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1 Dear Sakura
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rlm@2
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2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
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3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
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5
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6
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7 Dear Tomoyo-chan,
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8
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9 Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you
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10 again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to
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11 places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being
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12 with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content,
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13 as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost
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14 as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete
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15 without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re
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16 so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I
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17 guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a
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18 help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things
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19 better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and
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20 for all the years you have been my very best friend.
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21
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22 The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from
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23 Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I
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24 just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There
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25 really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy.
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26 But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So,
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27 the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be
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28 patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you
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29 have gone.
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30
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31 Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It
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32 seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up
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33 talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when
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34 we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our
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35 adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on,
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36 and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about
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37 all we went through together, it really is quite amazing. I tried to
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38 find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me,
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39 or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if
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40 you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be
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41 happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them
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42 myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who
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43 could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her
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44 about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit.
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45 I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping
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46 it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to
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47 be Tomoyo-chan's true love!
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48
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49 I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very
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50 quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It
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51 really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of
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52 you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering
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53 her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was
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54 cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too.
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55 At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had
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56 never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She
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57 looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes
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58 we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very
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59 angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the
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60 kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also
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61 baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled
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62 at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo-
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63 chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is
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64 unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she
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65 dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But
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66 Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would
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67 you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not
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68 as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan.
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69 You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't
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70 been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like
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71 this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't
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72 think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that
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73 a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it
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74 out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai.
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75
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76 I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is
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77 so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are
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78 lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to
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79 look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to
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80 figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so
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81 complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season
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82 starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this
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83 fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure
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84 out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy.
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85 Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays
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86 from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright
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87 little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant.
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88
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89 I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you.
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90 But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really
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91 upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you
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92 left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that
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93 when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and
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94 moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble
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95 expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we
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96 sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that,
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97 especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but
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98 it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help
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99 it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a
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100 stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out.
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101
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102 I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying.
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103 Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to
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104 calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the
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105 beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were
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106 still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there,
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107 comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart
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108 still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You
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109 are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan
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110 left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right
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111 away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not
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112 finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I
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113 realized it was a costume for me.
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114
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115 Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it,
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116 because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so
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117 carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered
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118 all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger,
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119 and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really
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120 didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my
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121 precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful
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122 present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I
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123 have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so
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124 close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I
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125 understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the
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126 Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being
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127 with you.
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128
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129 I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt
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130 better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if
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131 you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long.
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132 Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I
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133 feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last
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134 night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess
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135 this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me,
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136 even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.
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137
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138
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139
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140 With all my love,
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141
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142
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143
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144 Kinomoto Sakura
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145
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146
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147 Dear Sakura-chan,
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148 I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail.
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149 Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you
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150 even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always
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151 such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I
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152 can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you
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153 were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to
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154 look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed
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155 carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s
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156 bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger
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157 box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I
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158 reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They
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159 have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to
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160 entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl.
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161 Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep
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162 myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would
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163 never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was
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164 the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world
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165 that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life,
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166 granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so
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167 very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful
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168 to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life
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169 again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I
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170 wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that
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171 really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga,
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172 Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of
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173 everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always
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174 thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy
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175 that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful
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176 life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing
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177 than the pieces I have in my VCR.
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178 Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by
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179 far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places
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180 to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan.
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181 It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you
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182 for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me
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183 with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be
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184 able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a
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185 short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were
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186 pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely
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187 experience. I will carry it with me always.
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188 Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling
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189 face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be,
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190 so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit
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191 and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of
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192 the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some
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193 videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was
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194 there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take
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195 quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran-
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196 sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy
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197 about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother
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198 didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a
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199 bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the
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200 pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been
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201 switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my
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202 heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just
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203 Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but
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204 you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I
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205 could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever
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206 says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been
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207 through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always
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208 agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I
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209 shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other
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210 again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well
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211 as my own.
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212 Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s
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213 very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me
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214 will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong
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215 to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left
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216 it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other
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217 purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a
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218 while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you
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219 found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what
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220 to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s
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221 so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I
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222 always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when
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223 you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to
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224 see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or
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225 another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery
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226 determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your
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227 beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set
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228 your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura-
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229 chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked
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230 on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout
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231 it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your
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232 life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest
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233 wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing
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234 more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart
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235 into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even
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236 this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad.
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237 But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish
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238 it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for
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239 you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you
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240 with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as
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241 a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor.
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242 You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what
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243 brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them.
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244 You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an
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245 accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t
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246 finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan.
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247 I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to
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248 help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more
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249 complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could
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250 in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just
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251 remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of
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252 your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination
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253 I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste
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254 exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because
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255 Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but
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rlm@2
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256 she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it.
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rlm@2
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257 I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out
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rlm@2
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258 that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had
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rlm@2
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259 some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased
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rlm@2
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260 me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick
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261 with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much
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rlm@2
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262 more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of
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rlm@2
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263 and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind
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rlm@2
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264 the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing,
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rlm@2
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265 the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able
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rlm@2
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266 to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing
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rlm@2
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267 to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you
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rlm@2
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268 and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded
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rlm@2
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269 me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the
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rlm@2
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270 one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were
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271 so adorable in it!
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rlm@2
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272 I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very
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rlm@2
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273 straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t
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rlm@2
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274 tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and
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rlm@2
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275 my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind
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276 woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going
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rlm@2
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277 to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break.
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rlm@2
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278 Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her
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rlm@2
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279 cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot
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rlm@2
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280 to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even
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rlm@2
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281 if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister
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rlm@2
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282 I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t
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rlm@2
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283 exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk
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284 while I was there.
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rlm@2
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285 Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very
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rlm@2
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286 happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few
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rlm@2
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287 difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them
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rlm@2
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288 anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is
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rlm@2
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289 almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in
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rlm@2
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290 love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy
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rlm@2
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291 for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I
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292 stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think
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293 I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will
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rlm@2
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294 ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So
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rlm@2
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295 I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them
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rlm@2
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296 with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any
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rlm@2
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297 longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do
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298 now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one
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299 day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as
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300 they continue forward in their life.
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rlm@2
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301 I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times,
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rlm@2
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302 but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family
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rlm@2
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303 and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended
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rlm@2
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304 for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li
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rlm@2
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305 Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And
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rlm@2
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306 aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for
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rlm@2
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307 a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she
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rlm@2
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308 doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever
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rlm@2
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309 hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by,
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rlm@2
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310 I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun
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rlm@2
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311 was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very
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rlm@2
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312 differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar
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rlm@2
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313 position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you
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rlm@2
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314 will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship
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315 with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one
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rlm@2
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316 of them. By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen
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rlm@2
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317 of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She
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rlm@2
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318 must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I
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rlm@2
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319 took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a
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rlm@2
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320 bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong,
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rlm@2
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321 outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also
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rlm@2
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322 worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with
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rlm@2
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323 your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you.
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rlm@2
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324 The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll
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rlm@2
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325 be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very
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rlm@2
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326 excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura-
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rlm@2
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327 chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart.
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rlm@2
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328 I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little
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rlm@2
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329 cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The
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rlm@2
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330 little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of
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rlm@2
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331 all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my
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rlm@2
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332 videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with
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rlm@2
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333 Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer
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rlm@2
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334 is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was
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rlm@2
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335 based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her
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rlm@2
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336 friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura-
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rlm@2
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337 chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that
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rlm@2
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338 you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it,
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rlm@2
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339 especially as time goes by.
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rlm@2
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340 Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with
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rlm@2
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341 Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m
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rlm@2
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342 afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very
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rlm@2
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343 jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to
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rlm@2
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344 Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of
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rlm@2
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345 you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun
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rlm@2
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346 everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite
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rlm@2
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347 some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he
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rlm@2
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348 must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I
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rlm@2
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349 was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never
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rlm@2
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350 wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an
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rlm@2
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351 apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as
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rlm@2
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352 possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful
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rlm@2
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353 marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there.
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rlm@2
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354 You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my
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rlm@2
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355 thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you,
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rlm@2
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356 holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there
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rlm@2
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357 instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and
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rlm@2
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358 care.
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rlm@2
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359 I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you
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rlm@2
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360 have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm
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rlm@2
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361 inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best
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rlm@2
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362 thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my
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rlm@2
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363 life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could
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rlm@2
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364 never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you
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rlm@2
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365 have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my
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rlm@2
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366 life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream
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rlm@2
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367 about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart,
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rlm@2
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368 even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you.
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rlm@2
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369 Because my heart will always call out to you.
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370
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rlm@2
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371 You friend forever,
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rlm@2
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372 Daidouji Tomoyo
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rlm@2
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373
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rlm@2
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374
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375
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376
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