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comparison html/err.html @ 1:12573db75437

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added cute error page by dylan. Going to fix index page
author Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu>
date Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:21:38 -0700
parents
children 6ab1effc3a88
comparison
equal deleted inserted replaced
0:c1a872bbc9f9 1:12573db75437
1 <html>
2 <head>
3 <title>error-daemon@aurellem:</title>
4 <style type="text/css">
5 html,body{margin:0;padding:0;}
6 body{font:100% monospace;line-height:1.2em;}
7
8 body{background:black;color:white;}
9 em{color:#444;font-style:normal; background:white;}
10 em{background:inherit;color:inherit;color:#fcc;}
11 </style>
12 <script type="text/javascript" src="/aurellem/src/js/jquery.min.js"></script>
13
14 <script type="text/javascript">
15 var caret;
16
17 // caret functions
18
19 function Caret(){
20 this.obj = null;
21 this.txt = "";
22 this.glyph = "_";
23 this.glyph = "&#x2588;";
24 this.gylph_mode = false;
25 this.queue = new Array();//queue of things to type next
26
27 this.attach = function(elt){this.obj = elt;}
28 this.refresh = function(){
29 $(this.obj).html(this.txt + (this.glyph_mode ? this.glyph : ""));
30 }
31 this.stall = function(n){
32 for(i=0;i<n;i++){this.instantly('##')};// ## is used to mean Stall for one increment
33 }
34 this.blink = function(){
35 this.glyph_mode = !this.glyph_mode;
36 this.refresh();
37 }
38 this.keystroke = function(str){this.queue = this.queue.concat(str.split(""));}
39 this.instantly = function(str){this.queue.push(str)}
40 this.newline = function(str){this.instantly('<br>');}
41 this.prompt = function(){this.instantly('<em>error-daemon@aurellem:$</em> ');}
42
43 this.type = function(){
44 if(this.queue.length > 0){
45 var x = this.queue.shift();
46 if(x != "##"){this.txt += x;}
47 this.refresh();
48 }
49 }
50 }
51
52
53
54 function error_404(){
55
56 caret.instantly("**** ERROR 404: PAGE NOT FOUND");
57
58 caret.newline();
59 caret.prompt();
60 caret.stall(80);
61 caret.keystroke("I regret to inform you that the page you have requested does not exist on our servers at this time.");
62
63 caret.newline();
64 caret.prompt();
65 caret.stall(40);
66 caret.keystroke("Preliminary analysis, building on previously acquired data, indicates that some form of human error is to blame. ");
67 caret.stall(20);
68 caret.keystroke("Furthermore, all available data indicate that computer involvement of any kind is extremely unlikely.");
69 caret.stall(20);
70
71 caret.keystroke(" Possible human errors include:");
72 caret.newline();
73 caret.prompt();
74 caret.stall(40);
75 caret.instantly("&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;");
76 caret.keystroke("1. The authors of aurellem, both of whom are are manifestly human, may have directed you, the user, to a nonexistent page.");
77
78 caret.newline();
79 caret.prompt();
80 caret.stall(40);
81 caret.instantly("&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;");
82 caret.keystroke("2. The authors of another webpage, many of whom are manifestly human, may have directed you, the user, to a nonexistent page.");
83
84 caret.newline();
85 caret.prompt();
86 caret.stall(40);
87 caret.instantly("&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;");
88 caret.keystroke("3. You, the user, ");
89 caret.stall(40);
90 caret.keystroke("manifestly human");
91 caret.stall(20);
92 caret.keystroke(", may have directed yourself to a nonexistent page.");
93
94
95 caret.newline();
96 caret.prompt();
97 caret.stall(40);
98 caret.keystroke("Please be advised that you or another human may have subjected you to malice and/or incompetence by directing you to request a page that does not exist on our servers at this time.");
99 caret.stall(20);caret.newline();caret.keystroke("Please be advised that this incident has been reported and that the responsible parties are being determined. ");
100 caret.stall(40);
101 caret.instantly("*****Have a nice day.*****");
102 caret.stall(60);
103 caret.instantly("<br><br>Connection to aurellem closed.");
104 }
105
106
107 $(document).ready(function(){
108 caret = new Caret();
109 caret.attach($('body'));
110 caret.refresh();
111
112 error_404();
113
114 // blinking cursor
115 (function(){caret.blink();setTimeout(String("("+arguments.callee+")()"),500);})();
116 // typing text
117 (function(){caret.type();setTimeout(String("("+arguments.callee+")()"),40);})();
118
119
120
121 });
122
123 </script>
124
125 </head>
126 <body>
127 testsetahslkfashdljkasdfhkljasdhflskadfhlksadfhlkasdfhlkajsdfhlkasdfhlaksdfhlkjadfhalkjsdfhkalsdfhlkj
128 <em>TESERHKSJLDFHKSJLDF</em>
129 </body>
130
131 </html>