annotate old/stories/tomoyostory.txt @ 4:69f0191c9016 moonlitnights tip

added error.log and access.log
author Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu>
date Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:42:35 -0400
parents fc00894c1d4a
children
rev   line source
rlm@2 1
rlm@2 2 Love is the Crooked Thing
rlm@2 3
rlm@2 4 By G. P.
rlm@2 5
rlm@2 6 Comments can be sent to the author at: treeandleaf2002@yahoo.com
rlm@2 7 Note: All characters and names are copyright CLAMP. This work is in
rlm@2 8 no way meant to infringe upon their intellectual property rights.
rlm@2 9
rlm@2 10
rlm@2 11 BROWN PENNY by William Butler Yeats
rlm@2 12
rlm@2 13 I WHISPERED, "I am too young,"
rlm@2 14 And then, "I am old enough";
rlm@2 15 Wherefore I threw a penny
rlm@2 16 To find out if I might love.
rlm@2 17 "Go and love, go and love, young man,
rlm@2 18 If the lady be young and fair."
rlm@2 19 Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
rlm@2 20 I am looped in the loops of her hair.
rlm@2 21
rlm@2 22 O love is the crooked thing,
rlm@2 23 There is nobody wise enough
rlm@2 24 To find out all that is in it,
rlm@2 25 For he would be thinking of love
rlm@2 26 Till the stars had run away
rlm@2 27 And the shadows eaten the moon.
rlm@2 28 Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
rlm@2 29 One cannot begin it too soon.
rlm@2 30
rlm@2 31
rlm@2 32
rlm@2 33
rlm@2 34
rlm@2 35 Drawing a deep breath, pursing her lips in hesitant uncertainty,
rlm@2 36 Sakura flicked the clasp of The Book. Like a shot, the click
rlm@2 37 resounded loudly in the dimly lit room. Glancing up nervously, half-
rlm@2 38 expecting the entire household to come running, Sakura let out a
rlm@2 39 long, shaky sigh,.
rlm@2 40
rlm@2 41 "Hoeeee, should I be doing this?"
rlm@2 42
rlm@2 43 And without Kero to help, too. Another wave of ambivalence swept her
rlm@2 44 pajama-clad form as she hugged herself tightly in the chill night
rlm@2 45 air. For almost a month, she had been in turmoil, a gripping, minute-
rlm@2 46 to-minute whirlwind of heartsick emotion. Knitting her brow, Sakura
rlm@2 47 concentrated on the cards, willing them to come forth. Like leaves in
rlm@2 48 a storm they fluttered from the book, lightly spinning in a
rlm@2 49 breezeless swirl. Carefully reciting their names, Sakura closed her
rlm@2 50 eyes, hearing them fall softly to the table. Then, silence.
rlm@2 51
rlm@2 52 Blinking her green eyes open, she stared at the two piles neatly
rlm@2 53 stacked before her. Sakura gently placed the bigger pile back in the
rlm@2 54 book, closing the cover and clasping the golden latch with a decisive
rlm@2 55 "snick".
rlm@2 56
rlm@2 57 "All right, how did we do it before? 'Divide 4 with your left hand,
rlm@2 58 in any order you like'"
rlm@2 59
rlm@2 60 She remembered Kero coaching her the first time, sagely fluttering
rlm@2 61 about as she arranged the cards. Oneechan had been in terrible
rlm@2 62 danger, tricked by an illusion of Mirror. She had felt his danger as
rlm@2 63 a cold fist gripping her heart, squeezing tightly. The feeling now
rlm@2 64 was just as intense, but so very different: not cold, but hot, not
rlm@2 65 sharp and focused, but wild and dizzying.
rlm@2 66
rlm@2 67 "There"
rlm@2 68
rlm@2 69 She looked down at the 10 cards, arranged in three neat rows of
rlm@2 70 three, with one set to the right side. Closing her eyes again, she
rlm@2 71 began to chant,
rlm@2 72
rlm@2 73 "Cards made by Clow, answer my question. Show me the truth of the
rlm@2 74 situation before me".
rlm@2 75
rlm@2 76 Speaking these last words, her heart fluttered as she drew a quick
rlm@2 77 breath. Thinking, do I really want to know the truth? For a month she
rlm@2 78 had not. She had turned away, closed her eyes, and desperately tried
rlm@2 79 to shut out the feelings that battered against her. Like a frightened
rlm@2 80 animal she had run, in sheer terror, from her own confused emotions.
rlm@2 81 But every day those feelings caught her, like baying hounds that
rlm@2 82 could not be stilled, hot breath on her neck, eagerly flushing her
rlm@2 83 into the open and cruelly driving her to ground. She shivered again,
rlm@2 84 sensing a whirling wind above the cards as her chant took effect. Her
rlm@2 85 auburn-red hair was lifted and tossed as her pajamas rustled and
rlm@2 86 flapped in the breeze. When the little zephyr died out, she blinked
rlm@2 87 her eyes open, gazing at the middle card in the top most row.
rlm@2 88
rlm@2 89 "This is who is talking to me?"
rlm@2 90
rlm@2 91 With a strangely steady hand, for the nervousness had drained away,
rlm@2 92 The Mistress of the Cards turned over... The Flower.
rlm@2 93
rlm@2 94 "Eeeehhhh?"
rlm@2 95
rlm@2 96 Puzzled, Sakura stared at the card, a sweat drop forming. Flower?
rlm@2 97 Not some Card of power and drama, like Dream, or Sword, or Windy?
rlm@2 98 Flower?! It was more than disappointing, it was…. irritating. For all
rlm@2 99 the wrenching agony she'd been through in the past weeks, it was
rlm@2 100 Flower that was talking to her?
rlm@2 101
rlm@2 102 "This can't be right", she mumbled to herself. But it all looked
rlm@2 103 right, no, it felt right, too. If she didn't know the source of the
rlm@2 104 feelings that wracked her, she at least knew the Cards. And this was
rlm@2 105 right.
rlm@2 106
rlm@2 107 "OK, Flower. I found you at the School Festival, practically
rlm@2 108 drowning us in petals. Kero said you like people, and parties, and
rlm@2 109 fun, and, " Sakura felt a blush creeping up her neck, "and you danced
rlm@2 110 with me, hee". Hannyann! After the shock wore off it had been kind of
rlm@2 111 fun, dancing on the rooftop among the scents of a thousand blossoms.
rlm@2 112
rlm@2 113 So, it was Flower that called to her. But looking at the Card,
rlm@2 114 Sakura could not believe that so gentle a thing could cause such
rlm@2 115 stormy feelings. With a quick breath, Sakura remembered yesterday in
rlm@2 116 school. Fidgety in class, the teacher calling her who knows how many
rlm@2 117 times before she came to, Tomoyo tugging desperately at her sleeve,
rlm@2 118 smiling as always. She remembered furious words with Li, stomping
rlm@2 119 away from the puzzled and angry boy. And even Tomoyo! Turning her
rlm@2 120 back on her very best friend, running away, sobbing. Wiping away the
rlm@2 121 tears with her pajama sleeve, she remembered the image of Tomoyo,
rlm@2 122 crushed, hurt beyond measure, clutching her hands tightly as Sakura
rlm@2 123 raced away from her. Guiltily looking at the pink cell phone, knowing
rlm@2 124 who had tried to call her all night before turning it off. Thinking,
rlm@2 125 “Now, I'm even hurting Tomoyo-chan”.
rlm@2 126
rlm@2 127 That's why she had to know, she could not put it off. Not knowing
rlm@2 128 the feelings that battered her was painful, but now it was hurting
rlm@2 129 the people that she loved so dearly.
rlm@2 130
rlm@2 131 “Well,” she thought, “let's see just who, or what, is behind all of
rlm@2 132 this.” Looking decisievely at the middle row of cards, she reached
rlm@2 133 out and turned them over, 1, 2, 3.
rlm@2 134
rlm@2 135
rlm@2 136 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
rlm@2 137
rlm@2 138
rlm@2 139 The emerald eyes widened as she scanned the cards. This made even
rlm@2 140 less sense than Flower trying to talk to her. There was nothing sweet
rlm@2 141 about the agony she had been feeling. Her heart racing and stopping,
rlm@2 142 flushed hot and cold, dizzy and spinney with a longing that was
rlm@2 143 tearing her apart. And a Silent Song? That was impossible,
rlm@2 144 ridiculous. What sort of song can be silent? TV with the sound off?
rlm@2 145 Karaoke? A broken CD player? But again, the Cards felt right.
rlm@2 146 Whoever, or whatever, was causing her to suffer was there on the
rlm@2 147 table, spelled out in three Clow Cards.
rlm@2 148
rlm@2 149 Closing her eyes, Sakura concentrated, as hard as she ever had. The
rlm@2 150 world fell away, room and house and family and friends and the whole
rlm@2 151 wide world vanishing into an inner darkness. Only three cards in a
rlm@2 152 black, velvety silence. Concentrate! For untold minutes, her
rlm@2 153 breathing stilled, heart barely beating, there nothing but the three
rlm@2 154 cards. All thoughts and feelings drifting away like incense at a
rlm@2 155 temple, wispy little nothings in the vast dark. And then, she heard it.
rlm@2 156
rlm@2 157 From far, far away, down a tunnel or a tube or a cave, barely
rlm@2 158 audible in the inky midnight, a voice...no, a song! Sweet beyond
rlm@2 159 words, charming, alluring, and hauntingly beautiful. Sakura's heart
rlm@2 160 suddenly pounding, racing away from her as a stormy, thundering
rlm@2 161 whirlwind ripped apart the darkness, drowning out the faint melody.
rlm@2 162 With a shuddering gasp, she came to, reeling, dizzy, the cards on
rlm@2 163 the table slowly coming into focus:
rlm@2 164
rlm@2 165 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
rlm@2 166
rlm@2 167
rlm@2 168 Breathing heavily, her fists in tight little balls, Sakura forced
rlm@2 169 herself to calm down. Only one more. Pursing her lips, she glanced at
rlm@2 170 the outside Card, separate, alone in it's own little row. This is the
rlm@2 171 card that will tell me where. With mounting excitement, she reached
rlm@2 172 for the card, then hesitated. What would she do when she knew? In a
rlm@2 173 way, the not knowing was easier. Painful, yes, but not knowing was
rlm@2 174 easier, safer, and more comfortable, because by not knowing, she did
rlm@2 175 not have to do anything. With a smile, Sakura suddenly reached for
rlm@2 176 the final card. She knew herself well enough. When she knew, she
rlm@2 177 would act. From the very first sounds in the basement, she had faced
rlm@2 178 whatever came along. Sometimes fearfully, sometimes with a push or a
rlm@2 179 tug from Kero or Li, but she had met the cards, one by one. Her
rlm@2 180 little hand reached out, flipping the final card over.
rlm@2 181
rlm@2 182 The Maze.
rlm@2 183
rlm@2 184 Well, this at least made sense. Total, complete sense. Because
rlm@2 185 whatever, or whoever, was affecting her so severely was hidden far,
rlm@2 186 far away. It almost seemed that she had been in a maze herself for
rlm@2 187 weeks, stumbling up and down one blind alley after another. Fear of
rlm@2 188 the time she and Li and Tomoyo were trapped in the Maze dissipated as
rlm@2 189 her confidence burned brightly.
rlm@2 190
rlm@2 191 "This is a maze I can understand.” Sakura’s once gentle face was set
rlm@2 192 with an iron determination. Smiling, she whispered, “Now I'll find
rlm@2 193 you".
rlm@2 194
rlm@2 195 Standing up, Sakura tightly clasped the Key at her breast.
rlm@2 196
rlm@2 197
rlm@2 198 “Oh Key that hides the power of darkness, obey your Mistress”.
rlm@2 199 Arching over the table, the girl picked up the Maze card and tossed
rlm@2 200 it in the air as her room dissolved into golden light. Twirling her
rlm@2 201 staff above her head, Sakura lunged and struck the fluttering card.
rlm@2 202
rlm@2 203 “Release"!
rlm@2 204
rlm@2 205
rlm@2 206 Part 2
rlm@2 207 In the Labyrinth
rlm@2 208
rlm@2 209 Standing at the gaping entrance of the maze, feeling a cool breeze
rlm@2 210 from the deep dark within, Sakura suddenly wavered as a sickly fear
rlm@2 211 settled upon her. There would be no help if she entered, no Tomoyo or
rlm@2 212 Li or Mizuki-sensei to fetch her out. If she went in it was alone,
rlm@2 213 except for whatever awaited within. Drawing a deep breath, she
rlm@2 214 stepped lightly across the threshold, the golden light swallowed up
rlm@2 215 behind her. As her eyes adjusted to the dim contours of the smooth
rlm@2 216 walls, a sudden thought brought her to an equally sudden stop,
rlm@2 217
rlm@2 218 “And once I’m in, how will I ever get out?” With a quick smile she
rlm@2 219 drew the Flower Card and flicked it into the air. “Release! And leave
rlm@2 220 a trail of petals that follows my every step!”
rlm@2 221 Now, with every step a gentle rain of pink sakura petals marked her
rlm@2 222 way. Plunging into the darkness, the tiny pajama-clad figure listened
rlm@2 223 for the haunting strains of Song. But all was silent, save for the
rlm@2 224 soft shuffling of her own feet.
rlm@2 225
rlm@2 226 On and on she went, sometimes doubling back, sometimes spiraling
rlm@2 227 around and around as the gray walls curved and looped. Finally, after
rlm@2 228 what seemed like hours, Sakura slumped against the wall in an
rlm@2 229 exhausted and frustrated heap.
rlm@2 230
rlm@2 231 “I’m going nowhere like this”. She shut her eyes tight, listening,
rlm@2 232 hearing only silence. “OK, stop walking, and concentrate. Concentrate…”
rlm@2 233
rlm@2 234 Three Cards: The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
rlm@2 235
rlm@2 236 She had heard the Song, sweet and melodic, faint but clear and
rlm@2 237 compelling. Now, there was only silence. The three cards were keys to
rlm@2 238 what had plunged her into turmoil for the past month. Her senses,
rlm@2 239 made keen and sharp by the year of hunting the Cards, could not
rlm@2 240 detect the presence of a Clow Card in all of this. With analytic
rlm@2 241 eyes, she turned to the stormy emotions that had beset her
rlm@2 242 since...since when?
rlm@2 243
rlm@2 244 "Since I found out about Yue".
rlm@2 245
rlm@2 246 Yue, the real Yukito; and so coldly different. With a wistful
rlm@2 247 sadness she recalled lights like falling stars at the festival, a
rlm@2 248 gentle glance, the lazy arc of a candy thrown from a bike. Her
rlm@2 249 affection for him was undimmed, but, changed somehow. She shook her
rlm@2 250 head, jumped up with a start, and began walking again. Since Yue,
rlm@2 251 there had been an emptiness, a hole in her heart where a chill breeze
rlm@2 252 blew. But the strange, powerful feelings that wracked her were not
rlm@2 253 because of Yue, not about him at all. Or, rather, it was because he
rlm@2 254 was gone that those sweet, painful feelings were unleashed. It was as
rlm@2 255 if a dam had broken, and a flood of emotion, long bottled up, had
rlm@2 256 gushed forth sweeping all before it.
rlm@2 257
rlm@2 258
rlm@2 259 Sweet, painful feelings. She stopped, standing quite still, and
rlm@2 260 closed her eyes. Sweet feelings? Yes, they were. They hurt, they
rlm@2 261 hounded her, and they had turned her life inside out. And yet, there
rlm@2 262 was an intense, breathless sweetness. It was like the delightful
rlm@2 263 feeling she had had with Yukito, or Mizuki-sensei, hannyann! But
rlm@2 264 wrapped tightly with a longing, an aching sense of incompleteness,
rlm@2 265 and an intensity that frightened her as no Clow Card ever had. And
rlm@2 266 whatever caused it was in here, with her, silent. Whatever, or whoever.
rlm@2 267
rlm@2 268 Frustrated, she began walking again, one hand following the smooth,
rlm@2 269 cool wall, the endless corridors leading nowhere, the petaled path
rlm@2 270 stretching behind her into the distance. If only she could hear the
rlm@2 271 song again, she could get her bearings. She thought of Tomoyo-chan's
rlm@2 272 songs, her sweet voice, and suddenly felt a pang of longing for her
rlm@2 273 friend. Alone, the auburn haired girl realized how much she missed
rlm@2 274 the presence of the one who was always at her side, with her on all
rlm@2 275 her adventures, waiting for her at school, always with a kindly look,
rlm@2 276 a gentle touch, and encouraging words.
rlm@2 277
rlm@2 278 Tomoyo-chan. The wonder, the miracle of her friendship was something
rlm@2 279 she often took for granted amid the whirl of the Cards. But here,
rlm@2 280 alone in the twilight halls, she keenly felt the absence of that
rlm@2 281 sweet, loving presence. Even her odd obsessions, the costumes and the
rlm@2 282 videotapes (sweat drop forming), were signs of her love. Then, with a
rlm@2 283 gasp, Sakura froze.
rlm@2 284
rlm@2 285 Her love. Sakura, mouth open, stared at the ground in stunned
rlm@2 286 surprise. Her love. The crimson heat of an epochal blush crept up her
rlm@2 287 neck and shoulders and, like a red tsunami, overwhelmed her.
rlm@2 288
rlm@2 289 "She...she likes me...like that".
rlm@2 290
rlm@2 291 Gripping the staff at her chest with both hands, Sakura stood
rlm@2 292 breathless.
rlm@2 293
rlm@2 294 "She...loves me". Shaking her head furiously, she cried, "Hooeee,
rlm@2 295 why didn't I see? Why didn't she tell me? Why?"
rlm@2 296
rlm@2 297 Closing her eyes, Sakura thought of how unspeakably painful it must
rlm@2 298 have been for Tomoyo-chan, her most precious gift unseen and
rlm@2 299 unrecognized. But from Tomoyo, never a reproachful glare, an angry
rlm@2 300 word, never anything but unbounded, unconditional love.
rlm@2 301
rlm@2 302 "Baka", exclaimed Sakura, as her tears fell freely, 'How can I have
rlm@2 303 been so stupid? All this time, she loved me, and I, I didn't even
rlm@2 304 know. I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan, I'm so, so sorry...." Dropping to
rlm@2 305 her knees, the Mistress of the Cards buried her face in her hands,
rlm@2 306 sobbing.
rlm@2 307
rlm@2 308 All this time, loving me...silently loving me. Through teary eyes,
rlm@2 309 Sakura stared into the distance and whispered,
rlm@2 310
rlm@2 311 "Silently....loving me?"
rlm@2 312
rlm@2 313 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
rlm@2 314
rlm@2 315 And then, she heard it again.
rlm@2 316
rlm@2 317 Louder this time, the song wafted from the center, the very heart of
rlm@2 318 the maze. Staggering to her feet, Sakura stumbled towards the sound.
rlm@2 319 Her face, streaked with tears, brightened as she recognized the voice,
rlm@2 320
rlm@2 321 "Tomoyo-chan...Tomoyo-chan!"
rlm@2 322
rlm@2 323 Racing towards the source of the song, Sakura felt her heart
rlm@2 324 throbbing from excitment and exertion. All the feelings of the past
rlm@2 325 month welled up inside her, but focused now, like a laser beam of
rlm@2 326 light. Now she understood. The roaring tempest within, no longer
rlm@2 327 angry at her ignorance, throbbed in harmony with her own heart. Now,
rlm@2 328 at last, she realized who she loved, had always loved, and always
rlm@2 329 would love for ever and ever and ever.
rlm@2 330
rlm@2 331 "Tomoyo-chan!"
rlm@2 332
rlm@2 333 Ahead, a pale, amythest light shone as the maze began to dissipate
rlm@2 334 and dissolve. The love song flowed like the burbling water of a
rlm@2 335 mountain brook, like white-hot lava, like the stars and the suns and
rlm@2 336 the moons in the black velvet river of the sky. Sobbing, laughing,
rlm@2 337 delighted, Sakura neared the white shrouded, dark haired singer
rlm@2 338 bathed in a shimmering, purple glow. Slowly the figure turned to face
rlm@2 339 her, blue eyes sparkling, smiling.
rlm@2 340
rlm@2 341
rlm@2 342 "Sakura-chan?"
rlm@2 343
rlm@2 344 Puzzled, smiling, Tomoyo took her friend by the hand, leading her
rlm@2 345 into the spacious room. A shadow of concern darkened her face as she
rlm@2 346 squeezed the girl's hand and whispered,
rlm@2 347
rlm@2 348 "Sakura-chan, are you all right?"
rlm@2 349
rlm@2 350 Catching her breath, blinking as she realized the maze had vanished,
rlm@2 351 Sakura saw the familiar outlines of her friend's room. Looking at
rlm@2 352 Tomoyo she smiled, blushed fiercely, then glanced away.
rlm@2 353
rlm@2 354 "Tomoyo-chan, I...."
rlm@2 355
rlm@2 356 Tomoyo gently held her hands, head tilted to one side, and gazed in
rlm@2 357 wonder.
rlm@2 358
rlm@2 359 "Tomoyo-chan, I like you. I...I really like you".
rlm@2 360
rlm@2 361 With a musical laugh that angels might envy, Tomoyo beamed and
rlm@2 362 replied,
rlm@2 363
rlm@2 364 "I like you too, Sakura."
rlm@2 365
rlm@2 366 Shaking her head wildly, Sakura squeezed the startled girl's hands
rlm@2 367 in an iron grip.
rlm@2 368
rlm@2 369 "No...NO! I don't mean it like that. I....Tomoyo," Her emerald eyes
rlm@2 370 flashed fire as she grappled with the words,
rlm@2 371
rlm@2 372 "Tomoyo I....I love you. I love you, too"
rlm@2 373
rlm@2 374 For a long second, Tomoyo's face was a mask of shock and surprise.
rlm@2 375 Then, smiling through the tears, blue eyes shimmering in unforeseen
rlm@2 376 joy, her face shone with a radiant, heavenly light. Hand in hand,
rlm@2 377 eyes locked together, the two friends stood alabaster still. Leaning
rlm@2 378 closer, Sakura felt a warm breath against her tear-stained cheek.
rlm@2 379 Eyes closing, her lips lightly brushed against Tomoyo's. Tomoyo
rlm@2 380 wrapped her arms around Sakura as she returned the kiss with a gentle
rlm@2 381 passion.
rlm@2 382
rlm@2 383 Sakura and Tomoyo stood, entwined and oblivious, as Flower gaily
rlm@2 384 danced above them, showering the lovers in a hurricane of blossoms.
rlm@2 385
rlm@2 386
rlm@2 387
rlm@2 388
rlm@2 389
rlm@2 390
rlm@2 391
rlm@2 392
rlm@2 393
rlm@2 394
rlm@2 395
rlm@2 396
rlm@2 397
rlm@2 398 Love is the sweet, silent song. And in the maze lies Tomoyo,
rlm@2 399 waiting, her silent song heard at last by Sakura, who braves the
rlm@2 400 confusion of the Maze to bring back her one true Love.