tightened around her teacup. (lain)
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114
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115
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116 "Careful. You'll break it."
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117
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118
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119 "H-how did you know all that? How... I-I..."
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120
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121
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122 Lain smiled sadly as she rose from her chair. "I know everything." She gently pried Arisu's fingers from around the cup.
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123
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124
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125 "I don't understand..."
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126
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127
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128 "You don't need to." She held Arisu's hand for a long moment, then turned to move for the door. She paused not far from the door, lingering there for a long moment.
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129
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130
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131 "What is it?" Arisu finally asked.
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132
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133
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134 "Why don't you want me to leave?"
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135
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136 Arisu gave a start (lain). Lain peeked over her shoulder and smiled. "I know everything... that doesn't mean I understand everything."
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137
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138
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139 "..."
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140
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141
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142 "Arisu..." Lain turned to face her. Arisu stared at her, completely unable to read her (lain). "May I tell you a story?"
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143
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144
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145 She blinked. "A story?"
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146
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147
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148 "Yes. It's something that you don't know."
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149
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150
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151 "I thought you were about to leave." Lain gave her an awkward look, then angled her face downward slightly. Arisu laughed, relieved by the childishness of the action. Lain peered up at her in mild confusion. "Alright, Lain-chan. Tell me a story if you really want to."
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152
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153
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154 Lain half-smiled at her, eyes filled with a sudden and deep sorrow that disturbed her. "It happened not so many years ago, but it seems a much longer time ago than it really was. You were still just a girl, no older than I..." (lain)
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155
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156
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157 Arisu worried her brow. "The story's about me?"
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158
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159
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160 Lain continued, apparently ignoring Arisu's surprise. "There was a girl in your grade who was shy and withdrawn, and you were the nicest person she ever met. Even when she lost herself in a world that you didn't understand and everything about her was changing,"
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161 (lain) "you stayed her friend. All of her friends were people she connected with in the Wired.. except for you. You were her friend without needing to connect to her through those means. You were her only real friend." Her eyes shone wet with unshed tears. "You
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162 were the only thing that was real in her life. You were all that she had outside of the Wired." There was a sudden pause. Arisu sat in silence, paralyzed, as she watched Lain's childish face contort with pain (lain). When she resumed, her voice was unsteady.
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163
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164 "Even when bad things happened, you were still her friend. And so when she changed everyone else's memories so that the bad things never happened, she left your memory untouched.
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165
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166
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167 "But you... You couldn't understand why. You didn't want to live with those memories. She didn't mean to hurt you, but..." She shook her head. "One day, you finally couldn't take it anymore, and you went to see her and to demand to know why it was you alone that
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168 had to remember. Her house was completely wrecked... By the time you reached her room, you were terrified. And if you hadn't been by then, one look at her room would've been enough to do it. She was practically burried in wires, surrounded by computers... The conditions were inhuman, and you wondered then if maybe your friend had somehow become inhuman herself." (lain)
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169
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170 "She certainly didn't look human... When she approached you, still draped in wires, she looked almost like an apparition; her skin was so pale.." Lain sniffled quietly. "You started to cry. You begged her to tell you why you had to remember everything. She..."
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171
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172 She sniffled again.
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173
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174
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175 "She hadn't realized until then that it would hurt you. She never wanted to hurt you. But you didn't understand her motivations... You thought she did it because she hated you.
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176 "But you were wrong. She could never hate you for anything." A tear ran down her cheek, and was quickly wiped away. It wasn't until that moment that Arisu realized that she had at some point begun to cry as well. "She had never considered that it might hurt you to
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177 remember, and the sight of your tears was such a sad beauty that she almost couldn't bear it." (lain)
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178
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179 "Knowing that you thought she hated you was a deeper hurt than anything she had ever felt. She crawled as close to you as she could, trying to explain herself to you, mesmerized by your tears.. She never hated you at all. But you didn't seem to understand.. She tried to explain to you, but..."
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180
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181
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182 Lain shook her head again. "She tried to kiss you, and you backed away. And when she tried to kiss you again..." Her voice choked off. For several minutes, the only sound was of the rain.
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183
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184 "And later..." Lain began again. "Later... You held her hand against your heart. You wanted her to understand that she was human, that she was wrong about it all.. She asked you why your heart was pounding, but... But she never told you..."
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185
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186
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187 "What?" Arisu whispered through her tears. "What didn't she tell me?"
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188
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189
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190 "Her heart was pounding, too." Lain brought one hand to hover over her heart. "It was pounding so hard.. But you couldn't hear it. You never felt it, that maddening heartbeat.. You said your heart was pounding because you were scared. Was that really why?" She
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191 locked Arisu in her desperate gaze.
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192
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193
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194 "I... I don't know.. I d-don't..." She closed her eyes and clasped her hands together firmly in her lap to stop their shaking (lain).
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195
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196
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197 "Please... I c-can't... I don-n't.." Tears dropped down onto her hands, turning cold as they made their passage from her face. "I don't unders-stand.. why... y-you're.." Her breath came in short, burdened gasps. She began to slump forward slowly, retreating to a fetal
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198 position.
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199
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200
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201 "The girl was me." (lain)
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202
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203
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204 The world held still for a full three seconds.
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205
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206 Arisu's head jerked up to let her stare with her blurred and reddened eyes at the girl before her, breaking her out of the temporary state of paralysis. "W-what??" There was no trace of humor or deception on the girl's face. "B-but... That... That's not *possible*!! T-the age d-difference..." (lain)
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207
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208 "It... it can't.." Arisu closed her eyes again and began to shake her head.
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209
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210
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211 "It's true."
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212
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213
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214 "It's not POSSIBLE!!!" Arisu clamped her fingers onto her skull as if she could crush the thought out of her mind. Her chair clattered to the ground as she shot to her feet and staggered backward blindly to lean against the wall once again.
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215
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216
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217 "It's true."
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218
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219
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220 "No... No..." she whimpered.
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221
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222
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223 "I love you."
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224
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225
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226 Her fingers loosened. "What?" As she opened her eyes again, more tears spilled down her face. Lain stood just a short distance away from her, the glow in her eyes stronger in that moment than it had been on the bridge, as strong as it had been that day so many years ago, the last day of Iwakura Lain's known existance.
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227
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228
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229 "I was afraid to come find you again. I hesitated for so long... I didn't trust myself. But I just couldn't stay away... I missed you too much... I love you too much... I had to see you again. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have given in.. I didn't want to interfere with your
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230 happy life. I wanted so much to make you happy, and now I've stupidly let myself meddle in it all..." She offered Arisu a small, pained smile. "I guess I messed up everything again, hunh?"
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231
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232
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233 Arisu blinked slowly, feeling lost in a sudden haze (lain). "Did the lights just dim?" she murmered sleepily.
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234
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235 Lain smiled softly, sorrow and pain still hovering like a mist about her. "Don't worry about that." Lain reached out and gently took Arisu's hand again. "It won't matter."
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236
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237
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238 "What.. do you..." Arisu felt her muscles relaxing against her will, her body sliding down the wall. Lain moved to gather her into her arms. (lain) She fought against her drooping eyelids to look into the girl's eyes once more. She let out a small whimper as she
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239 struggled to bring her into focus. "Everything... is... f-fading..." (lain)
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240
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241
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242 "It's alright. It's alright." Arisu dimly felt fingers whispering through her hair.
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243
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244
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245 "P-please... help..." (l-lain) "Please..." She could barely see at all anymore. (lai-)
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246
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247
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248 "Don't worry." Her voice sounded as if it had traveled the distance of the universe (la--) before it could reach Arisu's ears. The warmth of being held eased the terror of the slow fading of all her senses, and Arisu allowed herself a shaky smile. "I'm so sorry, Arisu."
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249
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250 The voice sounded so muted and distant that Arisu couldn't tell whether she was imagining it or if she really heard it. (l-la--)
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251
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252
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253 "For what?" Arisu managed to whisper. She could barely make out the slight curve of Lain's lonesome smile. As everything finally faded to utter darkness, Arisu thought she felt the slight pressure of lips against her forehead.
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254
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255
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256 And when she awoke, the girl (----) had never been.
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257
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258
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259
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260
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261 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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262
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263
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264
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265
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266 (Harumph. I probably should've just stuck with the utenaanthy fic I'd originally planned on submitting... Darn that stupid telephone company. *shrug* Well, whatever. Oh, yes... I should probably have a disclaimer here, right? Ok then. Serial experiments lain and its
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rlm@0
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267 characters do not belong to me, but to... someone... talented... and cool. But I'm too lazy to go see who it is. Heh. And they will continue to not belong to me, no matter how much I giggle over Lain's adorable pajamas, no matter how much I want to play with Arisu's hair, no matter how much I drool over Mika, and no matter how much I want one of those pocket communicators. Alright, I think that pretty much covers it... *walks off humming Duvet, as she's been listening to the BOA cd that came with the lunch box set over and over throughout writing all this... pathetically enough*)
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rlm@0
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268
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rlm@0
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269
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