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1 Hello everyone! ^-^ This is our first Card Captor Sakura and its also our first
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2 real depressing story, but please stick it out till the end. ^^; We really hope you
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3 enjoy this. ^^ We’d love to know what you think so please e-mail us at:
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4 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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5 We’d like to write more CCS stories (we’re working on a more lighthearted one
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6 already) so hopefully we’ll actually get around to them sometime soon. ^^;
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7 Tomoyo and Sakura are just so cute together. ^=^
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8
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9
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10 Fallen Horses
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11
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12 By Amazoness Duo
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13
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14
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15 Tomoyo clutched the blade tightly in her hand. She was happy for Sakura. She
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16 was always happy for Sakura. No matter what. She loved her, but what did
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17 that matter? If Sakura was in love with someone else, then she'd be happy
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18 for Sakura. How could she be selfish? She'd never been selfish about Sakura
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19 before. Why start now?
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20
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21 Sakura meant everything to Tomoyo. She was her life. What else did
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22 she have now? She knew she'd end up like her mother, losing the one person
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23 she truly loved. She'd grow older alone, maybe having a daughter and
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24 continuing the cycle that had begun with her mother.
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25
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26 Tomoyo looked around her dark room again. The curtains were drawn tightly,
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27 leaving the room heavily shadowed. She saw her video camera lying on her
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28 dresser. How many times had she used that to record her love? How many times
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29 had she watched Sakura over and over from the tapes she'd recorded?
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30 The dark haired girl sighed sadly and switched off the TV that had been
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31 playing the flickering images of the one she loved. Making the costumes Sakura
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32 had worn and videotaping her wearing them had been some of the happiest
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33 times in her life. Happy times she knew she'd no longer have.
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34
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35 She had seen Sakura kiss him. That had hurt her more than any physical
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36 thing ever could. It cut deeply into her soul. She'd tried not to let it get
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37 to her too badly, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. He had won. He had
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38 gotten Sakura. She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter. She loved
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39 Sakura and she'd be happy as long as Sakura was happy. And Sakura was
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40 definitely happy. Tomoyo couldn't handle it anymore. She loved the other
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41 girl so much. It felt like her life was over now that Sakura had fallen in
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42 love with someone else.
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43
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44 Tomoyo had told Sakura that she was in love with her before. But Sakura
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45 thought she was talking about the love of a friend. That had hurt to some
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46 extent, too. She had intended to tell Sakura when she thought the brown haired
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47 girl was mature enough to understand, but now it seemed she was too late.
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48 Would it have changed anything had she explained to Sakura earlier? Would
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49 things have still turned out this way? What would Sakura think if she knew
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50 Tomoyo was in love with her? It could destroy the only thing still important to
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51 Tomoyo, their friendship.
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52
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53 Tomoyo was left with a difficult decision to make. She paced nervously as
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54 she held the blade. She could try to tell Sakura so the other girl would at
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55 least know. Or she could end things now before she destroyed their
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56 friendship.
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57
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58 Tomoyo looked at the picture of Sakura she kept on her nightstand. She was the
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59 most beautiful thing Tomoyo had ever seen. She winced as she felt
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60 the biting edge of the knife pressed against her wrist. Tears ran down her
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61 cheeks as she slumped to her knees, unsure of what to do, her mind filled
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62 with conflicting thoughts. What about everyone else? Could she really leave
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63 them all behind? What would they think if she was gone? But it hurt so much.
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64 She loved Sakura so much. She would always love her. She didn't want to go
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65 on if she knew Sakura would never love her. She'd tried to be happy for
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66 Sakura, but that didn't keep the emptiness from filling her. There was a void
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67 inside her that seemed to grow everyday. She'd tried to talk to her mom, but
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68 her heart had sunk further when she'd heard of her mother's own tragic love for
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69 Nadeshiko. She could try to tell Sakura, but what good could it do now? Wasn't
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70 it too late? How could she compete? Sakura loved him, didn't she?
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71
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72 Tomoyo gasped as the knife pushed deeper against her pale skin.
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73 "Sakura-chan," she said, her voice cracking. "I love you, Sakura-chan."
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74
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75 ********
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76
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77 Sakura weeped over the grave of her best friend. Her shaking hand set down
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78 some flowers on the cold, damp ground. 'If only I'd told you earlier,' Sakura
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79 thought to herself. 'Would you still be here now if I'd told you how I
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80 felt?' The girl was wracked by sobs as she stared at the tombstone. This was
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81 unfair. She was the Card Mistress. Things weren't supposed to end up like
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82 this. She'd do anything to bring the dark haired girl back. Hot tears fell from
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83 her chin to the cold dirt below. "Tomoyo," she cried sadly.
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84
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85 ******
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86
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87 Sakura woke up drenched in sweat, her sheets tangled around her. Her heart was
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88 beating heavily in her chest, as if trying to escape. She gasped for breath, trying
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89 to think, trying to get rid of the horrid images still invading her mind. ‘It was
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90 just a dream,’ she told herself over and over. Tomoyo was just a phone call
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91 away. She’d see her the next day at school. Everything was fine. She sat
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92 uncomfortably in bed, kicking the sheets off of her. Was everything really fine?
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93
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94 When she’d finally found out how Tomoyo felt about her, she’d acted scared,
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95 uncertain. Tomoyo had just smiled and told her that she was glad to get to tell
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96 her, but the smile hadn’t reached her eyes. They had lost the sparkle they’d held
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97 moments before. They seemed empty, sad. Had she acted too harshly? She
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98 hadn’t meant to, but she’d been so shocked. She had no idea her best friend was
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99 in love with her. What was she supposed to do? What could she say? Tomoyo
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100 had left, but she hadn’t gone after her. She’d just sat there as the dark haired girl
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101 walked away. When she’d worked up the courage later, she tried to call
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102 Tomoyo, but her mother said she wouldn’t answer.
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103
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104 Sakura realized Tomoyo must have been scared to tell her. The dark haired girl
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105 had no idea how Sakura would react if she knew. Yet she’d told her anyway.
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106 Tomoyo must have been scared of what would happen next but she had told her.
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107 And Sakura had hurt her friend with her reaction. She had hurt her friend badly.
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108
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109 As she stared straight ahead in the darkness, she remembered how Tomoyo had
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110 told her before, when they were younger. And how she hadn’t understood what
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111 the dark haired girl had meant. Tomoyo said she’d tell Sakura when they were
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112 older and she did. In retrospect Sakura wondered how she could have been so
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113 blind to Tomoyo’s affections. So much made since now that she knew. It was
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114 like a fog had been lifted.
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115
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116 Why had she acted the way she did when Tomoyo had told her? Because she
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117 was scared, she told herself. She was scared because she didn’t understand. How
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118 could she be in love with her? They were both girls. They’re mothers were
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119 cousins. They were best friends. Because she just was afraid. She was afraid of
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120 what might happen. They’d been best friends ever since Sakura had given
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121 Tomoyo an eraser in class. They had been best friends for so long. What would
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122 happen now? Would that change between them if Tomoyo loved her? No, she’d
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123 felt that way for a long time so the only thing that would change would be
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124 Sakura. Would things change if they were in love? Perhaps that thought had
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125 frightened Sakura the most. The thought that maybe she echoed Tomoyo’s
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126 feelings. After some soul searching over the past few days, she knew how she
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127 felt. She was in love with Tomoyo as well.
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128
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129 But now what could she do? Tomoyo wouldn’t even talk to her. What if she did
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130 go as far as in the dream? Now, when Sakura realized how she felt about the
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131 dark haired girl, the reality that Tomoyo could be stripped from her so easily
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132 chilled her to the bones. She tried to think of what Tomoyo was doing at this
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133 instant, but none of the thoughts eased her mind. She was filled with dread as
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134 she remembered some of the premonitions she’d had in dreams before. Could
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135 this be one of them? She couldn’t lose Tomoyo now. She just couldn’t.
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136
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137 Sakura stood up in bed, the soft sheets rustling against her bare feet. She
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138 climbed off onto the carpet and looked around for her staff. She clutched it
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139 tightly and headed for the window. Cold air blew into her room as she opened
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140 the window. Her sweat drenched pajamas clung to her. She shivered and
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141 climbed outside. She knew what she had to do. She had to see Tomoyo. She had
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142 to know she was all right. She had to tell her how she felt before it was too late.
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143
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144 “Fly!” She yelled as she invoked the power of the Clow Cards. Two angel wings
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145 appeared on her back. Hopping into the air, she flew as fast as she could towards
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146 Tomoyo’s house. She willed herself to go faster, hoping she wasn’t too late,
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147 praying it was just a dream. The landscape beneath her blurred from the speed
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148 she was going and her own tears. She blinked them back, trying to concentrate.
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149 Her pajamas rustled against the biting wind.
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150
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151 She almost missed the luxurious house Tomoyo and her mother shared because
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152 of her frantic hurry. She flew closer to the house, trying desperately to spot
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153 Tomoyo’s window. She made a silent prayer that the light would be on, that the
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154 dark haired girl was still awake watching a video or sewing a costume.
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155 Something, anything. She finally spotted Tomoyo’s window. The light was off
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156 and her blinds were closed. The pit in Sakura’s stomach doubled in size. Her
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157 heart thundered as she reached out to the window. She rapped on it heavily,
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158 trying to wake the dark haired girl up, hoping she could wake up. The wind blew
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159 past her again as she waited for some response. Even Tomoyo being angry with
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160 her would be better than this…silence. She prepared to knock again, louder this
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161 time, when the window opened.
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162
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163 Tomoyo groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She pulled her blanket tighter
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164 around herself as the wind blew inside. “Sakura-chan?” she asked sleepily.
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165
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166 “Tomoyo-chan!” Sakura practically bolted into the room. Her arms went around
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167 the unprepared dark haired girl and dragged her close. “Oh, Tomoyo,” she
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168 sobbed.
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169
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170 Tomoyo abruptly got worried at the sound of Sakura’s voice. She felt the other
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171 girl’s warm tears on her bare shoulder. “Sakura? What’s wrong?” Sakura
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172 shuddered against her, relief flooding into her. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan.
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173 It’s okay. Please tell me.”
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174
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175 The comforting tone in Tomoyo’s soft voice carried through Sakura. The tears
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176 slowly trickled to a stop. “Tomoyo, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried.”
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177 Her voice wavered as she spoke.
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178
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179 “Me?” Tomoyo asked surprised. “Sakura, I’m fine.”
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180
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181 “Are you?” Sakura asked quietly. The dark haired girl looked away. She tried to
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182 say something, but nothing came out when she tried. She didn’t know what to
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183 say to Sakura. “Tomoyo, look at me. Please?” Sakura’s pleading voice broke in
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184 through Tomoyo’s thoughts. She slowly turned back to face the other girl. “I
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185 was so scared. I’d thought…. I thought you were gone. I thought I’d never see
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186 you again. That scared me more than anything ever has.”
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187
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188 “You mean… No, Sakura-chan, I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Tomoyo
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189 smiled reassuringly. Sakura’s gaze went to a knife on Tomoyo’s nightstand. The
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190 dark haired girl laughed nervously. “That’s for cutting some threads on your
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191 outfits I’m making.”
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192
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193 “Tomoyo, I don’t want to live without you,” Sakura said sadly. “I couldn’t live
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194 with myself if anything ever happened to you. Please don’t leave me like that. I
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195 know I hurt you, but I’m sorry.” Tears started to fill her eyes again as she looked
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196 directly at Tomoyo.
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197
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198 Tomoyo couldn’t meet Sakura’s gaze. “Sakura…” she said weakly. She loved
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199 the other girl more than her own life. She’d been heartbroken when Sakura had
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200 reacted frightened to her confession of love. She just wanted Sakura to know, to
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201 understand how she felt. Sakura’s fingers on her chin brought her eyes up to
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202 meet Sakura’s. “Sakura, I…”
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203
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204 “I love you,” Sakura said before the dark haired girl got the chance. She leaned
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205 in and kissed Tomoyo softly on the lips. She felt a warmth in her heart as they
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206 kissed. The dark haired girl’s lips were heaven.
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207
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208 Tomoyo’s eyes went wide and her hands fell to her sides. She was completely
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209 caught off guard by Sakura’s sudden words. Her spirits soared as the realization
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210 of Sakura’s words hit her. Her eyes closed halfway and tears slowly slid down
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211 her cheeks. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do.
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212 Tomoyo kissed Sakura back, a dream she’d long held fulfilled in the space of
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213 one blissful moment.
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214
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215 Blushing after they pulled apart, Sakura looked deeply into Tomoyo’s eyes.
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216 “Tomoyo-chan, I love you,” she said again. She waited nervously for the other
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217 girl’s reply. What if Tomoyo was still mad at her for earlier? What if she
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218 decided she didn’t need Sakura? What would happen to the two of them? Sakura
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219 banished the thoughts from her mind. She was scared about what might happen
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220 now that she’d admitted how she felt, but she pushed those feelings back. She
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221 wasn’t going to let it control her. Love was more important than fear. She
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222 couldn’t let it stop her.
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223
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224 “Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s arms wrapped around the other girl. She’d dreamed
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225 of hearing those words over and over for years in her dreams, practicing what
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226 she’d say in her mind when she was awake. She just wanted to hold Sakura, to
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227 be in her arms forever. “Sakura, I love you so much.”
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228
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229 Sakura smiled. Things would be fine. She and Tomoyo had gotten through so
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230 much since they were little kids. They’d always been there for each other. They
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231 could make it through this, too. They would together. “Tomoyo-chan, just
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232 promise me. Promise me you’ll never leave me,” she said, trying to shake the
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233 last images from her dream.
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234
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235 Tomoyo’s heart ached at the serious look on Sakura’s face. She had never
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236 wanted to make her sad. “I promise. I love you, Sakura. Forever.”
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237
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238 “Forever,” Sakura repeated, a smile spreading on her lips. She leaned in and
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239 kissed Tomoyo again, this time more passionately. The two stayed that way for
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240 a long time, kissing and holding each other, neither wanting to let go. After what
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241 seemed like an eternity, they finally parted.
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242
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243 “Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said softly. “Don’t go.”
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244
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245 Sakura looked hesitantly back at Tomoyo. Those big dark blue eyes beckoned
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246 her to stay. She turned her gaze back to the window. She knew her father and
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247 brother would get worried if she wasn’t there when they woke up. And
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248 Tomoyo’s mother would probably want an explanation of what she was doing
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249 here. Yet, she wanted to stay. Let everything come in the morning,. They could
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250 deal with it then. After everything that had happened, she didn’t want to up and
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251 leave Tomoyo alone right now. After telling the other girl she was in love with
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252 her, there was so much they both wanted to say, to know. She again turned back
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253 at Tomoyo. The dark haired girl looked at her hopefully. Sakura reached over
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254 and closed the window. Tomoyo smiled brightly.
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255
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256 As the two lay whispering to each other on Tomoyo’s bed, they let everything
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257 poor out. Feelings and emotions, dreams and worries. All the tension from the
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rlm@2
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258 past few days drained away as the two lay in a tight embrace. They slowly
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rlm@2
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259 drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning.
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260
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rlm@2
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261 The dim outline of Nadeshiko smiled approvingly at the two sleeping girls. An
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262 ethereal hand gently brushed through her daughter’s hair. Sakura’s dream had
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263 been a frightening one, but in the end it had brought her together with the one
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264 she loved. Slowly backing away from the bed, Nadeshiko felt a twinge of guilt
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rlm@2
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265 for having to put Sakura through that. She had sent the dream as a way to
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rlm@2
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266 motivate Sakura into revealing her true feelings. She hadn’t wanted to scare her
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267 like that, but for Sakura to be happy she had to accept how she felt. She was
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268 glad it had wound up so well. She knew her daughter would be fine. She had
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269 always looked out for her and now she knew someone else would, too. She
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270 smiled to herself as she started to fade away. “Sleep well, Sakura,” she said, her
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rlm@2
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271 voice hardly above a whisper, before she disappeared.
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272
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